The HOME SECRETARY, after the revelations made by a distinguished member
of the Representative body of Theatrical Managers and Music Hall
Proprietors that called upon him last week to protest against the
further extension of Inspecting Powers to the Metropolitan Board, having
expressed a wish to hear something still further of the correspondence,
said to be of a blackmailing character, which was referred to in the
course of the proceedings, the Deputation again called on him yesterday
afternoon for the purpose of supplying him with fresh information on the
subject.
[Illustration: Augustus Druriolanus opposing the Invasion of Plancus
Operator Autocraticus.]
In re-introducing them, Mr. JACKSON PARTLAND, M.P., said that since
their last interview they had heard that, with a view to the better
control of the correspondence of subordinate officials of the Board, an
enterprising firm of publishers had undertaken to provide for their use
A COMPLETE LETTER-WRITER, a few of the proof-sheets of which had chanced
to come into their possession. As they seemed to have some bearing on
the present case, they thought that perhaps the HOME SECRETARY might
like to look at them. In presenting them to his notice, they felt it was
hardly necessary to point out that a public Department from which such
documents might be expected to issue was scarcely calculated to inspire
that general confidence so essential to the smooth and efficient working
that might reasonably be expected of it. The subjoined proof-sheets,
which he appeared to peruse with much attention, were then handed to the
HOME SECRETARY:--
_From an Official of the Board to a Popular Manager, asking for Places
during the Height of the Pantomime Season._
_Metropolitan Board of Shirks Compromising Architect's
Department, Spring Heel Gardens, February 17._
MY DEAR GUS,--(Excuse the familiarity, but it is a way we have on the
"Board")--I know you are turning money away nightly, but you must really
manage to let me have the Queen's Box, and the two others on each side
of it (all three knocked into one) for three days--say, Monday,
Thursday, and Friday next week. I wish to bring my grandfather, two aged
aunts, my sister-in-law, all her children, and my own, and lots of
cousins and connections who know my interest with you, and have asked me
to get 'em good places. Don't say you can't do it, my dear boy, for you
know _I can be nasty when I like_, and should be sorry to put you to the
expense of clapping on another staircase or two to the upper circles.
Ha! ha! that would be a joke, wouldn't it? However, let's hope it won't
come to that. Yours ever, JOHN BEGG.
P.S.--If there's a difficulty about the boxes, I wouldn't mind a whole
row of stalls right across the theatre in the best part. But mind, one
or the other, _I must have_.
_From Same to Same, on the former receiving, in reply, an Order for two
to the Upper Boxes, not admitted after half-past Seven._
_Metropolitan Board of Shirks Compromising Architect's
Department, Spring Heel Gardens, February 19._
SIR.--I am utterly astounded at the insolence of your response to my
request, and thus fling back your tickets (re-enclosed) in your face. Do
you know, Sir, who I am? _Are you aware that I can make your theatre too
hot to hold you?_ Do you reflect that I can force you to open up a
dozen,--ay, and if need be, twenty-four--new and roomy exits on every
blessed floor in your house. And yet, with this knowledge, you dare to
haggle in your mind over the price of three paltry boxes on the Grand
Tier. Why, you must be mad!--stark! However, to be plain with you, I'll
tell you what it is. Unless you send me by return the places I have
named, and which, as an Official of the Board, have the goodness to
understand, _I claim as a right_, I'll let loose a Committee of
Inspection on you in two twos, without notice, and if, after they've
paid you a visit, they leave you a single leg to stand upon, I promise
you it won't be the fault of Yours, meaning business, officially,