XXI. SCOTCHMAN NAMED MACFARLANE

He concluded to go to Cincinnati, which would be on the way either to

New York or New Orleans (he expected to sail from one of these points),

but first paid a brief visit to his mother in St. Louis, for he had a

far journey and along absence in view. Jane Clemens made him renew

his promise as to cards and liquor, and gave him her blessing. He had

expected to go from St. Louis to Cincinnati, but a new idea--a literary

idea--came to him, and he returned to Keokuk. The Saturday Post, a

Keokuk weekly, was a prosperous sheet giving itself certain literary

airs. He was in favor with the management, of which George Rees was

the head, and it had occurred to him that he could send letters of

his travels to the Post--for, a consideration. He may have had a still

larger ambition; at least, the possibility of a book seems to have

been in his consciousness. Rees agreed to take letters from him at five

dollars each--good payment for that time and place. The young traveler,

jubilant in the prospect of receiving money for literature, now made

another start, this time by way of Quincy, Chicago, and Indianapolis

according to his first letter in the Post.--[Supplied by Thomas Rees, of

the Springfield (Illinois) Register, son of George Rees named.]

This letter is dated Cincinnati, November 14, 1856, and it is not a

promising literary production. It was written in the exaggerated dialect

then regarded as humorous, and while here and there are flashes of the

undoubted Mark Twain type, they are few and far between. The genius that

a little more than ten years later would delight the world flickered

feebly enough at twenty-one. The letter is a burlesque account of the

trip to Cincinnati. A brief extract from it, as characteristic as any,

will serve.

I went down one night to the railroad office there, purty close onto

the Laclede House, and bought about a quire o' yaller paper, cut up

into tickets--one for each railroad in the United States, I thought,

but I found out afterwards that the Alexandria and Boston Air-Line

was left out--and then got a baggage feller to take my trunk down to

the boat, where he spilled it out on the levee, bustin' it open and

shakin' out the contents, consisting of “guides” to Chicago, and

“guides” to Cincinnati, and travelers' guides, and all kinds of sich

books, not excepting a “guide to heaven,” which last aint much use

to a Teller in Chicago, I kin tell you. Finally, that fast packet

quit ringing her bell, and started down the river--but she hadn't

gone morn a mile, till she ran clean up on top of a sand-bar, whar

she stuck till plum one o'clock, spite of the Captain's swearin'

--and they had to set the whole crew to cussin' at last afore they

got her off.

This is humor, we may concede, of that early American type which a

little later would have its flower in Nasby and Artemus Ward. Only

careful examination reveals in it a hint of the later Mark Twain. The

letters were signed “Snodgrass,” and there are but two of them. The

second, dated exactly four months after the first, is in the same

assassinating dialect, and recounts among other things the scarcity of

coal in Cincinnati and an absurd adventure in which Snodgrass has a baby

left on his hands.

From the fewness of the letters we may assume that Snodgrass found them

hard work, and it is said he raised on the price. At all events, the

second concluded the series. They are mainly important in that they are

the first of his contributions that have been preserved; also the first

for which he received a cash return.

He secured work at his trade in Cincinnati at the printing-office of

Wrightson & Co., and remained there until April, 1857. That winter

in Cincinnati was eventless enough, but it was marked by one notable

association--one that beyond doubt forwarded Samuel Clemens's general

interest in books, influenced his taste, and inspired in him certain

views and philosophies which he never forgot.

He lodged at a cheap boarding-house filled with the usual commonplace

people, with one exception. This exception was a long, lank, unsmiling

Scotchman named Macfarlane, who was twice as old as Clemens and wholly

unlike him--without humor or any comprehension of it. Yet meeting on

the common plane of intellect, the two became friends. Clemens spent

his evenings in Macfarlane's room until the clock struck ten; then

Macfarlane grilled a herring, just as the Englishman Sumner in

Philadelphia had done two years before, and the evening ended.

Macfarlane had books, serious books: histories, philosophies, and

scientific works; also a Bible and a dictionary. He had studied these

and knew them by heart; he was a direct and diligent talker. He never

talked of himself, and beyond the statement that he had acquired

his knowledge from reading, and not at school, his personality was a

mystery. He left the house at six in the morning and returned at the

same hour in the evening. His hands were hardened from some sort of

toil-mechanical labor, his companion thought, but he never knew. He

would have liked to know, and he watched for some reference to slip out

that would betray Macfarlane's trade; but this never happened.

What he did learn was that Macfarlane was a veritable storehouse of

abstruse knowledge; a living dictionary, and a thinker and philosopher

besides. He had at least one vanity: the claim that he knew every word

in the English dictionary, and he made it good. The younger man tried

repeatedly to discover a word that Macfarlane could not define.

Perhaps Macfarlane was vain of his other mental attainments, for

he never tired of discoursing upon deep and grave matters, and his

companion never tired of listening. This Scotch philosopher did not

always reflect the conclusions of others; he had speculated deeply and

strikingly on his own account. That was a good while before Darwin

and Wallace gave out--their conclusions on the Descent of Man; yet

Macfarlane was already advancing a similar philosophy. He went even

further: Life, he said, had been developed in the course of ages from a

few microscopic seed-germs--from one, perhaps, planted by the Creator

in the dawn of time, and that from this beginning development on an

ascending scale had finally produced man. Macfarlane said that the

scheme had stopped there, and failed; that man had retrograded; that

man's heart was the only bad one in the animal kingdom: that man was the

only animal capable of malice, vindictiveness, drunkenness--almost the

only animal that could endure personal uncleanliness. He said that man's

intellect was a depraving addition to him which, in the end, placed him

in a rank far below the other beasts, though it enabled him to keep them

in servitude and captivity, along with many members of his own race.

They were long, fermenting discourses that young Samuel Clemens listened

to that winter in Macfarlane's room, and those who knew the real Mark

Twain and his philosophies will recognize that those evenings left their

impress upon him for life.

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