Many of the other papers have a Personal Column. Why should not _Mr.
Punch_ have one?
He shall.
* * *
MLLE. FORGETMÉNOT bien arrivée à Londres le 14 Février. Où est M.
Valentin?
* * *
K.--Qte uslss apply frthr. Am absltly brke. Try yr uncl.--M.
* * *
JEHOSHAPHAT.--Will all Jehoshaphats combine to send bridge tables to the
Front for use of brave boys? Subscriptions, limited to £10 each, should
be sent to Jehoshaphat Downie, Esq., 25, Sun Row, Chelsea.
* * *
FLORENCE.--I was there and waited from 1.30 till midnight. Cannot do
this often as I have tendency to pneumonia.
* * *
WILL anyone lend young man £500 on note of hand alone to enable him to
procure clothes in which to present himself at recruiting office?
Nothing but shabbiness of his wardrobe keeps him from enlisting.--Box
41, Office of this paper.
* * *
FOUND in neighbourhood of the Adelphi.--An Iron Cross, evidently awarded
by the KAISER. Initials upon it, "G. B. S." The owner is anxiously
invited to apply for it in person.--E. G., Foreign Office.
* * *
SHIRTS for our troops at the Front are still urgently needed. Please
send needles, cotton and material to Sister Susie, Drury Lane Theatre,
W.C. All persons desiring to sing about her activities should note that
the song is not published by Brothers Boosey but by another firm.
* * *
LOST, Wednesday, February 10th, between Acton and Blackheath, a
one-pound note, signed by John Bradbury.--Anyone returning the same to
X, at the Widowers' Club, will receive 1/- reward and no questions
asked.
* * *
SMITH.--Will everyone named Smith at once send a sovereign to John
Smith, Esq., 103, Old Jewry, E.C.? Patriotic purpose to which money will
be put will be explained later.
* * *
WIFE of popular actor now serving in France would much appreciate the
loan of a London house, with servants and motor car thrown in.--Box 81,
Office of this paper.
* * *
A.B.C.--Please make no further effort to meet me. The depth of my
loathing for you can never be expressed in words, at least not in this
column.--J.
* * *
POLLIES.--Will all the Pollies of England kindly help a poor Polly to
continue her lessons in voice production.--Write POLLY, 2, Birdcage
Walk.
* * *
TO OFFICERS and MEN whose letters contain good vivid accounts of
picturesque occurrences at the Front. _The Daily Inexactitude_ places no
limit on the writer's imagination.
* * *
YOUNG MAN, full of fun and robust health, who has failed in everything
he has yet undertaken and does not approve of warfare, would like
situation as gamekeeper and rabbit-killer to wealthy absentee
landowner.--Apply Box 29, Office of this paper.
* * * * *
The _Berlin Lokal-Anzeiger_, speaking of the four Turks who
succeeded in crossing the Suez Canal and who have since been
taken prisoners, says: "It is to be hoped that the four gallant
Turkish swimmers will now do good work in Egypt."
We have no doubt that work will be found for them and that the prison
authorities will shield them from the dangers of a life of indulgent
idleness.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "SOUND AND FURY."