Frien'ship maks us a' mair happy,
Frien'ship gies us a' delight;
Frien'ship consecrates the drappie,
Frien'ship brings us here to-night.
ROBERT BURNS.
At the opening of this story, about six months had elapsed since Rankin
had been licensed to prey upon the public, and as yet he had not
despoiled it to any great extent. If he had kept body and soul together,
it was done in ways that are not enticing to young gentlemen who dream
of attacking the law single-handed.
An old lawyer named Bean had an office in the lower part of Tremaine
Buildings, and Maurice arranged with him to occupy one of the ancient
desks in his office, and, in consideration of answering all questions as
to the whereabouts of Mr. Bean, the privilege of office-room was given
to him rent-free. As Mr. Bean had no clients, and as Rankin never knew
where he was, this duty was a light one. He also had from Mr. Bean the
privilege of putting his name up on the door, and, of course, as
frequently and as alluringly along the passage and on the stairs as he
might think desirable. But it was set out very clearly in the agreement,
which Rankin carefully drew up and Bean pretended to revise, that Mr.
Rankin should not in any way interfere with the clients of Mr. Bean, and
that Mr. Bean should not in any way interfere with the clients of the
aforesaid Rankin.
Bean had a little money, which he seemed to spend exclusively in the
consumption of mixed drinks; and whatever else he did during the day,
besides expending his income in this way, certainly engrossed his
attention to a very large extent. When he looked into the office daily,
or, say, bi-weekly, it was only for a few moments--except when he fell
asleep in his chair.
It was after he had been five or six months with Mr. Bean that Geoffrey
Hampstead had asked Rankin to dinner. He locked up the office about five
o'clock, having closed the dampers in the stove (Bean supplied the
coal--a great relief) and putting the key in his pocket, he ascended to
No. 173 for a while, and then he came down to Hampstead's chambers,
where he found our two bank friends taking a glass of sherry and bitters
to give their appetites a tone, which was a very unnecessary proceeding.
"Hello, old man! How are you?" cried Hampstead in a hearty voice,
handing him a wine glass.
"Ah! How am I? Just so!" quoth Rankin, helping himself. "How should a
man be, who is on the high road to fortune?"
"He ought to be pretty chirpy, I should think," said Jack.
"Chirpy! That's the word. 'Chirpy' describes me. So does 'fit.' The
money is rolling in, gentlemen. Business is on the full upward boom, and
I feel particularly 'fit' to-day--also chirpy."
"Got a partnership?" inquired Geoffrey, with interest.
"I suppose you mean a partnership with Mr. Bean, and I answer
emphatically 'No.' I refer to _my own_ business, sir, and I have no
intention of taking Mr. Bean into partnership. Bean is dying for a
partnership with me. Sha'n't take Bean in. A client of mine came in
to-day--"
"Great Scott! you haven't got a client, have you?" cried Geoffrey,
starting from his chair.
"Don't interrupt me," said Mr. Rankin. "As I was saying," he added with
composure, "a client of mine--"
"No, no, Morry! This is too much. If you want us to believe you, give us
some particulars about this client--just as an evidence of good faith,
you know."
"The client you are so inquisitive about," said Rankin, with dignity,
"is a lady who has been, in a sense, prematurely widowed--"
"It's Mrs. Priest," said Jack, turning to Geoffrey. "He has been
defending her for stealing coal, sure as you're born!"
"The lady came to me," said Maurice, taking no notice of the
interruption, "about a month ago, apparently with a view to taking
proceedings for alimony--at least her statement suggested this--"
"By Jove, this is getting interesting!" said Jack.
"But on questioning the unfortunate woman as to her means, I found that
her funds were in a painfully low condition--in fact, at a disgustingly
low ebb, viewed from a professional standpoint. And I also found that
her husband had offered her four dollars a week, to be paid weekly, on
condition that he should never see her and that somebody else should
collect the money. The husband was evidently a bold, bad man to have
given rise to the outbursts of jealously which it pained me to listen
to, and the poor lady, forgetful of my presence, and with all the
ability of an ancient prophet, denounced two or three women both jointly
and severally. She then roused herself, and asked what I would charge to
collect her four dollars per week. This seemed to decide the alimony
suit in the negative, and from the fact that she was, not to put too
fine a point upon it, three parts drunk at the time, I thought it better
to say what I would do. So now I collect four dollars a week from her
husband and pay it over to her every Saturday, for which I deduct, each
time, the sum of twenty-five cents. There is a good deal of money to be
made in the practice of the law."
"What about the husband?" asked Jack, laughing.
"I believe that I was invited to-day to dine--at least I came with that
intention. Instead of talking any more, I would be better satisfied if
somebody produced so much as the photograph of a chicken--and after that
I will further to you unfold my tale."
Mr. Rankin slapped a waistcoat that appeared to be unduly slack about
the lower buttons.
They then repaired to the club, where, having but a small appetite
himself, and the representatives of bank distinguishing themselves more
than he could as trenchermen, Rankin kept the ball rolling by relating
his experiences as a barrister, which seemed to amuse his two friends.
These experiences, leading to police-court items and police-court
savages, brought up the question of "What is a savage?"--which
introduced the Fuegians, the wild natives of Queensland, the Mayalans,
and others, with whom Hampstead compared the lowest-class Irish. He had
profited by much travel and reading, and anthropology was a subject on
which he could be rather brilliant. To show how our civilization is a
mere veneer, he drew a comparison between savage and civilized fashions,
and brought out facts culled from many different peoples--not omitting
Schweinfurth's Monbuttoo women--as to the primitive nature of the
dress-improver. Then, somehow, the conversation got back to the police
court, and the question, "What is a criminal?" and they agreed that if
the harm done to others was one criterion of guilt, it seemed a pity
that some things--woman's gossip, for instance--went so frequently
unpunished.
"And I think," broke in Cresswell, after the subject had been well
thrashed, "that you two fellows are talking a good deal of what you know
very little about. After all your chatter, I think the point is right
here (and I put it in the old-fashioned way). If one does wrong he
violates his own appreciation of right, and his guilt can only be
measured by the way he tramples on his conscience, and as conscience
varies in almost every person, I think we had better give up wading into
abstractions and come down to the concrete--to the solid enjoyment of a
pipe." And Jack pushed back his chair.
"Then, according to you, Jack, a fellow with no conscience would in
human judgment have no guilt," laughed Hampstead.
"I don't believe there exists a sane man in the world without a
conscience," replied Jack, with his own optimism.
"I don't think I agree with you," said Rankin. "I feel sure there are
men who, if they ever had a conscience, have trained it into such
elasticity that they may be said to have none. Do you not think so,
Hampstead?"
"Really, I hardly know. I haven't thought much upon the subject, but I
think we ought, if we do possess any conscience ourselves, to give Jack
a chance to light his pipe."
They soon sauntered back to the Tremaine Buildings, where Jack sat down
at the piano and played to them. While Jack played on, Geoffrey seemed
interested in police-court items, but Rankin preferred listening to
Beethoven and Mozart to "talking shop." After they had sung some
sea-songs together and chatted over a glass of "something short," Rankin
said good-night and mounted to No. 173 on the invisible stairs with as
much activity as if daylight were assisting him.
Having lit his lamp, he soliloquized, as he attended to some faults in
his complexion before a small looking-glass, "So I have got another
client, I perceive. That dinner to-day was a fee--nothing else in the
world. I don't know now that I altogether like my new client. He
evidently didn't get what he wanted. Perhaps Jack was in the way. Now, I
wonder what the beggar _does_ want. Chances are I'll have another dinner
soon. Happy thought! make him keep on dining me _ad infinitum_!
Ornamental dinner! Pleasant change!"
Maurice undressed and walked up and down the room. "Perhaps I am all
wrong, though," said he. "I can't help liking him in many ways, and he's
chock-full of interesting information. How odd that he didn't know
anything about a fellow having no conscience. Hadn't thought over that
idea. Very likely! Gad! I could imagine him just such a one, now that I
have got suspicious. He has a bad eye when he doesn't look after it. It
doesn't always smile along with his mouth. I may be wrong, but I believe
there's something there that's not the clean wheat," and Maurice
ascended to the woolsack and disappeared for the night.