"SAVE ME, DR. ANNISTER!"
Mildred Annister, passing the open door of her father's waiting room,
sent into it a casual glance, came to a sudden stop, and then, with a
brightening face, went quickly in, saying softly, "Felix!" Sweeping
the room with her eyes she saw that he was its only occupant and ran
toward him, holding out her hands and asking, apprehensively:
"Felix! You're waiting to see father! Are you ill?"
She put her hands upon his shoulders and studied his face with anxious
scrutiny for an instant, until, yielding to the pressure of his arms,
she sank upon his breast with a murmur of happy laughter.
"No, dearest, I'm not ill--you can see how perfectly well I look. It's
just a little nerve tire, I guess, and I want to ask Dr. Annister to
prescribe a tonic for me. It's nothing of any consequence."
She drew back and studied his face again. Even her fascinated eyes
began to see in it something different from the look of the man who
had won her love so completely a year before. She was conscious of
a little shiver, that meant, she knew not what, but kept her from
yielding when he would press her again into his arms.
"I'm afraid--Felix, dear--I know you must be working too hard. That's
what's the matter and that's what makes you look--a little--strange.
You are tired. You are doing such lots of work. And you mustn't break
down--now!" With another happy, loving little laugh she gave up and
nestled against his shoulder, while he kissed her cheek and brow and
lips.
"Felix!" she exclaimed, "I'm standing out bravely against that trip to
Europe father is so determined I shall take with mother this summer.
I won't go and leave you. He hasn't said so much about it lately,
because he's not well and mother is anxious about him. I've almost
persuaded her that she ought not to leave him."
She paused a moment, her face rosy with his caresses. Her eyes sought
his and her voice sank to a whisper. "Felix, dear heart, if we could
only go there alone together! Can't we tell them and then just go away
by ourselves?"
"I don't think we'd better tell them yet. Your father seems to have
become opposed to us, for some reason, and I'm trying to win him over.
We must wait a little."
"It's only because he can't bear to think of my marrying any one. He
doesn't want to give me up----"
"I don't blame him for that!"
"But he'll have to some time, and--oh, Felix! I wish we could tell
him, and mother, soon! It makes me feel so underhanded, and it mars my
happiness, just a little, darling. Don't you think it would be better
to face the music and have it over with?"
The sound of Dr. Annister's voice dismissing a patient came to their
ears and she sprang out of his embrace. "No, no! don't whisper a word
of it," he hastily adjured her. "We must wait a little while longer.
Remember what I say." There was a touch of impatience, almost of
roughness, in his tone as he spoke the last words that made her turn
wondering eyes upon him for an instant. But her father was opening
the door into his consulting room and now came forward with an
outstretched hand. She put her arm through her lover's and walked
with him into the office.
"This naughty boy has been working too hard, father," she said gaily,
"and he has that tired feeling. I think you'd better prescribe a six
months' rest and a trip around the world!"
She was smiling persuasively at her father and did not see the look of
irritation that leaped into Brand's eyes as he turned them suddenly
upon her. Then he laughingly shook his head, saying:
"It would be a bigger dose than I could swallow, I'm afraid. I have
too many contracts on my hands now to be able to take any such French
leave as that."
"Anyway, father," she insisted as she moved toward the door and, from
behind the doctor's back, threw her lover a kiss, "you must tell him
not to overwork himself, as he's been doing lately."
"Well, Felix, what is it? What's the trouble?" said the little
physician kindly, as he sank back into the depths of his capacious
arm-chair.
But the architect was ill at ease. He sprang up from the chair where
he had just seated himself and began walking back and forth in the
narrow space. His whole soul was in rebellion against the confession
he had come there to make.
"Perhaps you will remember, Dr. Annister," he began, broke off,
stopped to wipe his brow, then stumbled on: "It was here in your
office--you will remember, when I recall it to you--some time ago, you
told me--you asked me about--certain things, and urged me to come to
you--if at any time I felt I needed your help."
"Yes, yes, I remember," the doctor rejoined in encouraging tones. He
was looking at Brand with a searching gaze and saying to himself:
"Faugh! How repulsive his face has grown! He's going to tell me the
whole truth this time!"
Brand was silent again and the doctor went on, a little more briskly:
"Well, let's begin and have it over with. You must bear in mind that
the secrets of the physician's office are as sacred as those of the
confessional."
"I know it, Dr. Annister. But it's a strange story I have to tell you,
and I don't know whether or not you can help me. I thought I could
fight it out myself and win, but I can't. And if you can't help me God
knows what will become of me."
His voice sank despairingly and he dropped into the chair again, his
face in his hands.
"I'll do my best, Felix, whatever it is," the other encouraged again.
"Don't hesitate to confide in me. I've listened to many, many strange
stories in this room, and only the walls are any the wiser."
"I suppose I'm ill." Brand started up again and moved about with
uneasy steps. "I believe you physicians have decided it's an
illness--and I think you've treated some cases--" he halted and seemed
to gather up resolution for his next words--"dissociated, or dual,
personality--that's what you call it, isn't it?"
Dr. Annister sat bolt upright and for an instant could not put under
professional control the surprise that crossed his face. But Brand,
half turned away, was gazing at the floor as if he found it difficult
to meet his companion's eyes. He was conscious of an edge of
impersonal interest in the physician's voice:
"Yes, I've done a little in that line--a few cases--but nothing to
equal in importance the work of one or two others. But I've been
pretty successful. Doubtless I can help you. Go on. Tell me about it."
"It's that damned Hugh Gordon!" the architect broke out, turning
savagely toward the doctor, his face distorted with anger and his eyes
blazing. "He's fighting me for my body! He said he'd push me off the
edge, and he's doing it. Save me, Dr. Annister! Save me from him! Send
him back to where he came from!" In sudden realization of the fate
that threatened him Brand sank trembling into his chair.
"I'll try, Felix, I'll do my best, and I'm sure I can help you. But
you must tell me everything about it. How long has this condition been
going on? When did it begin?"
"Oh, I hardly know how to answer that, it came about so gradually.
Last fall, in October, was the first time he--he--came out. But
long before that he was alive, inside of me, and I knew about him
sometimes in my dreams. For years, ever since I was a boy, I have had
occasionally a curious experience in a dream. I would be in the dream
always, but not as myself. I would know, in the dream and afterwards,
that it was I who was feeling, thinking, acting, talking, but at the
same time it would seem to be an entirely different personality. Of
course there is always more or less of that feeling in a dream, but
in this case the divergence was so sharp and the consciousness of a
different individuality was so distinct that it was just as if my
mind, or soul, or whatever it is that holds the essence of myself, had
left me and taken possession of some other individual. Can you tell me
what that meant, Dr. Annister? For it was the beginning of the whole
business, and I've thought, sometimes, that I might have saved myself
all--_this_. Do you think I could?"
Dr. Annister was gazing at his patient with inscrutable eyes, sitting
upright, his fingers tapping. "I can't say now, Felix. I don't know
enough yet. But this experience was probably due to your sub-conscious
self. For we are pretty well assured that there is an existence,
perhaps more than one, in every human being subordinate to that of
which he is conscious, which is himself. Submerged beneath the full
stream of his conscious existence, with all its phases of physical and
psychical activity, this other existence goes on. In most people it is
either so deeply submerged or so closely bound up in their conscious
existence that they never know anything about it. Sometimes they catch
dim glimpses of it, and once in awhile, in one person out of many
millions, some nervous shock will break the bonds between the two
and the submerged consciousness will rise to the surface and take
possession. That is probably what happened in your dreams, with,
doubtless, some shock at the beginning to make it possible. Did these
dreams occur frequently?"
"I don't think they did at first. But I was too young and thoughtless
to take any account of them. I remember that they occurred once in
a while in my teens. Afterwards they became more frequent and the
impression they made upon me was much stronger. Then that impression
began to remain with me after I was awake, more as a memory at first,
an unusually vivid remembrance of a dream state. Then it grew so
strong that for an hour or two after waking it would dominate me and
I could feel myself almost swaying back into that other person I had
been while I was asleep and dreaming. I thought it would be a curious
and interesting experience if I could slip over into this other person
sometimes while I was awake. You know you get rather tired sometimes
of your own individuality."
He stopped and smiled, then went on: "It has never been my habit to
pass by any interesting or pleasurable experience that came my way."
The smile became almost a leer and then stiffened into a sneering
defiance as his gaze met the clear gray eyes of the physician,
impersonal, professional, unresponding. The doctor's chin rested upon
his locked fingers and his eyes were fastened upon the other's face.
Brand did not know how much of his soul that searching gaze was
gradually forcing him to reveal.
"I have always thought," he went on, as if moved by an impulse of
self-defense, the half-leering, half-sneering smile still on his face,
"that a man has the right to sample all the pleasures that come within
his reach. It's the only way by which he can come into full knowledge
of himself, and so reach his highest development. And that, I take it,
is one of the things a man lives for. Therefore he owes it to himself
to let nothing pass by him untried."
Brand ceased speaking and waited as if he expected some response.
"Don't you agree with me?" he said, after a moment of silence, in his
old, suave and deferent manner.
"Eh? Agree with you? Oh, my opinion on that matter is of no
consequence just now. You were speaking about this other individuality
beginning to dominate you after you awoke. What happened then?"
The architect straightened up and sent an irritated glance toward his
companion. But that clear gaze had established too firm a hold over
his will to be swayed by sudden temper. He fidgeted in his chair, then
took up his story again:
"Yes, I wondered what it would be like really to be somebody else
now and then. The dream was no more real to me than any dream ever
is, and if I could let myself be this other individuality for a
little while awake it seemed to me that it would be a wonderful
experience--something that nobody else had ever had. One morning last
fall I woke up with the remembrance of such a dream particularly vivid
and the impression of this other personality stronger than it had ever
been. It seemed to me that if I so much as shut my eyes I'd drift off
into this other being. While I was dressing I thought I'd just try it
and see what would happen. I was getting ready to shave and as I made
up my mind, or, rather, took down my determination against it, I
happened to look at the bright blade of my razor. It seemed as if my
eyes fairly stuck fast to it for a moment and--the thing was done."
The doctor nodded. "Yes. Self-hypnosis. Go on. The case is most
interesting."
"Well, for about an hour I was--the Lord knows where or what. When I
came to myself again I had no recollection of what had taken place.
Except for the clock I wouldn't have known that any time at all had
passed. I found that I had shaved myself, and had left my mustache,
but what else I had done I don't know. I tried it again a little
later, hoping I might, if I knew what was coming, be aware of what
happened. But I wasn't. I completely lost my own consciousness for
that time.
"Then this--this creature was able, after that, to come out of his own
will, without my giving permission. He would come while I was asleep,
at first only for a few hours, and he would usually leave a letter for
me in the room telling me what he had done and what he wanted me to
do. He called himself 'Hugh Gordon' and always signed his letters that
way.
"At first I thought this was rather amusing. But each time that
he came his power grew stronger, and so did his desire for an
independent existence. Before long he was taking possession of my body
for a day or two at a time, going out and following his own affairs.
He bought a suit of gray clothes--he seemed to want everything
different from me--and when at last he was able to keep himself going
for a week or two he had my hair cut short and let a mustache grow,
and began sending his damned insolent letters through the mail to my
office.
"Now you know, Dr. Annister, why I couldn't explain my absences any
better. Each time that he pushes me down and gets possession of my
body he keeps it longer. Now he's threatening me with annihilation. He
says that the next time he comes he's going to stay. And I'm at the
end of my strength, doctor. I've fought him back, and he's fought to
get out, for hours, and days. It's worst at night, because, so far,
the change has always taken place when I was asleep. For the last two
nights I have not slept--I've been afraid to close my eyes. I've
tramped up and down my apartment and I've drank brandy and I've gone
around town and raised hell. But I can't fight him off much longer
and I've got to have some sleep. Unless you can help me I've come to
the end."
Dr. Annister was looking at him gravely, sympathetically, the deepest
interest manifest in his countenance. "I hope I can help you, Felix. I
hope I can. We'll try. I wish you had come to me with this long ago.
It might have been easier. But I need to know still more about it.
The case is very peculiar, very interesting, and it has features
that differentiate it from any other that has been studied by any
physician. These dreams that the whole thing seems to have grown out
of--try to remember, Felix, were they preceded by any severe nervous
shock, an illness, anything that might have aided in the breaking up
of your personality?"
Brand hesitated and a faint color crept into his face. He knew when
they began and it was a thing he did not like to think of, even now,
after so many years and the change which these later months had made
in his character. But the doctor's gaze was upon him and he felt
compulsion in it.
"I think," he said slowly, "it must have been perhaps twenty years or
more ago. I had just entered my teens. My sister and I were in a tree
in our yard and she fell out and was badly hurt. She--she has never
recovered. It was a good deal of a shock to me. I began to notice the
dreams soon afterward. But they weren't very frequent."
"Just so. It might have been that." The doctor was tapping his
finger-tips together thoughtfully. There was something he wanted to
know, which he must find out. But he did not believe that the man
before him would answer truthfully the questions he needed to ask. So
he decided to experiment in another direction. "This--this other you,"
he went on, "this Hugh Gordon, came to see me once and----"
"Don't call him my other self!" Felix cried out angrily, jumping to
his feet and scowling. "He is a thief, a murderer! He has stolen my
good name, my money, my body, he is trying to kill me! I know he came
here and tried to poison your feeling against me--and I think he must
have succeeded, too. He has tried to set my own mother and sister
against me in that same way. He goes snooping out to their home and
makes them believe all sorts of tales about me. He's even been
whispering his lies into the ear of my secretary, until she's going to
leave me."
In his rage, which grew with each fresh accusation that he brought
against his enemy, Brand was rushing about with uneven steps and now
and then smiting a table or a chair with his fist. "He is determined
to pull me down and cover me with disgrace and then annihilate me for
his own benefit. Damn him, I won't have him spoken of as my other
self!"
"Try to be calm, Felix," urged the doctor quietly. "You only make your
task the harder every time you give up to such outbursts of rage." He
was looking at the other's trembling hands and working face and
thinking that here was at least a beginning of what he wished to know.
"Has this abnormal condition affected you in the exercise of your
special gift?" he asked. Brand's face brightened and his manner
quieted at once.
"Ah! That's something he's not been able to filch from me, the damned
thief!" he exclaimed exultantly as he seated himself again. "I've
kept all the talent I ever had in that line, and it has developed and
increased wonderfully--I don't mean to boast, Dr. Annister, but I know
what I'm talking about--since this has been going on. If you saw the
pictures that were published and the things all the critics said of me
a few weeks ago you would know that is true. I'm astonished myself
lately at the ease, the rapidity and the success with which I work.
But it's all he has not stolen," Brand continued more gloomily. "He
has taken all my business sense. I used to have a good deal of it. I
could make money and I would soon have been a rich man. Now I'm
getting poorer every day, and he's getting rich."
"Yes, I see." The physician was nodding and softly beating his fingers
together. "I get an idea of how the cleavage has been. Your nature was
broken into two parts--as clean and sharp and complete a break as in
any case I know of. Our task now is to reunite them and make a whole
man again out of the halves into which you have separated."
Brand leaned forward eagerly. "Then you'll help me?" he demanded. "You
won't go over to his side? The damned hypocrite! He says he is more
entitled to life than I am, because he's a better man, because he
wants to do good. Why, Doctor, in the last letter he sent me--"
Brand's anger was rising again--"he ordered me to make my will, and to
leave a letter for some one that would explain my disappearance so
that it would be known that I was gone for good, that I was never
coming back!" The physician held his patient with a calm gaze and made
a sign that he was to control himself. And in a moment Felix sank back
into his seat, trembling with the reaction from his burst of temper,
and imploring the other for the gift of a longer lease of life.
"You'll send him back to where he came from, won't you, Dr. Annister?
You won't let him have his will over me?"
"We can succeed," the doctor assured him in confident tones, "if you
will do your part. You must control yourself at all times. Try to
strengthen your enfeebled will power. Live quietly, sanely, and a
clean, moral life. I don't believe you've been doing that, Felix."
"Oh, I've had to keep some excitement going. I've motored like the
devil all around New York, and when I could have pleasant company with
me that helped to hold that damned creature down as much as anything.
Some people were better than others. Miss Marne's sister, a jolly
girl, especially if I fed her with champagne while we were out, was
very useful and she saved me several times. But the last time it was
a failure. She seemed to be afraid of me and though I made her drink
wine till she was drunk, it was no good. I came back no better off
than I was before."
Dr. Annister made a sudden movement and looked at his watch. He was
conscious of an irruption of unprofessional loathing into his feeling
for his patient. He was wondering how much this callous disregard of
everything but his own interest was due to his abnormal condition and
how much to his innate selfishness; and his thoughts flew to his own
cherished daughter.
"Well, Felix," he said rising, "I'm due--I've barely time to make
it--at a consultation over an important case, so that we can't go any
farther into this now. But I can help you. I'm sure I can, if you will
follow orders. I shall try hypnosis. It's the only thing we know, yet,
that really has much effect. But some wonderful cures have been made
with it. Come back tonight. My evening office hour is from eight to
nine. Come about nine o'clock, so that I can take you the last one
and have plenty of time for experiment. And there's another thing,
Felix,--ah!" He stopped suddenly, as a little spasm of pain crossed
his face, and pressed his hand against his heart. "It's nothing," he
went on deprecatingly, at the other's look of inquiry. "This little
organ in here," and he patted his breast, "reminds me of its
existence, once in a while, lately. I'm ordered to take a rest, and I
suppose I'll have to before long."
"You're not going away?" Brand queried anxiously. "You won't go till
after you've fixed me up?"
"I can't go for some time--unless I have to. And don't mention it to
Mildred or Mrs. Annister. Now, about that other thing. I must insist,
Felix, that you release Mildred from this engagement between you. I
have let it go on against my own judgment too long already, because I
was hoping that time would lessen her infatuation. But in the light of
all that you have just told me it is impossible--it must not continue
another day. You ought to see yourself how unfair it would be to her."
"But suppose," said Brand, with the suggestion of a sneer in his
voice, "that Mildred should not wish to be released?"
The doctor pressed his lips together and his gray eyes flashed. His
pale face looked very weary. "Her wishes can make no difference now,"
he replied decisively. "Write to her and say that you wish to end the
engagement. Make any excuse that you like. But you must not see her
again. That is final, Felix. Good-bye. I'll see you tonight."