1. Study the editorial in Appendix 1 for unforewarned changes in mood and
assemblages of mutually uncongenial words. Rewrite the worst two
paragraphs to remove all blemishes of these kinds.
2. Compare Burke's speech (Appendix 2) with Defoe's narrative (Appendix 5)
for the difference in tone between them. Does each keep the tone it adopts
(that is, except for desirable changes)?
3. Note the changes in tone in the Seven Ages of Man (Appendix 4). Do the
changes in substance make these changes in tone desirable?
4. In the following passages, make such changes and omissions as are
necessary to unify the tone:
How I loved to stroll, on those long Indian summer afternoons, into the
quiet meadows where the mild-breathed kine were grazing! An old cow that
switches her tail at flies and puts her foot in the bucket when you milk
her, I absolutely loathe. How I loved to hear the birds sing, to listen to
the fall of ripe autumnal apples!
It wasn't the girl yclept Sally. This girl was not so vivacious as Sally,
but she had a mug on her that was a lot less ugly to look at. Gee, when
she stood there in front of me with those mute, ineffable, sympathetic
eyes of hers, I was ready to throw a duck-fit.
Old Grimes is dead, that dear old soul;
We'll never see him more;
He wore a great long overcoat,
All buttoned down before.
<I. Abstract vs. Concrete Terms; General vs. Specific Terms>
Abstract terms convey ideas; concrete terms call up pictures. If we say
"Honesty is the best policy," we speak abstractly. Nobody can see or hear
or touch the thing _honesty_ or the thing _policy_; the
apprehension of them must be purely intellectual. But if we say "The
rat began to gnaw the rope," we speak concretely. _Rat_, _gnaw_,
and _rope_ are tangible, perceptible things; the words bring to us
visions of particular objects and actions.
Now when we engage in explanations and discussions of principles,
theories, broad social topics, and the like--when we expound, moralize, or
philosophize,--our subject matter is general. We approach our readers or
hearers on the thinking, the rational side of their natures. Our
phraseology is therefore normally abstract. But when, on the other hand,
we narrate an event or depict an appearance, our subject matter is
specific. We approach our readers or hearers on the sensory or emotional
side of their natures. Our phraseology is therefore normally concrete.
You should be able to express yourself according to either method. You
should be able to choose the words best suited to make people understand;
also to choose the words best suited to make people realize vividly and
feel. Now to some extent you will adopt the right method by intuition. But
if you do not reinforce your intuition with a careful study of words, you
will vacillate from one method to the other and strike crude discords of
phrasing. Of course if you switch methods intelligently and of purpose,
that is quite another matter. An abstract discussion may be enlivened by a
concrete illustration. A concrete narrative or portrayal may be given
weight and rationalized by generalization. Moreover many things lie on the
borderland between the two domains and may properly be attached to either.
Thus the abstraction is legitimate when you say or write: "A man wishes to
acquire the comforts and luxuries, as well as the necessaries, of life."
The concreteness is likewise legitimate when you say or write: "John Smith
wishes to earn cake as well as bread and butter."
In most instances general terms are the same as abstract, and specific the
same as concrete. Some subtle discriminations may, however, be made. Of
these the only one that need concern us here is that the wording of a
passage may not be abstract and yet be general. Suppose, for example, you
were telling the story of the prodigal son and should say: "He was very
hungry, and could not obtain food anywhere. When he had come to his
senses, he thought, 'I should be better off at home.'" This language is
not abstract, but it is general rather than specific. When Jesus told the
story, he wished to put the situation as poignantly as possible and
therefore avoided both abstract and general terms: "And he would fain have
filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave
unto him. And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of
my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!"
Many a person who shuns abstractions and talks altogether of the concrete
things of life, yet traps out circumstance in general rather than specific
terms. To do this is always to sacrifice force.