THE REFORMATION OF CALLIOPE

Calliope Catesby was in his humours again. Ennui was upon him. This

goodly promontory, the earth--particularly that portion of it known

as Quicksand--was to him no more than a pestilent congregation of

vapours. Overtaken by the megrims [114], the philosopher may seek

relief in soliloquy; my lady find solace in tears; the flaccid

Easterner scold at the millinery bills of his women folk. Such

recourse was insufficient to the denizens of Quicksand. Calliope,

especially, was wont to express his ennui according to his lights.

[FOOTNOTE 114: megrims--depression, unhappiness]

Over night Calliope had hung out signals of approaching low spirits.

He had kicked his own dog on the porch of the Occidental Hotel, and

refused to apologise. He had become capricious and fault-finding in

conversation. While strolling about he reached often for twigs of

mesquite and chewed the leaves fiercely. That was always an ominous

act. Another symptom alarming to those who were familiar with the

different stages of his doldrums was his increasing politeness and a

tendency to use formal phrases. A husky softness succeeded the usual

penetrating drawl in his tones. A dangerous courtesy marked his

manners. Later, his smile became crooked, the left side of his mouth

slanting upward, and Quicksand got ready to stand from under.

At this stage Calliope generally began to drink. Finally, about

midnight, he was seen going homeward, saluting those whom he met with

exaggerated but inoffensive courtesy. Not yet was Calliope's

melancholy at the danger point. He would seat himself at the window of

the room he occupied over Silvester's tonsorial parlours and there

chant lugubrious and tuneless ballads until morning, accompanying the

noises by appropriate maltreatment of a jangling guitar. More

magnanimous than Nero, he would thus give musical warning of the

forthcoming municipal upheaval that Quicksand was scheduled to endure.

A quiet, amiable man was Calliope Catesby at other times--quiet to

indolence, and amiable to worthlessness. At best he was a loafer and a

nuisance; at worst he was the Terror of Quicksand. His ostensible

occupation was something subordinate in the real estate line; he drove

the beguiled Easterner in buckboards out to look over lots and ranch

property. Originally he came from one of the Gulf States, his lank six

feet, slurring rhythm of speech, and sectional idioms giving evidence

of his birthplace.

And yet, after taking on Western adjustments, this languid pine-box

whittler, cracker barrel hugger, shady corner lounger of the cotton

fields and sumac hills of the South became famed as a bad man among

men who had made a life-long study of the art of truculence.

At nine the next morning Calliope was fit. Inspired by his own

barbarous melodies and the contents of his jug, he was ready primed to

gather fresh laurels from the diffident brow of Quicksand. Encircled

and criss-crossed with cartridge belts, abundantly garnished with

revolvers, and copiously drunk, he poured forth into Quicksand's main

street. Too chivalrous to surprise and capture a town by silent

sortie, he paused at the nearest corner and emitted his slogan--that

fearful, brassy yell, so reminiscent of the steam piano [115], that

had gained for him the classic appellation that had superseded his own

baptismal name. Following close upon his vociferation came three shots

from his forty-five by way of limbering up the guns and testing his

aim. A yellow dog, the personal property of Colonel Swazey, the

proprietor of the Occidental, fell feet upward in the dust with one

farewell yelp. A Mexican who was crossing the street from the Blue

Front grocery carrying in his hand a bottle of kerosene, was

stimulated to a sudden and admirable burst of speed, still grasping

the neck of the shattered bottle. The new gilt weather-cock on Judge

Riley's lemon and ultramarine two-story residence shivered, flapped,

and hung by a splinter, the sport of the wanton breezes.

[FOOTNOTE 115: steam piano--calliope. Joshua C. Stoddard

(1814-1902) invented the calliope in 1855 and

formed the American Steam Piano Company to

manufacture it commercially.]

The artillery was in trim. Calliope's hand was steady. The high, calm

ecstasy of habitual battle was upon him, though slightly embittered by

the sadness of Alexander in that his conquests were limited to the

small world of Quicksand.

Down the street went Calliope, shooting right and left. Glass fell

like hail; dogs vamosed; chickens flew, squawking; feminine voices

shrieked concernedly to youngsters at large. The din was perforated at

intervals by the _staccato_ of the Terror's guns, and was drowned

periodically by the brazen screech that Quicksand knew so well. The

occasions of Calliope's low spirits were legal holidays in Quicksand.

All along the main street in advance of his coming clerks were putting

up shutters and closing doors. Business would languish for a space.

The right of way was Calliope's, and as he advanced, observing the

dearth of opposition and the few opportunities for distraction, his

ennui perceptibly increased.

But some four squares farther down lively preparations were being made

to minister to Mr. Catesby's love for interchange of compliments and

repartee. On the previous night numerous messengers had hastened to

advise Buck Patterson, the city marshal, of Calliope's impending

eruption. The patience of that official, often strained in extending

leniency toward the disturber's misdeeds, had been overtaxed. In

Quicksand some indulgence was accorded the natural ebullition of human

nature. Providing that the lives of the more useful citizens were not

recklessly squandered, or too much property needlessly laid waste, the

community sentiment was against a too strict enforcement of the law.

But Calliope had raised the limit. His outbursts had been too frequent

and too violent to come within the classification of a normal and

sanitary relaxation of spirit.

Buck Patterson had been expecting and awaiting in his little

ten-by-twelve frame office that preliminary yell announcing that

Calliope was feeling blue. When the signal came the city marshal rose

to his feet and buckled on his guns. Two deputy sheriffs and three

citizens who had proven the edible qualities of fire also stood up,

ready to bandy with Calliope's leaden jocularities.

"Gather that fellow in," said Buck Patterson, setting forth the lines

of the campaign. "Don't have no talk, but shoot as soon as you can get

a show. Keep behind cover and bring him down. He's a nogood 'un. It's

up to Calliope to turn up his toes this time, I reckon. Go to him all

spraddled out, boys. And don't git too reckless, for what Calliope

shoots at he hits."

Buck Patterson, tall, muscular, and solemn-faced, with his bright

"City Marshal" badge shining on the breast of his blue flannel shirt,

gave his posse directions for the onslaught upon Calliope. The plan

was to accomplish the downfall of the Quicksand Terror without loss to

the attacking party, if possible.

The splenetic Calliope, unconscious of retributive plots, was steaming

down the channel, cannonading on either side, when he suddenly became

aware of breakers ahead. The city marshal and one of the deputies rose

up behind some dry-goods boxes half a square to the front and opened

fire. At the same time the rest of the posse, divided, shelled him

from two side streets up which they were cautiously manoeuvring from a

well-executed detour.

The first volley broke the lock of one of Calliope's guns, cut a neat

underbit in his right ear, and exploded a cartridge in his crossbelt,

scorching his ribs as it burst. Feeling braced up by this unexpected

tonic to his spiritual depression, Calliope executed a fortissimo note

from his upper register, and returned the fire like an echo. The

upholders of the law dodged at his flash, but a trifle too late to

save one of the deputies a bullet just above the elbow, and the

marshal a bleeding cheek from a splinter that a ball tore from the box

he had ducked behind.

And now Calliope met the enemy's tactics in kind. Choosing with a

rapid eye the street from which the weakest and least accurate

fire had come, he invaded it at a double-quick, abandoning the

unprotected middle of the street. With rare cunning the opposing

force in that direction--one of the deputies and two of the valorous

volunteers--waited, concealed by beer barrels, until Calliope had

passed their retreat, and then peppered him from the rear. In another

moment they were reinforced by the marshal and his other men, and then

Calliope felt that in order to successfully prolong the delights of the

controversy he must find some means of reducing the great odds against

him. His eye fell upon a structure that seemed to hold out this promise,

providing he could reach it.

Not far away was the little railroad station, its building a strong

box house, ten by twenty feet, resting upon a platform four feet above

ground. Windows were in each of its walls. Something like a fort it

might become to a man thus sorely pressed by superior numbers.

Calliope made a bold and rapid spurt for it, the marshal's crowd

"smoking" him as he ran. He reached the haven in safety, the station

agent leaving the building by a window, like a flying squirrel, as the

garrison entered the door.

Patterson and his supporters halted under protection of a pile of

lumber and held consultations. In the station was an unterrified

desperado who was an excellent shot and carried an abundance of

ammunition. For thirty yards on either side of the besieged was a

stretch of bare, open ground. It was a sure thing that the man who

attempted to enter that unprotected area would be stopped by one of

Calliope's bullets.

The city marshal was resolved. He had decided that Calliope Catesby

should no more wake the echoes of Quicksand with his strident whoop.

He had so announced. Officially and personally he felt imperatively

bound to put the soft pedal on that instrument of discord. It played

bad tunes.

Standing near was a hand truck used in the manipulation of small

freight. It stood by a shed full of sacked wool, a consignment from

one of the sheep ranches. On this truck the marshal and his men piled

three heavy sacks of wool. Stooping low, Buck Patterson started for

Calliope's fort, slowly pushing this loaded truck before him for

protection. The posse, scattering broadly, stood ready to nip the

besieged in case he should show himself in an effort to repel the

juggernaut of justice that was creeping upon him. Only once did

Calliope make demonstration. He fired from a window, and some tufts of

wool spurted from the marshal's trustworthy bulwark. The return shots

from the posse pattered against the window frame of the fort. No loss

resulted on either side.

The marshal was too deeply engrossed in steering his protected

battleship to be aware of the approach of the morning train until he

was within a few feet of the platform. The train was coming up on the

other side of it. It stopped only one minute at Quicksand. What an

opportunity it would offer to Calliope! He had only to step out the

other door, mount the train, and away.

Abandoning his breastwork, Buck, with his gun ready, dashed up the

steps and into the room, driving upon the closed door with one heave

of his weighty shoulder. The members of the posse heard one shot fired

inside, and then there was silence.

At length the wounded man opened his eyes. After a blank space he

again could see and hear and feel and think. Turning his eyes about,

he found himself lying on a wooden bench. A tall man with a perplexed

countenance, wearing a big badge with "City Marshal" engraved upon it,

stood over him. A little old woman in black, with a wrinkled face and

sparkling black eyes, was holding a wet handkerchief against one of

his temples. He was trying to get these facts fixed in his mind and

connected with past events, when the old woman began to talk.

"There now, great, big, strong man! That bullet never tetched ye! Jest

skeeted along the side of your head and sort of paralysed ye for a

spell. I've heerd of sech things afore; cun-cussion is what they names

it. Abel Wadkins used to kill squirrels that way--barkin' 'em, Abe

called it. You jest been barked, sir, and you'll be all right in a

little bit. Feel lots better already, don't ye! You just lay still a

while longer and let me bathe your head. You don't know me, I reckon,

and 'tain't surprisin' that you shouldn't. I come in on that train

from Alabama to see my son. Big son, ain't he? Lands! you wouldn't

hardly think he'd ever been a baby, would ye? This is my son, sir."

Half turning, the old woman looked up at the standing man, her worn

face lighting with a proud and wonderful smile. She reached out one

veined and calloused hand and took one of her son's. Then smiling

cheerily down at the prostrate man, she continued to dip the

handkerchief in the waiting-room tin washbasin and gently apply it to

his temple. She had the benevolent garrulity of old age.

"I ain't seen my son before," she continued, "in eight years. One of

my nephews, Elkanah Price, he's a conductor on one of them railroads

and he got me a pass to come out here. I can stay a whole week on it,

and then it'll take me back again. Jest think, now, that little boy of

mine has got to be a officer--a city marshal of a whole town! That's

somethin' like a constable, ain't it? I never knowed he was a officer;

he didn't say nothin' about it in his letters. I reckon he thought his

old mother'd be skeered about the danger he was in. But, laws! I never

was much of a hand to git skeered. 'Tain't no use. I heard them guns

a-shootin' while I was gettin' off them cars, and I see smoke a-comin'

out of the depot, but I jest walked right along. Then I see son's face

lookin' out through the window. I knowed him at oncet. He met me at

the door, and squeezes me 'most to death. And there you was, sir,

a-lyin' there jest like you was dead, and I 'lowed we'd see what might

be done to help sot you up."

"I think I'll sit up now," said the concussion patient. "I'm feeling

pretty fair by this time."

He sat, somewhat weakly yet, leaning against the wall. He was a rugged

man, big-boned and straight. His eyes, steady and keen, seemed to

linger upon the face of the man standing so still above him. His look

wandered often from the face he studied to the marshal's badge upon

the other's breast.

"Yes, yes, you'll be all right," said the old woman, patting his arm,

"if you don't get to cuttin' up agin, and havin' folks shooting at

you. Son told me about you, sir, while you was layin' senseless on the

floor. Don't you take it as meddlesome fer an old woman with a son as

big as you to talk about it. And you mustn't hold no grudge ag'in' my

son for havin' to shoot at ye. A officer has got to take up for the

law--it's his duty--and them that acts bad and lives wrong has to

suffer. Don't blame my son any, sir--'tain't his fault. He's always

been a good boy--good when he was growin' up, and kind and 'bedient

and well-behaved. Won't you let me advise you, sir, not to do so no

more? Be a good man, and leave liquor alone and live peaceably and

goodly. Keep away from bad company and work honest and sleep sweet."

The black-mitted hand of the old pleader gently touched the breast of

the man she addressed. Very earnest and candid her old, worn face

looked. In her rusty black dress and antique bonnet she sat, near the

close of a long life, and epitomised the experience of the world.

Still the man to whom she spoke gazed above her head, contemplating

the silent son of the old mother.

"What does the marshal say?" he asked. "Does he believe the advice is

good? Suppose the marshal speaks up and says if the talk's all right?"

The tall man moved uneasily. He fingered the badge on his breast for a

moment, and then he put an arm around the old woman and drew her close

to him. She smiled the unchanging mother smile of three-score years,

and patted his big brown hand with her crooked, mittened fingers while

her son spake.

"I says this," he said, looking squarely into the eyes of the other

man, "that if I was in your place I'd follow it. If I was a drunken,

desp'rate character, without shame or hope, I'd follow it. If I was in

your place and you was in mine I'd say: 'Marshal, I'm willin' to swear

if you'll give me the chance I'll quit the racket. I'll drop the

tanglefoot and the gun play, and won't play hoss no more. I'll be a

good citizen and go to work and quit my foolishness. So help me God!'

That's what I'd say to you if you was marshal and I was in your

place."

"Hear my son talkin'," said the old woman softly. "Hear him, sir. You

promise to be good and he won't do you no harm. Forty-one year ago his

heart first beat ag'in' mine, and it's beat true ever since."

The other man rose to his feet, trying his limbs and stretching his

muscles.

"Then," said he, "if you was in my place and said that, and I was

marshal, I'd say: 'Go free, and do your best to keep your promise.'"

"Lawsy!" exclaimed the old woman, in a sudden flutter, "ef I didn't

clear forget that trunk of mine! I see a man settin' it on the

platform jest as I seen son's face in the window, and it went plum out

of my head. There's eight jars of home-made quince jam in that trunk

that I made myself. I wouldn't have nothin' happen to them jars for a

red apple."

Away to the door she trotted, spry and anxious, and then Calliope

Catesby spoke out to Buck Patterson:

"I just couldn't help it, Buck. I seen her through the window a-comin'

in. She never had heard a word 'bout my tough ways. I didn't have the

nerve to let her know I was a worthless cuss bein' hunted down by the

community. There you was lyin' where my shot laid you, like you was

dead. The idea struck me sudden, and I just took your badge off and

fastened it onto myself, and I fastened my reputation onto you. I told

her I was the marshal and you was a holy terror. You can take your

badge back now, Buck."

With shaking fingers Calliope began to unfasten the disc of metal from

his shirt.

"Easy there!" said Buck Patterson. "You keep that badge right where it

is, Calliope Catesby. Don't you dare to take it off till the day your

mother leaves this town. You'll be city marshal of Quicksand as long

as she's here to know it. After I stir around town a bit and put 'em

on I'll guarantee that nobody won't give the thing away to her. And

say, you leather-headed, rip-roarin', low-down son of a locoed

cyclone, you follow that advice she give me! I'm goin' to take some of

it myself, too."

"Buck," said Calliope feelingly, "ef I don't I hope I may--"

"Shut up," said Buck. "She's a-comin' back."

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