There was a young singer whose moans
Struck a chill to her auditors' bones;
So she had to explain
That she wasn't in pain,
But was trying to sing quarter-tones.
There once was a basso, a swain
Who came from the rolling Ukraine;
He could sing double D
From breakfast till tea
Without any symptom of strain.
There was a benevolent peer
Who wished to make Art less severe,
So he learned the Jazz drum
And bids fair to become
The black man's most terrible fear.
There once was a critic whose bane
Was his dread of a style that was plain,
So, resolved to refresh us,
He strove to be precious,
But sank to the nether inane.
* * * * *
"AMATEUR SNOOKER POOL CHAMPIONSHIP: S.H. FRY DEFLATED."--_Provincial
Paper._
It was noticed even during the Billiard competition that he never really
got the wind up.
* * * * *
"The chief obstacle to the development of water-power is usually the
question of finance, and if the scheme will not hold water from that
point of view it is not likely to float."--_Electrical Review._
And if it holds too much water it is certain to sink.
* * * * *
[Illustration: MORE ADVENTURES OF A POST-WAR SPORTSMAN.
_Irishman_ (_discussing "roarer" recently purchased by P.-W.S._). "VERY
WELL KNOWN, SHE WAS, WID THE WARD UNION STAG HOUNDS. THE BOYS USED TO CALL
HER 'THE WIDDA,' FOR WHY THEY SAID YE COULD ALWAYS HEAR HER SOBBIN' AFTHER
THE DEER DEPARTED."]
* * * * *