_Lady._ "Well, Count, what have you lost? Your lunch?"
_The Count_ (_who breakfasted some time before six o'clock, a.m._). "No,
no! Donner und wetter! I have him, but I have lost my teeth!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: HORRIBLE PREDICAMENT
_Gent_ (_on mettlesome hireling_). "'Elp! 'Elp! Somebody stop 'im! 'E's
going to jump, and I can't!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: MOST EMBARRASSING
_Lady (hiding behind bush, to Mr. Spoodle, who has captured her horse)_.
"Oh, thank you so much! But I hope to goodness you have found my skirt
as well!"
[_Nice position for Mr. Spoodle, who is very bashful, and has seen
nothing of the garment_.
]
* * * * *
[Illustration: "DO NOT SPEAK TO THE MAN AT THE WHEEL"
_'Arry_ (_puffing a "twopenny smoke," to huntsman, making unsuccessful
cast_). "Very bad scent."
_Huntsman._ "Shockin'! Smells like burnin' seaweed!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: OBEYING ORDERS
"It's all very well for master to say 'Keep close to Miss Vera,
Miles'--but I want to know 'oo's going to take Miles to the
'orsepital?"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: GALLANTRY REWARDED
_Lady_ (_having had a fall at a brook, and come out the wrong side,--to
stranger who has caught her horse_). "Oh, I'm _so_ much obliged to you!
Now, do you mind just bringing him over?"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: JUST OFF
"Ride her on the snaffle, Tom! Don't ride her on the curb!"
"Hang your curb and snaffle! I've enough to do to _ride her on the
saddle!_"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: A Suggestion: No more trouble from wire, damage to
fences, etc.]
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE TRIALS OF AN M.F.H.
_M.F.H._ (_to misguided enthusiast who has been cheering hounds on a bad
scent_). "Now then! Am I going to hunt the hounds or are you?"
_Enthusiast_ (_sweetly_). "Just as you please, m'lord, just as you
please."]
* * * * *
[Illustration: OFF HIS GUARD
_Farmer_ (_just coming up_). "Young gentleman riding your brown horse, my
lord, had nasty accident a field or two back. Barbed wire--very ugly
cuts!"
_My Lord._ "Tut--tut--tut! Dear--dear--dear! Not the horse, I hope?"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: "BON VOYAGE!"
_Mossu (shot into a nice soft loam), exultingly._ "A--ha--a! I am safe
o-vere! Now it is your turn, Meester Timbre Jompre! Come on, sare!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: ON THE WAY HOME FROM THE EXMOOR HUNT--NO KILL