_Utterly Unknown Novelist._ Then I am afraid that my last
three-volumed work of fiction, in spite of the cordial way in which it
was reviewed by my brother-in-law in the _Weekly Dotard_, my maternal
uncle in the _Literary Spy_, and a few other relatives on the daily
press, has not upon the whole been a decided success?
_Publisher._ Well, it's useless to conceal the fact, that from a
mere base material point of view, the publication of _The Boiling of
Benjamin_ has not quite answered our expectations. In fact, we have
lost a couple of thousand pounds over it. But (_more cheerfully_) what
of that? It is a pleasure to lose money over introducing good work to
the public; a positive privilege to be sacrificed on such an altar as
_The Boiling of Benjamin_. So say no more on _that_ head!
_U. U. Novelist (enthusiastically)._ Good and generous man! But I
will say more! You recollect that the terms you made with me were a
thousand pounds down, and a hundred pounds a month for life or until
the copyright expired?
_Publisher (groaning slightly)._ Oh, yes! I remember it very well.
_U. U. Novelist._ And that I have already received cheques for one
thousand and five hundred pounds, without your mentioning a word about
the loss you have been nobly and silently enduring?
_Publisher._ An agreement's an agreement, and you are only
experiencing one result of the beneficial system of royalties.
_U. U. Novelist._ Quite so! But if there is to be division of
profits, there should be division of losses as well. So (_taking out
chequebook, and hurriedly writing in it_) there! Not a word of thanks!
It's merely repaying you the fifteen hundred I've received, with
another thousand to compensate you for the loss on production.
_Publisher (melted into tears)._ Oh, thanks, thanks! You have averted
ruin from my starving little ones! And if you _should_ wish to bring
out any other work of ----. He is gone, to escape my gratitude!
(_Takes up cheque._) By far the best thing he ever wrote!
(_Curtain._)
* * * * *
POLITICAL PARALLEL.--Mr. CHAMBERLAIN declared the other day the
Government were in a hole. Was it in reference to this that the Duke
of ARGYLL spoke in the Lords of Lord ROSEBERY'S "Pitt"?
* * * * *