CHAPTER XVI

THE SEED ENA PLANTED

Ena was glad when she saw Eileen wearing the orchid that Petro had

bought for her in the gorgeous new department at the Hands. Rags had

at the same time purchased some gardenias for Miss Rolls, she having

mentioned that the gardenia was her favourite flower. Both girls

tucked these trophies into the front of their coats, and wore them

home. Also, they wore them again for dinner, a far more conspicuous

compliment to the givers. Ena meant it to be taken as such, and

faintly hoped, in spite of the afternoon's failure, that the thing she

prayed for might happen that night. Perhaps Lord Raygan needed a

little more encouragement, for, after all, she was rich and he was

poor, and men did hesitate about proposing to heiresses--in novels.

Nothing did happen; but there was still time, for the guests were

staying on for a cotillon, and there was a meeting at which Lady

Raygan had faithfully promised to speak. It was a shame, however, that

the effect of the orchid as well as the gardenias should be wasted,

and the morning after their visit to the Hands, Ena made an

opportunity of speaking to Petro alone.

He was in his own "den," one of the smallest rooms in the house, meant

for a dressing-room, and opening off his bedroom. He had fitted it up

as a nondescript lair, and indulged in ribald mirth if Ena tried to

dignify it with the name of "study." All the pictures of the big

animals he hadn't killed were there--beautiful wild things he felt he

had the right to know socially, as he had never harmed them or their

most distant relatives. In an old glass-fronted, secretary bookcase of

mahogany, the first piece of "parlour furniture" his parents had ever

bought, were the dear books of Petro's boyhood and early youth, and

above, on the gray-papered wall, hung a portrait of mother, which her

son had had painted by an unfashionable artist as a "birthday present

from his affectionate self" at the age of sixteen. An ancient easy

chair and a queer old sofa still had the original, slippery, black

horsehair off which Petro and Ena had slid as children. Petro had

named the sofa "the whale," and the squat chair "the seal." Both

shiny, slippery, black things really did resemble sea monsters, and

had never lost for Petro their mysterious personality.

There were some cushions and a fire screen, the bead-and-wool flowers

of which mother had worked in early married life, and on the floor, in

front of the friendly wood fire which Petro loved, lay a rug which was

also her handiwork It was made of dresses her children had worn when

they were very, very little, and some of her own which Petro could

even now remember. Nobody save he, at Sea Gull Manor, cared for a

grate fire; or if mother would have liked one, instead of a

handwrought bronze radiator half hidden in the wall, she dared not say

so. But she came and sat in Petro's den sometimes, crocheting in the

old easy chair, when he was self indulgent enough to have a fire of

ships' logs. The rose and gold and violet flames of the driftwood lit

up for him the secret way to Dreamland and the country of Romance.

What it did for mother, she did not say; but as her fingers moved,

regularly as the ticking of a clock, her eyes would wander over the

old furniture she had loved and back to the fire, as if she were

trying to call up her own past and her son's future.

This morning Petro was not in a good mood, for he had been reading in

the newspaper an interview with him which he hadn't given. It was all

about the "Start in Life Fund," and sounded as if he were boasting,

not only of the idea, but of the way in which he meant to carry it

out. Nobody likes to be made to appear a conceited bounder when his

intentions are as modest as those of a hermit crab, and a hundred

times more benevolent.

Therefore, when Ena came, using as an excuse a dire need of notepaper,

and stopped to dawdle, lighting one of his cigarettes, Petro felt an

urgent desire to be cross. She had on some perfume which he hated, and

a split skirt, and was altogether so inconvenient and uncongenial that

disagreeable things to say sat on the end of his tongue. He bit them

back, however, for he knew he should be sorry afterward if he were a

beast.

"You look as if you'd like to snap my head off," said Ena, fumbling

among his cigarettes.

"So I would. But I won't," said he. "It isn't you I mind. It's only

something that Raygan would call bally rot in the paper."

"Something about us?" Ena was alert in a moment.

"Only about me."

"Is _that_ all! You're so silly about having things in the paper!

Almost anything's better than nothing, I feel, as long as they don't

go raking up father's and mother's past. Oh, I know you think their

past's the best thing about them. Let's not argue. Does it say again

that you're engaged to Eileen?"

"No, thank heaven. I don't want to punch heads in her defence."

His sister laughed, and tried to make herself comfortable by putting

her feet up on the slippery whale. The split green cloth skirt fell

apart and showed a pink ankle clad in a tight-fitting film of green

silk stocking. Ena gazed at it appreciatively and liked the look of

her foot in a high-heeled green suède shoe with a gold buckle.

"My private opinion is that dear little Eileen was tickled to death by

the mistake. The only thing she didn't like about it was--its _being_

a mistake."

"If you talk like that, I'll wish the whale was Jonah's," said Petro.

"She does love you!" Ena got out hurriedly, fearing to be stopped, or

caught up in the surprisingly strong arms of Petro, and gently set

down on the wrong side of the door. "She does! She does! I've thought

so a long time. Now I know it. I mustn't tell you how."

"You oughtn't to tell me how. It isn't true and it isn't kind--to

either of us. I hate hearing such darned nonsense about a girl who

likes me as a friend. And she'd be mad as the dickens if she could

hear."

"Perhaps she'd be mad," Ena admitted, "because it _is_ true. If it

weren't she'd only laugh. You're a simple Simon not to see. Everybody

else with eyes does see. And they'll all be sorry for her if you don't

speak."

"Any one would think I was a dog and she was a bone," growled Petro.

"Speak, indeed! I wish you'd mind your own business, Ena."

"I am minding it as hard as I can," said his sister, "and you ought to

thank me for taking an interest in yours, too. Don't you _like_ poor

little Lady Eileen?"

"Very much; same way she likes me. We're good chums."

"If you don't believe what I say, Petro, there's a splendid way of

finding out. Ask her."

"See here, my dear girl, haven't you got anything better to do this

morning than to loll all over my sofa and talk drivel when I want to

write a letter blowing up somebody? I felt a fool when you came in.

Now you've made me feel a double-dyed idiot. Kindly go away and dig a

hole in the ground with yourself."

Ena went. But she felt that, despite discouragement, she had already

dug a tiny, tiny hole in very hard ground, not for herself, but for a

little seed which might perhaps send out its shoots later.

It did not precisely do that; but as the ground raked over was Petro's

heart, the seed his sister had left made him uncomfortable. It burned

and stung and felt alive, and something had to be done about it.

Of course Ena was wrong. He was the last fellow in the world a girl

could care for. He had learned that to his sorrow. A girl couldn't

even like him. There was something about him that bored her nearly to

death as soon as she began to know him fairly well, and made her want

to bolt. He was as sure, he told himself, of the exact nature of nice

little Lady Eileen's feeling for him as of his for her. Nevertheless,

that night at a dance, when he and she (for the best of reasons, they

didn't know how) were sitting out the tango, he found himself becoming

confidential.

This was strange, for Petro had one of his father's characteristics if

no other--he did not confide things in people. Peter senior kept his

own secrets because it was wise to keep them. Peter junior kept his

partly because he thought they would bore every one save himself. So

even where the two were alike, they were miles apart. For some vague

reason, however--which, if he had stopped to define it, would have

convinced him that he was disgustingly conceited--Petro was moved that

night, in a new-fashioned conservatory resembling a jungle, to tell

Lady Eileen one or two things about himself.

How it started he was not quite sure, but with some awkwardness he had

tried to lead up to the subject, and suddenly Eileen had begun to help

him out.

"I used to think a man would have to know a lot about a girl," he

said, "before he could be sure she was the sort he could fall in love

with. I thought love at first sight wouldn't be love at all, but only

infatuation. Now I see that I didn't know what I was talking about. It

isn't a question of whether you _could_ love her. You've just got to.

You can't do anything else. It's like seven devils or seven angels

entering into and possessing you. There they are before you know

what's happened. Afterward, when you find out what's struck you, maybe

it's too late. Or maybe there'd never have been any hope, anyhow."

"'While there's life, there's hope,'" quoted Eileen.

"But what if life's parted you from her?"

"I wouldn't let it, if I were a man. I wouldn't allow the girl to go

out of my life. It doesn't sound a _strong_ thing to do."

"It might be, though, in some circumstances. For instance, if a girl

showed you very plainly she couldn't be bothered with you, it would be

weak to run after her, wouldn't it?"

"I wonder," said Eileen, "if a man's a good judge of why a girl does

things that she does? Of course, I don't _know_ much. But I feel he

mightn't be. It's so difficult for girls and men to understand each

other, really. Now there's my brother Rags and our cousin Pobbles--I

mean, Portia. Pobbles is her nickname. You know we're great on the

most endlessly quaint nicknames in our family. She's quite a distant

cousin of ours, otherwise she wouldn't have such lots of money as she

has. _We're_ church mice. We'd be church worms if there were any! But

Rags was in love with Pobbles for years, and she wouldn't believe it.

She thought, because she's not exactly pretty, it must be her money he

wanted. They never understood each other a bit. You mustn't say

anything about this, and I won't say anything about what you tell

_me_. You _will_ tell me about the girl, won't you? Maybe I can help.

You see, though I don't know so very much about men yet--except

Rags--I know a whole lot about girls."

"There isn't much to tell," said Petro. "I met a girl in rather a

queer way--sort of romantic, it seemed to me. And the minute I saw her

she stood out quite different from any one else I'd ever seen, like a

red rose in a garden of pale-pink ones. I couldn't get her face out of

my mind, or her voice out of my ears. She was like my idea of a dryad.

It seemed she might turn into a tree if a man looked at her too long.

But I didn't know I was in love. I thought she just appealed to me,

fascinated me somehow or other. And I wanted to do things for her all

the time. I was always thinking of some excuse to be where she was. I

was looking forward to doing a lot more things--I suppose it was only

selfishness, because I wanted to make her like me, but I didn't

realize that till after she was gone."

"Gone?" Eileen encouraged him.

"Yes. She didn't want me to do those things I'd been planning for her.

She wouldn't have what I could do, or me, at any price."

"Did you--had you--told her you _cared_?"

"Great Scott! no. I hadn't got nearly so far as that. I told her I

hoped to see her again, that if there was something I could do to

help, I--but she wasn't taking any. She seemed friendly and kind

before that, which made it worse when she turned me down so hard. I

suppose she hadn't minded much at first, but the more she saw of me

the more she couldn't stand for the shape of my nose or the way I

talked, maybe. She just got to feel that the sight of me hanging

around would poison New York for her, and she intimated that her

health would be better if I kept at the other end of the city. You

wouldn't have had me continue to butt in, would you?"

"I don't know. What happened then?"

"Oh, she went away."

"You let her go?"

"What else could I do?"

"You could have found out where she went in case she changed her mind.

But perhaps you did find out?"

"No. For she didn't seem like the kind of girl who would change her

mind about a kind of fellow like me. Besides, I was sort of stunned by

the difference in her manner just at the moment. When I came to

myself--I mean, about wondering if I could have done anything better,

and realizing what a terrible lot I cared, she was gone. Then I hoped

Ena would hear from her. I think she promised to write. But it appears

that she never did so."

"Is she in New York still?"

"I wish to heaven I knew!"

"Couldn't you find out?"

"I might, if I wanted to be a cad."

"Why--what do you mean?"

"I dare say a private detective would undertake the job. Sometimes

I've been tempted--yet no, I don't believe I ever did come near to

playing the game as low down as that."

"But it might be for her good---"

"That's the way I argued with myself. I almost got myself convinced

sometimes. But I knew in my heart it was only sophistry. You see, it

isn't as if she would let me do anything for her, even if she wanted

anything done, which I've no particular reason to suppose she does.

She's English, and a stranger over here, but she told me--when we were

friends--that she had letters of introduction to good people and that

she'd plenty of money till they found her a job. I can't bear to think

of her needing a 'job' when I--but I'm helpless! No doubt she's all

right, and getting along like a house on fire. She was the sort of

girl who would. Or maybe she's engaged by this time to some chap worth

ten of me. But I can't forget. I think of her by day, and I dream of

her by night."

"What do you see her doing in your dreams?" Eileen asked in a new

tone of voice. Not more interested, for she had shown deep interest

before, but with a quaver of excited eagerness.

"Dreams go by contraries, luckily," said Peter, "otherwise I should

worry. I always see her in some kind of trouble. If it isn't one

darned thing it's another. And I look for her by day when I'm up in

town. I think, what if I should see her face framed in some car

window? This afternoon I even looked for her in our store--though

feeling to me the way she did, it would be the _last_ place where

she'd go to spend a cent, if she associated the name of Rolls with

mine. I bet she'd rather go without a cloak on a cold day than buy it

there!"

"Our dance, Lady Eileen," said another man, who had tracked a missing

partner through the tropical jungle.

Eileen rose reluctantly, but graciously, throwing Petro a good-bye

look. There was a sympathetic, understanding smile on her pleasant,

freckled face which seemed to say: "Don't give up. You may find her

yet. And girls _do_ change their minds about men. Anyhow, I'm glad

we've had this talk."

She was glad, though she was sad, too--just a little sad. It would

pass, she knew, for she had not let herself go far. In spite of all

that Ena had said, it had never felt true that Peter cared for her.

She could have loved him, and been happy with him, and have made him

happy, she thought, but since he didn't want her, she must set herself

to work hard not to want him. She must take her mind off the little

deep-down, bruised hurt in her heart by thinking of a way in which she

could make him happy--a way in which, by and by, he might recognize

her handiwork and send her his thanks across the sea.

"I should like him to know I did it," she said to herself. "And then

through all his life he would have to remember me because of his

happiness, which, without me, he might have missed."

Of course, Petro had mentioned no name, and Eileen had asked no

questions. If it had not been for Raygan's revelation she might not

have guessed; but now she did guess, and was almost sure. It seemed to

her that a girl who could have Petro's friendship and then drop it

like a hot chestnut didn't deserve him for a friend, much less a

lover. But there must have been some reason. It wouldn't have been

human nature, to put things on their lowest level, for a girl in Miss

Child's position to "turn down" a young man in Peter Rolls's for a

mere whim.

Could Ena have done something to put them apart? Eileen wondered. It

would--she had to admit--be like Ena. And if Ena had been treacherous

or hateful, then it would be a sort of poetical justice if she lost

Raygan through making her brother lose his dryad. Even now Eileen did

not know what Rags would do; and since their day at the Hands, he had

seemed somehow "off" the affair with Ena. But whatever happened in the

end--which, one way or the other, must come soon--between Ena and

Raygan, Peter mustn't lose the Lady in the Moon because of a stupid

promise exacted and made to get his sister out of some scrape.

Eileen wouldn't break the promise, because a promise was one of the

few things she and her brother Rags had never broken. Raygan wouldn't

release her, even if she begged him to do so, but there might be

another way--a way which might lead Petro straight to the Lady in the

Moon, if he were really in earnest about finding her. That was the

clever part of the inspiration which suddenly came to Eileen that same

night after starting up from a dream which was "endlessly quaint."

"I'll do it when I say good-bye to Mrs. Rolls," she told herself. And

the idea seemed to her so original, so filled with possibilities of

romance, that it was as soothing to the bruise in her heart as an

application of Peter Rolls's Balm of Gilead.

She guessed that he had put aside his reserve and told her about the

"dryad girl" because Ena had put him up to think that she--Eileen--had

"begun to care." The mortifying part was that it had been--almost

true. But Eileen wasn't going to mind. She was going to say to

herself, if ever the pain came back: "If I can do this for him,

surely, when he knows, he'll be glad he told me, and glad that I cared

enough to help."

It was only next morning, when the world showed its practical side,

that she realized how seldom in real life romances can be worked out

to a happy ending--or, at all events, the kind of happy ending the

people concerned are striving after.

"I'll do my best, though," she reiterated, "for Petro's sake and for

mine."

For her the lost dryad was but a shadowy figure in the background,

necessary to the picture, perhaps, yet not of poignant, personal

interest. It was only of Petro she thought.

Winnie Childs, the Shop Girl · 第 16 / 27 章