I listened to hear the divine drumbeat. I set myself to march under
sealed orders.
To most of us the Professor's speech had been pessimism compact; to me
it was inspiring, though wofully lacking in details. I seemed to be
marking time. The duties which lay at my hand were unchanged, and I
was plodding along as I had plodded before through a commonplace
routine. I sought to give to my duties some of the glamour of
conquests, but they soon failed to lend themselves to any simulation of
romance. After all, marching to the divine drumbeat was simply to
follow the precepts ingrained in me as a child, but it is much easier
to make a quick charge amid the blare of bugles than to plod along day
after day to the monotonous grumble of the drum. I wished that the
Professor had been a little more explicit, and yet his last words were
always with me. It was as though they were intended for me alone, and
I coupled them with his admonition to me that day long ago in the
cabin: "Get out of the valley. Do something. Be somebody." My great
desire was to see him, for I believed that he could help me to set my
course. I wanted help, and my father, my natural adviser, was of
little service to me. To him my opportunity was the small one that lay
at home. Mr. Pound had washed his hands of me that day when I was bold
enough to renounce my purpose of entering the ministry, and now, when
in the exultation of the moment my mind reverted to that abandoned
plan, I found my own ideas too nebulous to permit me to set myself up
as a teacher of divine truth. The law had taken its place with the
making of nails, and I did not believe that when my race was run, when
I had counted up the wills I had drawn, the bad causes I had defended,
the briefs I had written in useless litigations, I could content myself
with the thought that I had fought a good fight. For there is a good
fight, and to the weakest of us must come a sense of futility in those
moments when we awaken from our sloth and hear the distant din of the
battle. I thought of medicine, of all professions in itself the most
altruistic, and then I found myself face to face with that distressing
commonplace, the need of money, for though my father was accounted a
rich man in the valley, his wealth was proportioned to the valley
standards. A commercial life alone seemed left to me, and then I
remembered the million kegs of nails, and I recalled Rufus Blight's
achievement of giving away a prize with every pound of tea. Here
indeed was a march through waste-lands.
You will think that I was a dreamy, egotistical youth for whom not only
the ways of home but the ways of the mass of his fellows were not quite
good enough. Perhaps I was. But you must remember a boyhood passed in
loneliness; long days when my feet followed the windings of the creek,
but my eyes were turned to the distant mountains; the evenings when
from the barn-bridge I watched the shadows fall and saw the valley
peopled with mysterious shapes. I was ambitious, and I coddled myself
with the belief that my ambition did not spring from selfishness, from
what the Professor had called the yearning for something more, but from
the desire for something better. I did not drag up the roots of my
motives to light. Had I, the cynical philosopher must have found that
they were nurtured in the same soil that nurtured the ambitions of
Judge Bundy.
I had faith in the Professor and I wanted to find him. I could see the
inconsistency of his practice and his preaching, but truth is truth no
matter by whom uttered. I believed that he could help me, and I wrote
to him in the care of Valerian Harassan. The writing of this letter
was an evening's labor, for in it I had to tell him what had passed
after that day when he had fled into the mountains, of the coming of
Rufus Blight and the disappearance of Penelope out of my life; I had
much to ask him of her and of himself, and then to lead on to my
present quandary. The labor was without any reward. Weeks passed and
he did not answer. I wrote to Valerian Harassan and was honored with a
prompt reply--his friend Mr. Henderson had returned to San Francisco
and he had forwarded my letter there. "But you had as well try to
correspond with the will-o'-the-wisp," he wrote. "When last I talked
with him, he spoke rather vaguely of going to China and making a trip
afoot to Lhasa." Nevertheless, I wrote again, and it was a year later
when both of my letters came back to me bearing the post-marks of many
cities from coast to coast, to be opened at last by the dead-letter
office.
The Professor was silent. Within a week of my graduation I found
myself still in a quandary as to my course, and then it came about that
it was set for me by the last man in the world whom at that moment I
would have chosen for a pilot. This was Boller of '89.
Boller's father was the owner of a daily newspaper in a small inland
city, and in the two years since he had left McGraw the son had risen
to the chief editorship. His return to college that year was in the
nature of a triumphal progress. He sat with the faculty in the morning
chapel service, and Doctor Todd took occasion to refer to the presence
of a distinguished alumnus who had made his mark in the profession of
journalism. In two years Boller had matured to the wisdom and manner
of fifty. He had abandoned the exaggerated clothes of his college days
for careless, baggy black. His hair had grown long and was dishevelled
by much combing with the fingers, and the mustache, once so carefully
trimmed and curled, now drooped mournfully, and he had added a tiny
goatee to his facial adornments. Drooping glasses on his nose, with a
broad black ribbon suspended from them, gave him an appearance of
intellectuality, so astonishing a transformation that it was hard for
me to believe that this was the same Boller who had greeted me four
years before on the college steps. The next morning after his
reappearance Doctor Todd announced that our distinguished alumnus had
been induced to speak informally to the students that evening on
journalism and its appeal to young men. In the rôle of a very old man,
Boller from the chapel rostrum descanted learnedly on what he termed
the "greatest power for righteousness in modern times and the dynamic
force through the operation of which the race is to attain its ideals."
To my mind Boller's view of the power for righteousness troubled itself
chiefly with the opposing political party, as was shown by the instance
he cited where his own paper had exposed the corrupt Democratic ring in
Pokono County and had put in its place a group of Republican patriots.
Doctor Todd, however, said afterward that Boller had treated the
subject in masterly fashion and that he was proud that McGraw had had
its part in forming such a mind. While I had listened to Boller in all
seriousness, the Professor's diatribe was too vividly in my memory for
me to accept without reservation everything that our distinguished
alumnus said. But he did bring to my mind the idea that here possibly
was the opportunity which I sought, and long before he had finished my
thoughts had wandered far from the chapel and I was picturing myself in
an editorial chair and with a caustic pen attacking the devils of which
poor man is possessed.
I met Boller in the hall afterward, and as he took my arm
condescendingly and walked with me a little way I summoned up courage
to invite him to my room and there to open my heart to him.
He lighted one of his own cigars after having declined that which I
offered him, and this little evidence of his superior taste served to
confirm my opinion of his importance. He crossed his legs carelessly,
leaned back and watched a long spire of smoke rise ceilingward. "So
you are thinking of journalism, eh, Malcolm?"
"You have set me thinking of it," I returned. "Somehow the law doesn't
appeal to me any more. The truth is--" I hesitated, recalling how
Boller's subtle ridicule had shaken the purpose so carefully nourished
by my parents and Mr. Pound. Though his talk that night had been
filled with high-flying phrases about ideals of citizenship and useful
manhood, I still had lingering doubts of his entire sincerity, and I
cast about for some way of expressing my thoughts without making myself
ludicrous in his eyes.
"The truth is--" Boller repeated.
"That I want to take up work that means something more than bread and
butter," I responded. "I don't want to be a big fish in a small pond."
"And you think that journalism offers a chance of becoming a whale in a
big pond. It does, Malcolm, it does," said Boller. "Journalism is the
greatest power in the country to-day. We used to call you the Reverend
David. Well, if you still have any lingering desire to be a preacher,
the paper is the place for you, not the pulpit. The editorial is the
sermon of the future. If you would become a preacher, by all means
take up journalism. If you have red blood in your veins you will be a
journalist."
Having delivered this advice, Boller sat in silence, regarding me
through his drooping glasses and pulling at his goatee, and at that
moment I decided to be a journalist. It was the picture which Boller
made that settled my mind. There was something attractive in his
careless attire--the baggy clothes, the flowing tie; and the glasses
with the broad ribbon gave an air of dash and intellectuality which I
had never seen in the stiff uniform of the bar, even as worn by that
leader, Judge Bundy. It is often such absurd impressions on our
unsophisticated minds that set the course of our lives. It was so with
me. I compared Boller with Doctor Todd, with Mr. Pound, and in the
younger generation with Simmons of his own class, who had become
principal of a high-school, and I said to myself that the profession
which in two years had made him this confident, masterful man offered
the opportunity that I sought.
"If you have red blood, Malcolm--" Boller went on as he polished his
glasses. There was a suggestion in his careless manner that he waded
in red blood set flowing by his pen. "Journalism is one long fight.
If you have ideals, Malcolm--" He looked at me, and then my cheeks
flushed as by an inclination of the head I confessed to the possession
of ideals. "If you have ideals, you can make a fight for right. In
journalism we stand aloof from the play itself, but we endeavor to make
the actors perform their parts properly. You remember my description
of how we exposed the Pokono County ring. It's a fight like that all
the time, but you make yourself felt, you know."
Thoroughly pleased with the militant side of the profession, and having
decided that I should enter it, I lost no time inquiring how I should
begin. This question took some thought on Boller's part, and he combed
his hair with his fingers while he gave it consideration.
"I could put you on the _Sentinel_," he said at last. "You will have
to start at the bottom, as a reporter, you understand."
He evidently believed that I should jump at such a prospect, but he did
not know that the Professor had filled me with the hope of bigger
things. I had taken what Boller had said, and I enlarged it to a wider
scale of life. I had no intention of exchanging the opportunities of
Harlansburg for those of Coal City. Even the Pokono County gang would
be small game for me. But before I could thank Boller for his interest
and decline it, he hurried on to fix my salary and to explain the
nature of my work. He nettled me, and I protested with heat that I
wished to start in a broader field.
"That's all right, Malcolm," said my mentor, undisturbed by the
reflection on his own city. "But you can get an invaluable experience
on the _Sentinel_. If you start right for New York how are you going
to get a job? On the other hand, look at Bob Carmody. He learned with
us--three years--and now he has a splendid place on the New York
_Record_, making forty a week--covered the Douglas murder trial. Look
at Bush, James Woodbury Bush--he went to Philadelphia after two years
with us, and he is literary editor of the _Gazette_--landed it easily.
He has already published one book--'Anna Virumque'--a charmingly clever
story of early Babylon."
The success of Bob Carmody and James Woodbury Bush, while they
confirmed me in my respect for the profession of journalism and in my
resolve to enter it, did not shake my purpose to waste no time in
desultory skirmishing. That I decided so promptly that New York was to
be my scene of action was due to Boller's casual mention of Bob
Carmody's salary, which by rapid calculation I found to equal Doctor
Todd's and to surpass my father's income. The figures were large. I
flattered myself that I found no appeal in the money, but regarded it
simply as the measure of the power and importance which Bob Carmody had
attained. The value of his brain labor was nearly double the value of
the foodstuff produced on my father's farm. The figures were
impressive. I knew, however, that I could not argue with Boller,
supported as he was by experience, and my way with him lay in an
obstinate declaration of my purpose.
"It's good of you to offer me a place," I said. "But I'm not going to
waste any time. A few days at home, and I am off to New York."
If Boller felt any irritation at my rejection of his offer, he did not
show it. Doubtless he laid my refusal to the ignorance of youth, for
he stood over me, regarding me through the drooping glasses, as my
father would have regarded me had I declared to him some reckless
purpose.
"You make a mistake, David," he said. He stood at the door, with one
hand fumbling the knob. "Still, I wish you success. Suppose I give
you a letter to Carmody. It would be a great help, you know. And I'll
write for you a general recommendation--to whom it may concern--on our
letterhead; it will be of service." He opened the door and stepped
out. He hesitated and came back. "I might tell you, Malcolm, that I
hope soon to launch into New York journalism, when I have exhausted the
possibilities of Coal City. A man can't sit still, you know--that is,
if he has red blood in his veins."
Boller said no more that night, but his manner in parting made it clear
to me that if he came to New York it was his purpose to be of great
service to me, to lift me up with him. His assumption of superiority
filled me with a desire to outrun him. Vanity is a great stimulus to
action, and the inspiring note of my life was forgotten as I
contemplated David Malcolm in his sanctum, at a table littered with
pages, every one of which would stab some devil of corruption or
brighten some lonely hour, pausing at his labor to blow spires of smoke
ceilingward while he gave kindly advice to the man who sat before him,
respectfully erect on his chair, regarding him through drooping glasses.
The college lights were out. I moved to the window and stayed there
for a long time, looking into the summer night. The street lamps
checkered the slope below me, but my eyes went past them; in the depths
of the valley the nail-works were glowing, piling up their tale of
kegs, but I looked beyond them to the mountain which rose from the
river and travelled away like a great shadow, cutting the star-lighted
sky. Where mountain and sky mingled, indefinable in the night, my eyes
rested, but my mind plunged on. My arms lay folded on the window-sill,
and into them my head sank. I crossed mountain after mountain, and
they were but shadows to my youthful strength. What a man David
Malcolm became that night! He won everything that the world holds
worth striving for. He won them all so easily by always doing what was
right. He travelled far because he marched so straight. Then he
mounted to the highest peak--a feat so rare that even his great modesty
could not suppress a cry of exultation. He heard the crunching of a
hoe, and, following the sound, saw the Professor battling with the
ever-charging weeds. The gaunt man regarded him quietly; then said:
"David, you have come far." He raised the hoe and pointed to the sky.
"And I suppose they have heard of it off there--in Mars and Saturn."
He turned to the ground, to an army of ants working on a pyramid of
sand. "And down there--I suppose they have heard of it." David
Malcolm looked about him. The world seemed waste as far as his mind
could carry. The Professor saw the disappointment clouding his face,
for he stepped closer to him and, laying a hand upon his shoulders,
said: "Remember, David, sealed orders."