CXXI. PARIS, ENGLAND, AND HOMEWARD BOUND

They decided to spend the spring months in Paris, so they gave up their

pleasant quarters with Fraulein Dahlweiner, and journeyed across Europe,

arriving at the French capital February 28, 1879. Here they met another

discouraging prospect, for the weather was cold and damp, the cabmen

seemed brutally ill-mannered, their first hotel was chilly, dingy,

uninviting. Clemens, in his note-book, set down his impressions of their

rooms. A paragraph will serve:

Ten squatty, ugly arm-chairs, upholstered in the ugliest and

coarsest conceivable scarlet plush; two hideous sofas of the same

--uncounted armless chairs ditto. Five ornamental chairs, seats

covered with a coarse rag, embroidered in flat expanse with a

confusion of leaves such as no tree ever bore, six or seven a dirty

white and the rest a faded red. How those hideous chairs do swear

at the hideous sofa near them! This is the very hatefulest room I

have seen in Europe.

Oh, how cold and raw and unwarmable it is!

It was better than that when the sun came out, and they found happier

quarters presently at the Hotel Normandy, rue de l'Echelle.

But, alas, the sun did not come out often enough. It was one of those

French springs and summers when it rains nearly every day, and is

distressingly foggy and chill between times. Clemens received a bad

impression of France and the French during that Parisian-sojourn, from

which he never entirely recovered. In his note-book he wrote: “France

has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks

it is a fine country.”

The weather may not have been entirely accountable for his prejudice,

but from whatever cause Mark Twain, to the day of his death, had no

great love for the French as a nation. Conversely, the French as a

nation did not care greatly for Mark Twain. There were many individual

Frenchmen that Mark Twain admired, as there were many Frenchmen who

admired the work and personality of Mark Twain; but on neither side

was there the warm, fond, general affection which elsewhere throughout

Europe he invited and returned.

His book was not yet finished. In Paris he worked on it daily, but

without enthusiasm. The city was too noisy, the weather too dismal. His

note-book says:

May 7th. I wish this terrible winter would come to an end. Have had rain

almost without intermission for two months and one week.

May 28th. This is one of the coldest days of this most damnable and

interminable winter.

It was not all gloom and discomfort. There was congenial company

in Paris, and dinner-parties, and a world of callers. Aldrich the

scintillating--[ Of Aldrich Clemens used to say: “When Aldrich speaks it

seems to me he is the bright face of the moon, and I feel like the other

side.” Aldrich, unlike Clemens, was not given to swearing. The Parisian

note-book has this memorandum: “Aldrich gives his seat in the horse-car

to a crutched cripple, and discovers that what he took for a crutch is

only a length of walnut beading and the man not lame; whereupon Aldrich

uses the only profanity that ever escaped his lips: 'Damn a dam'd man

who would carry a dam'd piece of beading under his dam'd arm!'”]--was

there, also Gedney Bunce, of Hartford, Frank Millet and his wife,

Hjalinar Hjorth Boyesen and his wife, and a Mr. and Mrs. Chamberlain,

artist people whom the Clemenses had met pleasantly in Italy.

Turgenieff, as in London, came to call; also Baron Tauchnitz, that nobly

born philanthropist of German publishers, who devoted his life, often at

his personal cost, to making the literature of other nations familiar

to his own. Tauchnitz had early published the 'Innocents', following it

with other Mark Twain volumes as they appeared, paying always, of his

own will and accord, all that he could afford to pay for this privilege;

which was not really a privilege, for the law did not require him to pay

at all. He traveled down to Paris now to see the author, and to pay

his respects to him. “A mighty nice old gentleman,” Clemens found him.

Richard Whiteing was in Paris that winter, and there were always plenty

of young American painters whom it was good to know.

They had what they called the Stomach Club, a jolly organization, whose

purpose was indicated by its name. Mark Twain occasionally attended its

sessions, and on one memorable evening, when Edwin A. Abbey was there,

speeches were made which never appeared in any printed proceedings. Mark

Twain's address that night has obtained a wide celebrity among the clubs

of the world, though no line of it, or even its title has ever found its

way into published literature.

Clemens had a better time in Paris than the rest of his party. He could

go and come, and mingle with the sociabilities when the abnormal weather

kept the others housed in. He did a good deal of sight-seeing of his

own kind, and once went up in a captive balloon. They were all studying

French, more or less, and they read histories and other books relating

to France. Clemens renewed his old interest in Joan of Arc, and for the

first time appears to have conceived the notion of writing the story of

that lovely character.

The Reign of Terror interested him. He reread Carlyle's Revolution, a

book which he was never long without reading, and they all read 'A Tale

of Two Cities'. When the weather permitted they visited the scenes of

that grim period.

In his note-book he comments:

“The Reign of Terror shows that, without distinction or rank, the

people were savages. Marquises, dukes, lawyers, blacksmiths, they

each figure in due proportion to their crafts.”

And again:

“For 1,000 years this savage nation indulged itself in massacre;

every now and then a big massacre or a little one. The spirit is

peculiar to France--I mean in Christendom--no other state has had

it. In this France has always walked abreast, kept her end up with

her brethren, the Turks and the Burmese. Their chief traits--love

of glory and massacre.”

Yet it was his sense of fairness that made him write, as a sort of

quittance:

“You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances.

It is the tourists' custom. When I see a man jump from the Vendome

Column I say, 'They like to do that in Paris.'”

Following this implied atonement, he records a few conclusions, drawn

doubtless from Parisian reading and observation:

“Childish race and great.”

“I'm for cremation.”

“I disfavor capital punishment.”

“Samson was a Jew, therefore not a fool. The Jews have the best

average brain of any people in the world. The Jews are the only

race in the world who work wholly with their brains, and never with

their hands. There are no Jew beggars, no Jew tramps, no Jew

ditchers, hod-carriers, day-laborers, or followers of toilsome

mechanical trade.

“They are peculiarly and conspicuously the world's intellectual

aristocracy.”

“Communism is idiocy. They want to divide up the property. Suppose

they did it. It requires brains to keep money as well as to make

it. In a precious little while the money would be back in the

former owner's hands and the communist would be poor again. The

division would have to be remade every three years or it would do

the communist no good.”

A curious thing happened one day in Paris. Boyesen; in great excitement,

came to the Normandy and was shown to the Clemens apartments. He was

pale and could hardly speak, for his emotion. He asked immediately

if his wife had come to their rooms. On learning that she had not, he

declared that she was lost or had met with an accident. She had been

gone several hours, he said, and had sent no word, a thing which she had

never done before. He besought Clemens to aid him in his search for her,

to do something to help him find her. Clemens, without showing the least

emotion or special concentration of interest, said quietly:

“I will.”

“Where will you go first,” Boyesen demanded.

Still in the same even voice Clemens said:

“To the elevator.”

He passed out of the room, with Boyesen behind him, into the hall. The

elevator was just coming up, and as they reached it, it stopped at

their landing, and Mrs. Boyesen stepped out. She had been delayed by a

breakdown and a blockade. Clemens said afterward that he had a positive

conviction that she would be on the elevator when they reached it.

It was one of those curious psychic evidences which we find all along

during his life; or, if the skeptics prefer to call them coincidences,

they are privileged to do so.

Paris, June 1, 1879. Still this vindictive winter continues. Had a

raw, cold rain to-day. To-night we sit around a rousing wood fire.

They stood it for another month, and then on the 10th of July, when

it was still chilly and disagreeable, they gave it up and left for

Brussels, which he calls “a dirty, beautiful (architecturally),

interesting town.”

Two days in Brussels, then to Antwerp, where they dined on the Trenton

with Admiral Roan, then to Rotterdam, Dresden, Amsterdam, and London,

arriving there the 29th of July, which was rainy and cold, in keeping

with all Europe that year.

Had to keep a rousing big cannel-coal fire blazing in the grate all

day. A remarkable summer, truly!

London meant a throng of dinners, as always: brilliant, notable affairs,

too far away to recall. A letter written by Mrs. Clemens at the time

preserves one charming, fresh bit of that departed bloom.

Clara [Spaulding] went in to dinner with Mr. Henry James; she

enjoyed him very much. I had a little chat with him before dinner,

and he was exceedingly pleasant and easy to talk with. I had

expected just the reverse, thinking one would feel looked over by

him and criticized.

Mr. Whistler, the artist, was at the dinner, but he did not attract

me. Then there was a lady, over eighty years old, a Mrs. Stuart,

who was Washington Irving's love, and she is said to have been his

only love, and because of her he went unmarried to his grave.

--[Mrs. Clemens was misinformed. Irving's only “love” was a Miss

Hoffman.]--She was also an intimate friend of Madame Bonaparte.

You would judge Mrs. Stuart to be about fifty, and she was the life

of the drawing-room after dinner, while the ladies were alone,

before the gentlemen came up. It was lovely to see such a sweet old

age; every one was so fond of her, every one deferred to her, yet

every one was joking her, making fun of her, but she was always

equal to the occasion, giving back as bright replies as possible;

you had not the least sense that she was aged. She quoted French in

her stories with perfect ease and fluency, and had all the time such

a kindly, lovely way. When she entered the room, before dinner, Mr.

James, who was then talking with me, shook hands with her and said,

“Good evening, you wonderful lady.” After she had passed...

he said, “She is the youngest person in London. She has the

youngest feelings and the youngest interests.... She is

always interested.”

It was a perfect delight to hear her and see her.

For more than two years they had had an invitation from Reginald

Cholmondeley to pay him another visit.

So they went for a week to Condover, where many friends were gathered,

including Millais, the painter, and his wife (who had been the wife of

Ruskin), numerous relatives, and other delightful company. It was one of

the happiest chapters of their foreign sojourn.--[Moncure D. Conway, who

was in London at the time, recalls, in his Autobiography, a visit which

he made with Mr. and Mrs. Clemens to Stratford-on-Avon. “Mrs. Clemens

was an ardent Shakespearian, and Mark Twain determined to give her a

surprise. He told her that we were going on a journey to Epworth, and

persuaded me to connive with the joke by writing to Charles Flower not

to meet us himself, but send his carriage. On arrival at the station we

directed the driver to take us straight to the church. When we entered,

and Mrs. Clemens read on Shakespeare's grave, 'Good friend, for Jesus'

sake, forbear,' she started back, exclaiming, 'where am I?' Mark

received her reproaches with an affluence of guilt, but never did lady

enjoy a visit more than that to Avonbank. Mrs. Charles Flower (nee

Martineau) took Mrs. Clemens to her heart, and contrived that every

social or other attraction of that region should surround her.”]

From the note-book:

Sunday, August 17,'79. Raw and cold, and a drenching rain. Went to

hear Mr. Spurgeon. House three-quarters full-say three thousand

people. First hour, lacking one minute, taken up with two prayers,

two ugly hymns, and Scripture-reading. Sermon three-quarters of an

hour long. A fluent talker, good, sonorous voice. Topic treated in

the unpleasant, old fashion: Man a mighty bad child, God working at

him in forty ways and having a world of trouble with him.

A wooden-faced congregation; just the sort to see no incongruity in

the majesty of Heaven stooping to plead and sentimentalize over

such, and see in their salvation an important matter.

Tuesday, August 19th. Went up Windermere Lake in the steamer.

Talked with the great Darwin.

They had planned to visit Dr. Brown in Scotland. Mrs. Clemens, in

particular, longed to go, for his health had not been of the best, and

she felt that they would never have a chance to see him again. Clemens

in after years blamed himself harshly for not making the trip, declaring

that their whole reason for not going was an irritable reluctance on

his part to take the troublesome journey and a perversity of spirit for

which there was no real excuse. There is documentary evidence against

this harsh conclusion. They were, in fact, delayed here and there by

misconnections and the continued terrific weather, barely reaching

Liverpool in time for their sailing date, August 23d. Unquestionably

he was weary of railway travel, far he always detested it. Time would

magnify his remembered reluctance, until, in the end, he would load his

conscience with the entire burden of blame.

Their ship was the Gallia, and one night, when they were nearing the

opposite side of the Atlantic, Mark Twain, standing on deck, saw for

the third time in his experience a magnificent lunar rainbow: a complete

arch, the colors part of the time very brilliant, but little different

from a day rainbow. It is not given to many persons in this world to see

even one of these phenomena. After each previous vision there had come

to him a period of good-fortune. Perhaps this also boded well for him.

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