“THE TROUBLE IS OVER”
“The inimitable Mark Twain, delivered himself last night of his first
lecture on the Sandwich Islands, or anything else.
“Some time before the hour appointed to open his head the Academy
of Music (on Pine Street) was densely crowded with one of the most
fashionable audiences it was ever my privilege to witness during my long
residence in this city. The Elite of the town were there, and so was the
Governor of the State, occupying one of the boxes, whose rotund face
was suffused with a halo of mirth during the whole entertainment. The
audience promptly notified Mark by the usual sign--stamping--that the
auspicious hour had arrived, and presently the lecturer came sidling
and swinging out from the left of the stage. His very manner produced
a generally vociferous laugh from the assemblage. He opened with an
apology, by saying that he had partly succeeded in obtaining a band, but
at the last moment the party engaged backed out. He explained that he
had hired a man to play the trombone, but he, on learning that he was
the only person engaged, came at the last moment and informed him that
he could not play. This placed Mark in a bad predicament, and wishing to
know his reasons for deserting him at that critical moment, he replied,
'That he wasn't going to make a fool of himself by sitting up there
on the stage and blowing his horn all by himself.' After the applause
subsided, he assumed a very grave countenance and commenced his remarks
proper with the following well-known sentence: 'When, in the course of
human events,' etc. He lectured fully an hour and a quarter, and his
humorous sayings were interspersed with geographical, agricultural,
and statistical remarks, sometimes branching off and reaching beyond,
soaring, in the very choicest language, up to the very pinnacle of
descriptive power.”