SEVENTH WOMAN. Why, what else is the meaning of this chaplet?
PRAXAGORA. Get you hence! you would probably have played us this trick
also before the people.
SEVENTH WOMAN. Well! don't the men drink then in the Assembly?
PRAXAGORA. Now she's telling us the men drink!
SEVENTH WOMAN. Aye, by Artemis, and neat wine too. That's why their
decrees breathe of drunkenness and madness. And why libations, why so
many ceremonies, if wine plays no part in them? Besides, they abuse each
other like drunken men, and you can see the archers dragging more than
one uproarious drunkard out of the Agora.
PRAXAGORA. Go back to your seat, you are wandering.
SEVENTH WOMAN. Ah! I should have done better not to have muffled myself
in this beard; my throat's afire and I feel I shall die of thirst.
PRAXAGORA. Who else wishes to speak?
EIGHTH WOMAN. I do.
PRAXAGORA. Quick then, take the chaplet, for time's running short. Try to
speak worthily, let your language be truly manly, and lean on your staff
with dignity.
EIGHTH WOMAN. I had rather have seen one of your regular orators giving
you wise advice; but, as that is not to be, it behoves me to break
silence; I cannot, for my part indeed, allow the tavern-keepers to fill
up their wine-pits with water.[660] No, by the two goddesses....
PRAXAGORA. What? by the two goddesses![661] Wretched woman, where are
your senses?
EIGHTH WOMAN. Eh! what?... I have not asked you for a drink!
PRAXAGORA. No, but you want to pass for a man, and you swear by the two
goddesses. Otherwise 'twas very well.
EIGHTH WOMAN. Well then. By Apollo....
PRAXAGORA. Stop! All these details of language must be adjusted; else it
is quite useless to go to the Assembly.
SEVENTH WOMAN. Pass me the chaplet; I wish to speak again, for I think I
have got hold of something good. You women who are listening to me....
PRAXAGORA. Women again; why, wretched creature, 'tis men that you are
addressing.
SEVENTH WOMAN. 'Tis the fault of Epigonus;[662] I caught sight of him
over yonder, and I thought I was speaking to women.
PRAXAGORA. Come, withdraw and remain seated in future. I am going to take
this chaplet myself and speak in your name. May the gods grant success to
my plans!
My country is as dear to me as it is to you, and I groan, I am grieved at
all that is happening in it. Scarcely one in ten of those who rule it is
honest, and all the others are bad. If you appoint fresh chiefs, they
will do still worse. It is hard to correct your peevish humour; you fear
those who love you and throw yourselves at the feet of those who betray
you. There was a time when we had no assemblies, and then we all thought
Agyrrhius a dishonest man;[663] now they are established, he who gets
money thinks everything is as it should be, and he who does not, declares
all who sell their votes to be worthy of death.
FIRST WOMAN. By Aphrodité, that is well spoken.
PRAXAGORA. Why, wretched woman, you have actually called upon Aphrodité.
Oh! what a fine thing 'twould have been had you said that in the
Assembly!
FIRST WOMAN. I should never have done that!
PRAXAGORA. Well, mind you don't fall into the habit.--When we were
discussing the alliance,[664] it seemed as though it were all over with
Athens if it fell through. No sooner was it made than we were vexed and
angry, and the orator who had caused its adoption was compelled to seek
safety in flight.[665] Is there talk of equipping a fleet? The poor man
says, yes, but the rich citizen and the countryman say, no. You were
angered against the Corinthians and they with you; now they are well
disposed towards you, be so towards them. As a rule the Argives are dull,
but the Argive Hieronymus[666] is a distinguished chief. Herein lies a
spark of hope; but Thrasybulus is far from Athens[667] and you do not
recall him.
FIRST WOMAN. Oh! what a brilliant man!
PRAXAGORA. That's better! that's fitting applause.--Citizens, 'tis you
who are the cause of all this trouble. You vote yourselves salaries out
of the public funds and care only for your own personal interests; hence
the State limps along like Aesimus.[668] But if you hearken to me, you
will be saved. I assert that the direction of affairs must be handed over
to the women, for 'tis they who have charge and look after our
households.
SECOND WOMAN. Very good, very good, 'tis perfect! Say on, say on.
PRAXAGORA. They are worth more than you are, as I shall prove. First of
all they wash all their wool in warm water, according to the ancient
practice; you will never see them changing their method. Ah! if Athens
only acted thus, if it did not take delight in ceaseless innovations,
would not its happiness be assured? Then the women sit down to cook, as
they always did; they carry things on their head as was their wont; they
keep the Thesmophoria, as they have ever done; they knead their cakes
just as they used to; they make their husbands angry as they have always
done; they receive their lovers in their houses as was their constant
custom; they buy dainties as they always did; they love unmixed wine as
well as ever; they delight in being loved just as much as they always
have. Let us therefore hand Athens over to them without endless
discussions, without bothering ourselves about what they will do; let us
simply hand them over the power, remembering that they are mothers and
will therefore spare the blood of our soldiers; besides, who will know
better than a mother how to forward provisions to the front? Woman is
adept at getting money for herself and will not easily let herself be
deceived; she understands deceit too well herself. I omit a thousand
other advantages. Take my advice and you will live in perfect happiness.
FIRST WOMAN. How beautiful this is, my dearest Praxagora, how clever! But
where, pray, did you learn all these pretty things?
PRAXAGORA. When the countryfolk were seeking refuge in the city,[669] I
lived on the Pnyx with my husband, and there I learnt to speak through
listening to the orators.
FIRST WOMAN. Then, dear, 'tis not astonishing that you are so eloquent
and clever; henceforward you shall be our leader, so put your great ideas
into execution. But if Cephalus[670] belches forth insults against you,
what answer will you give him in the Assembly?
PRAXAGORA. I shall say that he drivels.
FIRST WOMAN. But all the world knows that.
PRAXAGORA. I shall furthermore say that he is a raving madman.
FIRST WOMAN. There's nobody who does not know it.
PRAXAGORA. That he, as excellent a statesman as he is, is a clumsy
tinker.[671]
FIRST WOMAN. And if the blear-eyed Neoclides[672] comes to insult you?