_House of Commons, Monday, September 4._--What happened to-night
in connection with the Blameless BARTLEY, Bart., should have useful
effect in checking the tendencies of the censorious. Having settled
business arrangements by moving Resolution, Mr. G. skipped out of
House to pack up for his journey to Scotland. No boy at end of term
more eager for holiday; none more thoroughly earned. In heat of
discussion going forward on details of Resolution Mr. G.'s departure
not generally noticed. Only one faithful eye--or, to be precise, a
couple--followed his passage behind SPEAKER'S chair. Eyes dimmed with
tears. For months, from early February to these young September days,
BARTLEY, Bart., has sat opposite Mr. G., has, so to speak, lived in
his large and magnificent eye. Now association about to be dissevered
by withdrawal of the stately presence from Treasury Bench. And only
the other day he had referred to BARTLEY as "the Hon. Baronet"!
For a while BARTLEY, Bart., sat silent and sorrowing. If it had been
the custom to wear sackcloth on the Opposition benches, and any ashes
had been handy, he would undoubtedly have endeavoured to discover what
secret consolation their use conveys. Nothing of the kind to be had
on the premises. After brooding for a while, he up and spoke. "Where's
the PRIME MINISTER?" he cried aloud. House hardly recognised in this
wailing voice the stern accents with which it is familiar from the
same quarter. "It is not proper that the House should sit without the
PRIME MINISTER."
SQUIRE OF MALWOOD (after all a kind-hearted man, quick to sympathy)
endeavoured to comfort the Bereaved. "Not proper," he exclaimed, "for
House to sit without presence of PRIME MINISTER! Why, for six years we
had no Prime Minister here."
"That's all very well, but," as BARTLEY, still weeping for the PREMIER
and not to be comforted, subsequently observed to Admiral FIELD, "you
can't mend a broken heart by a quip." HANBURY and TOMMY BOWLES did
their best to soothe him; walked him up and down the Terrace; gave him
a cup of tea, a bottle of smelling salts, and a cabinet portrait
of Mr. G. But it was only late at night, when House had got into
Committee, he so far recovered as to move to reduce a vote by L100,
in order to plead for some amelioration of the lot of the Treasury
Valuer.
_Business done._--Arrangements completed for Autumn Session.
[Illustration: LAST WEEK.
_Possible but improbable Scene in the Upper House, which perhaps Mr.
J-hn B-rns, M.P., may "regret he did not see._"]
_House of Lords, Tuesday._--Remember one night in years gone by,
whilst HARTINGTON was still with us in the Commons, he interrupted
one of his own speeches by a portentous yawn. Complimented him on the
feat; few men, I said, would have the pluck to do it; might yawn at
other people's speeches, but never at their own.
"Ah, TOBY," said COUNTY GUY, "you don't know how dem'd dull the speech
was. You only had to listen to some of it. I had to deliver it all."
Thought of this to-night listening to old friend in Lords, now
scarcely disguised as Duke of DEVONSHIRE. Spoke for nearly two hours.
Those who read it will find speech admirable; one of the best, most
weighty, indictments of Home Rule and the tactics that have brought it
into position of Ministerial measure. But alack! for those who heard
it, or, at least, sat through the two hours; not many, all told; an
hour enough for THE MACULLUM MORE; other Peers on both sides of House
folded their tents like the Arab, and as silently stole away. The
MARKISS gallantly kept his place, sitting for some time with closed
eyes, the better to concentrate his attention. PRINCE ARTHUR and JOEY
C.--lovely in the Commons, in the Lords not divided--stood sturdily
on either side of the Throne. "The Lion and the Unicorn supporting the
Crown," said ROSEBERY, glancing across at them.
[Illustration: Supporting the Crown.]
For the ladies in the gallery, mothers and daughters, DEVONSHIRE not
so attractive a _parti_ as was HARTINGTON. Still, he is a pillar of
the Union, a brand snatched from the burning pile to which the wicked
hand of Mr. G. applied the traitrous torch. So they sat and
listened--half an hour, three-quarters of an hour, an hour. Then was
heard the light rustle of dainty dresses; doors softly opened along
the Gallery; for a moment a fair figure stood framed in it, with
guilty glance around to see if she was observed; then, with winning
"back-in-five-minutes" look on innocent face, she hastily stepped out.
[Illustration: The Devonshire Yawn.]
The Duke saw none of these things nor cared for them. He had a duty
to perform, and long before OLD MORALITY was heard of, the CAVENDISHES
did their duty. He plodded on through the melancholy night; stolidly
turning over the pages of his notes; stubbornly repressing a growing
tendency to yawn; catching his voice up when it wearily sank to the
level of his boots; making most pathetic effort to keep it going.
Usually it fell away at the end of the third or fourth sentence, to be
pulled up with harsh jerk at commencement of one that followed. A
good man struggling with the adversity of having to make a speech on
a topic harried to death in the other House through course of over
eighty days.
"Yes," said the Member for Sark, waking up from gentle slumber
indulged in in corner seat at end of Gallery; "but why didn't he halve
his adversity? If he'd been content with an hour we should all have
been grateful, and he would have been spared a moiety of his anguish."
_Business done._--Second Reading of Home-Rule Bill moved in House of
Lords.
_Thursday._--Again a crowded assembly in Lords to-night to hear its
most brilliant Member. The Bishops, in great force, clustered, a group
of fluttering white lawn, on right of Woolsack. "The white flower of
a blameless Parliamentary life," the MARKISS says of them. Not an inch
of red benches visible on Opposition side. Even Ministerial benches
full, though, as was made clear in course of debate, not all who sit
there are Ministerialists. ROSEBERY, looking more boyish than ever,
sat amid the elders on Front Bench; makes no sign of intention
to follow SELBORNE; takes no note nor betrays other evidence of
uneasiness. SELBORNE preaches for hour and half. Understood to be
sermon worthy of his fame; we Commoners in gallery over bar could hear
only fragmentary portions of sentences. Reported that SELBORNE had
lost his notes; Member for Sark recognises most kindly interposition
of Providence.
"If he speaks for hour and half with only recollection of his notes
where would he have been if he had them?" Must get WEIR to put that
conundrum to CHANCELLOR of the Exchequer.
Grateful to ROSEBERY, since at least we can hear him, though he, too,
now and then falls into habit of dropping end of sentence. This
the less excusable, since none of them are heavy. A clever speech,
scarcely obscuring what seems to be difficult position. "Dancing among
the eggs," is BALFOUR OF BURGHLEY'S commentary. Of all listeners in
the brilliant throng none so attentive as the MARKISS. Seems, on the
whole, to like speech better than does SPENCER.
"Reminds me, TOBY," MARKISS says, "of what LOVELACE wrote to LUCASTA,
'on going to the wars.' How does it run?
I could not love Home Rule so much
Loved I not GLADSTONE more."
In the Commons pegging away at estimates; occasional explosions;
JOSEPH, popping in from Lords, said a few genial words just to keep
matters going, and disappeared again. Came back after midnight in time
to have a round with SQUIRE OF MALWOOD.
Uneasy feeling prevalent consequent on announcement made early in
sitting that charwoman employed in service of House has died of
cholera. This regarded as being exceedingly inconsiderate. Questions
usually every day about cholera at Grimsby and Hull. That all very
well; an incident possible to regard with philosophical mind. But
cholera in our own kitchen quite another sort of microbe.
"I'm a family man," said COBB. "It's no use denying it, and I will not
attempt it. Was thinking of staying to see this out; begin to think
the Session unduly prolonged. In short, if I may quote an old proverb
adapted to the occasion, I would say, When cholera comes in by the
window COBB goes out by the door." _Business done._--Third night
Home-Rule debate in Lords. Supply in Commons.
[Illustration: "Finished."]
_Saturday_, 1 A.M.--All up with Little Bill-ee. His worst fears are
realised. Whilst Captain WILLYUM: has been having a quiet, restful
time among the heather, Guzzling BOB and Gorging HARTY have worked
their wicked will on the Innocent. Snickersees have been drawn; blows
have been dealt; the hunger of Ulster has been satisfied; Little
Bill-ee has been killed and eaten.
"Just so," said the LORD CHANCELLOR from behind his wig; "a meal
eagerly partaken of. Now we've nothing to do but to wait awhile, and
see how it agrees with them. You remember, TOBY, the letters engraved
on the tomb of her late husband by the sorrowing widow in Ohio?