incident, which took place in the castle of Borthwick, in the year 1517.
It appears, that in consequence of a process betwixt Master George
Hay de Minzeane and the Lord Borthwick, letters of excommunication
had passed against the latter, on account of the contumacy of certain
witnesses. William Langlands, an apparitor or macer (_bacularius_) of
the See of St Andrews, presented these letters to the curate of the
church of Borthwick, requiring him to publish the same at the service of
high mass. It seems that the inhabitants of the castle were at this
time engaged in the favourite sport of enacting the Abbot of Unreason,
a species of high jinks, in which a mimic prelate was elected, who, like
the Lord of Misrule in England, turned all sort of lawful authority, and
particularly the church ritual, into ridicule. This frolicsome person
with his retinue, notwithstanding of the apparitor's character, entered
the church, seized upon the primate's officer without hesitation, and,
dragging him to the mill-dam on the south side of the castle, compelled
him to leap into the water. Not contented with this partial immersion,
the Abbot of Unreason pronounced, that Mr. William Langlands was not yet
sufficiently bathed, and therefore caused his assistants to lay him
on his back in the stream, and duck him in the most satisfactory and
perfect manner. The unfortunate apparitor was then conducted back to
the church, where, for his refreshment after his bath, the letters of
excommunication were torn to pieces, and steeped in a bowl of wine; the
mock abbot being probably of opinion that a tough parchment was but
dry eating, Langlands was compelled to eat the letters, and swallow
the wine, and dismissed by the Abbot of Unreason, with the comfortable
assurance, that if any more such letters should arrive during the
continuance of his office, “they should a' gang the same gate,” _i. e._
go the same road.
A similar scene occurs betwixt a sumner of the Bishop of Rochester,
and Harpool, the servant of Lord Cobham, in the old play of Sir John
Oldcastle, when the former compels the church-officer to eat his
citation. The dialogue, which may be found in the note, contains most
of the jests which may be supposed, appropriate to such an extraordinary
occasion:
_Harpool_ Marry, sir, is, this process parchment?
_Sumner._ Yes, marry is it.
_Harpool._ And this seal wax?
_Sumner._ It is so.
_Harpool._ If this be parchment, and this be wax, eat you this parchment
and wax, or I will make parchment of your skin, and beat your brains
into wax. Sirrah Sumner, despatch--devour, sirrah, devour.
_Sumner._ I am my Lord of Rochester's sumner; I came to do my office,
and thou shall answer it.
_Harpool._ Sirrah, no railing, but, betake thyself to thy teeth. Thou
shalt, eat no worse than thou bringest with thee. Thou bringest it for
my lord; and wilt thou bring my lord worse than thou wilt eat thyself?
_Sumner._ Sir. I brought it not my lord to eat.
_Harpool._ O, do you Sir me now? All's one for that; I'll make you eat
it for bringing it.
_Sumner._ I cannot eat it.
_Harpool._ Can you not? 'Sblood, I'll beat you till you have a stomach!
(_Beats him._)
_Sumner._ Oh, hold, hold, good Mr. Servingman; I will eat it.
_Harpool._ Be champing, be chewing, sir, or I will chew you, you rogue.
Tough wax is the purest of the honey.
_Sumner._ The purest of the honey?--O Lord, sir, oh! oh!
_Harpool._ Feed, feed; 'tis wholesome, rogue, wholesome. Cannot you,
like an honest sumner, walk with the devil your brother, to fetch in
your bailiff's rents, but you must come to a nobleman's house with
process! If the seal were broad as the lead which covers Rochester
Church, thou shouldst eat it.
_Sumner._ Oh, I am almost choked--I am almost choked!
_Harpool._ Who's within there? Will you shame my lord? Is there no beer
in the house? Butler, I say.
_Enter_ BUTLER.
_Butler._ Here, here.
_Harpool._ Give him beer. Tough old sheep skin's but dry meat.
_First Part of Sir John Oldcastle_, Act II. Scene I.]
replied the voice from without; and, from the laugh--which followed,
it seemed as if there was something highly ludicrous couched under this
reply.
“I know not, and seek not to know, your meaning,” replied the Abbot,
“since it is probably a rude one. But begone, in the name of God, and
leave his servants in peace. I speak this, as having lawful authority to
command here.”
“Open the door,” said another rude voice, “and we will try titles with
you, Sir Monk, and show you a superior we must all obey.”
“Break open the doors if he dallies any longer,” said a third, “and down
with the carrion monks who would bar us of our privilege!” A general
shout followed. “Ay, ay, our privilege! our privilege! down with the
doors, and with the lurdane monks, if they make opposition!”
The knocking was now exchanged for blows with great, hammers, to which
the doors, strong as they were, must soon have given way. But the Abbot,
who saw resistance would be in vain, and who did not wish to incense the
assailants by an attempt at offering it, besought silence earnestly, and
with difficulty obtained a hearing. “My children,” said he, “I will
save you from committing a great sin. The porter will presently undo the
gate--he is gone to fetch the keys--meantime I pray you to consider with
yourselves, if you are in a state of mind to cross the holy threshold.”
“Tillyvally for your papistry!” was answered from without; “we are in
the mood of the monks when they are merriest, and that is when they sup
beef-brewis for lanten-kail. So, if your porter hath not the gout, let
him come speedily, or we heave away readily.--Said I well, comrades?”
“Bravely said, and it shall be as bravely done,” said the multitude; and
had not the keys arrived at that moment, and the porter in hasty terror
performed his office, throwing open the great door, the populace would
have saved him the trouble. The instant he had done so, the affrighted
janitor fled, like one who has drawn the bolts of a flood-gate, and
expects to be overwhelmed by the rushing inundation. The monks, with one
consent, had withdrawn themselves behind the Abbot, who alone kept his
station, about three yards from the entrance, showing no signs of fear
or perturbation. His brethren--partly encouraged by his devotion, partly
ashamed to desert him, and partly animated by a sense of duty.--remained
huddled close together, at the back of their Superior. There was a loud
laugh and huzza when the doors were opened; but, contrary to what might
have been expected, no crowd of enraged assailants rushed into the
church. On the contrary, there was a cry of “A halt!-a halt--to order,
my masters! and let the two reverend fathers greet each other, as
beseems them.”
The appearance of the crowd who were thus called to order, was grotesque
in the extreme. It was composed of men, women, and children, ludicrously
disguised in various habits, and presenting groups equally diversified
and grotesque. Here one fellow with a horse's head painted before him,
and a tail behind, and the whole covered with a long foot-cloth, which
was supposed to hide the body of the animal, ambled, caracoled, pranced,
and plunged, as he performed the celebrated part of the hobby-horse,
[Footnote: This exhibition, the play-mare of Scotland, stood high among
holyday gambols. It must be carefully separated from the wooden
chargers which furnish out our nurseries. It gives rise to Hamlet's
ejaculation,--
But oh, but oh, the hobby-horse is forgot!
There is a very comic scene in Beaumont and Fletcher's play of “Woman
Pleased,” where Hope-on-high Bombye, a puritan cobbler, refuses to dance
with the hobby-horse. There was much difficulty and great variety in the
motions which the hobby-horse was expected to exhibit.
The learned Mr. Douce, who has contributed so much to the illustration
of our theatrical antiquities, has given us a full account of this
pageant, and the burlesque horsemanship which it practised.
“The hobby-horse,” says Mr. Douce, “was represented by a man equipped
with as much pasteboard as was sufficient to form the head and hinder
parts of a horse, the quadrupedal defects being concealed by a long
mantle or footcloth that nearly touched the ground. The former, on this
occasion, exerted all his skill in burlesque horsemanship. In Sympson's
play of the Law-breakers, 1636, a miller personates the hobby-horse, and
being angry that the Mayor of the city is put in competition with him,
exclaims, 'Let the mayor play the hobby-horse among his brethren, an he
will; I hope our town-lads cannot want a hobby-horse. Have I practised
my reins, my careers, my prankers, my ambles, my false trots, my smooth
ambles, and Canterbury paces, and shall master mayor put me beside
the hobby-horse? Have I borrowed the fore-horse bells, his plumes, his
braveries; nay, had his mane new shorn and frizzled, and shall the mayor
put me beside the hobby-horse?” --_Douce's Illustrations_, vol. II. p.
468]
so often alluded to in our ancient drama; and which still flourishes
on the stage in the battle that concludes Bayes's tragedy. To rival
the address and agility displayed by this character, another personage
advanced in the more formidable character of a huge dragon, with gilded
wings, open jaws, and a scarlet tongue, cloven at the end, which made
various efforts to overtake and devour a lad, dressed as the lovely
Sabaea, daughter of the King of Egypt, who fled before him; while a
martial Saint George, grotesquely armed with a goblet for a helmet, and
a spit for a lance, ever and anon interfered, and compelled the monster
to relinquish his prey. A bear, a wolf, and one or two other wild
animals, played their parts with the discretion of Snug the joiner; for
the decided preference which they gave to the use of their hind legs,
was sufficient, without any formal annunciation, to assure the most
timorous spectators that they had to do with habitual bipeds. There was
a group of outlaws with Robin Hood and Little John at their head
[Footnote: The representation of Robin Hood was the darling Maygame both
in England and Scotland, and doubtless the favourite personification was
often revived, when the Abbot of Unreason, or other pretences of frolic,
gave an unusual decree of license.
The Protestant clergy, who had formerly reaped advantage from the
opportunities which these sports afforded them of directing their own
satire and the ridicule of the lower orders against the Catholic church,
began to find that, when these purposes were served, their favourite
pastimes deprived them of the wish to attend divine worship, and
disturbed the frame of mind in which it can be attended to advantage.
The celebrated Bishop Latimer gives a very _naive_ account of the manner
in which, bishop as he was, he found himself compelled to give place to
Robin Hood and his followers.
“I came once myselfe riding on a journey homeward from London, and I
sent word over night into the towne that I would preach there in the
morning, because it was holiday, and me thought it was a holidayes
worke. The church stood in my way, and I took my horse and my company,
and went thither, (I thought I should have found a great company in
the church,) and when I came there the church doore was fast locked. I
tarryed there halfe an houre and more. At last the key was found, and
one of the parish comes to me and said,--'Sir, this is a busie day with
us, we cannot hear you; it is Robin Hood's day. The parish are gone
abroad to gather for Robin Hood. I pray you let them not.' I was faine
there to give place to Robin Hood. I thought my rochet should have been
regarded, though I were not: but it would not serve, it was faine to
give place to Robin Hood's men. It is no laughing matter, my friends,
it is a weeping matter, a heavie matter, a heavie matter. Under the
pretence for gathering for Robin Hood, a traytour, and a theif, to put
out a preacher; to have his office lesse esteemed; to preferre Robin
Hood before the ministration of God's word; and all this hath come of
unpreaching prelates. This realme hath been ill provided for, that it
hath had such corrupt judgments in it, to prefer Robin Hood to God's
word.”--_Bishop Latimer's sixth Sermon before King Edward_.
While the English Protestants thus preferred the outlaw's pageant to the
preaching of their excellent Bishop, the Scottish calvinistic clergy,
with the celebrated John Knox at their head, and backed by the authority
of the magistrates of Edinburgh, who had of late been chosen exclusively
from this party, found it impossible to control the rage of the
populace, when they attempted to deprive them of the privilege of
presenting their pageant of Robin Hood.
[Note on old Scottish spelling: leading y = modern 'th'; leading v =
modern 'u']
(561) “Vpon the xxi day of Junij. Archibalde Dowglas of Kilspindie,
Provest of Edr., David Symmer and Adame Fullartoun, baillies of the
samyne, causit ane cordinare servant, callit James Gillion takin of
befoir, for playing in Edr. with Robene Hude, to wnderly the law, and
put him to the knawlege of ane assyize qlk yaij haid electit of yair
favoraris, quha with schort deliberatioun condemnit him to be hangit for
ye said cryme. And the deaconis of ye craftismen fearing vproare, maid
great solistatuis at ye handis of ye said provost and baillies, and als
requirit John Knox, minister, for eschewing of tumult, to superceid ye
execution of him, vnto ye tyme yai suld adverteis my Lord Duke yairof.
And yan, if it wes his mynd and will yat he should be disponit vpoun, ye
said deaconis and craftismen sould convey him yaire; quha answerit, yat
yai culd na way stope ye executioun of justice. Quhan ye time of ye said
pouer mans hanging approchit, and yat ye hangman wes cum to ye jibbat
with ye ledder, vpoune ye qlk ye said cordinare should have bene hangit,
ane certaine and remanent craftischilder, quha wes put to ye horne with
ye said Gillione, ffor ye said Robene Huide's _playes_, and vyris yair
assistaris and favoraris, past to wappinis, and yai brak down ye said
jibbat, and yan chacit ye said provest, baillies, and Alexr. Guthrie, in
ye said Alexander's writing buith, and held yame yairin; and yairefter
past to ye tolbuyt, and becaus the samyne was steiket, and onnawayes
culd get the keyes thairof, thai brak the said tolbuith dore with foure
harberis, per force, (the said provest and baillies luckand thairon.)
and not onlie put thar the said Gillione to fredome and libertie, and
brocht him furth of the said tolbuit, bot alsua the remanent presonaris
being thairintill; and this done, the said craftismen's servands, with
the said condempnit cordonar, past doun to the Netherbow, to have past
furth thairat; bot becaus the samyne on thair coming thairto wes
closet, thai past vp agane the Hie streit of the said bourghe to the
Castellhill, and in this menetymne the saidis provest and baillies, and
thair assistaris being in the writing buith of the said Alexr. Guthrie,
past and enterit in the said tolbuyt, and in the said servandes passage
vp the Hie streit, then schote furth thairof at thame ane dog, and hurt
ane servand of the said childer. This being done, thair wes nathing
vthir but the one partie schuteand out and castand stanes furth of the
said tolbuyt, and the vther pairtie schuteand hagbuttis in the same
agane. Aund sua the craftismen's servandis, aboue written, held and
inclosit the said provest and baillies continewallie in the said
tolbuyth, frae three houris efternone, quhill aught houris at even,
and na man of the said town prensit to relieve their said provest and
baillies. And than thai send to the maisters of the Castell, to caus
tham if thai mycht stay the said servandis, quha maid ane maner to do
the same, bot thai could not bring the same to ane finall end, ffor
the said servands wold on noways stay fra, quhill thai had revengit the
hurting of ane of them; and thairefter the constable of the castell come
down thairfra, and he with the said maisters treatet betwix the said
pties in this maner:--That the said provost and baillies sall remit to
the said craftischilder, all actioun, cryme, and offens that thai had
committit aganes thame in any tyme bygane; and band and oblast thame
never to pursew them thairfor; and als commandit thair maisters to
resaue them agane in thair services, as thai did befoir. And this being
proclainit at the mercat cross, thai scalit, and the said provest and
bailies come furth of the same tolbouyth.” &c. &c. &c.
John Knox, who writes at large upon this tumult, informs us it was
inflamed by the deacons of craftes, who, resenting; the superiority
assumed over them by the magistrates, would yield no assistance to put
down the tumult. “They will be magistrates alone,” said the recusant
deacons, “e'en let them rule the populace alone;” and accordingly
they passed quietly to take _their four-hours penny_, and left the
magistrates to help themselves as they could. Many persons were
excommunicated for this outrage, and not admitted to church ordinances
till they had made satisfaction.] --the best representation exhibited
at the time; and no great wonder, since most of the actors were, by
profession, the banished men and thieves whom they presented. Other
masqueraders there were, of a less marked description. Men were
disguised as women, and women as men--children wore the dress of aged
people, and tottered with crutch-sticks in their hands, furred gowns
on their little backs, and caps on their round heads--while grandsires
assumed the infantine tone as well as the dress of children. Besides
these, many had their faces painted, and wore their shirts over the
rest of their dress; while coloured pasteboard and ribbons furnished out
decorations for others. Those who wanted all these properties,
blacked their faces, and turned their jackets inside out; and thus the
transmutation of the whole assembly into a set of mad grotesque mummers,
was at once completed.
The pause which the masqueraders made, waiting apparently for some
person of the highest authority amongst them, gave those within the
Abbey Church full time to observe all these absurdities. They were at no
loss to comprehend their purpose and meaning.
Few readers can be ignorant, that at an early period, and during the
plenitude of her power, the Church of Rome not only connived at,
but even encouraged, such Saturnalian licenses as the inhabitants of
Kennaquhair and the neighbourhood had now in hand, and that the vulgar,
on such occasions, were not only permitted but encouraged by a number of
gambols, sometimes puerile and ludicrous, sometimes immoral and profane,
to indemnify themselves for the privations and penances imposed on them
at other seasons. But, of all other topics for burlesque and ridicule,
the rites and ceremonial of the church itself were most frequently
resorted to; and, strange to say, with the approbation of the clergy
themselves.
While the hierarchy flourished in full glory, they do not appear to
have dreaded the consequences of suffering the people to become so
irreverently familiar with things sacred; they then imagined the laity
to be much in the condition of the labourer's horse, which does not
submit to the bridle and the whip with greater reluctance, because, at
rare intervals, he is allowed to frolic at large in his pasture, and
fling out his heels in clumsy gambols at the master who usually drives
him. But, when times changed--when doubt of the Roman Catholic doctrine,
and hatred of their priesthood, had possessed the reformed party, the
clergy discovered, too late, that no small inconvenience arose from
the established practice of games and merry-makings, in which they
themselves, and all they held most sacred, were made the subject of
ridicule. It then became obvious to duller politicians than the Romish
churchmen, that the same actions have a very different tendency when
done in the spirit of sarcastic insolence and hatred, than when
acted merely in exuberance of rude and uncontrollable spirits. They,
therefore, though of the latest, endeavoured, where they had any
remaining influence, to discourage the renewal of these indecorous
festivities. In this particular, the Catholic clergy were joined by most
of the reformed preachers, who were more shocked at the profanity and
immorality of many of these exhibitions, than disposed to profit by
the ridiculous light in which they placed the Church of Rome and her
observances. But it was long ere these scandalous and immoral sports
could be abrogated;--the rude multitude continued attached to their
favourite pastimes, and, both in England and Scotland, the mitre of the
Catholic--the rochet of the reformed bishop--and the cloak and band of
the Calvinistic divine--were, in turn, compelled to give place to those
jocular personages, the Pope of Fools, the Boy-Bishop, and the Abbot of
Unreason. [Footnote: From the interesting novel entitled Anastasius, it
seems the same burlesque ceremonies were practised in the Greek Church.
]
It was the latter personage who now, in full costume, made his approach
to the great door of the church of St. Mary's, accoutred in such a
manner as to form a caricature, or practical parody, on the costume and
attendants of the real Superior, whom he came to beard on the very day
of his installation, in the presence of his clergy, and in the chancel
of his church. The mock dignitary was a stout-made under-sized fellow,
whose thick squab form had been rendered grotesque by a supplemental
paunch, well stuffed. He wore a mitre of leather, with the front like a
grenadier's cap, adorned with mock embroidery, and trinkets of tin. This
surmounted a visage, the nose of which was the most prominent feature,
being of unusual size, and at least as richly gemmed as his head-gear.
His robe was of buckram, and his cope of canvass, curiously painted, and
cut into open work. On one shoulder was fixed the painted figure of an
owl; and he bore in the right hand his pastoral staff, and in the left a
small mirror having a handle to it, thus resembling a celebrated
jester, whose adventures, translated into English, were whilom extremely
popular, and which may still be procured in black letter, for about one
sterling pound per leaf.
The attendants of this mock dignitary had their proper dresses and
equipage, bearing the same burlesque resemblance to the officers of
the Convent which their leader did to the Superior. They followed their
leader in regular procession, and the motley characters, which had
waited his arrival, now crowded into the church in his train, shouting
as they came,--“A hall, a hall! for the venerable Father Howleglas, the
learned Monk of Misrule, and the Right Reverend Abbot of Unreason!”
The discordant minstrelsy of every kind renewed its din; the boys
shrieked and howled, and the men laughed and hallooed, and the women
giggled and screamed, and the beasts roared, and the dragon wallopped
and hissed, and the hobby-horse neighed, pranced, and capered, and the
rest frisked and frolicked, clashing their hobnailed shoes against the
pavement, till it sparkled with the marks of their energetic caprioles.
It was, in fine, a scene of ridiculous confusion, that deafened the ear,
made the eyes giddy, and must have altogether stunned any indifferent
spectator; the monks, whom personal apprehension and a consciousness
that much of the popular enjoyment arose from the ridicule being
directed against them, were, moreover, little comforted by the
reflection, that, bold in their disguise, the mummers who whooped and
capered around them, might, on slight provocation, turn their jest into
earnest, or at least proceed to those practical pleasantries, which
at all times arise so naturally out of the frolicsome and mischievous
disposition of the populace. They looked to their Abbot amid the tumult,
with such looks as landsmen cast upon the pilot when the storm is at the
highest--looks which express that they are devoid of all hope arising
from their own exertions, and not very confident in any success likely
to attend those of their Palinurus.