(_AS SUGGESTED BY "MUSICAL PAUPERS."_)
SCENE--_Interior of Covent Garden on a Subscription Night.
The house is filled in the parts reserved for Subscribers. The
remainder of the Auditorium is less crowded. The Overture is
over, when there is a loud cry for the Manager. Enter before
the Curtain Courteous Gentleman, who bows, and waits in an
attitude of respectful attention._
_Person in the Amphitheatre._ I say, Mister, look 'ere, after charging
me sixpence for a seat, I'm 'anged if they don't want an extra penny
for a bill of the play.
_Courteous Gentleman._ Highly improper, Sir. I will look into the
matter to-morrow, and if you are kind enough to identify the attendant
who has attempted this overcharge, I will have him dismissed. And now,
with your permission, your Royal Highnesses, my Lords, Ladies, and
Gentlemen, we will go on with the Musical performances.
[_The Opera continues. At the end of the Third Act there
is another cry for the Manager. The Courteous Gentleman
re-enters before the Curtain, as before._
_Very Stout Person in the Amphitheatre Stalls._ I say, look here--I
paid two shillings for this seat, and the back's coming off.
_Cour. Gen._ Perhaps, Sir, you have been leaning with a weight it is
unable to bear.
_Very S.P._ Never mind about that. As I pay two shillings for my seat,
I expect you to stop the show until it's mended.
_Cour. Gen._ As the show (as you call it, Sir) costs about two pounds
a minute, I fear that would be rather an extravagant proceeding. If I
may suggest, I would counsel you to change your seat to a more perfect
one.
_Very S.P._ I like that! and get turned out by someone who had
reserved it. No, thankee! But there, after all, I _am_ rather heavy,
so let's say no more about it.
_Cour. Gen._ I am infinitely obliged to you.
[_Exit. The Opera continues until the commencement of the
last Act, when there is a frantic cry for the Manager. The
Courteous Gentleman again appears before the Curtain._
_Voices from the Cheaper Parts of the House._ Here, cut it short!
Let's get to the end. Let's see how the story finishes!
_Cour. Gent._ I am at your disposal.
_Spokesman._ Well, look here, Mister. There's a lot of us here who
want to catch the 11.40 train, so can't you cut the performance?
_Cour. Man._ Although your proposal, Sir, may cause some trouble and
complications, I will honestly do my best. [_Bows and exit._
_Curtain._
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