CHAPTER II

DURING the wars of the Empire, while the husbands and brothers were in

Germany, the anxious mothers brought forth an ardent, pale, nervous

generation. Conceived between two battles, educated amidst the noises of

war, thousands of children looked about them with a somber eye while

testing their puny muscles. From time to time their blood-stained fathers

would appear, raise them on their gold-laced bosoms, then place them on

the ground and remount their horses.

The life of Europe was centered in one man; all were trying to fill their

lungs with the air which he had breathed. Every year France presented

that man with three hundred thousand of her youth; it was the tax paid to

Caesar, and, without that troop behind him, he could not follow his

fortune. It was the escort he needed that he might traverse the world,

and then perish in a little valley in a deserted island, under the

weeping willow.

Never had there been so many sleepless nights as in the time of that man;

never had there been seen, hanging over the ramparts of the cities, such

a nation of desolate mothers; never was there such a silence about those

who spoke of death. And yet there was never such joy, such life, such

fanfares of war, in all hearts. Never was there such pure sunlight as

that which dried all this blood. God made the sun for this man, they

said, and they called it the Sun of Austerlitz. But he made this sunlight

himself with his ever-thundering cannons which dispelled all clouds but

those which succeed the day of battle.

It was this air of the spotless sky, where shone so much glory, where

glistened so many swords, that the youth of the time breathed. They well

knew that they were destined to the hecatomb; but they regarded Murat as

invulnerable, and the emperor had been seen to cross a bridge where so

many bullets whistled that they wondered if he could die. And even if one

must die, what did it matter? Death itself was so beautiful, so noble, so

illustrious, in his battle-scarred purple! It borrowed the color of hope,

it reaped so many ripening harvests that it became young, and there was

no more old age. All the cradles of France, as all its tombs, were armed

with shield and buckler; there were no more old men, there were corpses

or demi-gods.

Nevertheless, the immortal emperor stood one day on a hill watching seven

nations engaged in mutual slaughter; as he did not know whether he would

be master of all the world or only half, Azrael passed along, touched him

with the tip of his wing, and pushed him into the Ocean. At the noise of

his fall, the dying powers sat up in their beds of pain; and stealthily

advancing with furtive tread, all the royal spiders made the partition of

Europe, and the purple of Caesar became the frock of Harlequin.

Just as the traveler, sure of his way, hastens night and day through rain

and sunlight, regardless of vigils or of dangers; but when he has reached

his home and seated himself before the fire, he is seized upon by a

feeling of extreme lassitude and can hardly drag himself to his bed: thus

France, the widow of Caesar, suddenly felt her wound. She fell through

sheer exhaustion, and lapsed into a sleep so profound that her old kings,

believing her dead, wrapped about her a white shroud. The old army, its

hair whitened in service, returned exhausted with fatigue, and the

hearths of deserted castles sadly flickered into life.

Then the men of the Empire, who had been through so much, who had lived

in such carnage, kissed their emaciated wives and spoke of their first

love; they looked into the fountains of their natal prairies and found

themselves so old, so mutilated, that they bethought themselves of their

sons, in order that they might close their eyes in peace. They asked

where they were; the children came from the schools, and seeing neither

sabers, nor cuirasses, neither infantry nor cavalry, they asked in turn

where were their fathers. They were told that the war was ended, that

Caesar was dead, and that the portraits of Wellington and of Blucher were

suspended in the antechambers of the consulates and the embassies, with

these two words beneath: _Salvatoribus mundi_.

Then there seated itself on a world in ruins an anxious youth. All the

children were drops of burning blood which had inundated the earth; they

were born in the bosom of war, for war. For fifteen years they had

dreamed of the snows of Moscow and of the sun of the pyramids. They had

not gone beyond their native towns; but they were told that through each

gate of these towns lay the road to a capital of Europe. They had in

their heads all the world; they beheld the earth, the sky, the streets

and the highways; all these were empty, and the bells of parish churches

resounded faintly in the distance.

Pale fantoms shrouded in black robes, slowly traversed the country;

others knocked at the doors of houses, and when admitted, drew from their

pockets large well-worn documents with which they drove out the tenants.

From every direction came men still trembling with the fear which had

seized them when they fled twenty years before. All began to urge their

claims, disputing loudly and crying for help; it was strange that a

single death should attract so many crows.

The king of France was on his throne, looking here and there to see if he

could perchance find a bee in the royal tapestry. Some held out their

hats, and he gave them money; others showed him a crucifix, and he kissed

it; others contented themselves with pronouncing in his ear great names

of powerful families, and he replied to these by inviting them into his

_grand' salle_, where the echoes were more sonorous; still others showed

him their old cloaks, when they had carefully effaced the bees, and to

these he gave new apparel.

The children saw all this, thinking that the spirit of Caesar would soon

land at Cannes and breathe upon this larva; but the silence was unbroken

and they saw floating in the sky only the paleness of the lily. When

these children spoke of glory, they were answered: "Become priests;" when

they spoke of hope, of love, of power, of life: "Become priests."

And yet there mounted the rostrum a man who held in his hand a contract

between the king and the people; he began by saying that glory was a

beautiful thing, and ambition and war as well; but there was something

still more beautiful, and it was called liberty.

The children raised their heads and remembered that their grandfathers

had spoken thus. They remembered having seen in certain obscure corners

of the paternal home mysterious marble busts with long hair and a Latin

inscription; they remembered seeing their grandsires shake their heads

and speak of a stream of blood more terrible than that of the emperor.

There was something in that word liberty that made their hearts beat with

the memory of a terrible past and the hope of a glorious future.

They trembled at the word; but returning to their homes they encountered

on the street three panniers which were being borne to Clamart; there

were, within, three young men who had pronounced that word liberty too

distinctly.

A strange smile hovered on their lips at that sad sight; but other

speakers, mounted on the rostrum, began to publicly estimate what

ambition had cost and how very dear was glory; they pointed out the

horror of war and called the hecatombs butcheries. And they spoke so

often and so long that all human illusions, like the trees in autumn,

fell leaf by leaf about them, and those who listened passed their hands

over their foreheads as though awakened from a feverish dream.

Some said: "The emperor has fallen because the people wished no more of

him;" others added: "The people wished the king; no, liberty; no, reason;

no, religion; no, the English constitution; no, absolutism;" and the last

one said: "No, none of these things, but repose."

Three elements entered into the life which offered itself to these

children: behind them a past forever destroyed, moving uneasily on its

ruins with all the fossils of centuries of absolutism; before them the

aurora of an immense horizon, the first gleams of the future; and between

these two worlds--something like the Ocean which separates the old world

from Young America, something vague and floating, a troubled sea filled

with wreckage, traversed from time to time by some distant sail or some

ship breathing out a heavy vapor; the present, in a word, which separates

the past from the future, which is neither the one nor the other, which

resemble both, and where one can not know whether, at each step, one is

treading on a seed or a piece of refuse.

It was in this chaos that choice must be made; this was the aspect

presented to children full of spirit and of audacity, sons of the Empire

and grandsons of the Revolution.

As for the past, they would none of it, they had no faith in it; the

future, they loved it, but how? As Pygmalion loved Galatea: it was for

them a lover in marble and they waited for the breath of life to animate

that breast, for the blood to color those veins.

There remained then, the present, the spirit of the time, angel of the

dawn who is neither night nor day; they found him seated on a lime sack

filled with bones, clad in the mantle of egoism, and shivering in

terrible cold. The anguish of death entered into the soul at the sight of

that specter, half mummy and half fetus; they approached it as the

traveler who is shown at Strasburg the daughter of an old count of

Sarvenden, embalmed in her bride's dress: that childish skeleton makes

one shudder, for her slender and livid hand wears the wedding-ring and

her head falls into dust in the midst of orange blossoms.

As upon the approach of a tempest there passes through the forests a

terrible sound which makes all the trees shudder, to which profound

silence succeeds, thus had Napoleon, in passing, shaken the world; kings

felt their crowns vacillate in the storm and, raising their hands to

steady them, they found only their hair, bristling with terror. The pope

had traveled three hundred leagues to bless him in the name of God and to

crown him with the diadem; but Napoleon had taken it from his hands. Thus

everything trembled in that dismal forest of old Europe; then silence

succeeded.

It is said that when you meet a mad dog if you keep quietly on your way

without turning, the dog will merely follow you a short distance growling

and showing his teeth; but if you allow yourself to be frightened into a

movement of terror, if you but make a sudden step, he will leap at your

throat and devour you; when the first bite has been taken there is no

escaping him.

In European history it has often happened that a sovereign has made that

movement of terror and his people have devoured him; but if one had done

it, all had not done it at the same time, that is to say, one king had

disappeared, but not all royal majesty. Before the sword of Napoleon

majesty made this movement, this gesture which loses everything, and not

only majesty, but religion, nobility, all power both human and divine.

Napoleon dead, human and divine power were re-established, but belief in

them no longer existed. A terrible danger lurks in the knowledge of what

is possible, for the mind always goes farther. It is one thing to say:

"That may be" and another thing to say: "That has been;" it is the first

bite of the dog.

The deposition of Napoleon was the last flicker of the lamp of despotism;

it destroyed and it parodied kings as Voltaire the Holy Scripture. And

after him was heard a great noise: it was the stone of St. Helena which

had just fallen on the ancient world. Immediately there appeared in the

heavens the cold star of reason, and its rays, like those of the goddess

of the night, shedding light without heat, enveloped the world in a livid

shroud.

There had been those who hated the nobles, who cried out against priests,

who conspired against kings; abuses and prejudices had been attacked; but

all that was not so great a novelty as to see a smiling people. If a

noble or a priest or a sovereign passed, the peasants who had made war

possible began to shake their heads and say: "Ah! when we saw this man at

such a time and place he wore a different face." And when the throne and

altar were mentioned, they replied: "They are made of four planks of

wood; we have nailed them together and torn them apart." And when some

one said: "People, you have recovered from the errors which led you

astray; you have recalled your kings and your priests," they replied: "We

have nothing to do with those prattlers." And when some one said:

"People, forget the past, work and obey," they arose from their seats and

a dull rumbling could be heard. It was the rusty and notched saber in the

corner of the cottage chimney. Then they hastened to add: "Then keep

quiet, at least; if no one harms you, do not seek to harm." Alas! they

were content with that.

But youth was not content. It is certain that there are in man two occult

powers engaged in a death struggle: the one, clear-sighted and cold, is

concerned with reality, calculation, weight, and judges the past; the

other is thirsty for the future and eager for the unknown. When passion

sways man, reason follows him weeping and warning him of his danger; but

when man listens to the voice of reason, when he stops at her request and

says: "What a fool I am; where am I going?" passion calls to him: "And

must I die?"

A feeling of extreme uneasiness began to ferment in all young hearts.

Condemned to inaction by the powers which governed the world, delivered

to vulgar pedants of every kind, to idleness and to ennui, the youth saw

the foaming billows which they had prepared to meet, subside. All these

gladiators, glistening with oil, felt in the bottom of their souls an

insupportable wretchedness. The richest became libertines; those of

moderate fortune followed some profession and resigned themselves to the

sword or to the robe. The poorest gave themselves up with cold enthusiasm

to great thoughts, plunged into the frightful sea of aimless effort. As

human weakness seeks association and as men are herds by nature, politics

became mingled with it. There were struggles with the _garde du corps_ on

the steps of the legislative assembly; at the theater, Talma wore a

peruke which made him resemble Caesar; every one flocked to the burial of

a liberal deputy.

But of the members of the two parties there was not one who, upon

returning home, did not bitterly realize the emptiness of his life and

the feebleness of his hands.

While life outside was so colorless and so mean, the interior life of

society assumed a somber aspect of silence; hypocrisy ruled in all

departments of conduct; English ideas of devotion, gaiety even, had

disappeared. Perhaps Providence was already preparing new ways, perhaps

the herald angel of future society was already sowing in the hearts of

women the seeds of human independence. But it is certain that a strange

thing suddenly happened: in all the salons of Paris the men passed to one

side and the women to the other; and thus, the one clad in white like a

bride and the other in black like an orphan began to take measurements

with the eye.

Let us not be deceived: that vestment of black which the men of our time

wear is a terrible symbol; before coming to this, the armor must have

fallen piece by piece and the embroidery flower by flower. Human reason

has overthrown all illusions; but it bears in itself sorrow, in order

that it may be consoled.

The customs of students and artists, those customs so free, so beautiful,

so full of youth, began to experience the universal change. Men in taking

leave of women whispered the word which wounds to the death: contempt.

They plunged into the dissipation of wine and courtesans. Students and

artists did the same; love was treated as glory and religion: it was an

old illusion. The grisette, that class so dreamy, so romantic, so tender,

and so sweet in love, abandoned herself to the counting-house and to the

shop. She was poor and no one loved her; she wanted dresses and hats and

she sold herself. O, misery! the young man who ought to love her, whom

she loved, who used to take her to the woods of Verrieres and

Romainville, to the dances on the lawn, to the suppers under the trees;

he who used to talk with her as she sat near the lamp in the rear of the

shop on the long winter evenings; he who shared her crust of bread

moistened with the sweat of her brow, and her love at once sublime and

poor; he, that same man, after having abandoned her, finds her after a

night of orgie, pale and leaden, forever lost, with hunger on her lips

and prostitution in her heart.

About this time two poets, whose genius was second only to that of

Napoleon, consecrated their lives to the work of collecting all the

elements of anguish and of grief scattered over the universe. Goethe, the

patriarch of a new literature, after having painted in "Werther" the

passion which leads to suicide, traced in his "Faust" the most somber

human character which has ever represented evil and unhappiness. His

writings began to pass from Germany into France. From his studio,

surrounded by pictures and statues, rich, happy and at ease, he watched

with a paternal smile, his gloomy creations marching in dismal procession

across the frontiers of France. Byron replied to him by a cry of grief

which made Greece tremble, and suspended "Manfred" over the abyss as if

nothingness had been the answer of the hideous enigma, with which he

enveloped him.

Pardon me! O, great poets! who are now but ashes and who sleep in peace!

Pardon me; you are demi-gods and I am only a child who suffers. But while

writing all this I can not help cursing you. Why did you not sing of the

perfume of flowers, of the voices of nature, of hope and of love, of the

vine and the sun, of the azure heavens and of beauty. You must have

understood life, you must have suffered, and the world was crumbling to

pieces about you, you wept on its ruins and you despaired; and your

mistresses were false; your friends calumniated, your compatriots

misunderstood; and your heart was empty; death was in your eyes, and you

were the very Colossi of grief. But tell me, you noble Goethe, was there

no more consoling voice in the religious murmur of your old German

forests? You, for whom beautiful poesy was the sister of science, could

you with their aid find in immortal nature no healing plant for the heart

of their favorite? You, who were a pantheist, and antique poet of Greece,

a lover of sacred forms, could you not put a little honey in the

beautiful vases you made; you, who had only to smile and allow the bees

to come to your lips? And thou, thou Byron, hadst thou not near Ravenna,

under thy orange trees of Italy, under thy beautiful Venetian sky, near

thy dear Adriatic, hadst thou not thy well beloved? O, God! I who speak

to you and who am only a feeble child, I have perhaps known sorrows that

you have never suffered, and yet I believe and I hope, and yet I bless

God.

When English and German ideas passed thus over our heads there ensued

disgust and mournful silence, followed by a terrible convulsion. For to

formulate general ideas is to change saltpeter into powder, and the

Homeric brain of the great Goethe had sucked up, as an alembic, all the

juice of the forbidden fruit. Those who did not read him did not believe

it, knew nothing of it. Poor creatures! The explosion carried them away

like grains of dust into the abyss of universal doubt.

It was a degeneration of all things of heaven and of earth that might be

termed disenchantment, or if you preferred, despair; as if humanity in

lethargy had been pronounced dead by those who held its place. Like a

soldier who was asked: "In what do you believe?" and who replied: "In

myself." Thus the youth of France, hearing that question, replied: "In

nothing."

Then they formed into two camps: on one side the exalted spirits,

sufferers, all the expansive souls who had need of the infinite, bowed

their heads and wept; they wrapt themselves in unhealthy dreams and there

could be seen nothing but broken reeds on an ocean of bitterness. On the

other side the men of the flesh remained standing, inflexible in the

midst of positive joys, and cared for nothing except to count the money

they had acquired. It was only a sob and a burst of laughter, the one

coming from the soul, the other from the body.

This is what the soul said:

"Alas! Alas! religion has departed; the clouds of heaven fall in rain; we

have no longer either hope or expectation, not even two little pieces of

black wood in the shape of a cross before which to clasp our hands. The

star of the future is loath to rise; it can not get above the horizon; it

is enveloped in clouds, and like the sun in winter its disk is the color

of blood, as in '93. There is no more love, no more glory. What heavy

darkness over all the earth! And we shall be dead when the day breaks."

This is what the body said:

"Man is here below to satisfy his senses, he has more or less of white or

yellow metal to which he owes more or less esteem. To eat, to drink and

to sleep, that is life. As for the bonds which exist between men,

friendship consists in loaning money; but one rarely has a friend whom he

loves enough for that. Kinship determines inheritance; love is an

exercise of the body; the only intellectual joy is vanity."

Like the Asiatic plague exhaled from the vapors of the Ganges, frightful

despair stalked over the earth. Already Chateaubriand, prince of poesy,

wrapping the horrible idol in his pilgrim's mantle, had placed it on a

marble altar in the midst of perfumes and holy incense. Already the

children were tightening their idle hands and drinking in their bitter

cup the poisoned brewage of doubt. Already things were drifting toward

the abyss, when the jackals suddenly emerged from the earth. A cadaverous

and infected literature which had no form but that of ugliness, began to

sprinkle with fetid blood all the monsters of nature.

Who will dare to recount what was passing in the colleges? Men doubted

everything: the young men denied everything. The poets sung of despair;

the youth came from the schools with serene brow, their faces glowing

with health and blasphemy in their mouths. Moreover, the French

character, being by nature gay and open, readily assimilated English and

German ideas; but hearts too light to struggle and to suffer withered

like crushed flowers. Thus the principle of death descended slowly and

without shock from the head to the bowels. Instead of having the

enthusiasm of evil we had only the negation of the good; instead of

despair, insensibility. Children of fifteen seated listlessly under

flowering shrubs, conversed for pastime on subjects which would have made

shudder with terror the motionless groves of Versailles. The Communion of

Christ, the host, those wafers that stand as the eternal symbol of divine

love, were used to seal letters; the children spit upon the bread of God.

Happy they who escaped those times! Happy they who passed over the abyss

while looking up to Heaven. There are such, doubtless, and they will pity

us.

It is unfortunately true that there is in blasphemy a certain discharge

of power which solaces the burdened heart. When an atheist, drawing his

watch, gave God a quarter of an hour in which to strike him dead, it is

certain that it was a quarter of an hour of wrath and of atrocious joy.

It was the paroxysm of despair, a nameless appeal to all celestial

powers; it was a poor wretched creature squirming under the foot that was

crushing him; it was a loud cry of pain. And who knows? In the eyes of

Him who sees all things, it was perhaps a prayer.

Thus these youth found employment for their idle powers in a fondness of

despair. To scoff at glory, at religion, at love, at all the world, is a

great consolation for those who do not know what to do; they mock at

themselves and in doing so prove the correctness of their view. And then

it is pleasant to believe oneself unhappy when one is only idle and

tired. Debauchery, moreover, the first conclusion of the principle of

death, is a terrible millstone for grinding the energies.

The rich said: "There is nothing real but riches, all else is a dream;

let us enjoy and then let us die." Those of moderate fortune said: "There

is nothing real but oblivion, all else is a dream; let us forget and let

us die." And the poor said: "There is nothing real but unhappiness, all

else is a dream; let us blaspheme and die."

This is too black? It is exaggerated? What do you think of it? Am I a

misanthrope? Allow me to make a reflection.

In reading the history of the fall of the Roman Empire, it is impossible

to overlook the evil that the Chustions, so admirable in the desert, did

the state when they were in power. "When I think," said Montesquieu, "of

the profound ignorance into which the Greek clergy plunged the laity, I

am obliged to compare them to the Scythians of whom Herodotus speaks, who

put out the eyes of their slaves in order that nothing might distract

their attention from their work. . . . No affair of state, no peace, no

truce, no negotiation, no marriage could be transacted by any one but the

clergy. The evils of this system were beyond belief."

Montesquieu might have added: Christianity destroyed the emperors but it

saved the people. It opened to the barbarians the palaces of

Constantinople, but it opened the doors of cottages to the ministering

angels of Christ. It had much to do with the great ones of earth. And

what is more interesting than the death-rattle of an empire corrupt to

the very marrow of its bones, than the somber galvanism under the

influence of which the skeleton of tyranny danced upon the tombs of

Heliogabalus and Caracalla! What a beautiful thing that mummy of Rome,

embalmed in the perfumes of Nero and swathed in the shroud of Tiberius!

It had to do, messieurs the politicians, with finding the poor and giving

them life and peace; it had to do with allowing the worms and tumors to

destroy the monuments of shame, while drawing from the ribs of this mummy

a virgin as beautiful as the mother of the Redeemer, hope, the friend of

the oppressed.

That is what Christianity did; and now, after many years, what have they

who destroyed it done? They saw that the poor allowed themselves to be

oppressed by the rich, the feeble by the strong, because of that saying:

"The rich and the strong will oppress me on earth; but when they wish to

enter paradise, I shall be at the door and I will accuse them before the

tribunal of God." And so, alas! they were patient.

The antagonists of Christ therefore said to the poor: "You wait patiently

for the day of justice: there is no justice; you wait for the life

eternal to achieve your vengeance: there is no life eternal; you gather

up your tears and those of your family, the cries of children and the

sobs of women, to place them at the feet of God at the hour of death:

there is no God."

Then it is certain that the poor man dried his tears, that he told his

wife to check her sobs, his children to come with him, and that he stood

upon the earth with the power of a bull. He said to the rich: "Thou who

oppressest me, thou art only man;" and to the priest: "Thou who hast

consoled me, thou hast lied." That was just what the antagonists of

Christ desired. Perhaps they thought this was the way to achieve man's

happiness, sending him out to the conquest of liberty.

But, if the poor man, once satisfied that the priests deceive him, that

the rich rob him, that all men have rights, that all good is of this

world, and that misery is impiety; the poor man, believing in himself and

in his two arms, says to himself some fine day: "War on the rich! for me,

happiness here in this life, since there is no other! for me, the earth,

since heaven is empty! for me and for all, since all are equal." Oh!

reasoners sublime who have led him to this, what will you say to him if

he is conquered?

Doubtless you are philanthropists, doubtless you are right about the

future, and the day will come when you will be blessed; but thus far, we

have not blessed you. When the oppressor said: "This world for me!" the

oppressed replied: "Heaven for me!" Now what can he say?

All the evils of the present come from two causes: the people who have

passed through 1793 and 1814, nurse wounds in their hearts. That which

was is no more; what will be, is not yet. Do not seek elsewhere the cause

of our malady.

Here is a man whose house falls in ruins; he has torn it down in order to

build another. The rubbish encumbers the spot, and he waits for fresh

materials for his new home. At the moment he has prepared to cut the

stone and mix the cement, while standing, pick in hand, with sleeves

rolled up, he is informed that there is no more stone, and is advised to

whiten the old material and make the best possible use of that. What can

you expect this man to do who is unwilling to build his nest out of

ruins? The quarry is deep, the tools too weak to hew out the stones.

"Wait!" they say to him, "we will draw out the stones one by one; hope,

work, advance, withdraw." What do they not tell him? And in the meantime

he has lost his old house, and has not yet built the new; he does not

know where to protect himself from the rain, or how to prepare his

evening meal, nor where to work, nor where to sleep, nor where to die;

and his children are newly born.

I am much deceived if we do not resemble that man. O, people of the

future! when on a warm summer day you bend over your plows in the green

fields of your native land; when you see, in the pure sunlight under a

spotless sky, the earth, your fruitful mother, smiling in her matutinal

robe on the workman, her well-beloved child; when drying on your brow the

holy baptism of sweat, you cast your eye over the vast horizon, when

there will not be one blade higher than another in the human harvest, but

only violets and marguerites in the midst of ripening sheafs. Oh! free

men! when you thank God that you were born for that harvest, think of

those who are no more, tell yourself that we have dearly purchased the

repose which you enjoy; pity us more than all your fathers, for we have

suffered the evil which entitled them to pity and we have lost that which

consoled them.

The Confession of a Child of the Century · 第 2 / 12 章