"Wanted, Organist. Small country church. Salary £20. Good lodgings.
(Could be held with post of Milker on Manor Farm; permanent work;
Sundays free; ample salary.)"--_Church Times._
* * * * *
"The Grimsby trawler Silurian has towed Sir George Grahame, Minister
Plenipotentiary in Paris, to be his Majesty's Ambassador Extraordinary
and Plenipotentiary to the King of the Belgians."--_Provincial Paper._
We really think the Government might have provided him with a torpedo-boat.
* * * * *
"The one thing which the Cabinet does not intend to do is to authorise
the proclamation of marital law. It would engage far too many troops."
--_Provincial Paper._
The Irish girls are _so_ attractive.
* * * * *
"A friend of mine bought from a bookseller who was also, oddly enough,
a bibliophile himself, a copy of Arnold's very rare book, _The Strayed
Revetter_, by A. He gave 6d. It is worth £5."--_Book Post._
Surely more than that!
* * * * *
"An Ipswichomnibus pushed its bonnet through the window of a millinery
shop."--_Daily Paper._
This intelligent animal (believed to be the female of the Brontosaurus) was
probably seeking a change of headgear.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Tripper._ "I'VE A BLOOMIN' GOOD MIND TO REPORT YOU FOR
PROFITEERING."
_Old Salt._ "WHAT YER TALKIN' ABOUT?"
_Tripper._ "WELL, THEM SHRIMPS I BOUGHT OFF YOU. ONE OF EM'S GOT ONLY ONE
EYE."]
* * * * *