"Did I ever tell you Rose, dear, about that night, and all that Janet
said to me? I told her how I wished to get out of my useless,
unsatisfactory life, just as you have been telling me. Did I ever tell
you all she said to me? I don't think I ever did. I felt then, just as
you do now. I think I can understand your feeling, better than you
suppose; and I opened my heart to Janet--I mean, I told her how sick I
was of it all, and how good-for-nothing I felt myself to be, and how it
all might be changed, if only I could find real work to do--"
And Graeme went on to tell much that had been said between them that
night, about woman's work, and about old maids, and a little about the
propriety of not setting one's face against the manifest lot of woman;
and when she came to this part of it, she spoke with an attempt at
playfulness, meant to cover, a little, the earnestness of all that went
before. But neither in this nor in the rest, did she speak as though
she meant Rose to take the lesson to herself, or as though it meant very
much to either of them now; but rather implied by her words and manner,
and by many a pathetic touch here and there, that she was dwelling on it
as a pleasant reminiscence of the dear old friend, whose quaint sayings
were household words among them, because of their wisdom, and because of
the honour and the love they gave her. Her earnestness increased, as,
by and by, she saw the impatience pass out of her sister's face and
manner; and it never came into her mind that she was turning back a page
in her own experience, over which Rose had long ago pondered with wonder
and sadness.
"I could not make Janet see the necessity that seemed so clear to me,"
she went on. "I could not make her understand, or, at least, I thought
she could not understand, for she spoke as though she thought that
Fanny's coming, and those old vexations, made me wish to get away, and
it was not easy to answer her when she said that my impatience and
restlessness would all pass away, and that I must fulfil papa's last
wish, and stay with the rest. I thought the time had come when the
necessity for that was over, and that another way would be better for
_me_, certainly; and I thought for Arthur and Fanny, too, and for you,
Rosie. But, Oh! how much wiser Janet was than I, that night. But I did
not think so at the time. I was wild to be set free from the present,
and to have my own will and go away. It was well that circumstances
were too strong for me. It has come true, as Janet said. I think it is
better for us all that I have been at home all those years. Fanny and I
have done each other good. It has been better for us all."