INFORMER. Well then, 'tis I who choose to be prosecutor; and thus all
public affairs fall within my province.
CHREMYLUS. I pity Athens for being in such vile clutches. But would you
not prefer to live quietly and free from all care and anxiety?
INFORMER. To do nothing is to live an animal's life.
CHREMYLUS. Thus you will not change your mode of life?
INFORMER. No, though they gave me Plutus himself and the _silphium_ of
Battus.[795]
CHREMYLUS (_to the Informer_). Come, quick, off with your cloak.
CARIO. Hi! friend! 'tis you they are speaking to.
CHREMYLUS. Off with your shoes.
CARIO. All this is addressed to you.
INFORMER. Very well! let one of you come near me, if he dares.
CARIO. I dare.
INFORMER. Alas! I am robbed of my clothes in full daylight.
CARIO. That's what comes of meddling with other folk's business and
living at their expense.
INFORMER (_to his witness_). You see what is happening; I call you to
witness.
CHREMYLUS. Look how the witness whom you brought is taking to his heels.
INFORMER. Great gods! I am all alone and they assault me.
CARIO. Shout away!
INFORMER. Oh! woe, woe is me!
CARIO. Give me that old ragged cloak, that I may dress out the informer.
JUST MAN. No, no; I have dedicated it to Plutus.
CARIO. And where would your offering be better bestowed than on the
shoulders of a rascal and a thief? To Plutus fine, rich cloaks should be
given.
JUST MAN. And what then shall be done with these shoes? Tell me.
CARIO. I will nail them to his brow as gifts are nailed to the trunks of
the wild olive.
INFORMER. I'm off, for you are the strongest, I own. But if I find
someone to join me, let him be as weak as he will, I will summon this
god, who thinks himself so strong, before the Court this very day, and
denounce him as manifestly guilty of overturning the democracy by his
will alone and without the consent of the Senate or the popular Assembly.
JUST MAN. Now that you are rigged out from head to foot with my old
clothes, hasten to the bath and stand there in the front row to warm
yourself better; 'tis the place I formerly had.
CHREMYLUS. Ah! the bath-man would grip you by the testicles and fling you
through the door; he would only need to see you to appraise you at your
true value.... But let us go in, friend, that you may address your
thanksgivings to the god.