CHAPTER VII.

A MUD-MARCH AND A SHAM BATTLE.

We had been quietly lying in our winter quarters there at Belle

Plains some two months and more, without having yet had much to

vary the dull monotony of a soldier's everyday life. There was,

of course, plenty of work in the way of picket duty and endless

drilling, and no lack of fun in the camp of one kind or other; but

of all this we gradually wearied, and began to long for something

new. Not that we were especially anxious for the fatigues of the

march and the stirring scenes of the battle-field (of all which we

were so far blissfully ignorant): we simply felt that we were tired

of the monotony of camp life, and, knowing that great things were

before us, with all the ardor of young men for strange experiences

and new adventures, we gradually became more and more anxious for

the campaign to open. Alas! we knew not what it was we wished for;

for when this celebrated campaign of '63 was ended, the few of us

who remained to build our second winter quarters had seen quite

enough of marching and fighting to last us the rest of our natural

days.

However, it was with feelings of relief that we suddenly received

orders for the march early in the afternoon of Monday, April 20.

As good luck would have it, Andy and I had just finished a hearty

meal consisting in the main of apple-fritters; for by this time we

had repaired our chimney, which had been destroyed by the fire, and

had several times already prepared our fritters without burning our

house down over our heads in the operation. Having finished our

meal, we were lying lazily back against our knapsacks, disputing as

to whose turn it was to wash the dishes, when Andy, hearing some

outcry which I had not noticed, suddenly leaped out of the little

door in the side of our cabin into the company street, exclaiming

as he did so,--

"What's that, sergeant? What's up?"

"Orders to move, that's all, my boy," said the sergeant. "Orders to

move. Pack up immediately."

"Where are we going?" queried a dozen voices in chorus; for the

news spread like fire in a clearing, and the boys came tumbling

out of their cabins pell-mell and gathered about the sergeant in a

group.

"You tell me, and I'll tell you," answered the sergeant, with a

shrug of his shoulders, as he shouted,--

"Pack up immediately, men! We go in light marching order. No

knapsacks; only a shelter or a gum-blanket, and three days' rations

in your haversacks; and be lively now!"

It was not long before we were all ready, with our thirty

hard-tack, a piece of pork, and a little coffee and sugar in our

haversacks, and our gum-blankets or shelters rolled and twisted

into a shape somewhat resembling an immense horse-collar, slung

over the shoulder diagonally across the body, as was universally

the custom with the troops when knapsacks were to be dispensed with

in winter, or had been thrown away in summer. We drummer-boys,

tightening our drums and tuning them up with a tap-tap-tap of

the drumstick, took station on the parade-ground up on the hill,

awaiting the adjutant's signal to beat the assembly. At the first

tap of our drums the whole regiment, in full view below us,

poured out of quarters, like ants tumbling out of their hill when

disturbed by the thrust of a stick. As the men fell into line and

marched by companies up the hill to the parade-ground where the

regiment was ordinarily formed, cheer upon cheer went up; for the

monotony of camp life was now plainly at an end, and we were at

last to be up and doing, though where, or how, or what, no one

could tell.

When a drum-head is wet, it at once loses all its peculiar charm

and power. On the present occasion our drum-heads were soon soaked,

for it was raining hard. So, unloosening the ropes, we slung our

useless sheepskins over our shoulders, as the order was given,

"Forward--route-step--march!" The order "route-step" was always

a welcome and merciful command, and the reader must bear in mind

that troops on the march always go by the "route-step." They march

usually four abreast, indeed, but make no effort to keep step;

for marching in that way, though good enough for a mile or two on

parade, would soon become intolerable if kept up for any great

distance. In "route-step" each man picks his way, selecting his

steps at his pleasure, and carrying or shifting his arms at his

convenience. Even then, marching is no easy matter, especially when

it is raining, and you are marching over a clay soil,--and it did

seem to us that the soil about Belle Plains was the toughest and

most slippery clay in the world, at least in the roads that wound,

serpent-like, around the hills amongst which we were marching,

where, as we well knew, many a poor mule during the winter had

stuck fast, and had to be literally pulled out or left to die in

his tracks after the harness had been ripped off his back.

At first, however, we had tolerable marching, for we took across

the fields, and kept well upon the high ground as long as we could.

We passed some good farms and comfortable looking houses, where

we should have liked to stop and buy bread and butter, or get

"hoecake" and milk; but there was no time for that, for we made no

halt longer than was necessary to allow the rear to "close up,"

and then were up and away again at a swift pace.

The afternoon wore on. Night set in, and we began to wonder, in

all the simplicity of new troops, whether Uncle Sam expected us to

march all night as well as all day? To make matters still worse, as

night fell dark and drizzling, we left the high ground and came out

on the main road of those regions; and if we never before knew what

Virginia mud was like, we knew it then. It was not only knee-deep,

but also so sticky, that when you set one foot down, you could

scarcely pull the other out. As for myself, I found my side-arms

(if indeed they merited the name) a provoking incumbrance.

Drummer-boys carried no arms except a straight thin sword fastened

to a broad leathern belt about the waist. Of this we had been in

the outstart quite proud, and had kept it polished with great

care. However, this "toad-sticker," as we were pleased to call

it, on this mud-march caused each of us drummer-boys a world of

trouble, and well illustrated the saying that "pride goeth before

a fall." For as we groped about in the darkness and slid and

plunged about in the mud, this miserable sword was forever getting

tangled up with the wearer's legs, so that before he was aware of

it, down he went on his face in the mud. My own weapon gave me so

many falls that night, that I was quite out of conceit with it.

When we reached camp after this march was done, I handed it to the

quartermaster, agreeing to pay the price of it thrice over rather

than carry it any more. The rest of the drummer-boys, I believe,

carried theirs as far as Chancellorsville, and there solemnly hung

them up on an oak-tree, where they are unto this day, if nobody has

found them and carried them off as trophies of war.

We had a little darky along with us on this march who had an

experience which was quite as provoking to him as it was amusing

to us. The darky's name was Bill. Other name he had none, except

"Shorty," which had been given him by the boys because of his

remarkably short stature. For although he was as strong as a man,

and quite as old-featured, he was nevertheless so dwarfed in

size that the name Shorty seemed to become him better than his

original name of Bill. Well, Shorty had been employed by one of

our captains as cook, or, as seemed more likely on the present

occasion, as a sort of sumpter-mule. For the captain, having an eye

to comfort on the march, had loaded the poor darky with a pack of

blankets, tents, pans, kettles, and general camp equipage, so large

and bulky, that it is no exaggeration to say that Shorty's pack

was quite as large as himself. All along it had been a wonder to

us how he had managed to pull through so far with all that immense

bundle on his back; but, with strength far beyond his size, he had

trudged doggedly on at the captain's heels, over hill and through

field, until we came at nightfall to the main road. There, like

many another sumpter-mule, he stuck fast in the mud, so that, puff

and pull as he might, he could not pull either foot out, and had to

be dragged out by two men, to the great merriment of all who in the

growing darkness were aware of Shorty's misfortune.

At length it became so dark that no one was able to see an inch

before his face, and we lost the road. Torches were then lighted,

in order to find it. Then we forded a creek, and then on and on

we went, till at length we were allowed to halt and fall out on

either side of the road into a last year's cornfield, to "make

fires and cook coffee."

To make a fire was a comparatively easy matter, notwithstanding

the rain; for some one or other always had matches, and there were

plenty of rails at hand, and these were dry enough when split open

with a hatchet or an axe. In a few moments the fence around the

cornfield was carried off rail by rail, and everywhere was heard

the sound of axes and hatchets, the premonitory symptoms of roaring

camp-fires, which were soon everywhere blazing along the road.

"Harry," said Lieutenant Dougal, "I haven't any tin cup, and when

you get your coffee cooked, I believe I'll share it with you; may

I?"

"Certainly, lieutenant. But where shall I get water to make the

coffee with? It's so dark, that nobody can see how the land lies so

as to find a spring."

Without telling the lieutenant what I did, I scooped up a tin cup

full of water (whether clear or muddy I could not tell; it was too

dark to see) out of a corn-furrow. I had the less hesitation in

doing so, because I found all the rest were doing the same, and I

argued that if they could stand it, why I could too--and so could

the lieutenant. Tired and wet and sleepy as I was, I could not

help but be sensible of the strange, weird appearance the troops

presented, as, coming out of the surrounding darkness, I faced

the brilliant fires with groups of busy men about them. There

they sat, squatting about the fires, each man with his quart tin

cup suspended on one end of his iron ramrod or on some convenient

stick, and each eager and impatient to be the first to bring his

cup to the boiling-point. Thrusting my cup in amongst the dozen

others already smoking amid the crackling flames, I soon had the

pleasure of seeing the foam rise to the surface,--a sure indication

that my coffee was nearly done. When the lieutenant and I had

finished drinking it, I called his attention to the half inch of

mud in the bottom of the cup, and asked him how he liked coffee

made out of water taken from a last year's corn-furrow? "First

rate," he replied, as he took out his tobacco pouch and pipe for a

smoke, "first rate; gives it the real old 'Virginny' flavor, you

see."

We were not permitted, however, to enjoy the broad glare of our

fires very long after our coffee was disposed of, for we soon

heard the command to "fall in" coming down the line. It was now

half-past eleven o'clock, and away we went again slap-dash in the

thick darkness and bottomless mud. At three o'clock in the morning,

during a brief halt, I fell asleep while sitting on my drum, and

tumbled over into the road from sheer exhaustion. Partly aroused by

my fall, I spread out my shelter on the road where the mud seemed

the shallowest, and lay down to sleep, chilled to the bone and

shivering like an aspen.

At six o'clock we were roused up, and a pretty appearance we

presented too, for every man was covered with mud from neck to

heel. However, daylight having now come to our assistance, we

marched on in merrier mood in the direction of Port Royal, a

place or village on the Rappahannock some thirty miles below

Fredericksburg, and reached our destination about ten o'clock that

forenoon.

As we emerged from the woods and came out into the open fields,

with the river in full view about a fourth of a mile in front,

we fully believed that now, at last, we were to go at once into

battle. And so, indeed, it seemed, as the long column halted in a

cornfield a short distance from the river, and the pontoon trains

came up, and the pioneers were sent forward to help lay the bridge,

and signal-flags began flying, and officers and orderlies began to

gallop gayly over the field--of course we were now about to go into

our first battle.

"I guess we'll have to cross the river, Harry," said Andy, as we

stood together beside a corn shock and watched the men putting down

the pontoons, "and then we'll have to go in on 'em and gobble 'em

up."

"Yes; gobbling up is all right. But suppose that over in the woods

yonder, on the other side the river, there might happen to be a

lot of Johnnies watching us, and all ready to sweep down on us and

gobble _us_ up, while we are crossing the river--eh? That wouldn't

be nearly so nice, would it?"

"Hah!" exclaimed Andy, "I'd just like to see 'em do it once! Look

there! There come the boys that'll take the Johnnies through the

brush!"

Looking in the direction in which Andy was pointing, that is,

away to the skirt of the woods in our rear, I beheld a battery of

artillery coming up at full gallop towards us and making straight

for the river.

"Just you wait, now," said Andy, with a triumphant snap of his

fingers, "till you hear those old bull-dogs begin to bark, and

you'll see the Johnnies get up and dust!"

As the battery came near the spot where we were standing, and could

be plainly seen, I exclaimed:

"Why, Andy, I don't believe those dogs can bark at all! Don't you

see? They are wooden logs covered over with black gum-blankets

and mounted on the front-wheels of wagons, and--as sure as you're

alive--it's our quartermaster on his gray horse in command of the

battery!"

"Well, I declare!" said Andy, with a look of mingled surprise and

disappointment.

There was no disputing the fact. Dummies they were, those cannon

which Andy had so exultingly declared were to take the Johnnies

through the brush; and we began at once to suspect that this

whole mud-march was only a miserable ruse, or feint of war, got

up expressly for the purpose of deceiving the enemy and making

him believe that the whole Union army was there in full force,

when such was by no means the case. So there was not going to be

any battle after all, then? Such indeed, as we learned a little

later in the day, was the true state of things. Nevertheless the

pioneers went on with their work of putting down the pontoon-boats

for a bridge, and our gallant quartermaster, on his bobtail gray,

with drawn sword, and shouting out his commands like a veritable

major-general, swept by us with his battery of wooden guns, and

then away out into the field like a whirlwind, apparently bent on

the most bloody work imaginable. Now the battery would dash up and

unlimber and get into position here; then away on a gallop across

the field and go into position there; while the quartermaster would

meanwhile swing his sword and shout himself hoarse, as if in the

very crisis of a battle.

It was, then, all, alas! a ruse, and there wouldn't be any battle

after all! I think the general feeling among the men was one

of disappointment, when about nine o'clock that night we were

all withdrawn from the riverside under cover of darkness, and

bivouacked in the woods to our rear, where we were ordered to

make as many and as large fires as we could, so as to attract the

enemy's attention, and make him believe that the whole Army of

the Potomac was concentrating at that point; whereas the truth

was that, instead of making any movement thirty miles _below_

Fredericksburg, the Union army, ten days later, crossed the

river thirty miles _above_ Fredericksburg, and met the enemy at

Chancellorsville.

[Illustration: THE QUARTERMASTER'S TRIUMPH.]

But I have never forgotten our gallant quartermaster, and what a

fine appearance he made as the commanding officer of a battery of

artillery. It was an amusing sight; for the reader must remember

that a quartermaster, having to do only with army supplies, was

a non-combatant, that is to say, he did no fighting, and in most

cases "stayed by the stuff" among his army wagons, which were

usually far enough to the rear in time of battle. Thinking of this

little episode on our first mud-march, there comes to my mind a

conversation I recently had with a gentleman, my neighbor, who was

also a quartermaster in the Union army.

"I was down in Virginia on business last spring," said the

ex-quartermaster, "in the neighborhood of Warrenton. (You remember

Warrenton? Fine country down there.) And I found the people very

kind and friendly, and inclined to forget the late unpleasantness.

Well, one man came up to me, and says he:

"'Major, you were in the war, weren't you?'

"'Yes,' said I, 'I was; but (I might as well admit it) I was on the

other side of the fence. I was in the Union army.'

"'You were? Well, Major, did you ever kill anybody?'

"'Oh yes,' said I; 'lots of 'em,--lots of 'em, sir.'

"'You don't tell me!' said the Virginian. 'And if I might be so

bold as to ask--how did you generally kill them?'

"'Well,' said I, 'I never like to tell, because bragging is not

in my line; but I'll tell you. You see, I never liked this thing

of shooting people. It seemed to me a barbarous business, and

besides, I was a kind of Quaker, and had conscientious scruples

about bearing arms. And so, when the war broke out and I found

I'd have to enter the army, maybe, whether I wanted to or not,

I enlisted and got in as a quartermaster, thinking that in that

position I wouldn't have to kill anybody with a gun, anyhow. But

war is a dreadful thing, a dreadful thing, sir. And I found that

even a quartermaster had to take a hand at killing people; and the

way I took for it was this: I always managed to have a good swift

horse, and as soon as things would begin to look a little like

fighting, and the big guns would begin to boom, why I'd clap spurs

to my horse and make for the rear as fast as ever I could. And then

when your people would come after me, they never _could_ catch me;

they'd always get out of breath trying to come up to me. And in

that way I've killed dozens of your people, sir, dozens of them,

and all without powder or ball. They couldn't catch me, and always

died for want of breath trying to get hold of me!'"

We slept in the woods that night under the dark pines and beside

our great camp-fires; and early the next morning took up the line

of march for home. We marched all day over the hills, and as the

sun was setting, came at last to a certain hilltop whence we could

look down upon the odd-looking group of cabins and wigwams which we

recognized as our camp, and which we hailed with cheers as our home.

[Illustration]

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