_Mr. Badgerer, Q.C._ (_rising to cross-examine_). Then you assert that
the golden dinner-service which we are inquiring about was in your
possession on the evening of July 26th at half-past eight o'clock?
_Plaintiff._ I do.
_Mr. Badgerer, Q.C._ And that when you went to take them out of the
strong-box at 9:15 for your party they had disappeared?
_Plaintiff._ Quite so.
_Mr. Badgerer, Q.C._ Pardon my suggesting such a thing, but I
am instructed to ask you whether, when you paid £800 to the
rate-collector for arrears of rates on the very next day, you had not
obtained that sum by selling a portion of this gold plate yourself?
_The Judge._ Really, Mr. BADGERER, this won't do at all. "Legal
bullying" is a thing of the past, and I shall have to commit you for
contempt if you make these unworthy suggestions to the Witness.
_Mr. Badgerer, Q.C._ But, m'Lud, the whole point of the defence is
that the Plaintiff himself sto--
_The Judge_ (_hastily interposing_). --Sh! You must not talk like
that. Remember that "the floor of the Court is _not_ the same thing as
the interior of a coal-barge."
_Mr. Badgerer, Q.C._ (_sulkily_). Very well. But I really don't know
how I am to conduct my case if your Ludship intervenes to check me.
(_To_ Witness.) I can ask you _this_ at any rate. Did you or did you
not run up to Town by an early train the morning after the robbery?
_Plaintiff._ Certainly I did. I went to see my tailor, in Bond Street.
_Mr. Badgerer, Q.C._ And why did you, then, go all the way from Bond
Street to the City, eh?
_Plaintiff_ (_gravelled_). My Lord, I must appeal for protection. The
question is a bullying one.
_The Judge._ Oh, certainly! Counsel has no right to ask such things.
He ought to take the charitable view of your actions, and suppose that
you went to the City for a mid-day chop, or because you wanted to
look at St. Paul's, or something of that kind. We must really try and
conduct our business as nobly as we can.
_Mr. Badgerer, Q.C._ (_pleasantly_). "_Que Messieurs les assassins
commencent!_" Then we will presume that your predilection for City
chops is so great, that you went a couple of miles out of your way to
get one, and that your reason for dropping in at the establishment
of Messrs. BLANK, Goldsmiths, and offering them half-a-dozen
dessert-plates--
_The Judge_ (_interrupting_). Oh, really, this is not at all--
_Plaintiff._ Quite the reverse. I won't stay here to be insulted by
anybody!
[_Exit hurriedly._
_Mr. Badgerer, Q.C._ I am afraid the Police Officers who are waiting
outside to arrest our friend who has just left the box will also be
denounced as "legal bullies." But after all one can't cross-examine a
rogue on rosewater principles. And if we Barristers sometimes do make
things rather rough for innocent Witnesses, by dragging out unpleasant
incidents in their careers, or suggesting some that never occurred, by
so acting we provide a powerful inducement to people to avoid having
such unpleasant incidents to be dragged out. And if the fear of
cross-examination prevents actions being brought, it thereby also
prevents would-be litigants ruining themselves in law expenses. With
submission, m'Lud, and if your Ludship pleases, I would say that we
"legal bullies" are public benefactors in disguise.
_The Judge._ There's something in what you say, Mr. BADGERER. But the
disguise need not be so complete as it is. I suppose it's a verdict
for the Defendants? _With_ costs, yes. Gentlemen of the Jury, I can't
sufficiently express my sense of the nobility of your conduct in
listening to the evidence as you have done--though, of course, if
you had _not_ listened, I should have committed you all for contempt
in double-quick time--and you will now return a verdict for the
Defendants.
[_Left sitting._
* * * * *
"THE TRAVELLING COMPANIONS."--No. XXVI. next week.
* * * * *
[Illustration: LEGAL IMPROVEMENTS.