she _does_!
_Ama._ Not _you_--another.
_Mum._ Then, by my soul, he dies!
_Ama._ Nay! by my soul, he _lives_! 'Tis Blubbero, the mighty King of
Finland.
_Mum._ From Finland!--pshaw! A king of dolphins and Prince of Whales.
"WEATHER OR NO."
The last time that Theodore Hook dined at Amen Corner, he was
unusually late, and dinner was served before he made his appearance.
Mr. Barham apologized for having sat down without him, observing that
he had quite given him up, and had supposed "that the weather had
deterred him."
"Oh!" replied Hook, "I had determined to come, _weather_ or
no."--_Life of Rev. R. H. Barham._
DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND.
Hook told a story of a gentleman driving his Irish servant in his
cab, and saying to him, half jocularly, half in anger:
"If the gallows had its due, you rascal, where would you be now?"
"Faith, then, your honour, it's riding in this cab I'd be, all alone
by myself may be!"
TOM MOORE.--LOSING A HAT.
Words cannot do justice to Theodore Hook's talent for improvisation:
it was perfectly wonderful. He was one day sitting at the pianoforte,
singing an extempore song as fluently as if he had had the words and
music before him, when Moore happened to look into the room, and Hook
instantly introduced a long parenthesis,
"And here's Mr. Moore,
Peeping in at the door," &c.
The last time I saw Hook was in the lobby of Lord Canterbury's house
after a large evening party there. He was walking up and down,
singing with great gravity, to the astonishment of the footmen,
"Shepherds, I have lost my hat."--_Rogers's Table Talk._
"GOOD NIGHT."
Wherever Hook came he was a welcome guest; and his arrival was
the signal for hilarity and festivity. The dining-room and the
drawing-room were alike his theatres; the former was enlivened by
the jest and song, the latter by music and improvisation, of which
he was master beyond any man that perhaps England ever beheld. Our
untractable language was to him as easy as the fascile Italian, and
whether seated at the genial board, with a few choice companions, or
at the pianoforte, surrounded by admiring beauty, his performances
in this way were the delight and admiration of all who heard them.
They were, indeed, very extraordinary. Some of them might have been
printed as finished ballads; and others, though not so perfect in
parts as metrical compositions, were so studded with bright conceits,
and often so touched with exquisite sentiment and pathos, that their
effect upon the audience was evinced by shouts of laughter, or
starting tears.
We remember one beautiful example of the latter. At a party at
Prior's Bank, Fulham, it was morning before the guests departed,
yet Hook remained to the last, and a light of other days brightened
his features as he again opened the piano and began a recitative.
Another extempore song had been begged by a bevy of lovely dames, and
Hook hastened to comply with their request--the subject this time
being "Good Night." The singer had proceeded through a few verses,
and at length uttered a happy thought, which excited a joyous laugh
in a fair young boy standing by his side. At this moment one of the
servants suddenly opened the drawing-room shutters, and a flood of
light fell upon the lad's head. The effect was very touching, but
it became a thousand times more so as Hook, availing himself of the
incident, placed his hand upon the youth's brow, and in tremulous
tones uttered a verse of which only the concluding lines are
remembered:--
"For _you_ is the dawn of the morning,
For _me_ is the solemn good night."
He rose from the piano, burst into tears, and left the room. Few of
those who were present saw him afterwards.
INDEX.
Agnew, Sir Andrew, 400
Allan, William, clerk in the Treasury Office at Mauritius, 20;
suicide of, 28
Allendale, Alfred, pseudonym of Hook, 15, 29
_Arcadian_, the, started by Hook and Terry, 24;
collapses after the second number, 25;
quoted, 133
_Ass-ass-ination_, 135, 578
Baird, Sir David, Life of, 32
Banks, Sir Joseph, 16
Barham, Rev. R. H., his last interview with Hook, 36
Beckford, William, 386
Berners-street Hoax, the, 539
Blinkinsop, Vicesimus, pseudonym of Hook, 23, 209
Broughton, Lord, see _Hobhouse_
Bubbles of 1825, 194
Bull, see _John Bull_
Byron, Lord, at Harrow with Theodore Hook, 3, 5;
his attacks on Hook in "English Bards and Scotch Reviewers," 6, 10;
his treatment of Leigh Hunt, 280;
supposed conversations of, 285
Canterbury, Lord, 23
Clubs, 333, 516
Coates, Romeo, 541
"Contingencies," 573
Creevy, Mr., 170, 183
Croker, John Wilson, 23
Curwen, Mr., M.P., 160
Daly's Practical Jokes, 471
Dancing, Hook's contempt for, 556
Daylight Dinners, 515
Dido, 522
Dillon, Dr., Chaplain to the Lord Mayor, his ridiculous book, 288, 304
Dilworth's Instructions, 347
Dowton the Actor, Hook and, 554
Entick's Dictionary, 317, 320
Errors of the Press, 409
Fanny's Thumb, 519
Farquhar, Sir R. J. (Governor of Mauritius), 18;
connected by marriage with Hook's family, _ib._;
returns to England, 20
Foote, Samuel, 226
Fulham, Hook's residence at, 31;
Buried at, 38
_Gaffer Grey_, 166
_Gilbert Gurney_, 33
Godwin, William, his Life of Chaucer, 215
"Good Night," 579
Goethe, his Preface to Prince Puckler-Muskau's Tour, 355
Hall, Major-General, appointed Deputy-Governor of Mauritius, 20
Haydon, R. B., the painter, 249
Hobhouse, John Cam, 133, 217
Holcroft, Thomas, imitated, 166
Holland, Lady, 24
Hone, William, his Parodies, 190
Hook, James (father of Theodore Hook), his musical compositions, 4;
weak character of, 6
---- (Dr. James), Dean of Worcester, 4
HOOK, THEODORE, birth and parentage, 3, 4;
sent to Harrow, 5;
death of his mother, 6;
commences writing vaudevilles for the stage, 7;
ridicules the Methodists, 11;
his first appearance as a novelist, 15;
appointed Accountant-General and Treasurer at the Mauritius, 18;
describes his mode of life there in a letter to Mathews, 19;
arrested for irregularities in the Treasury accounts, 21;
sent to England for trial, 21;
visit to Napoleon at St. Helena, 22;
arrives in England, and is liberated, _ib._;
establishes himself at Somers Town, _ib._;
opens his campaign against Queen Caroline, 23;
starts a small magazine, 24;
establishes the _John Bull_ newspaper, 25;
and publishes a series of brilliant songs and squibs in it, 26;
arrested under an Exchequer writ, 27;
transferred to the Rules of the King's Bench, 28;
publishes the first series of _Sayings and Doings_, 29;
takes a cottage at Putney, 30;
removes to a fashionable quarter of the West-end, _ib._;
finally settles down at Fulham, 31;
various successive works, 32;
undertakes the editorship of the _New Monthly Magazine_, 33;
errors of his career, 35;
last interview with his friend Ingoldsby, 36;
illness and death, 37;
buried at Fulham, 38
Hunt, Leigh, on Methodism, 14;
his connexion with Lord Byron, 280
_Hunting the Hare_, 147
Ingoldsby, see _Barham, Rev. R. H._
_Jack Brag_, 33
Jeffrey, Lord, 217, 280
_John Bull_ newspaper, establishment of, 25;
Hook's connexion with, 26
Kelly, Michael, his _Reminiscences_ revised by Hook, 30
Knight, Richard Payne, 220, 258
Larpent, Mr., 11, 12
L'Estrange, Father, 378
"List" Shoes, 567
Liston, performs in Hook's farces, 8
Lockhart, John Gibson, on Hook's _Tentamen_, 23
Lowth, 182
Madden, Miss, the mother of Theodore Hook, 4
Mathews, Charles, performs in Hook's farces, 8
----, Charles, jun., 9
Maurice, M. Charles, his _Babillard_, 8
Mauritius, Letter from, 555
_Maxwell_, 31
Melodrama, an extempore, 575
Melville, Lord, trial of, 560
Michael's Dinner, 138
Miller, Joe, quoted, 243
_Minus_, Mr., the poet, 16, 338
Moore, Thomas, 16, 67;
quoted, 106;
sketched under the title of _Mr. Minus_, 338
Morgan, Lady, 67;
described, 368
_Muggins's (Mrs.) Visit to the Queen_, 140
Naldi, his _Fanatico per la Musica_, 10
Napoleon at St. Helena, 22
Night Air, a Receipt against, 566
O'Connell, Daniel, described, 377
Owenson, Miss, see _Morgan, Lady_
Peel, Sir Robert, contemporary with Theodore Hook at Harrow, 5;
his Anecdotes of Theodore Hook, 565
Pope, Alexander, saying of, 8
Prince Puckler-Muskau's Tour, 355
Punning, 316, 320
Punting, 566
Putney Bridge, 568
---- Hook's residence at, 30
_Ramsbottom Papers_, 26, 41-130
Ramsbottom, Mrs., her party, 41;
Her Journal in England and France, 46;
death of her husband, 69;
visits Rome, _ib._;
objects to being dramatised, 72;
visits Dieppe, 73;
describes Hastings, 75;
relates some anecdotes of her son-in-law, 78;
on the House of Commons, 79;
on the Canning Administration, 81;
on smoking, 84;
conundrums, 85;
writes from Cheltenham, 87;
from Hastings, 90;
gives her opinion of the relative merits of Margate and Brighton, 96;
contemplates the collection of her Letters into a volume, 102;
writes from Gravesend, 105;
her opinions on Popery, _ib._;
at the Royal Academy, 108;
at the Chiswick Fête, 111;
writes from Walmer about the collection of her Letters under the title
of _The Ramsbottom Papers_, 117;
in a "pick of trubbles," 118;
her opinions on public events, 120;
declares herself a convert to "Reform," 123;
on the House of Lords, 128;
a next door neighbour of, 393
Ray's English Proverbs, 237
Rogers, Samuel, 75, 78, 178, 389
Russell, Lord John, 164;
the "widow's mite," 573
Sheridan, Tom, Adventure of, 499
Summary Proceedings of Winter, 563
Sussex, Duke of, 211
Swift's _Directions to Servants_, 333
_Tentamen_, 23, 207-246
Terry, Daniel, acts in a farce of Theodore Hook's, 14;
joins Hook in _The Arcadian_, 24
Thirty-nine Articles, the, 562
Twining's Tea, 522
_Vacation Reminiscences_, 159
_Venice Preserved_, 513
Ward, Mr., his Allegorical Picture of Waterloo, 249
Warren's Blacking, 564
Wine-cellar and the Book-seller, the, 565
Wood, Matthew, satirised under the name of Whittington, 23, 210;
mentioned _sæpius_ in the Political Songs
Hazell, Watson, and Viney, Printers, London and Aylesbury.
FOOTNOTES:
[1] She was the authoress of, at least, one theatrical piece, "The
Double Disguise," played with success at Drury Lane, in 1784, her
husband providing the music.
[2] Dr. Hook amused himself about fifty years ago, by writing two
novels, "Pen Owen," and "Percy Mallory," which at the time were
commonly ascribed to Theodore, and which would hardly have done him
any discredit. They have been republished, as they well deserved to
be, in a cheap form. The picture of the Cato-street Conspiracy, in
one of them, is most striking.
[3] The "Babillard" of M. Charles Maurice.
[4] "The Man of Sorrow." A Novel. In Three Volumes. By Alfred
Allendale, Esq. London: Printed for Samuel Tipper, Leadenhall Street,
1808.
[5] "He was a MAN OF SORROW, and acquainted with Grief."
[6] A slight obliquity of vision for which his lordship was remarkable
suggested the title--a passable adaptation of Theodore's own
joke--"Hook and _Eye_."
[7] There can be little doubt that the following was also written by
Hook:--
"The Radical Harmonist; or, a Collection of Songs and Toasts given at
the late Crown and Anchor Dinner. Collected by Old Tom of Oxford. To
which is subjoined, The Goose's Apology, a Michaelmas Ode. London:
printed for W. Wright, 46, Fleet Street, 1820." It is issued by the
publisher of "Tentamen," of which there is an advertisement on the
fly-leaf. One of the songs (p. 11) bears a remarkable resemblance to
Mrs. Muggins's Visit to the Queen.
[8] It may seem strange that he should have been capable of thus
making sport to the Philistines out of his own calamity and disgrace;
but it is stranger still that he is said to have in fact adopted some
hints from a version of Allan's suicide, which found favour with the
lowest only of his political haters, and the circulation of which in
a street broadside had seemed to give him very serious annoyance. We
quote some verses of this doggrel, just to show that Hook had to take
as well as give:--
"Then Hook says to Allan, 'We're blown, my poor nigger,
We at last are found out to be loose in the figure;
We have sacked it and spent it, and cannot repay,
So let's e'en hop the twig in the old Roman way!'
'O massa!' says Allan, 'whatever you do,
It will comfort my heart to accompany you.
That there grog at the governor's! O, what a goose!
Which is best, steel or lead, or a drop of the juice?'
'First a drop of the juice this here bottle contains--
And then barkers, like gemmen, to blow out our brains!
Here they are, fill your glass, to that bed-room retire--
Make ready, present, and when mine goes off--fire!'
Humble Allan then manfully emptied his glass,
And with pistol on cock to the bed-room did pass;
In a moment he heard massa's _bang_, and the nigger
In his mouth clapp'd the muzzle and drew back the trigger.
Then the beaks tumbled in, black and bistre and yellow,
And found Hook in great horror beside the poor fellow.
His own bullet of course perforated the floor--
And the peacher could now be cross-questioned no more."
[9] "Sayings and Doings" provoked a rather pungent satirical
pamphlet, entitled "Sayings and Doings Considered, with On Dits,
Family Memoirs, etc., etc., etc. London: Allman, 1825," p. 46.
[10] The Vatican.
[11] Annibale Caracci.
[12] Giorgione.
[13] Gray's Inn.
[14] _Trop fort._
[15] _Calembours._
[16] The _dénoûment_ of that _faux pas_.
[17] Phrenology.
[18] Arians.
[19] John Cam Hobhouse (afterwards Lord Broughton), the friend of
Byron.
[20] This is a poetical licence; for by the paternal solicitude
of Sir Francis B----, little Cammy was rescued from the dreadful
contamination. It was not unamusing to see the worthy baronet start
with horror at the idea of sending a _gentleman_, like his friend,
to a nasty, damp, filthy prison. We thought the laws were to know no
distinctions, particularly the laws of the Radicals.--_Arcadian._
[21] At a meeting at a tavern in the Strand, Hunt observed that
Mr. H----'s Newgate manœuvre "savoured a little of an election
trick."--_Arcadian._
[22] From the _John Bull_.
[23] The last word is illegibly written in the manuscript--it looks
like _hare_, but it seems that it ought to rhyme to _fore_--we leave
it to the sagacity of our readers.--_Author's Note._
[24] Mr. Creevy, on bringing forward a motion for the reform of
the Board of Control, March 16, 1822, took occasion to observe:
"It happened that he had himself been Secretary, once upon a time,
to this Board; during the thirteen months he was there, there was
no board at all that he ever saw. His right honourable friend (Mr.
Tierney) sat in one room, himself in another, and the gentlemen
commissioners in a third. * * * He must also state, that during
all the time he was there, there was not business enough for the
situation." An admission which elicited the following sarcasm from
Mr. Canning. "It seemed," said the latter, "a little extraordinary,
that the idle secretary should be the person who called for such an
inquiry. This was reform with a vengeance. This was no unfaithful
picture of those principles on which reform was usually clamoured
for. If they traced the principles of those who raised that clamour
to their source, it would be found that _habites rem confitentem_,
and that, nine times out of ten, the evil existed only when the
clamour was raised. It was beyond his hopes that any Hon. Gent.
should be so blinded by his fancies as to come forward with such a
notice under such circumstances, crying aloud, _'Me, me, adsum qui
(non) feci!_' I am the man who did nothing; and I now call upon you
to inquire why those men associated with me, and who were diligent,
failed to follow my example."--_Barham._
[25] On a motion being made, Jan. 31, 1821, in the House, respecting
the Queen's annuity, Mr. Brougham rose and presented a message
on the part of Her Majesty: "She feels it due to the House and
to herself respectfully to declare, that she perseveres in the
resolution of declining any arrangement while her name continues
to be excluded from the Liturgy." A subscription equivalent to the
proposed allowance was talked of; but her Majesty was eventually
induced to reconsider her determination, and accept the £50,000 per
annum.--_Barham._
[26] It may not be known to many of our readers, that Mr. Scarlett,
upon some little error in grammar, in the King's Bench, was referred
to the authority of Lowth. "Lowth!" said the erudite lawyer, "what
d'ye mean by Lowth?--it's no bull, and I never was in Ireland."--It
is hardly necessary to remind our readers in general, though Mr.
Scarlett was not aware of the circumstance, that Bishop Lowth, who
wrote the English Grammar, was not a county in Ireland, which happens
to be of the same name.--_Author's Note._
[27]
"Do you know me?"
"Excellent well; you are a _fishmonger_."
HAMLET.
[28] The badness of the times, according to that Venerable Bede of
modern days, Mr. Cartwright, is owing to the Septennial Parliament
Bill (1 Geo. I. cap. 38); but according to the better opinion of Mr.
J. C. Boghouse, to the battle of Waterloo. (_vide_ Panegyr. Nap. Bon.
passim.)
[29] Vide Caius de Canibus Britannicis c. de Majoribus.
[30] Vide _Restituta_ by the learned Sir Egerton Brydges, Knight of
St. Joachim, A.S.S.
[31] In this chapter Mr. Edward Dixon has favoured me with a
dissertation to show that the proverb "more knave than fool," was
first used in Whittington's time, and that there is strong reason
to suppose that the true reading is, "more fool than knave." Lest
this learned dissertation on so curious a topic should be lost, or
even delayed to the world, I have furnished it to my worthy and most
erudite friend Mr. Macvey Napier, as an article for his forthcoming
Encyclopædia Edinburgensis.
[32] See also on this interesting subject the Pepysian MSS. in Magd.
Libr. Cantab.--Report of the Commissioners of Naval Revision, Folio
LIV.--And the Earl of Darnley's late Speech on the state of the
Fleets, in which last particularly, the whole matter is treated with
that clearness, ability, knowledge, and conciseness for which the
noble and learned peer is remarkable.
[33] "Mission to Ashantee," p. 431, last edition.
[34] Barthol. de Spina. Quest. de Strigibus, cap. 8. Mal. Malefica,
tom. 2, disputes at large the transformation of Witch into Cats, and
their sucking _spirits_ as well as blood, which Godelman, lib. de
Lamiis, would have à stridore et avibus fœdissimis ejusdem nominis;
but, as I think, without good reason.
[35] Edit. Lond. Dean and Munday, 1819, p. 17.
[36] Probably not in these words, because they are
Shakespeare's.--_Printer's Devil._
[37] A complete exposure of their unfairness on the latter point,
has been lately given in the life of the celebrated Mr. Edgeworth by
himself and his daughter; in which he shows, that he had invented
telegraphs some years before the French, though he had with a
blameable modesty kept the secret entirely to himself till the French
had infamously pirated his invention.
[38] Ray, in his "History of English Proverbs," states this
circumstance to have originated the subsequently familiar saying of
"to let the Cat out of the bag."
[39] Higgins in his Treatise on Oyster-Shells (by the way, a
remarkably shrewd and entertaining work), mentions the story of
Whittington and his Cat, and attributes her easy compliance with his
wishes to a charm, which he says was afterwards adopted by Ben Jonson
in his Masque of Queens, celebrated Feb. 6th, 1609, beginning with
these words:--
"The weather is fair, the wind is good,
Up, dame, on your horse of _Wood_."
Delrio. Disq. Mag. lib. 11, Quæst. VI. has a story out of Triezius,
about this horse of Wood; "but that which our witches call so is
usually the staff, or _handle of a Broom_!" Vide Remiq. Dæmonol. lib.
1, cap. 14. Boden, 1. 2, cap. 4.
[40] I am informed that Lord Holland has a very interesting Tract
touching this subject, called "Thee Siege of Windsorre," which
I confess I should have much liked to have consulted; but Mrs.
Blinkinsop is one of those old-fashioned women who choose to be
particular, and I have been by her prevented from making the only
interest through which I could have hoped to have obtained the loan
of it.
[41] How easy it is to trace the source of good-breeding at this
epoch, when one would have supposed that a man in Matthew's sphere
(through ignorance), would have seated himself snugly by the side
of his _protegée_, with as much familiarity as if she had been Mrs.
Whittington; but the Black Prince had just at the time set such an
example to the people, in his behaviour to the French king; to whom
he declared, "that being a subject, he was too well acquainted with
the distance between his own rank, and that of Majesty, to assume
such a freedom as to sit in its presence."--(Hume, vol. iii. p. 88.)
That the tone of good-breeding pervaded all classes, and reached even
Matthew, who by the excessive delicacy and respect with which he had
attended his lady, not only raised himself in the eyes of everybody,
but practically upheld the claim she had on their interest and
affections.
[42] The name of the last of these modern ladies, (the histories of
all of whom may be found in Messrs. Vandenhok and Ruprecht's Gallerie
Merkwürdiger Fraunzimmer, Ed. Gottingen, 1794 and 1798) reminds me of
a jest, which, though modern, is not without its whimsicality. Mr.
Perry, proprietor and editor of the newspaper called the _Morning
Chronicle_, having one day descanted somewhat freely on politics, was
asked by one of his hearers to what party he professed to belong. "To
the Whigs, to be sure," said Perry. "So do I," rejoined his friend,
"but not to the _Perry-Whigs_."
[43] Josephus Miller, edit. Lond. (no date) page 42.
[44] The crime she was charged with, it may be necessary to say, was
sorcery, not murder:--putting people _out_ of the world she had never
been accused of.
[45] Palæphatus de incredibilibus.--Ed. 1649.
[46] The strongest contradiction to the assertion that she _never_
assumed the human form may be found in a work intituled _Institutione
di uno fanciullo nato nobilimente_.--Ed. 1558.
[47] _John Bull_, Oct. 14, 1821.
[48] _John Bull_, Oct. 13, 1822.
[49] _John Bull_, March 30, 1823.
[50] The reader will scarcely require to be informed that Leigh Hunt
is the person alluded to--_Ed._
[51] Keats.
[52] It will be remembered how this patriot, who bullied himself
into Horsemonger Gaol, snivelled to get himself out again--but
to no purpose. Yet he has perpetually Hampden and Sydney in his
mouth.--_Don Juan._
[53] This paper was written to ridicule the innumerable books of idle
gossip, published immediately after Lord Byron's death, by Captain
Medwin and others, in which the noble Poet's slightest remarks and
most trivial habits were chronicled with the zeal, but probably
without the accuracy, of a Boswell.--_Ed._
[54] This notice was written in ridicule of an absurd book, now
become very scarce, by Dr. Dillon, entitled: "The Lord Mayor's Visit
to Oxford, written at the desire of the Party by the Chaplain of the
Mayoralty, 1826."--_Ed._
[55] Published as a note at the end of the novel of "Gilbert Gurney."
[56] Contributed to a tiny Annual for Children, entitled "The
Christmas Box." Edited by T. Crofton Croker, 1828.
[57] _John Bull_, May 4, 1828.
[58] For its trenchant irony, this little piece is worthy to rank
with Swift's celebrated "Directions to Servants."--_Ed._
[59] From "The Man of Sorrow," 1808, iii., 93-95. By "Mr. Minus" is
understood Thomas Moore, then better known under his own pseudonym of
"Little."--_Ed._
[60] The Words and Music by T. Minus, Esq., price 5s., published in
Bond Street.
[61] Of the _John Bull_ newspaper.--_Ed._
[62] Tour in England, Ireland, and France, in the years 1828 and
1829. With remarks on the manners and customs of the inhabitants, and
anecdotes of distinguished characters. By a German Prince. 2 vols.
12mo. London. 1831.
[63] From "Gilbert Gurney."
[64] From "Gurney Married."
[65] From "Gilbert Gurney."
[66] This story, which Hook used to relate at dinner-parties, was
afterwards amplified into a chapter of _Gilbert Gurney_. (See "The
Visit to Wrigglesworth," _anteà_, p. 425.)--_Ed._
[67] From the musical Farce of "Catch Him Who Can" (1806).
[68] From "Catch Him who Can."