Every one who has had any thing to do with the filling up of appointments
for which there has been any competition, must have been struck--taking
the testimonials of candidates as criteria to judge by--with the immense
amount of talent and integrity that is in the market, and available often
for the merest trifle in the shape of annual salary. In truth, judging
by such documents as those just alluded to, one would think that it is
the able and deserving alone that are exposed to the necessity of seeking
for employment. At any rate, it is certain that all who do apply for
vacant situations are without exception persons of surpassing ability
and incorruptible integrity--flowers of the flock, pinks of talent,
and paragons of virtue. How such exemplary persons come to be out of
employment, we cannot tell; but there they are.
The number of testimonials which one of these worthies will produce when
he has once made a dead set at an appointment, is no less remarkable than
the warmth of the strain in which they are written. Heaven knows where
they get them all! but the number is sometimes really amazing, a hatful,
for instance, being a very ordinary quantity. We once saw a candidate for
an appointment followed by a porter who carried his testimonials, and a
pretty smart load for the man they seemed to be. The weight, we may add,
of this gentleman’s recommendations, as well it might carried the day.
In the case of regular situation-hunters of a certain class, gentlemen
who are constantly on the look-out for openings, who make a point of
trying for every thing of the kind that offers, and who yet, somehow or
other, never succeed, it may be observed that their testimonials have for
the most part an air of considerable antiquity about them, that they are
in general a good deal soiled, and have the appearance of having been
much handled, and long in the possession of the very deserving persons to
whose character and abilities they bear reference. This seems rather a
marked feature in the case of such documents as those alluded to. How it
should happen, we do not know; but you seldom see a fresh, clean, newly
written testimonial in the possession of a professed situation-hunter.
They are all venerable-looking documents, with something of a musty smell
about them, as if they had long been associated in the pocket with cheese
crumbs and half-burnt cigars.
A gentleman of the class to which we just now particularly refer,
generally carries his budget of testimonials about with him, and is
ready to produce them at a moment’s notice. Not knowing how soon or
suddenly he may hear of something eligible, he is thus always in a state
of preparation for such chances as fortune may throw in his way. It is
commendable foresight.
As regards the general style of testimonials, meaning particularly that
extreme warmth of eulogium for which these documents are for the most
part remarkable, it is perhaps in the case of aspirants for literary
situations that we find it in its greatest intensity. It is in these
cases we make the astounding discovery that the amount of literary
talent known is really nothing to that which is unknown; that in fact
the brightest of those geniuses who are basking in the sunshine of
popular favour, and reaping fame and fortune from a world’s applause, is
a mere rushlight compared to hundreds whom an adverse fate has doomed
to obscurity, of whose merits the same untoward destiny has kept the
world in utter ignorance. As proof of this, we submit to the reader
the testimonials of a couple of candidates for the editorship of a
certain provincial paper, with which, along with two or three others,
we had a proprietary connexion. There were in all one hundred and
twenty applicants, and each had somewhere about a score of different
testimonials, bearing witness to the brilliancy of his talents and the
immaculateness of his character. We, the proprietors, had thus, as the
reader will readily believe, a pretty job of it. One hundred and twenty
candidates, with each, taking an average, 20 letters of recommendation;
20 times 120--2,400 letters to read!
In the present case we confine ourselves merely to one or two of the
most remarkable, although we cannot say that the difference between
any of them was very material. They were all in nearly one strain
of unqualified, and, as regarded their subjects, no doubt deserved
laudation. The testimonials were for the most part addressed to the
applicants themselves, as in the following case:
“Dear Sir--In reply to your letter stating that you meant to apply for
the editorship of a provincial paper, and requesting my testimony to your
competency for such an appointment, I have sincere pleasure in saying
that you possess, in an eminent degree, every qualification for it. Your
style of writing is singularly elegant, combining energy with ease, and
copiousness with concentration; nor is the delicacy and correctness of
your taste less remarkable than the force and beauty of your language.
But your literary achievements, my dear sir--achievements which, although
they have not yet, will certainly one day raise you to eminence--bear
much stronger testimony to your merits than any thing I can possibly
say in your behalf; and to these I would refer all who are interested
in ascertaining what your attainments are. As an editor of a paper,
you would be invaluable; and I assure you, they will not be little to
be envied who shall be so fortunate as to secure the aid of your able
services,” &c. &c. &c.
Well, this was one of the very first testimonials we happened to open,
and we thought we had found our man at the very outset, that it would be
unnecessary to go farther, and we congratulated ourselves accordingly.
We were delighted with our luck in having thus stumbled on such a genius
at the first move. It is true, we did not know exactly what to make of
the reference to the candidate’s literary achievements, what they were,
or where to look for them; for neither of these achievements, nor of the
candidate himself, had we ever heard before; but as the writer of the
letter was not unknown to us, we took it for granted that all was right.
What, however, was our surprise, what our perplexity, when, on proceeding
to the testimonials of the next candidate, we found that he was a
gentleman of still more splendid talents than the first; that, in short,
the light of the latter’s genius, compared to that of the former’s, was
but as the light of a lucifer match to the blaze of Mount Etna.
“Gentlemen,” said the first testimonial of this person’s we took up (we,
the proprietors, being addressed in this case), “Gentlemen, having learnt
that you are on the look-out for an editor for your paper, and learning
from Mr Josephus Julius Augustus Bridgeworth that he intends becoming a
candidate for that appointment, I at his request most cheerfully bear
testimony to his competency, I might say pre-eminent fitness, for the
situation in question. Mr Bridgeworth is a young man of the highest
literary attainments; indeed, I should not be going too far were I to
say that I know of no writer, ancient or modern, who at all approaches
him in force and beauty of style, or who surpasses him in originality of
thought and brilliancy of imagination: qualities which he has beautifully
and strikingly exhibited in his inimitable Essay on Bugs, which obtained
for him the gold prize-medal of the Royal Society of Entomologists,
and admission to that Society as an honorary member, with the right of
assuming the title of F. R. S. In fine, gentlemen, I would entreat of
you, as much for your own sakes as for that of my illustrious young
friend Mr Bridgeworth, not to let slip this opportunity--one that may
never occur again--of securing the services of one of the most talented
gentlemen of the day; one who, I feel well assured, will one day prove
not only an honour to his country, but an ornament to the age in which he
lives. With regard to Mr B.’s moral character, I have only to say that it
is every thing that is upright and honourable; that he is, in truth, not
more distinguished for the qualities of his head than of his heart.”
We have already said that the circumstance of finding in the bug essayist
a greater genius than in the candidate who preceded him, most grievously
perplexed us. It did. But what was this perplexity compared with that
by which we were confounded, when, on proceeding to look over the
testimonials of the other candidates, we found that the merits of every
new one we came to surpassed those of him who had gone before, and this
so invariably, that it became evident that we had drawn around us all
the talent and character of the country; that in fact all the talent and
character of the country was striving for the editorship of our paper.
Thus placed as it were in the midst of a perfect galaxy of genius, thus
surrounded by the best and brightest men of the age, we had, as will
readily be believed, great difficulty in making a choice. A choice,
however, we did at length make; fixing on the brightest of the brilliant
host by which we were mobbed. Need I tell the result? Need I say that
this luminary turned out, after all, but a farthing candle!--a very
ordinary sort of person. He did, indeed, well enough, but not better than
a thousand others could have done.
While on this subject of testimonials, let us add that we had once, with
one or two others, the bestowal of an appointment to a situation of
trust, and for which integrity was the chief requisite. We had in this,
as in the former case, an immense number of applicants, and, as in the
former case, each of these produced the most satisfactory testimonials.
We chose the most immaculate of these honest men--we appointed him. In
three weeks after, he decamped with £500 of his employer’s cash!