"Pale dreams arise, swift heart-beats yearn,
Up, up, some ecstasy to learn!
The spirit dares not speak, afar
Youth lures its fellow, like a star."
ANON.
Fanny was a real daughter of joy. The name is given to many who in no
sense of the word near its meaning. To Fanny, to be alive was to laugh;
she had a nature which shook aside the degradation of her profession
much as a small London sparrow will shake the filthy water of the
gutters from off his sky-plumed wings. She brought such an atmosphere of
sunshine and laughter into Joan's life that the other girl grew to lean
on it. The friendship between them ripened very quickly; on Fanny's side
it amounted almost to love. Who knows what starvation of the heart side
of her went to build up all that she felt for Joan? Through the dreary
days that followed, and they sapped in passing at Joan's health and
courage, Fanny was nearly always at hand, with fresh flowers for the
attic, with tempting fruit for Joan to eat in place of the supper which
night after night she rejected. Fanny would sometimes be away for weeks
at a time. She still followed her profession as an actress, Mrs. Carew
would tell Joan, and on those occasions Joan missed her intolerably. But
Fanny herself never spoke about her life, and Joan never questioned her.
Autumn faded into winter; winter blew itself out in a cold and
boisterous March, and spring crept back to London. Nowhere else in the
world does she come so suddenly, or catch at your heart with the same
sense of soft joy. You meet her, she catches you unawares, so to say,
with your winter clothes on.
"What is this?" she whispers, blowing against your cheeks. "Surely you
have forgotten my birthday, or you would never have come out in those
drab old clothes."
Then with a little shake of her skirts she is gone, and your eyes are
opened to the fact that the trees have put forth brave green buds, and
that yellow crocuses and white snowdrops are dancing and curtseying to
you from odd corners of the Park.
Joan's life at the _Evening Herald_ Office, once the first novelty had
worn off, and because it was spring outside, became very monotonous and
very tiring. She nearly always ended the days conscious of a ridiculous
desire to cry at everything. Because the buses were crowded, because the
supper was greasy and unappetizing, or because Fanny was not at home to
welcome her.
There was one afternoon in particular, on a hot, airless day in June,
when Joan reached the last point of her endurance. Everything had
combined to make the office unendurable. One of Mr. Strangman's most
agitated moods held him. Early in the morning he had indulged in a wordy
argument with Chester, the Literary Page editor, on the question of
whether or not the telephone was to be used by the office boys to 'phone
telegrams through to the post office. It was a custom just founded by
Strangman and it saved a certain amount of time, but Chester--a thin,
over-worked, intellectual-ridden gentleman, was driven nearly mad by
occult messages, such as the following:
"Hulloa, hulloa, is that telegrams? Take a message please for the
_Evening Herald_. What, can't hear? That's your fault, I am shouting and
my mouth is near the tube. Look alive, miss. Listening? Well: to Davids.
D for daddy, a for apples, v for varnish, i for I. I said I for i! Got
it now? D for daddy again," and so on.
"The truth of it is," said Mr. Chester, during a pause in one of these
wordy tussles, "I, or that telephone, will have to go, Strangman. I
cannot work with it going on."
"My dear fellow"--Strangman was all agitation at once--"what is to be
done? The messages must go and I must hear them sent or the boys would
put in wrong words. I am sure it is not any pleasanter for me than it is
for you; I have also got to work."
"T for Tommy, I keep telling you--Tommy, Tommy," the lad at the 'phone
shrieked triumphantly.
Mr. Chester threw down his papers, pushed back his chair, and rose,
tragic purpose on his face.
"It is not to be borne," he ejaculated.
"Oh, very well," stuttered Mr. Strangman, "that means, I suppose, that I
shall have to do the 'phoning myself. Here, boy, get out, give me that."
And thereupon the message started over again, but this time breathed in
Mr. Strangman's powerful whisper.
He certainly seemed to be able to manipulate it with less noise, only he
soon wearied of the effort, and future wires were deputed to Joan. So,
in addition to her other tasks, she had had the peculiarly irritating
one of trying to induce attention into post office telephone girls.
Then, too, Mr. Strangman had not felt in the mood to dictate letters,
with the result that at a quarter to six seven of them had to be altered
and retyped. Joan was still sitting at her machine in a corner of the
hot, noisy office, beating out: "Dear Sir, In answer to yours, etc.,"
when the clock struck six. Her back ached, her eyes throbbed, she was
conscious of a feeling of intense hatred against mild, inoffensive Mr.
Strangman.
That gentleman, having discovered the lateness of the hour by chance,
kept her another quarter of an hour apologizing before he signed the
letters.
Then he looked up at her suddenly.
"Do you think," he said, "that you could report on the dresses for us
to-morrow night at the Artists' Ball?"
"I report?" Joan looked at him in astonishment; women reporters were
disapproved of on the _Evening Herald_.
"I know it is unusual," Mr. Strangman admitted. "But Jones is ill, and
our other men will all be busy on important turns. I just thought of
you in passing; it is a pity to waste the ticket."
"I could try." Joan made an effort to keep the eagerness out of her
voice.
"Yes, that is it, you could try. We should not want much," he added;
"and it is not part of your duties as a secretary; still, you might
enjoy it, eh?"
"Why, I should love it," she assented; hate was fast merging back into
liking.
Strangman cackled his customary nervous laugh. "Then that is settled,"
he said, "and here is the ticket. You will have to have a fancy dress,
hire it, I suppose, since the time is so short. That, and a taxi there
and back, will come out of the paper. Hope it is a good show, for your
sake."
Afterwards, when she looked back at that evening, at the Artists' Ball,
Joan was ashamed to remember the eager heat of excitement which took
possession of her from the moment when she stepped out of the _Evening
Herald_ taxi and ran along the passage to the ladies' cloak-room. She
had, it seemed to her, no excuse; she was not young enough to have made
it pardonable and she had long ago decided that the intoxication of life
could be no longer hers. Its loss was to be part of the bitter lesson
fate had taught her. Yet as she saw herself in the glass, a ridiculous
figure in black flounces with just one scarlet rose pinned at her waist
and another nodding on the brim of her hat, she could not keep the
excitement from sparkling in her eyes and the colour of youth was
certainly flaming in her cheeks. Fanny had fitted her out with clever
fingers as a black Pierrette. A Pierrette, taken from the leaves of some
old French book, with her hair done in little dropping curls just
faintly powdered, as if a mist of snow lay over the brown.
She was young, after all, and the music called to her with insistent
voice. "I am looking nice," Joan confided to her reflection, "and I will
have a good time just for to-night."
Then she turned and went quickly, walking with light feet and eager eyes
that sought for adventure into the crowded room.
It gave her first of all an immense sense of space. The whole opera
house had been converted into a ballroom. There were hundreds of people
present, and every imaginable fancy dress under the sun. Brilliant
colours, bright lights and the constant movement of the crowd made up a
scene of kaleidoscopic splendour.
There was a waltz in progress and Joan stood for a little with her back
to a pillar of one of the boxes, bewildered by the noise and moving
colours. Standing opposite her, in the shadow of the other looped-up
curtain, was a man. A Pierrot to her Pierrette, only his costume was
carried out in white, and on his head, instead of the orthodox hat, he
wore a tight-bound black handkerchief. His eyes, for some reason, made
her restless. It was not that he stared exactly, the man's whole figure
was too blatantly bored for that, but there was something in their
expression which made her look and look again. At their sixth exchange
of glances the man smiled, or so it seemed to Joan, but the next moment
his face was sombre again. None the less there had been something in her
idea, for before the next couple of dancers swung past her the man had
moved from the shadow of his curtain and was standing near her.
"Don't think it is awful impudence on my part," he said, "but are you
here all alone?"
Now there was just something in his voice that, as far as most women
were concerned would sweep away all barriers. He spoke, in short, like a
gentleman. Joan looked up at him.
"Yes," she admitted; she caught her breath on a little laugh. "I am here
as a reporter, you know; it is business and pleasure combined."
Once more his eyes made her uncomfortable and she dropped hers quickly.
"That is strange," said the man gravely, "for I am a reporter too."
He was certainly not speaking the truth. Joan was not inclined to
believe that Fleet Street had ever produced reporters the least like her
companion. Still, what did it matter? just for this evening she would
throw aside convention and have a good time.
"How awfully fortunate," she answered, "because you will be able to help
me. I am new to the game."
"Well then," he suggested, "let us dance to the finish of this waltz and
I will point out a few of the celebrities as we pass them."
Just for a second Joan hesitated, but her feet were tingling to be
dancing.
"Couldn't we do it better standing here?" she parried.
"No," he assured her, "we could not do it at all unless we dance;
movement helps my memory."
He was a most perfect dancer. No one, so numberless women would have
told Joan, could hold you just as Robert Landon did, steer you untouched
through the most crowded ballroom as he did, make himself and you, for
the time being, seem part and parcel of the swaying tune, the strange
enchantment of a waltz.
Joan was flushed and a little breathless at the close; they had danced
until the last notes died on the air, and she had forgotten her mission,
the celebrities, everything, indeed, except the dance and its
bewildering melody. The man looked down at her as she stood beside him,
an eager light awake in his eyes. His voice, however, was cool and
friendly.
"You dance much too well to be a reporter," he said.
"What a ridiculous remark!" Joan retorted; "one cannot dance all day,
can one? Besides, I am not even a real reporter. I am only a typist."
"That is worse, to think of you as that is impossible," he said. "Let us
go outside and find somewhere to sit."
"But what about our reporting," Joan remonstrated; "I thought you were
going to point out celebrities?"
"Time enough for that," he answered. "I am going to take you out on to a
balcony meanwhile. There will only be the stars to look at us, and I am
going to pretend you are a fairy and that you live in the heart of a
rose, not a typist or any such awful thing."
Joan laughed. "I wish you could see my attic," she said. "It is such a
funny rose for any fairy to live in."
They sat out four dances, or was it more? Joan lost count. Out here on
the balcony, with only the stars as chaperon and a pulse of music
calling to them from the ballroom, time sped past on silver wings. For
Joan the evening was a dream; to-morrow morning she would wake, put on
her old blue coat and skirt, catch her bus at the corner of the square
and spend the day in sorting and arranging Mr. Strangman's papers.
To-night she was content to watch the bubble held before her by this
man's soft words, his strange, intent eyes; she made no attempt to
investigate it too closely. But for Landon the evening was one step
along an impulse he intended to follow to the end. He was busy laying
sure foundations, learning all there was to know of Joan's life and
surroundings, of the difficulties that might lie in the way of his
desire, of the barriers he might have to pull down.
"Things are not going to end here," he told Joan, as, the last dance
finished, they stood among the crowd waiting for a taxi. He had helped
her on with her cloak and the feel of his strong warm hands on her
shoulder had sent the blood rushing to Joan's heart.
"I don't see how it is not going to end," she answered; "you must
remember I am not even a reporter."
"No, and I am," he smiled; "I had forgotten."
He moved to face her, and putting his hands over hers, fastened up her
cloak for her. It seemed his hands lingered over the task, and finally
stayed just holding hers lightly.
"I am going to see it does not end, none the less," he said. "I shall
come and fetch you at your office this day next week and you shall dine
with me somewhere and go on to a theatre. What time do you get out of
office?"
"At about six," Joan answered; "but how can you? Why, we do not even
know each other's names!"
"No more we do, and I don't want to, do you?" He smiled down at her
undecided eyes. "I would rather think of you as Pierrette than Miss
anything, and I shall be Pierrot. It is a romance, Pierrette; will you
play it?"
"Yes," she answered slowly, but her eyes fell away from his.