AN ANECDOTE OF REAL LIFE.

At the beginning of the present century a certain regiment was ordered

to Ireland, and was very soon dispersed over various districts. One

detachment was sent to Ballybrag, and when the officer in command

and his two subalterns met at the wretched pothouse (for it was

scarcely an inn) where they were to mess, and began to discuss their

prospects of amusement, they were quite thrown out. There was no

visiting, no hunting, no shooting, no billiard-table, no horses to

ride, no milliners to flirt with, not so much as even 'a bridge to

spit over.' In those days military men had rarely a literary turn, but

books became of so much importance, that they read over the few they

possessed, and sent to the nearest town, which was very distant, for

more. Active amusement, however, was what they chiefly desired; and

one evening the countenances of all three became animated, during a

listless ramble, at the sight of a boy in a crownless hat, torn coat,

and nether integuments held on by a single button; he was shouting

forth 'The County Tyrone,' as he dangled a brace of trout in one hand,

and switched the air with a long wand he held in the other, his curly

hair blowing over his bright rosy countenance in the fresh breeze, the

picture of health and careless happiness.

'Hollo! my fine fellow! where did you catch these trout?'

'Plase your honour, in the Junnagh, just beyant.'

'Beyant! where's that?'

'Just behind them hills there's plenty. If I had but a fishing-rod, and

something more sinsible nor a crooked pin!'

'What a handsome intelligent boy! What's your name?'

'Patrick O'Sale, plase your honour.'

'Well, Paddy, you'll show us the trouting stream, and I'll give you a

shilling.'

Paddy O'Sale had heard of a shilling, but had never yet seen one; so

his gratitude was unbounded: he not only showed them the stream, but

made rush-baskets for the fish they caught, told them tales, sung

them songs, and, in short, by his good-humour and intelligent fun,

very much enlivened their stay at Ballybrag. He was very proud of the

notice of these gentlemen, was happy to be employed in doing anything

for them, and when the route came, manifested so much genuine sorrow,

that they resolved to adopt him, and make him, in fact, a _fils du

régiment_. He accordingly began his military career as a fifer in the

--th regiment, and when older, entered the ranks, and became servant

to his first friend, Captain B----. Very soon he distinguished himself

by his extraordinary intelligence and orderly conduct, which promoted

him to the rank of sergeant; twice he headed a forlorn-hope, and upon

all occasions showed so much bravery and prudence, that upon the

first vacancy he was unanimously recommended for an ensigncy, which

he obtained, retaining as an officer the good opinion he had before

possessed of all his former comrades. He was a remarkably handsome man,

and, we need scarcely observe, a very clever one also, taking advantage

of all that fell in his way as to education, &c. But alas! no one is

perfect; and Patrick O'Sale was vain and extremely ambitious: so, not

wishing to remain where his very humble origin was so well known, he

exchanged into another regiment, and very soon became equally popular

with his new companions as he had been with his old friends of the

--th.

The peace reduced him and many others to half-pay, and with it and his

handsome person he resolved to take his chance of fortune. He settled

himself in a town on the north coast of France, and looked about for

a wife. Not long had he to wait: his proficiency in French, which his

quick capacity enabled him to pick up easily, opened many doors which

were shut against his higher-born but less talented compatriots; and

ere long, the widow of a hotel-keeper, twenty years his senior, gave

him to understand that he needed but to propose. Whether this was

in all respects the prize he looked for it is hard to say; but they

married, and lived together three years, during which time he behaved

to her with affectionate kindness; and when she died, she left him all

that was in her power, which, although much less than he had hoped

for, made up, together with his half-pay, a reasonably good income.

This, although it would have been a mere pittance to most men, seemed a

fortune to our adventurer; and with it he started for Paris, where he

made so good a figure, that a young and handsome widow manifested the

same admiration his former less distinguished wife had done. We need

not enter into a description of the affair further than to say that

it terminated as the other had done--in marriage. While arranging the

preliminaries, the lady objected to his name.

'O'Sale!' cried she (_eau sale!_--dirty water!); 'never can I follow

such a name into a drawing-room!'

'I am very sorry, but it is my name.'

'Is there no _title_ in your family?'

'No,' stoutly answered the quondam Paddy.

'What, then, is the name of your father's estate?'

He thought of the cabin in which he had passed his childhood--the pig,

his playmate that had paid its rent--his father, in his long frieze

coat, with a hay-band round his hat--and his mother, attired in the

fluttering rags which so many of the Irish seem to think impart an

airy smartness to their dress; perhaps, too, he thought with regret of

the warm hearts that had beat beneath them, so fond, so proud of him;

and the 'sunshine' of his own 'breast,' that, in spite of his almost

uninterrupted good-fortune, had never bounded so lightly since: but at

anyrate he answered with admirably-acted quiet dignity, 'It is, alas!

no longer in our family.'

'But,' persisted the lady, 'you were born near some village--in some

parish that had a name?'

'The village of Ballybrag was not far from our residence.'

'A la bonne heure--that will do excellently well! Call yourself the

Baron de Ballybrag.'

'Call myself?'

'Mais oui, why not? I shall not object to be named De Ballybrag.'

She accordingly had her cards printed 'La B^{nne} de Ballybrag,' and

her husband, who, after all, had a fondness for his patronymic, left

his with his acquaintances as the Baron O'Sale de Ballybrag. One of

these I preserve as a memento of the odd characters and adventures

which so frequently make real life resemble a romance.

Chambers's Edinburgh Journal, No. 306 New Series, Saturday, November 10, 1849 · 第 14 / 24 题