_The Prodigal Pig Returns_
Professor Schermer bowed gravely to the Faculty Committee and remarked
to Professor Weyrich:
“Ach, Schon, I vass for you seeging”——
Suddenly he caught sight of, or recognized, the four culprits and,
turning to them, he bowed again, his grave face taking on a worried
expression.
“Ah,” he exclaimed, “mine gute friends, the gute pad poys. I vass in
hopes you would be gute poys before this.”
“Those,” exclaimed Professor Jervis, “are the young scoundrels who stole
your pig, Schermer. We discovered their guilt and they have confessed.”
“Mine gute Provessor Jervis,” said Professor Schermer; “dot I alretty
know long ago. They haf to me come to confess, unt they iss not
sgoundrels, but gute pad poys.”
“They confessed to you that they stole the pig and you said nothing to
the faculty of it?” exclaimed the worthy president in dismay. “Dear me,
dear me, this is a state of affairs!”
“It seems to me it was a pretty fair thing to do,” declared Weyrich.
“It was this way, Professor,” declared Larry Kirkland, addressing
Professor Weyrich and turning from Jervis, who was frowning angrily. “We
took the pig as a lark. We carried it into the third floor of the
dormitory and put it in Bartelme’s bed. We thought he would find it
there and we’d have a joke on him. When we discovered how serious the
matter was, we thought it was the fair thing to confess to Professor
Schermer that we took the pig and offer restitution. He was very kind
and offered to drop the entire matter.”
“Then if Schermer got his pig back why did he not tell us?” asked
Professor Jervis angrily.
“I haf not der peeg,” said the little professor, nodding his great head
sadly.
“What became of the ah—er—porcine victim of this escapade?” inquired
Professor Weyrich, his eyes twinkling with enjoyment he could not
entirely conceal.
“That is why I spoke just now,” volunteered Larry boldly. “We left the
pig in Bartelme’s bed, tied hand and foot. Someone else took it before
Bartelme got there. Two or three fellows were heard to carry something
down the back stairs after we left. We have been trying to find who they
were, so as to recover the pig for Professor Schermer, but until to-day
we never have had a clue.”
“Ah—young man, you have a clue now?” inquired the worthy president.
“What is it?”
“If you will tell me who informed the faculty that we stole the pig,
I’ll tell you who took him from Bartelme’s room,” asserted Larry. “Then
we’ll have a chance to recover it.”
“Unfortunately,” said the president sadly, “we cannot do that. The note
naming you as the culprits was not signed.”
After some discussion the youths were requested to retire while the
Faculty Committee discussed the question of punishment. Fifteen minutes
later they were summoned to return. Professor Jervis, hot and angry, was
just retiring.
“Anyhow,” he exclaimed angrily, “I’ll not be a party to it. I’ll not be
a party to letting every young scoundrel who flaunts defiance in the
face of the faculty go scot free.”
Jervis’ angry departure gave the youths a strong hint that they were to
be permitted to escape punishment, and fifteen minutes later, after
listening to a scathing reprimand, they emerged upon the campus with the
weight lifted.
“Come on, fellows,” said Larry Kirkland; “let’s get back that pig.
Professor Schermer is one of the squarest little men in the world and we
ought to do anything to repay him.”
“But where is it?” inquired Trumbull.
“Come over to the rooms. I have a scheme and if you fellows will go
through with it we’ll get that pig back.”
It was nine o’clock that evening when four young men advanced cautiously
toward one of the fraternity houses just outside the college grounds.
They were well prepared. By notes, telephone messages and other devices
all the regular occupants of that house had been drawn to far parts of
the town or the college colony. The one remaining was Harry Baldwin, who
was lolling disconsolately upon a couch, pretending to study and smoking
cigarettes when the door to his study opened, four fellows stepped
inside and shot the bolt.
“Hello!” exclaimed Baldwin, starting up. “You came”——
“Baldwin,” said Big Trumbull, who had been nominated to do the talking,
“we’ve come to find out what you did with Professor Schermer’s pig.”
“You stole him—you ought to know,” retorted Baldwin, betraying himself
in his surprise.
“Then you _are_ the one who wrote a note to the faculty?” demanded
Trumbull. “That’s one thing we wanted to be sure of. Now, what did you
do with the pig?”
“I didn’t take the—pig. I won’t tell you anything,” declared Baldwin
defiantly.
“Sit on him, fellows,” ordered Trumbull.
The sitting-upon process, accomplished by four athletic youths was
extremely efficacious. In three minutes Baldwin, helpless and ready to
cry from rage, weakened.
“Let loose and I’ll tell you,” he said, surrendering.
“Two of you climb off,” ordered Trumbull. “Now, Baldwin, where did you
take that pig?”
“We took him in an automobile,” replied Baldwin sullenly.
“Why?”
“Well, we saw you fellows put it in Bartelme’s room and we thought it
would get you in bad if the pig never came back.”
“Who were we?” demanded Trumbull.
“Don’t answer that, Baldwin,” said Winans as Baldwin opened his mouth to
reply. “Don’t make him any worse of a tattletale than he is.”
“All right,” assented Trumbull. “Now, Baldwin, what became of that pig?”
“We hauled it out to that road house, about seven miles out, and gave it
to the fellow who keeps the garage there.”
“All right, Baldwin—and if you’ve lied to us we’ll be back.”
“I’ll get even with you fellows for this,” stormed Baldwin as the
quartette released him and started to retreat from the fraternity house.
“I’ll see that the faculty knows all about this business.”
“Lock the door again, Win,” ordered Trumbull threateningly. “Now,
Baldwin, that won’t do. The faculty knows we took the pig. It has tried
us and found us innocent of wrongdoing. It wants to find the ones who
really stole the pig.”
“You fellows aren’t going to tell”——
“Oh, shut up,” exclaimed Trumbull in disgust. “No—you keep your mouth
shut and if we get that pig back we’ll keep quiet.”
Three hours later the rejoicing quartette, with a trussed pig emitting
muffled squeals in the tonneau of the automobile, returned and, after a
breathless skirmish to avoid the night watchman, they reached the pen
behind the biological laboratory and the precious pig was left grunting
indignantly.
Early ones among the students the following day found Professor Schermer
busy in his laboratory, speaking endearing words in broken German to the
pig, which, trussed upside down on the table, was squealing its
indignation as the scientist gloated over the discovery that his
precious germs not only were intact, but that the cultures had developed
amazingly during piggy’s period of freedom.