CCXIX. YACHTING AND THEOLOGY

Clemens made fewer speeches during the Riverdale period. He was as

frequently demanded, but he had a better excuse for refusing, especially

the evening functions. He attended a good many luncheons with friendly

spirits like Howells, Matthews, James L. Ford, and Hamlin Garland. At

the end of February he came down to the Mayor's dinner given to Prince

Henry of Prussia, but he did not speak. Clemens used to say afterward

that he had not been asked to speak, and that it was probably because of

his supposed breach of etiquette at the Kaiser's dinner in Berlin; but

the fact that Prince Henry sought him out, and was most cordially and

humanly attentive during a considerable portion of the evening, is

against the supposition.

Clemens attended a Yale alumni dinner that winter and incidentally

visited Twichell in Hartford. The old question of moral responsibility

came up and Twichell lent his visitor a copy of Jonathan Edwards's

'Freedom of the Will' for train perusal. Clemens found it absorbing.

Later he wrote Twichell his views.

DEAR JOE,--(After compliments.)--[Meaning “What a good time you gave

me; what a happiness it was to be under your roof again,” etc. See

opening sentence of all translations of letters passing between Lord

Roberts and Indian princes and rulers.]--From Bridgeport to New

York, thence to home, & continuously until near midnight I wallowed

& reeked with Jonathan in his insane debauch; rose immensely

refreshed & fine at ten this morning, but with a strange & haunting

sense of having been on a three days' tear with a drunken lunatic.

It is years since I have known these sensations. All through the

book is the glare of a resplendent intellect gone mad--a marvelous

spectacle. No, not all through the book--the drunk does not come

on till the last third, where what I take to be Calvinism & its God

begins to show up & shine red & hideous in the glow from the fires

of hell, their only right and proper adornment.

Jonathan seems to hold (as against the Armenian position) that the

man (or his soul or his will) never creates an impulse itself, but

is moved to action by an impulse back of it. That's sound!

Also, that of two or more things offered it, it infallibly chooses

the one which for the moment is most pleasing to ITSELF. Perfectly

correct! An immense admission for a man not otherwise sane.

Up to that point he could have written Chapters III & IV of my

suppressed Gospel. But there we seem to separate. He seems to

concede the indisputable & unshaken dominion of Motive & Necessity

(call them what he may, these are exterior forces & not under the

man's authority, guidance, or even suggestion); then he suddenly

flies the logical track & (to all seeming) makes the man & not those

exterior forces responsible to God for the man's thoughts, words, &

acts. It is frank insanity.

I think that when he concedes the autocratic dominion of Motive and

Necessity he grants a third position of mine--that a man's mind is a

mere machine--an automatic machine--which is handled entirely from

the outside, the man himself furnishing it absolutely nothing; not

an ounce of its fuel, & not so much as a bare suggestion to that

exterior engineer as to what the machine shall do nor how it shall

do it nor when.

After that concession it was time for him to get alarmed & shirk

--for he was pointed straight for the only rational & possible next

station on that piece of road--the irresponsibility of man to God.

And so he shirked. Shirked, and arrived at this handsome result:

Man is commanded to do so & so.

It has been ordained from the beginning of time that some men

sha'n't & others can't.

These are to blame: let them be damned.

I enjoy the Colonel very much, & shall enjoy the rest of him with an

obscene delight.

Joe, the whole tribe shout love to you & yours!

MARK.

Clemens was moved to set down some theology of his own, and did so in

a manuscript which he entitled, “If I Could Be There.” It is in the

dialogue form he often adopted for polemic writing. It is a colloquy

between the Master of the Universe and a Stranger. It begins: I. If

I could be there, hidden under the steps of the throne, I should hear

conversations like this:

A STRANGER. Lord, there is one who needs to be punished, and has been

overlooked. It is in the record. I have found it.

LORD. By searching?

S. Yes, Lord.

Mark Twain: A Biography. Complete · 第 278 / 489 题