'You must be dreaming,' cried Dr Maurice with energy. 'You must be
dreaming! With my--folly--and other things--you have got into a nervous
state.'
'I am not dreaming,' she said very quietly. There was no appearance of
excitement about her. She sat with her hands clasped tightly together,
and her eyes wandering into the unknown, into the vacant air before her.
And her mind had got possession of one burden, and went over and over
it, repeating within herself, 'John Sinclair, Thirty-fifth Avenue, New
York.'
'I will show you the same picture,' she went on. 'The very same, line
for line. It was the last he ever did. And in his letter he spoke of
Dives looking up----John Sinclair, Thirty-fifth Avenue, New York!'
'Helen, Helen!' said Dr Maurice with a look of pity. He had never
called her anything but Mrs Drummond till the evening before, and now
the other seemed so natural; for, in fact, she did not even notice what
he called her. 'How easy is it to account for all this! Some one else
must have seen the sketch, who was impressed by it as much as you were,
and who knew the artist was dead, and could never claim his property.
How easy to see how it may have been done, especially by a smart Yankee
abroad.'
She shook her head without a word, with a faint smile; argument made no
difference to her. She was sure; and what did it matter what any one
said?
'Then I will tell you what I will do,' he said. 'I have some friends in
New York. I will have inquiries made instantly about John Sinclair.
Indeed it is quite possible some one may know him here. I shall set
every kind of inquiry on foot to-morrow, to satisfy you. I warn you
nothing will come of it--nothing would make me believe such a thing; but
still, to prevent you taking any rash steps----'
'I will take no rash steps,' she said. 'I will do nothing. I will wait
till--I hear.'
'Why this is madness,' he said. And then all at once a cold shudder
passed over him, and he said to himself, 'Good God! what if she had not
refused last night!'
But the very fact that she had refused was a kind of guarantee that
there was nothing in this wild idea of hers. Had there been anything in
it, of course she would have accepted, and all sorts of horrors would
have ensued. Such was Dr Maurice's opinion of Providence, and the
opinion of many other judicious people. The fact that a sudden
re-appearance would do no harm made it so much less likely that there
would be any re-appearance. He tried hard to dismiss the idea altogether
from his mind. It was not a comfortable idea. It is against all the
traditions, all the prejudices of life, that a man should come back from
the dead. A wild, despairing Dives might wish for it, or a mourner half
frantic with excess of sorrow; but to the ordinary looker-on the idea is
so strange as to be painful. Dr Maurice had a true affection for Robert
Drummond; but he could not help feeling that it would be out of all
character, out of harmony, almost an offence upon decency, that he
should not be dead.
It was curious, however, what an effect this fancy of Helen's had in
clearing away the cloud of embarrassment which had naturally fallen
between her and him. All that produced that cloud had evidently
disappeared from her mind. She remembered it no more. It was not that
she had thrust it away of set will and purpose, but that without any
effort it had disappeared. This was, it is true, somewhat humiliating to
Dr Maurice; but it was very convenient for all the purposes of life that
it should be so. And she sat with him now and discussed the matter,
abstracted in the great excitement which had taken possession of her,
yet calmed by it, without a recollection that anything had ever passed
between them which could confuse their intercourse. This
unconsciousness, I say, was humiliating in one sense, though in another
it was a relief, to the man who did not forget; but it confused him
while it set Helen at her ease. It was so extraordinary to realise what
was the state of affairs yesterday, and what to-day--to enter into so
new and wonderful a region of possibilities, after having lived so long
in quite another; for, to be sure, Helen had only known of Dr Maurice's
project as regarded herself since last night; whereas, he had known it
for six months, and during all that time had been accustoming himself to
it, and now had to make a mental spring as far away from it as
possible--a kind of gymnastic exercise which has a very bewildering
effect upon an ordinary mind.
It was a relief to all the party when the Drummonds went home next
morning; except, perhaps, to the old aunt, who had grown interested in
the human drama thus unexpectedly produced before her, and who would
have liked to see it out. The mother and daughter were glad to go home;
and yet how life had changed to them in these three days! It had given
to Helen the glow of a wild, incomprehensible hope, a something
supernatural, mixed with terror and wonder, and a hundred conflicting
emotions; while to Norah it had taken the romance out of life. To
contemplate life without romance is hard upon a girl; to have a peep, as
it were, behind the scenes, and see the gold of fairy-land corroding
itself into slates, and the beauty into dust and ashes. Such a
revolution chills one to the very soul. It is almost worse than the
positive heart-break of disappointed love, for that has a warm admixture
of excitement, and is supported by the very sharpness of its own
suffering; whereas in Norah's pain there was but disenchantment and
angry humiliation, and that horrible sense that the new light was true
and the other false, which takes all courage from the heart. She had
told her mother, and Helen had been very indignant, but not so wroth as
her daughter. 'Lady Rivers might have no time to wait--she might have
wanted him for something urgent--there might be something to explain,'
Helen said; but as for Norah, she felt that no explanation was possible.
For months past this man had been making a show of his devotion to her.
He had done everything except ask her in words to be his wife. He had
been as her shadow, whenever he could come to Dura, and his visits had
been so frequent that it was very evident he had seized every
opportunity to come: yet the moment his mother appeared on the scene,
the woman whom in all the world he ought to have most wished to attach
to the girl whom he loved, he had left her with shame and
embarrassment--escaped from her without even the politeness of a
leave-taking. Norah had wondered whether she cared for him in the old
days; she had asked herself shyly, as girls do, whether the little
flutter of her heart at his appearance could possibly mean that
sacredest, most wonderful and fascinating of mysteries--love? Sometimes
she had been disposed to believe it did: and then again she had
surprised herself in the midst of a sudden longing for poor Ned with his
big nose, and had blushed and asked herself angrily, was the one
compatible with the other? In short, she had not known what to make of
her own feelings; for she was not experienced enough to be able to tell
the difference--a difference which sometimes puzzles the wisest--between
the effect produced by gratified vanity, and pleasure in the love of
another, and that which springs from love itself. But she was in no
doubt about the anger, the mortification, the indignant shame with which
her whole nature rose up against the man who had dared to be ashamed of
her. Of this there could be no explanation. She said to herself that she
hoped he would not come again or attempt to make any explanation, and
then she resented bitterly the fact that he did not come. She had made
up her mind what she would say, how she would crush him with quiet
scorn, and wonder at his apologies. 'Why should you apologise, Mr
Rivers? I had no wish to be introduced to your mother,' she meant to
say; but as day after day passed, and he gave her no opportunity of
saying this, Norah's thoughts grew more bitter, more fiery than ever.
And life was dull without this excitement in it. The weather was bright,
and the season sweet, and I suppose she had her share of rational
pleasure as in other seasons; but to her own consciousness Norah was
bitterly ill-used, insomuch as she had not an opportunity to tell, or at
least to show Cyril Rivers what she thought of him. It had been an
immediate comfort to her after the affront he had put upon her, that
she would have this in her power.
The change that had come upon the lives of the two ladies in the
Gatehouse was, however, scarcely apparent to their little world. Norah
was a little out of temper, fitful, and ready to take offence, the
Daltons at the Rectory thought; and Mrs Drummond was more silent than
usual, and had an absorbed look in her eyes, a look of abstraction for
which it was difficult to account. But this was all that was apparent
outside. Perhaps Mr Rivers was a little longer than usual in visiting
Dura; he had not been there for ten days, and Katie Dalton wondered
audibly what had become of him. But nobody except Norah supposed for a
moment that his connection with Dura was to be broken off in this sudden
way. And everything else went on as usual. If Mrs Drummond was less
frequently visible, no one remarked it much. Norah would run over and
ask Katie to walk with her, on the plea that 'mamma has a headache,' and
Mrs Dalton would gather her work together, and cross the road in the
sunshine and 'sit with' the sufferer. But the only consequence of this
visit would be that the blinds would be drawn down over the three
windows in front, Mrs Dalton having an idea that light was bad for a
headache, and that when she returned she would tell her eldest daughter
that poor dear Mrs Drummond was very poorly, and very anxious for news
of a friend whom she had not heard of for years.
And the picture of Dives, which had been hung in a sacred corner, where
Helen said her prayers, was brought out, and placed in the full light of
day. It was even for a time brought down-stairs, while the first glow of
novel hope and wonder lasted, and placed in the drawing-room, where
everybody who saw it wondered at it. It was not so well painted as the
great picture in the Academy. It was even different in many of its
details. There was no hope in the face of this, but only a haggard
passionate despair, while the look of the other was concentrated into
such an agony of appealing as cannot exist where there is no hope. Dr
Maurice even, when he came down, declared forcibly that it was difficult
for him to trace the resemblance. Perhaps the leading idea was the same,
but then it was so differently worked out. He looked at the picture in
every possible light, and this was the conclusion he came to;--No; no
particular resemblance,--a coincidence, that was all. And John Sinclair
was a perfectly well-known painter, residing in New York, a man known to
Dr Maurice's friends there. Why there was no name to the picture in the
catalogue nobody could tell. It was some absurd mistake or other; but
John Sinclair, the painter, was a man who had been known in New York for
years. 'Depend upon it, it is only a coincidence,' Dr Maurice said.
After that visit, from what feeling I cannot say, the picture was taken
back up-stairs. Not that Mrs Drummond was convinced, but that she shrank
from further discussion of a matter on which she felt so deeply. She
would sit before it for hours, gazing at it, careless of everything
else; and if I were to reproduce all the thoughts that coursed through
Helen's mind, I should do her injury with the reader, who, no doubt,
believes that the feelings in a wife's mind, when such a hope entered
it, could only be those of a half-delirious joy. But Helen's thoughts
were not wildly joyful. She had been hardly and painfully trained to do
without him, to put him out of her life. Her soul had slid into new
ways, changed meanings; and in that time what change of meaning, what
difference of nature, might have come to a man who had returned from
death and the grave? Could it all be undone? Could it float away like a
tale that is told, that tale of seven long years? Would the old
assimilate with the new, and the widow become a wife again without some
wrench, some convulsion of nature? Not long before she had denounced
the name vehemently, crying out against it, declaring that she did not
believe in it: but now, when perhaps it might turn out that her
widowhood had been indeed a fiction and unreal--now! How she was to be a
wife again; how her existence was to suffer a new change, and return
into its old channel, Helen could not tell. And yet that Robert should
live again, that he should receive some recompense for all his
sufferings; that even she who had been in her way so cruel to him,
should be able to make up for it--for that Helen would have given her
life. The news about John Sinclair was a discouragement, but still it
did not touch her faith. She carried her picture up-stairs again, and
put it reverently, not in its old corner, but where the sunshine would
fall upon it and the full light of day. The fancifulness of this
proceeding did not occur to her, for grief and hope, and all the deeper
emotions of the heart, are always fanciful: and in this time of
suspense, when she could do nothing, when she was waiting, listening for
indications of what was coming, that silent idol-worship which no one
knew of, did her good.
Meanwhile Dura went on blazing with lights, and sweet with music, making
every day a holiday. Mrs Burton did not walk so much as she used to do,
but drove about, giving her orders, paying her visits, with beautiful
horses which half the county envied, and toilettes which would have been
remarked even in the park. 'That little woman is losing her head,' the
Rector said, as he looked at an invitation his wife had just received
for a fête which was to eclipse all the others, and which was given in
celebration of Clara's birthday. It was fixed for the 6th of July, and
people were coming to it from far and near. There was to be a garden
party first, a sumptuous so-called breakfast, and a ball at night. The
whole neighbourhood was agitated by the preparations for this solemnity.
It was said that Ned, poor Ned, whose disappearance was now an old
story, was to be disinherited, and that Clara was to be the heiress of
all. The importance thus given to her birthday gave a certain colour to
the suggestion; it was like a coming of age, people said, and replaced
the festivities which ought to have taken place on the day when Ned
completed his twenty-first year, a day which had passed very quietly a
few weeks before, noted by none. But to Clara's birthday feast everybody
was invited. The great county people, the Merewethers themselves, were
coming, and in consideration of Clara's possible heiress-ship, it was
whispered that the Marchioness had thoughts of making her son a
candidate for the place deserted by Cyril Rivers. Cyril, too, moreover,
was among the guests; he was one of a large party which was coming from
town; and the village people were asked, the Daltons and the Drummonds,
beside all the lesser gentry of the neighbourhood. It was to Katie
Dalton's importunate beseechings, seconded, no doubt, by her own heart,
which had begun to tire of seclusion and long for a little pleasure,
that Norah relinquished her first proud determination not to go; and Dr
Maurice had just sent a box from town containing two dresses, one for
the evening, and one for out-of-doors, which it was beyond the powers of
any girl of nineteen to refuse the opportunity of wearing. When Norah
had made up her own mind to this effort, she addressed herself to the
task of overcoming her mother's reluctance; and, after much labour,
succeeded so far that a compromise was effected. Norah went to the
out-door fête, under the charge of Mrs Dalton, and Helen with a sigh
took out her black silk gown once more, and prepared to go with her
child in the evening. The Daltons were always there, good neighbours to
support and help her; and seated by Mrs Dalton's side, who knew
something of her anxiety about that friend whom she had not heard of for
years, Mrs Drummond felt herself sustained. When Norah returned with
the Daltons from the garden party, Mr Rivers accompanied the girls. He
came with them to the door of the Gatehouse, where Katie, secretly held
fast by Norah, accompanied her friend. He lingered on the white steps,
waiting to be asked in; but Norah gave no such invitation. She went back
to her mother triumphant, full of angry delight.
'I have been perfectly civil to him, mamma! I have taken the greatest
care--I have not avoided him, nor been stiff to him, nor anything. And
he has tried so hard, so very hard, to have an explanation. Very likely!
as if I would listen to any explanation.'
'How did you avoid it, Norah, if you were neither angry nor stiff?'
'Katie, mamma, always Katie! I put her between him and me wherever we
went. It was fun,' cried Norah, with eyes that sparkled with revengeful
satisfaction. Her spirits had risen to the highest point. She had
regained her position; she had got the upper hand, which Norah loved.
The prospect of the evening which was still before her, in which she
should wear that prettiest ball-dress, which surely had been made by the
fairies, and drag Cyril Rivers at her chariot-wheels, and show him
triumphantly how little it mattered to her, made Norah radiant. She
rushed in to the Haldanes' side of the house to show herself, in the
wildest spirits. Mrs Haldane and Miss Jane--wonder of wonders--were
going too; everybody was to be there. The humble people were asked to
behold and ratify the triumph, as well as the fine people to make it. As
for Mrs Haldane, she disapproved, and was a great deal more grim than
ordinary; but, for once in a way, because it would be a great thing to
see, and because Mr Baldwin and his sisters were to be there too,--'as
much out of their proper place as we,' she said, shaking her head,--she
had allowed herself to be persuaded. Miss Jane required no persuading.
She was honestly delighted to have a chance of seeing anything--the
dresses and the diamonds, and Norah dancing with all the grandees. When
Norah came in, all in a cloud of tulle and lace, Miss Jane fairly
screamed with delight. 'I am quite happy to think I shall see the child
have one good dance,' she said, walking round and round the fairy
princess. 'Were you fond of dancing yourself, Miss Jane?' said Norah,
not without the laugh of youth over so droll an idea. But it was not
droll to Miss Jane; she put her hands, which were clothed in black with
mittens, on the child's shoulders, and gave her a kiss, and answered
not a word. And Stephen looked on from that immovable silent post of
his, and saw them both, and thought of the past and present, and all the
shadowy uncertain days that were to come. How strange to think of the
time when Miss Jane, so grave and prosaic in her old-maidish gown, had
been like Norah! How wonderful to think that Norah one day might be as
Miss Jane! And so they all went away to the ball together, and Stephen
in his chair immovable till his nurses came back, and Susan bustling
about in the kitchen, were left in the house alone.
One ball is like another; and except that the Dura ball was more
splendid, more profuse in ornament, gayer in banks of flowers, richer in
beautiful dresses and finery, more ambitious in music, than any ball
ever known before in the country, there is little that could be said of
it to distinguish it from all others, except, perhaps, the curious fact
that the master of the house was not present. He had not been visible
all day. He had been telegraphed for to go to town that morning, and had
not returned; but then Mr Golden, who was a far more useful man in a
ball-room than the master of the house, was present, and was doing all
that became a man to make everything go off brilliantly. He was the
slave of the young heroine of the feast to whom everybody was paying
homage; and it was remarked by a great many people, that even when going
on the arm of Lord Merewether to open the ball, Clara had a suggestion
to whisper to this amateur majordomo. 'He is such an old friend; he is
just the same as papa,' she said to her partner with a passing blush;
but then Clara was in uncommonly brilliant looks that evening, even for
her. Her beautiful colour kept coming and going; there was an air of
emotion, and almost agitation, about her, which gave a charm to her
usually unemotional style of beauty. Lord Merewether, who was under his
mother's orders to be 'very attentive,' almost fell in love with Clara,
in excess of his instructions, when he noticed this unusual fluctuation
of colour and tone. It supplied just what she wanted, and made the
Rubens into a goddess--or so at least this young man thought.
But Helen had not been above an hour in this gay scene when a strange
restlessness seized upon her. She did her best to struggle against it;
she tried hard to represent to herself that nothing could have happened
at home, no post could have come in since she left it, and that Norah
needed her there. She saw Mr Rivers hovering about with his explanation
on his lips trying to get at her, since Norah would have nothing to say
to him; and felt that it was her duty to remain by her child at such a
moment. But, after a while, her nerves, or her imagination, or some
incomprehensible influence was too much for her. 'You look as if you
would faint,' Mrs Dalton whispered to her. 'Let Mr Dalton take you to
the air--let Charlie get you something; I am sure you are ill.'
'I am not ill; but I must get home. I am wanted at home,' said Helen
with her brain swimming. How it was that she did it, she never could
tell afterwards; but she managed to retain command of herself, to
recommend Norah to Mrs Dalton's care, and finally to steal out; no one
noticing her in the commotion and movement that were always going on.
When she got into the open air with her shawl wrapped about her, her
senses came back. It was foolish, it was absurd--but the deed was done;
and, though her restlessness calmed down when she stepped out into the
calm of the summer night, it was easier then to go on than to go back;
and Norah was in safe hands. It was a moonlight night, as is
indispensable for any great gathering in the country. To be sure it was
July, and before the guests went home, the short night would be over;
but still, according to habit, a moonlight night had been selected. It
was soft, and warm, and hazy,--the light very mellow, and not over
bright,--the scent of the flowers and the glitter of the dew filling the
air. There was so much moon, and so much light from the house, that
Helen was not afraid of the dark avenue. She went on, relieved of her
anxiety, feeling refreshed and eased, she could not tell how, by the
blowing of the scented night-air in her face. But before she reached the
shade of the avenue, some one rushed across the lawn after her. She
turned half round to see who it was, thinking that perhaps Charlie or Mr
Dalton had hurried after her to accompany her home. The figure, however,
was not that of either. The man came hurriedly up to her, saying, in a
low but earnest tone, 'Mrs Burton, don't take any rash step,' when she,
as well as he, suddenly started. The voice informed her who spoke, and
the sight of her upturned face in the moonlight informed him who
listened. 'Mrs Drummond!' he exclaimed. They had not met face to face,
nor exchanged words since the time when she denounced him in the
presence of Cyril Rivers in St Mary's Road. 'Mrs Drummond,' he repeated,
with an uneasy laugh; 'of all times in the world for you and me to
meet!'
'I hope there is no reason why we should meet,' said Helen impetuously.
'I am going away. There can be nothing that wants saying between you and
me.'
'But, by Jove, there is though,' he said; 'there is reason enough, I can
tell you--such news as will make the hair stand upright on your head.
Ah! they say revenge is sweet. I shall leave you to find it out
to-morrow when everybody knows.'
'What is it?' she asked breathlessly, and then stopped, and went on a
few steps, horrified at the thought of thus asking information from the
man she hated most. He went on along with her, saying nothing. He had no
hat on, and the rose in his coat showed a little gleam of colour in the
whitening of the light.
'You ought to ask me, Mrs Drummond,' he said; 'for revenge, they say, is
sweet, and you would be glad to hear.'
'I want no revenge,' she said hurriedly; and they entered the gloom of
the avenue side by side, the strangest pair. Her heart began to beat and
flutter--she could not tell why; for she feared nothing from him; and
all at once there rose up a gleam of secret triumph in her. This man
believed that Robert Drummond was dead, knew no better. What did she
care for his news? if indeed she were to tell him hers!
'Well,' he said, after an interval, 'I see you are resolved not to ask,
so I will tell you. I have my revenge in it too, Mrs Drummond; this
night, when they are all dancing, Burton is off, with the police after
him. It will be known to all the world to-morrow. You ought to be
grateful to me for telling you that.'
'Burton is off!--the police--after him!' She did not take in the meaning
of the words.
'You don't believe me, perhaps--neither did his wife just now; or at
least so she pretended; but it is true. There was a time when he left me
to bear the brunt, now it is his turn; and there is a ball at his house
the same night!'
She interrupted him hurriedly. 'I don't know what you mean. I cannot
believe you. What has he done?' she said.
Mr Golden laughed; and in the stillness his laugh sounded strangely
echoing among the trees. He turned round on his heel, waving his hand to
her. 'Only what all the rest of us have done,' he said. 'Good night; I
am wanted at the ball. I have a great deal to do to-night.'
She stood for a moment where he had left her, wondering, half paralysed.
And then she turned and went slowly down the avenue. She felt herself
shake and tremble--she could not tell why. Was it this man's voice? Was
it his laugh that sounded like something infernal? And what did it all
mean? Helen, who was a brave woman by nature, felt a flutter of fear as
she quickened her steps and went on. A ball at his house--the police
after him. What did it mean? The silence of the long leafy road was so
strange and deep after all the sound and movements; the music pursued
her from behind, growing fainter and fainter as she went on; the world
seemed to be all asleep, except that part of it which was making merry,
dancing, and rejoicing at Dura. And now the eagerness to get home
suddenly seized upon her again,--something must have happened since she
left; some letter; perhaps--some one--come back.
When she got within sight of the Gatehouse, the moon was shining right
down the village street as it did when it was at the full. All was
quiet, silent, asleep. No, not all. Opposite her house, against the
Rectory gates, two men were standing. As she went up into the shadow of
the lime-trees, and rang the bell at her own door, one of them crossed
the road, and came up to her touching his hat. 'Asking your pardon,
ma'am,' he said, 'there is some one in your house, if you're the lady of
this house, as oughtn't to be there.'
A thrill of great terror took possession of Helen. Her heart leapt to
her mouth. 'I don't understand you. Who are you? And what do you want?'
she asked, almost gasping for breath.
'I'm a member of the detective force. I ain't ashamed of my business,'
said the man. 'We seen him go in, me and my mate. With your permission,
ma'am, we'd like to go through the house.'
'Go through my house at this hour!' cried Helen. She heard the door
opened behind her, but did not turn round. She was the guardian of the
house, she alone, and of all who were in it, be they who they might. Her
wits seemed to come to her all at once, as if she had found them groping
in the dark. 'Have you any authority to go into my house? Am I obliged
to let you in? Have you a warrant?'
'They've been a worriting already, ma'am, and you out,' said Susan's
voice from behind. 'What business have they, I'd like to know, in a
lady's house at this hour of the night?'
'Has any one come, Susan?' Helen said.
'Not a soul.'
She was standing with a candle in her hand, holding the door half open.
The night air puffed the flame; and perhaps it was that too that made
the shadow of Susan's cap tremble upon the panel of the door.
'I cannot possibly admit you at this hour,' said Mrs Drummond.
'To-morrow, if you come with any authority; but not to-night.'
She went into her own house, and closed the door. How still it was and
dark, with Susan's candle only flickering through the gloom! And then
Susan made a sudden clutch at her mistress's arm. She held the candle
down to Helen's face, and peered into it, 'I've atook him into my own
room,' she said.