BORN OLD AND RICH

We have been remiss in not proposing a remedy for our present social and

economic condition. Looking backward, we see this. The scheme may not be

practical, any more than the Utopian plans that have been put forward,

but it is radical and interesting, and requires, as the other schemes do,

a total change in human nature (which may be a good thing to bring

about), and a general recasting of the conditions of life. This is and

should be no objection to a socialistic scheme. Surface measures will not

avail. The suggestion for a minor alleviation of inequality, which seems

to have been acted on, namely, that women should propose, has not had the

desired effect if it is true, as reported, that the eligible young men

are taking to the woods. The workings of such a measure are as impossible

to predict in advance as the operation of the McKinley tariff. It might

be well to legislate that people should be born equal (including equal

privileges of the sexes), but the practical difficulty is to keep them

equal. Life is wrong somehow. Some are born rich and some are born poor,

and this inequality makes misery, and then some lose their possessions,

which others get hold of, and that makes more misery. We can put our

fingers on the two great evils of life as it now is: the first is

poverty; and the second is infirmity, which is the accompaniment of

increasing years. Poverty, which is only the unequal distribution of

things desired, makes strife, and is the opportunity of lawyers; and

infirmity is the excuse for doctors. Think what the world would be

without lawyers and doctors!

We are all born young, and most of us are born poor. Youth is delightful,

but we are always getting away from it. How different it would be if we

were always going towards it! Poverty is unpleasant, and the great

struggle of life is to get rid of it; but it is the common fortune that

in proportion as wealth is attained the capacity of enjoying it departs.

It seems, therefore, that our life is wrong end first. The remedy

suggested is that men should be born rich and old. Instead of the

necessity of making a fortune, which is of less and less value as death

approaches, we should have only the privilege of spending it, and it

would have its natural end in the cradle, in which we should be rocked

into eternal sleep. Born old, one would, of course, inherit experience,

so that wealth could be made to contribute to happiness, and each day,

instead of lessening the natural powers and increasing infirmities, would

bring new vigor and capacity of enjoyment. It would be going from winter

to autumn, from autumn to summer, from summer to spring. The joy of a

life without care as to ways and means, and every morning refitted with

the pulsations of increasing youth, it is almost impossible to imagine.

Of course this scheme has difficulties on the face of it. The allotting

of the measure of wealth would not be difficult to the socialists,

because they would insist that every person should be born with an equal

amount of property. What this should be would depend upon the length of

life; and how should this be arrived at? The insurance companies might

agree, but no one else would admit that he belongs in the average.

Naturally the Biblical limit of threescore and ten suggests itself; but

human nature is very queer. With the plain fact before them that the

average life of man is less than thirty-four years, few would be willing,

if the choice were offered, to compromise on seventy. Everybody has a

hope of going beyond that, so that if seventy were proposed as the year

at birth, there would no doubt be as much dissatisfaction as there is at

the present loose arrangement. Science would step in, and demonstrate

that there is no reason why, with proper care of the system, it should

not run a hundred years. It is improbable, then, that the majority could

be induced to vote for the limit of seventy years, or to exchange the

exciting uncertainty of adding a little to the period which must be

accompanied by the weight of the grasshopper, for the certainty of only

seventy years in this much-abused world.

But suppose a limit to be agreed on, and the rich old man and the rich

old woman (never now too old to marry) to start on their career towards

youth and poverty. The imagination kindles at the idea. The money would

hold out just as long as life lasted, and though it would all be going

downhill, as it were, what a charming descent, without struggle, and with

only the lessening infirmities that belong to decreasing age! There would

be no second childhood, only the innocence and elasticity of the first.

It all seems very fair, but we must not forget that this is a mortal

world, and that it is liable to various accidents. Who, for instance,

could be sure that he would grow young gracefully? There would be the

constant need of fighting the hot tempers and impulses of youth, growing

more and more instead of less and less unreasonable. And then, how many

would reach youth? More than half, of course, would be cut off in their

prime, and be more and more liable to go as they fell back into the

pitfalls and errors of childhood. Would people grow young together even

as harmoniously as they grow old together? It would be a pretty sight,

that of the few who descended into the cradle together, but this

inversion of life would not escape the woes of mortality. And there are

other considerations, unless it should turn out that a universal tax on

land should absolutely change human nature. There are some who would be

as idle and spendthrift going towards youth as they now are going away

from it, and perhaps more, so that half the race on coming to immaturity

would be in child asylums. And then others who would be stingy and greedy

and avaricious, and not properly spend their allotted fortune. And we

should have the anomaly, which is so distasteful to the reformer now, of

rich babies. A few babies inordinately rich, and the rest in asylums.

Still, the plan has more to recommend it than most others for removing

poverty and equalizing conditions. We should all start rich, and the

dying off of those who would never attain youth would amply provide

fortunes for those born old. Crime would be less also; for while there

would, doubtless, be some old sinners, the criminal class, which is very

largely under thirty, would be much smaller than it is now. Juvenile

depravity would proportionally disappear, as not more people would reach

non-age than now reach over-age. And the great advantage of the scheme,

one that would indeed transform the world, is that women would always be

growing younger.

The Complete Essays of Charles Dudley Warner · 第 66 / 122 题