The Queen my mother left me, saying these words. For my part, I
remained a close prisoner, without a visit from a single person,
none of my most intimate friends daring to come near me, through
the apprehension that such a step might prove injurious to their
interests. Thus it is ever in Courts. Adversity is solitary,
while prosperity dwells in a crowd; the object of persecution
being sure to be shunned by his nearest friends and dearest
connections. The brave Grillon was the only one who ventured
to visit me, at the hazard of incurring disgrace. He came five
or six times to see me, and my guards were so much astonished
at his resolution, and awed by his presence, that not a single
Cerberus of them all would venture to refuse him entrance to
my apartments.
Meanwhile, the King my husband reached the States under his
government. Being joined there by his friends and dependents,
they all represented to him the indignity offered to me by his
quitting the Court without taking leave of me. They observed
to him that I was a princess of good understanding, and that
it would be for his interest to regain my esteem; that, when
matters were put on their former footing, he might derive to
himself great advantage from my presence at Court. Now that he
was at a distance from his Circe, Madame de Sauves, he could
listen to good advice. Absence having abated the force of her
charms, his eyes were opened; he discovered the plots and
machinations of our enemies, and clearly perceived that a rupture
could not but tend to the ruin of us both.
Accordingly, he wrote me a very affectionate letter, wherein he
entreated me to forget all that had passed betwixt us, assuring
me that from thenceforth he would ever love me, and would give
me every demonstration that he did so, desiring me to inform
him of what was going on at Court, and how it fared with me and
my brother. My brother was in Champagne and the King my husband
in Gascony, and there had been no communication betwixt them,
though they were on terms of friendship.
I received this letter during my imprisonment, and it gave me
great comfort under that situation. Although my guards had strict
orders not to permit me to set pen to paper, yet, as necessity
is said to be the mother of invention, I found means to write
many letters to him.
Some few days after I had been put under arrest, my brother had
intelligence of it, which chagrined him so much that, had not
the love of his country prevailed with him, the effects of his
resentment would have been shown in a cruel civil war, to which
purpose he had a sufficient force entirely at his devotion. He
was, however, withheld by his patriotism, and contented himself
with writing to the Queen my mother, informing her that, if I was
thus treated, he should be driven upon some desperate measure.
She, fearing the consequence of an open rupture, and dreading
lest, if blows were once struck, she should be deprived of the
power of bringing about a reconciliation betwixt the brothers,
represented the consequences to the King, and found him well
disposed to lend an ear to her reasons, as his anger was now
cooled by the apprehensions of being attacked in Gascony, Dauphiny,
Languedoc, and Poitou, with all the strength of the Huguenots
under the King my husband.
Besides the many strong places held by the Huguenots, my brother
had an army with him in Champagne, composed chiefly of nobility,
the bravest and best in France. The King found, since my brother's
departure, that he could not, either by threats or rewards, induce
a single person among the princes and great lords to act against
him, so much did everyone fear to intermeddle in this quarrel,
which they considered as of a family nature; and after having
maturely reflected on his situation, he acquiesced in my mother's
opinion, and begged her to fall upon some means of reconciliation.
She thereupon proposed going to my brother and taking me with
her. To the measure of taking me, the King had an objection, as
he considered me as the hostage for my husband and brother. She
then agreed to leave me behind, and set off without my knowledge
of the matter. At their interview, my brother represented to the
Queen my mother that he could not but be greatly dissatisfied
with the King after the many mortifications he had received at
Court; that the cruelty and injustice of confining me hurt him
equally as if done to himself; observing, moreover, that, as
if my arrest were not a sufficient mortification, poor Torigni
must be made to suffer; and concluding with the declaration of
his firm resolution not to listen to any terms of peace until
I was restored to my liberty, and reparation made me for the
indignity I had sustained. The Queen my mother being unable to
obtain any other answer, returned to Court and acquainted the
King with my brother's determination. Her advice was to go back
again with me, for going without me, she said, would answer very
little purpose; and if I went with her in disgust, it would do
more harm than good. Besides, there was reason to fear, in that
case, I should insist upon going to my husband. "In short," says
she, "my daughter's guard must be removed, and she must be satisfied
in the best way we can."
The King agreed to follow her advice, and was now, on a sudden,
as eager to reconcile matters betwixt us as she was herself.
Hereupon I was sent for, and when I came to her, she informed
me that she had paved the way for peace; that it was for the
good of the State, which she was sensible I must be as desirous
to promote as my brother; that she had it now in her power to
make a peace which would be as satisfactory as my brother could
desire, and would put us entirely out of the reach of Le Guast's
machinations, or those of any one else who might have an influence
over the King's mind. She observed that, by assisting her to
procure a good understanding betwixt the King and my brother, I
should relieve her from that cruel disquietude under which she
at present laboured, as, should things come to an open rupture,
she could not but be grieved, whichever party prevailed, as they
were both her sons. She therefore expressed her hopes that I
would forget the injuries I had received, and dispose myself to
concur in a peace, rather than join in any plan of revenge. She
assured me that the King was sorry for what had happened; that
he had even expressed his regret to her with tears in his eyes,
and had declared that he was ready to give me every satisfaction.
I replied that I was willing to sacrifice everything for the
good of my brothers and of the State; that I wished for nothing
so much as peace, and that I would exert myself to the utmost
to bring it about.
As I uttered these words, the King came into the closet, and, with
a number of fine speeches, endeavoured to soften my resentment
and to recover my friendship, to which I made such returns as
might show him I harboured no ill-will for the injuries I had
received. I was induced to such behaviour rather out of contempt,
and because it was good policy to let the King go away satisfied
with me.
Besides, I had found a secret pleasure, during my confinement,
from the perusal of good books, to which I had given myself up
with a delight I never before experienced. I consider this as an
obligation I owe to fortune, or, rather, to Divine Providence,
in order to prepare me, by such efficacious means, to bear up
against the misfortunes and calamities that awaited me. By tracing
nature in the universal book which is opened to all mankind, I
was led to the knowledge of the Divine Author. Science conducts
us, step by step, through the whole range of creation, until we
arrive, at length, at God. Misfortune prompts us to summon our
utmost strength to oppose grief and recover tranquillity, until
at length we find a powerful aid in the knowledge and love of
God, whilst prosperity hurries us away until we are overwhelmed
by our passions. My captivity and its consequent solitude afforded
me the double advantage of exciting a passion for study, and an
inclination for devotion, advantages I had never experienced
during the vanities and splendour of my prosperity.
As I have already observed, the King, discovering in me no signs
of discontent, informed me that the Queen my mother was going
into Champagne to have an interview with my brother, in order
to bring about a peace, and begged me to accompany her thither
and to use my best endeavours to forward his views, as he knew
my brother was always well disposed to follow my counsel; and
he concluded with saying that the peace, when accomplished, he
should ever consider as being due to my good offices, and should
esteem himself obliged to me for it. I promised to exert myself
in so good a work, which I plainly perceived was both for my
brother's advantage and the benefit of the State.
The Queen my mother and I set off for Sens the next day. The
conference was agreed to be held in a gentleman's château, at
a distance of about a league from that place. My brother was
waiting for us, accompanied by a small body of troops and the
principal Catholic noblemen and princes of his army. Amongst
these were the Duc Casimir and Colonel Poux, who had brought
him six thousand German horse, raised by the Huguenots, they
having joined my brother, as the King my husband and he acted
in conjunction.
The treaty was continued for several days, the conditions of
peace requiring much discussion, especially such articles of it
as related to religion. With respect to these, when at length
agreed upon, they were too much to the advantage of the Huguenots,
as it appeared afterwards, to be kept; but the Queen my mother
gave in to them, in order to have a peace, and that the German
cavalry before mentioned might be disbanded. She was, moreover,
desirous to get my brother out of the hands of the Huguenots;
and he was himself as willing to leave them, being always a very
good Catholic, and joining the Huguenots only through necessity.
One condition of the peace was, that my brother should have a
suitable establishment. My brother likewise stipulated for me,
that my marriage portion should be assigned in lands, and M. de
Beauvais, a commissioner on his part, insisted much upon it.
My mother, however, opposed it, and persuaded me to join her in
it, assuring me that I should obtain from the King all I could
require. Thereupon I begged I might not be included in the articles
of peace, observing that I would rather owe whatever I was to
receive to the particular favour of the King and the Queen my
mother, and should, besides, consider it as more secure when
obtained by such means.
The peace being thus concluded and ratified on both sides, the
Queen my mother prepared to return. At this instant I received
letters from the King my husband, in which he expressed a great
desire to see me, begging me, as soon as peace was agreed on, to
ask leave to go to him. I communicated my husband's wish, to the
Queen my mother, and added my own entreaties. She expressed herself
greatly averse to such a measure, and used every argument to set
me against it. She observed that, when I refused her proposal
of a divorce after St. Bartholomew's Day, she gave way to my
refusal, and commended me for it, because my husband was then
converted to the Catholic religion; but now that he had abjured
Catholicism, and was turned Huguenot again, she could not give
her consent that I should go to him. When I still insisted upon
going, she burst into a flood of tears, and said, if I did not
return with her, it would prove her ruin; that the King would
believe it was her doing; that she had promised to bring me back
with her; and that, when my brother returned to Court, which
would be soon, she would give her consent.
We now returned to Paris, and found the King well satisfied that
we had made a peace; though not, however, pleased with the articles
concluded in favour of the Huguenots. He therefore resolved within
himself, as soon as my brother should return to Court, to find
some pretext for renewing the war. These advantageous conditions
were, indeed, only granted the Huguenots to get my brother out
of their hands, who was detained near two months, being employed
in disbanding his German horse and the rest of his army.