XANTHIAS. Then what witty thing shall I say?
DIONYSUS. Come, take courage; only ...
XANTHIAS. Only what?
DIONYSUS. ... don't start saying as you shift your package from shoulder
to shoulder, "Ah! that's a relief!"
XANTHIAS. May I not at least say, that unless I am relieved of this
cursed load I shall let wind?
DIONYSUS. Oh! for pity's sake, no! you don't want to make me spew.
XANTHIAS. What need then had I to take this luggage, if I must not copy
the porters that Phrynichus, Lycis and Amipsias[382] never fail to put on
the stage?
DIONYSUS. Do nothing of the kind. Whenever I chance to see one of these
stage tricks, I always leave the theatre feeling a good year older.
XANTHIAS. Oh! my poor back! you are broken and I am not allowed to make a
single joke.
DIONYSUS. Just mark the insolence of this Sybarite! I, Dionysus, the son
of a ... wine-jar,[383] I walk, I tire myself, and I set yonder rascal
upon an ass, that he may not have the burden of carrying his load.
XANTHIAS. But am I not carrying it?
DIONYSUS. No, since you are on your beast.
XANTHIAS. Nevertheless I am carrying this....
DIONYSUS. What?
XANTHIAS. ... and it is very heavy.
DIONYSUS. But this burden you carry is borne by the ass.
XANTHIAS. What I have here, 'tis certainly I who bear it, and not the
ass, no, by all the gods, most certainly not!
DIONYSUS. How can you claim to be carrying it, when you are carried?
XANTHIAS. That I can't say; but this shoulder is broken, anyhow.
DIONYSUS. Well then, since you say that the ass is no good to you, pick
her up in your turn and carry her.
XANTHIAS. What a pity I did not fight at sea;[384] I would baste your
ribs for that joke.
DIONYSUS. Dismount, you clown! Here is a door,[385] at which I want to
make my first stop. Hi! slave! hi! hi! slave!
HERACLES (_from inside the Temple_). Do you want to beat in the door? He
knocks like a Centaur.[386] Why, what's the matter?
DIONYSUS. Xanthias!
XANTHIAS. Well?
DIONYSUS. Did you notice?
XANTHIAS. What?
DIONYSUS. How I frightened him?
XANTHIAS. Bah! you're mad!
HERACLES. Ho, by Demeter! I cannot help laughing; it's no use biting my
lips, I must laugh.
DIONYSUS. Come out, friend; I have need of you.
HERACLES. Oh! 'tis enough to make a fellow hold his sides to see this
lion's-skin over a saffron robe![387] What does this mean? Buskins[388]
and a bludgeon! What connection have they? Where are you off to in this
rig?
DIONYSUS. When I went aboard Clisthenes[389]....
HERACLES. Did you fight?
DIONYSUS. We sank twelve or thirteen ships of the enemy.
HERACLES. You?
DIONYSUS. Aye, by Apollo!