The Turks are now reported to be retiring through the desert, and the
Germans are realising that you may take a horse to the place where
there's no water, but you cannot make him drink.
* * *
"Rapid progress," we read, "is being made in the American movement to
supply soldiers at the battle fronts in Europe with Bibles printed in
their own languages." We trust that one will be supplied to the KAISER,
who, if he ever had one, has evidently mislaid it.
* * *
Suggested title for Germany and her allies--The Hunseatic League.
* * *
The _Vossische Zeitung_, talking of the proposed blockade, says, "The
dance will begin on February 18." Germania's toe may not be light, but
it is fantastic.
* * *
You may know a man by the company he keeps. The KAISER'S friends are now
the Jolly Roger and Sir ROGER CASEMENT.
* * *
Messrs. HAGENBECK, of Hamburg, are sending Major MEHRING, the German
Commandant at Valenciennes, an elephant. So we may expect shortly to be
told by wireless that a large Indian body has gone over to the Germans.
* * *
Earl GREY, speaking at Newcastle on the War, said that a German
passenger on the _Vaterland_ remarked to him, "Can you wonder that we
hunger? We have been hungry for two hundred years and only had one
satisfying meal--in 1870. We have become hungry again." The pity, of
course, is that so few Germans can eat quite like gentlemen.
* * *
The Dorsets, we are told, have nicknamed their body belts "the dado
round the dining-room." In the whirligig of fashion the freeze is now
being ousted by its predecessor.
* * *
Much of the credit for the admirable feeding of our Expeditionary Force
is due, we learn, to Brigadier-General LONG, the Director of Supplies.
As a caustic Tommy, pointing to his "dining-room," remarked, "one wants
but little here below, but wants that little Long."
* * *
The _Deutsche Tageszeitung_ informs its readers that "the men of the
North Lancashire Regiment recently attempted to force a swarm of bees to
attack German soldiers, but the bees turned on the British and severely
stung one hundred and twenty of them." After this success it is reported
that the Death's Head Hussars are adopting a wasp as a regimental pet.
* * *
Talking of regimental pets, the lucky recipient of Princess MARY'S
Christmas gift that was packed by the QUEEN is Private PET, of the
Leinster Regiment.
* * *
With reference to the private view of a collapsible hut at the College
of Ambulance last week it is only fair to say that there is good reason
to believe that not a few of those already erected will shortly come
under this description.
* * *
The Russian Minister of Finance, M. BARK, paid a visit to this country
last week, and it is rumoured that he had an interview with another
financial magnate, Mr. BEIT, with a view to forming an ideal
combination.
* * *
Says an advertisement of the Blue Cross Fund:--"All horses cared for.
Nationality not considered." This must save the Fund's interpreters a
good deal of trouble.
* * *
The Corporation of the City of London reports that diminished lighting,
so far from increasing the dangers of the City streets, has reduced
them, the accidents during the past quarter being only 331 as compared
with 375 a year ago. However, a proposal that the lights shall now be
entirely extinguished with a view to reducing the casualties to _nil_
has not yet been adopted.
* * *
A gentleman has written to _The Globe_ to complain that at Charing Cross
Station there are signs printed in German indicating the whereabouts of
the booking-office, waiting-room, etc. We certainly think that, while we
are at war, these ought, so as to confuse the enemy, to point in wrong
directions.
* * *
Germany is now suffering from extreme cold, and the advice to German
housewives to cook potatoes in their jackets is presumably a measure of
humanity.
* * *
To Mr. WATT'S enquiry in the House as to how many German submarines had
been destroyed, Mr. CHURCHILL replied, "The German Government has made
no return." Let us hope that this is true also of a good few of the
submarines.
* * *
_Der Tag_, it is announced, is to be withdrawn from the Coliseum. They
could do with it, we believe, in Germany.
* * *
Theatrical folk will be interested to hear that in the Eastern Theatre
of War there has been furious fighting for the passes.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Turk._ "I SAY, YOU FELLOWS! DO YOU SEE THE OTHER ALLIES
ARE POOLING THEIR FUNDS? CAPITAL IDEA!"]
* * * * *
"The power of Great Britain and her Allies was increasing daily
in strength, whereas the power of her enemies was distinctly on
the wane. The existing situation had been brought about without
the vest resources of the Empire having yet been called in to
play."--_Daily Mail._
Are we to understand, that, so far, we have only called out the socks
and body-belts?
* * * * *
"There is but one survival among the historic shows of the
[Crystal] Palace--a portion of the Zoo. The monkeys are asking
one another 'What next?'
A meeting of the directors of the Crystal Palace Football Club
is to be summoned to decide on a course of action."
_The Evening News._
Without wishing to be needlessly offensive to either of these bodies, we
venture to suggest that they should combine their deliberations.
* * * * *
"If ... England and France keep the police of the sea with the
utmost vigilance, so that no copper at all can reach Germany and
Austria, the fate of both Empires seems certain."--_Times._
The land police must be guarded even more vigorously if "no copper at
all" is to slip over.
* * * * *