CHAPTER III. ON FESTAL DAYS

The celebration of a memorial day by outward forms was one of my

mother’s customs; for, spite of her sincerity of feeling, she favoured

external ceremonies, and tried when we were very young to awaken a sense

of their meaning in our minds.

On all festal occasions we children were freshly dressed from top to

toe, and all of us, including the servants, had cakes at breakfast, and

the older ones wine at dinner.

On the birthdays these cakes were surrounded by as many candles as we

numbered years, and provision was always made for a dainty arrangement

of gifts. While we were young, my mother distinguished the “birthday

child”--probably in accordance with some custom of her native

country--by a silk scarf. She liked to celebrate her own birthday, too,

and ever since I can remember--it was on the 25th of July--we had a

picnic at that time.

We knew that it was a pleasure to her to see us at her table on

that day, and, up to the last years of her life, all whose vocations

permitted met at her house on the anniversary.

She went to church on Sunday, and on Good Friday she insisted that

my sisters as well as her self should wear black, not only during the

service, but throughout the rest of the day.

Few children enjoyed a more beautiful Christmas than ours, for under the

tree adorned with special love each found the desire of his or her

heart gratified, while behind the family gift-table there always stood

another, on which several poorer people whom I might call “clients” of

the household, discovered presents which suited their needs. Among them,

up to the time I went as a boy of eleven to Keilhau, I never failed

to see my oldest sister’s nurse with her worthy husband, the shoemaker

Grossman, and their well-behaved children. She gladly permitted us to

share in the distribution of the alms liberally bestowed on the needy.

The seeming paradox, “No one ever grew poor by giving,” I first heard

from her lips, and she more than once found an opportunity to repeat it.

We, however, never valued her gifts of money so highly as the trouble

and inconveniences she cheerfully encountered to aid or add to the

happiness of others by means of the numerous relations formed in her

social life and the influence gained mainly by her own gracious nature.

Many who are now occupying influential positions owe their first start

or have had the path smoothed for them by her kindness.

As in many Berlin families, the Christmas Man came to us--an old man

disguised by a big beard and provided with a bag filled with nuts and

bonbons and sometimes trifling gifts. He addressed us in a feigned

voice, saying that the Christ Child had sent him, but the dainties he

had were intended only for the good children who could recite some thing

for him. Of course, provision for doing this had been made. Everybody

pressed forward, but the Christmas Man kept order, and only when each

had repeated a little verse did he open the bag and distribute its

contents among us.

Usually the Christmas Man brought a companion, who followed him in the

guise of Knecht Ruprecht with his own bag of presents, and mingled with

his jests threats against naughty children.

The carp served on Christmas eve in every Berlin family, after the

distribution of gifts, and which were never absent from my mother’s

table, I have always had on my own in Jena, Leipsic, and Munich, or

wherever the evening of December 24th might find us. On the whole, we

remain faithful to the Christmas customs of my own home, which vary

little from those of the Germans in Riga, where my wife’s family belong;

nay, it is so hard for me to relinquish such childish habits, that, when

unable to procure a Christmas tree for the two “Eves” I spent on the

Nile, I decked a young palm and fastened candles on it. My mother’s

permission that Knecht Ruprecht should visit us was contrary to her

principle never to allow us to be frightened by images of horror. Nay,

if she heard that the servants threatened us with the Black Man and

other hobgoblins of Berlin nursery tales, she was always very angry. The

arguments by which my wife induced me to banish the Christmas Man and

Knecht Ruprecht seem still more cogent, now that I think I understand

the hearts of children. It is certainly far more beautiful and just

as easy-if we desire to utilize Christmas gifts for educational

purposes--to stimulate children to goodness by telling them of the

pleasure it will give the little Christ Child, rather than by filling

them with dread of Knecht Ruprecht.

True, my mother did not fail to endeavor to inspire us with love for

the Christ Child and the Saviour, and to draw us near to him. She saw in

him, above all else, the embodiment of love, and loved him because her

loving heart understood his. In after years my own investigation and

thought brought me to the same conviction which she had reached through

the relation of her feminine nature to the person and teachings of her

Saviour. I perceived that the world as Jesus Christ found it owes

him nothing grander, more beautiful, loftier, or more pregnant with

importance than that he widened the circle of love which embraced only

the individual, the family, the city, or, at the utmost, the country

of which a person was a citizen, till it included all mankind, and this

human love, of which my mother’s life gave us practical proof, is the

banner under which all the genuine progress of mankind in later years

has been made.

Nineteen centuries have passed since the one that gave us Him who died

on the cross, and how far we are still from a perfect realization of

this noblest of all the emotions of the heart and spirit! And yet, on

the day when this human love has full sway, the social problems which

now disturb so many minds and will permit the brains of our best

citizens to take no rest, will be solved.

OTHER OBLIGATIONS TO MY MOTHER, AND A SUMMARY OF THE NEW

AND GREAT EVENTS WHICH BEFELL THE GERMANS DURING MY LIFE.

I omit saying more of my mother’s religious feelings and relations to

God, because I know that it would be contrary to her wishes to inform

strangers of the glimpse she afterward afforded me of the inmost depths

of her soul.

That, like every other mother, she clasped our little hands in prayer is

a matter of course. I could not fall asleep until she had done this

and given me my good-night kiss. How often I have dreamed of her when,

before going to some entertainment, she came in full evening dress to

hear me repeat my little prayer and bid us good-bye!

But she also provided most carefully for the outward life; nay,

perhaps she laid a little too much stress upon our manners in greeting

strangers, at table, and elsewhere.

Among these forms I might number the fluent use of the French language,

which my mother early bestowed upon us as if its acquisition was mere

sport-bestowed; for, unhappily, I know of no German grammar school

where pupils can learn to speak French with facility; and how many

never-to-be-forgotten memories of travel, what great benefits during my

period of study in Paris I owe to this capacity! We obtained it by the

help of bonnes, who found it easier to speak French to us because our

mother always did the same in their presence.

My mother considered it of the first importance to make us familiar

with French at a very early age, because, when she reached Berlin with

a scanty knowledge of German, her mastery of French secured numerous

pleasant things. She often told us how highly French was valued in the

capital, and we must believe that the language possesses an imperishable

charm for Germans when we remember that this was the case so shortly

after the glorious uprising against the terrible despotism of France.

True, French, in addition to its melody and ambiguity, possesses more

subtle turns and apt phrases than most other languages; and even the

most German of Germans, our Bismarck, must recognize the fitness of its

phrases, because he likes to avail himself of them. He has a perfect

knowledge of French, and I have noticed that, whenever he mingles

it with German, the former has some sentence which enables him to

communicate in better and briefer language whatever he may desire to

express. What German form of speech, for instance, can convey the idea

of fulness which will permit no addition so well as the French popular

saying, “Full as an egg,” which pleased me in its native land, and

which first greeted me in Germany as an expression used by the great

chancellor?

My mother’s solicitude concerning good manners and perfection

in speaking French, which so easily renders children mere dolls,

fortunately could not deprive us of our natural freshness and freedom

from constraint. But if any peril to the character does lurk in being

unduly mindful of external forms, we three brothers were destined to

spend a large portion of our boyhood amid surroundings which, as

it were, led us back to Nature. Besides, even in Berlin we were not

forbidden to play like genuine boys. We had no lack of playmates of

both sexes, and with them we certainly talked and shouted no French, but

sturdy Berlin German.

In winter, too, we were permitted to enjoy ourselves out of doors, and

few boys made handsomer snow-men than those our worthy Kurschner--always

with the order in his buttonhole--helped us build in Thiergartenstrasse.

In the house we were obliged to behave courteously, and when I recall

the appearance of things there I become vividly aware that no series

of years witnessed more decisive changes in every department of life in

Germany than those of my boyhood. The furnishing of the rooms differed

little from that of the present day, except that the chairs and tables

were somewhat more angular and the cushions less comfortable. Instead of

the little knobs of the electric bells, a so-called “bell-rope,” about

the width of one’s hand, provided with a brass or metal handle, hung

beside the doors.

The first introduction of gas into the city was made by an English

company about ten years before my birth; but how many oil lamps I still

saw burning, and in my school days the manufacturing city of Kottbus,

which at that time contained about ten thousand inhabitants, was lighted

by them! In my childhood gas was not used in the houses and theatres of

Berlin, and kerosene had not found its way to Germany. The rooms were

lighted by oil lamps and candles, while the servants burned tallow-dips.

The latter were also used in our nursery, and during the years which I

spent at school in Keilhau all our studying was done by them.

Matches were not known. I still remember the tinder box in the kitchen,

the steel, the flint, and the threads dipped in sulphur. The sparks made

by striking fell on the tinder and caught it on fire here and there.

Soon after the long, rough lucifer matches appeared, which were dipped

into a little bottle filled, I believe, with asbestos wet with sulphuric

acid.

We never saw the gardener light his pipe except with flint, steel,

and tinder. The gun he used had a firelock, and when he had put first

powder, then a wad, then shot, and lastly another wad into the barrel,

he was obliged to shake some powder into the pan, which was lighted by

the sparks from the flint striking the steel, if the rain did not make

it too damp.

For writing we used exclusively goose-quills, for though steel pens were

invented soon after I was born, they were probably very imperfect; and,

moreover, had to combat a violent prejudice, for at the first school we

attended we were strictly forbidden to use them. So the penknife played

an important part on every writing-desk, and it was impossible to

imagine a good penman who did not possess skill in the art of shaping

the quills.

What has been accomplished between 1837 and the present date in the way

of means of communication I need not recapitulate. I only know how long

a time was required for a letter from my mother’s brothers--one was a

resident of Java and the other lived as “Opperhoofd” in Japan--to reach

Berlin, and how often an opportunity was used, generally through the

courtesy of the Netherland embassy, for sending letters or little

gifts to Holland. A letter forwarded by express was the swiftest way of

receiving or giving news; but there was the signal telegraph, whose arms

we often saw moving up and down, but exclusively in the service of the

Government. When, a few years ago, my mother was ill in Holland, a

reply to a telegram marked “urgent” was received in Leipsic in eighteen

minutes. What would our grandparents have said to such a miracle?

We were soon to learn by experience the number of days required to reach

my mother’s home from Berlin, for there was then no railroad to Holland.

The remarkable changes wrought during my lifetime in the political

affairs of Germany I can merely indicate here. I was born in despotic

Prussia, which was united to Austria and the German states and small

countries by a loosely formed league. As guardians of this wretched

unity the various courts sent diplomats to Frankfort, who interrupted

their careless mode of life only to sharpen distrust of other courts or

suppress some democratic movement.

The Prussian nation first obtained in 1848 the liberties which had been

secured at an earlier date by the other German states, and nothing gives

me more cause for gratitude than the boon of being permitted to see the

realization and fulfilment of the dream of so many former generations,

and my dismembered native land united into one grand, beautiful whole. I

deem it a great happiness to have been a contemporary of Emperor William

I, Bismarck, and Von Moltke, witnessed their great deeds as a man of

mature years, and shared the enthusiasm they evoked and which enabled

these men to make our German Fatherland the powerful, united empire it

is to-day.

The journey to Holland closes the first part of my childhood. I look

back upon it as a beautiful, unshadowed dream out of doors or in a

pleasant house where everybody loved me. But I could not single out the

years, months, or days of this retrospect. It is only a smooth stream

which bears us easily along. There is no series of events, only

disconnected images--a faithful dog, a picture on the wall, above all

the love and caresses of the mother lavished specially on me as the

youngest, and the most blissful of all sounds in the life of a German

child, the ringing of the little bell announcing that the Christmas tree

is ready.

Only in after days, when the world of fairyland and legend is left

behind, does the child have any idea of consecutive events and human

destinies. The stories told by mother and grandmother about Snow-White,

the Sleeping Beauty, the giants and the dwarfs, Cinderella, the stable

at Bethlehem where the Christ-Child lay in the manger beside the oxen

and asses, the angels who appeared to the shepherds singing “Glory to

God in the Highest,” the three kings and the star which led them to the

Christ-Child, are firmly impressed on his memory. I don’t know how young

I was when I saw the first picture of the kings in their purple robes

kneeling before the babe in its mother’s lap, but its forms and hues

were indelibly stamped upon my mental vision, and I never forgot its

meaning. True, I had no special thoughts concerning it; nay, I scarcely

wondered to see kings in the dust before a child, and now, when I hear

the summons of the purest and noblest of Beings, “Suffer little children

to come unto me,” and understand the sacred simplicity of a child’s

heart, it no longer awakens surprise.

The Story of My Life — Complete · 第 3 / 26 章