I
Mr. Randolph owned a large ranch in Lake County which was managed by an
agent. A mile distant from the farm-house in which the agent lived with
the "hands" was a cottage, built several years since at Nina's request.
As Lake County was then difficult of access, Mr. Randolph seldom visited
his ranch, his wife never; but once a year Nina took a party of girl
friends to the cottage, usually in mid-summer. This year she went alone.
Immediately after Thorpe's departure she told her father of the
conditional engagement into which she had entered.
"And I wish to spend this year alone," she added. "Not only because I
want to get away from my mother, but because I believe that nothing will
help me more than entire change of associations. And solitude has no
terrors for me. I simply cannot go on in the old routine. I am bored to
death with the meaninglessness of it. That has come suddenly: probably
because I have come to want so much more."
"But wouldn't you rather travel, Nina?" Mr. Randolph was deeply anxious;
he hardly knew whether to approve her plan or not. A year's solitude
would drive him to madness.
"No, I want to live with myself. If I rushed from one distraction to
another I should not feel sure of myself at the end. I have thought and
thought; and, besides, I want to see and live Europe with Dudley Thorpe
alone. I feel positive that my plan is the right one. Only keep my
mother away."
"I will tell her plainly that if she follows you, I'll shut her up in
the Home of the Inebriates; and this time I'll keep my word. What excuse
shall you give people?"
"You can tell them of my engagement, and say that as we have agreed it
shall last a year, I have my own reasons for spending the interval by
myself. Their comments mean nothing to me."
"Shall you see no one?"
"Molly will come occasionally, and you,--no one else. I shall fish and
hunt and sail and ride and read and study music. Perhaps you will send
me a little piano?"
"Of course I will."
"I shall live out of doors mostly. I love that sort of life better than
any; I like trees better than most people."
"Very well. If you change your mind, you have only to return. I will
send to New York for all the new books and music. Cochrane will go ahead
and put things in order. I will also send Atkins to look after the
horses; and he and his wife will sleep in the house and look after you
generally. I hope to God the experiment will prove a success. I think
you are wise not to marry until the fight is over."
II
The cottage was on the side of a hill over-looking one of the larger
lakes. Beyond were other lakes, behind and in front the pine-covered
mountains. The place was very wild; it was doubtful if civilisation
would ever make it much less so. The cottage was dainty and comfortable.
Nina sailed a little cat-boat during the cooler hours of the day; and
she was a good shot. She wrote a few lines or pages every night to
Thorpe; but it was several days before she opened a book. She roamed
through the dark forests while it was hot, and in the evenings. She had
for California that curious compound of hatred and adoration which it
inspires in all highly strung people who know it well. It filled her
with vague angry longings, inspired her at times with a fierce desire to
flee from it, and finally; but it satisfied her soul. At times, a vast
brooding peace seemed lying low over all the land. At others, she
fancied she could hear mocking laughter. More than once she hung out of
the window half the night, expecting that California would lift up her
voice and speak, so tremendous is the personality of that strange land.
She longed passionately for Thorpe.
The weeks passed, and, to her astonishment, the poison in her blood made
no sign. Three months, and there had not been so much as a skirmish with
the enemy. She felt singularly well; so happy at times that she wondered
at herself, for the year seemed very long. Thorpe wrote by every
steamer, such letters as she had hoped and expected to get. Some of his
vital personality seemed to emanate from them; and she chose to believe
that it stood guard and warned off the enemy.
She was swinging in her hammock on the verandah one hot afternoon, when
a wagon lumbered to the foot of the hill, and her father and Molly
Shropshire emerged from the cloud of dust that surrounded it. She
tumbled out of the hammock, and ran down to meet them, her loose hair
flying.
"She looks about ten," thought Mr. Randolph, as she rushed into his
arms; "and beautiful for the first time in her life."
"We thought that you had had as much solitude as was good for you at one
time," said Miss Shropshire, in her hard metallic voice, which, however,
rang very true. "I am going to stay a month, whether I am wanted or
not."
"We have an addition to our family," said Mr. Randolph, as he sat
fanning himself on the piazza. "Your cousin has arrived."
"My what? What cousin?"
"Your mother, it seems, has a brother. If I ever knew of his existence,
I had forgotten it. But it seems that I have had the honour of educating
his son and of transforming him into a sort of pseudo-gentleman."
"He is not half bad, indeed," said Miss Shropshire.
"He is the sort of man who inspires me with a desire to lift my boot
every time he opens his mouth. But I must confess that his appearance is
fairly creditable. The obsolete term 'genteel' describes him better than
any other. He has got Yorkshire off his back, has studied hard,--he is
a doctor with highly creditable certificates and diplomas,--and dresses
very well. His manners are suave, entirely too suave: I felt disposed to
warn the bank; and his hands are so soft that they give me a 'turn' as
the old women say. He has reddish hair, a pale grey shifty eye, a snub
nose, and a hollow laugh. There you have your cousin--Dr. Richard
Clough, aged twenty-eight or thereabouts. In my days, he probably wore
clogs. At present his natty little feet are irreproachably shod, and he
makes no more noise than a cat. I feel an irrepressible desire for a
caricature of him."
Nina laughed heartily. "Poor papa! And you thought you had had the last
of the Cloughs. I hope he is not quartered on you."
"He is, but is looking about for an opening. To do him justice, I don't
think he is a sponge. He seems to have saved something. He wanted to
come up here and pay his _devoirs_ to you, but I evaded the honour. I
have a personal suspicion which may, of course, be wide of the mark,
that the object of his visit to California is more matrimonial than
professional; if that is the case, he might cause you a great deal of
annoyance: there is a very ugly look about his mouth."
Mr. Randolph remained several days; they were very happy days for him.
It was impossible to see Nina as she was at that period, to catch the
overflow of her spirits, without sharing her belief in the sure
happiness of the future.
Miss Shropshire fell in easily with all of Nina's pursuits. There was
much of Nina Randolph that she could never understand; but she was as
faithful as a dog in her few friendships and, with her vigorous sensible
mind, she was a companion who never bored. She was several years older
than Nina. Their fathers had been acquaintances in the island which had
the honour of incubating the United States.
"I approve of your engagement," said Miss Shropshire, in her downright
way. "I know if I don't you will hate me, so I have brought myself to
the proper frame of mind. He is selfish; but he certainly grows on one,
and no one could help respecting a man with that jaw."
But Nina would not discuss Thorpe even with Molly Shropshire. When she
felt obliged to unburden her mind, she went up and talked to the pines.
The girls returned home one morning from a stiff sail on the lake to be
greeted by the sight of a boot projecting beyond the edge of one of the
hammocks, and the perfume of excellent tobacco.
"What on earth!" exclaimed Miss Shropshire. "Have we a visitor? a man?"
Nina frowned. "I suspect that it is my cousin. Papa wrote the other day
that Richard had heard of a practice for sale in Napa, and had come up
to look into it. I suppose it was to be expected that he would come
here, whether he was invited or not."
As the girls ascended the hill, the occupant of the hammock rose and
flung away his cigar. He was a dapper little man, and walked down the
steep path with a jaunty ease which so strikingly escaped vulgarity as
to suggest the danger.
"Dear Cousin Nina!" he exclaimed. "Miss Shropshire, you will tell
her that I am Richard? Will you pardon me for taking two great
liberties,--first, coming here, and then, taking possession of your
hammock and smoking? The first I _couldn't_ help. The last--well, I
have been waiting two hours."
"I am glad you have made yourself at home," said Nina, perfunctorily;
she had conceived a violent dislike for him. "Your trip must have been
very tiresome."
"It was, indeed. This California is all very well to look at, but for
travelling comforts--my word! However, I am not regretting. I cannot
tell you how much I have wanted--"
"You must be very hungry. There is the first dinner-bell. Are you dusty?
Would you like to clean up? Go to papa's room--that one.
"Detestable man!" she said, as he disappeared. "I don't believe
particularly in presentiments, but I felt as if my evil genius were
bearing down upon me. And such a smirk! He looks like a little
shop-keeper."
"I think he cultivates that grin to conceal the natural expression of
his mouth--which is by no means unlike a wolf's. But he is a harmless
little man enough, I have no doubt. I've been hasty and mistaken too
often; only it's a bore, having to entertain him."
But Dr. Clough assumed the burdens of entertaining. He talked so
agreeably during dinner, told Nina so much of London that she wished to
know, betrayed such an exemplary knowledge of current literature, that
her aversion was routed for the hour, and she impulsively invited him to
remain a day or two. He accepted promptly, played a nimble game of
croquet after supper, then took them for a sail on the lake. He had a
thin well-trained tenor voice which blended fairly well with Miss
Shropshire's metallic soprano; and the two excited the envy of the frogs
and the night-birds. He was evidently a man quick to take a hint, for he
treated Nina exactly as he treated Molly: he was merely a traveller in a
strange land, delighted to find himself in the company of two charming
women.
"Upon my word," said Molly, that night, "I rather like the little man.
He's not half bad."
"I don't know," said Nina. "I'm sorry I asked him to stay. I'll be glad
to see him go."
The next day he organised a picnic, and made them sit at their ease
while he cooked and did all the work. They spent the day in a grove of
laurels, and sailed home in the dusk. It was on the following day that
Nina twice caught him looking at her in a peculiarly searching manner.
Each time she experienced a slight chill and faintness, for which she
was at a loss to account. She reddened with anger and terror, and he
shifted his eyes quickly. When he left, the next morning, she drew a
long sigh of relief, then, without warning, began to sob hysterically.
"There is something about that man!" she announced to the alarmed Miss
Shropshire. "What is it? Do you suppose he is a mesmerist? He gave me
the most dreadful feeling at times. Oh, I wish Dudley were here!"
"Why don't you send for him?"
"I don't know! I don't know! I wish the year were over!"
"It is your own will that makes it a year. I don't see any sense in it,
myself. I believe this climate, and being away from everything, has set
you up. Why not send for him, and live here for some months longer? He
is your natural protector, anyhow. What's a man good for?"
"Oh, I feel as if I must! Wait till to-morrow. That man has made me
nervous; I may feel quite placid to-morrow, and I ought to wait. It is
only right to wait."
And the next day she was herself again, and dismissed the evil spell of
Dr. Clough with a contemptuous shrug. Nor would she send for Thorpe.
"I may cut it down to eight months," she said. "But I must wait that
long."
III
A week later Miss Shropshire returned to San Francisco. Nina was not
sorry to be alone again. She drifted back into her communion with the
inanimate things about her, into the exaltation of spirit, impossible in
human companionship, and lived for Thorpe's letters.
One day she received a letter from Dr. Clough.
"DEAR COUSIN NINA," it ran. "I am to have the practice in Napa, but
not for two or three months, unfortunately, for I look forward to
meeting you again. Those few days with you and Miss Molly were
delightful to the lonely wanderer, who has never known a home."
("Not since he wore clogs," thought Nina.) "Perhaps some day I
shall make substantial acknowledgment of my gratitude. This is a
world of vicissitudes, as we all know. Remember this--will you,
Nina?--when you need me _I am there._ There are crises in life when
a true friend, a relative whose interests merge with one's own, is
not to be despised. Don't destroy this letter. Put it by. It is
sincere.
"Your faithful and obd't servant,
"RICHARD CLOUGH."
Nina tossed the letter impatiently on the table, then caught it up again
and re-read the last pages.
"That sounds as if it were written _avec intention_," she thought. "Can
papa be embarrassed? But what good could this scrubby little man do me,
if he were? Most likely it is the first gun of the siege. Thank Heaven
the guns must be fired through the post for a while."
December was come, but it was still very warm. The lake was hard and
still and blue. The glare was merciless.
Nina, followed by a servant bearing cushions, climbed wearily up the
hill to the forest. Once or twice she paused and caught at a tree for
support.
"If I ever get into the forest, I believe I'll stay there until this
weather is over," she thought. "It has completely demoralised me."
The servant arranged the cushions in a hammock between two pines whose
arms locked high above,--a green fragrant roof the sun could not
penetrate. Nina made herself comfortable, and re-read Thorpe's last
letter, received the day before. It was a very impatient letter. He
wanted her, and life in the South was a bore after the novelty had worn
off.
She lay thinking of him, and listening to the drowsy murmur of forest
life about her. Squirrels were chattering softly, somewhere in the
arbours above those slender grey pillars. A confused hum rose from the
ground; from far came the roar of a torrent. She could see the blue lake
with its ring of white sand, the bluer sky above, and turned her back:
the sight brought heat into those cool depths. Above her rose the dim
green aisles, the countless columns of the forest. She was very tired
and languid. She placed Thorpe's letter under her cheek and slept; and
in her sleep she dreamed.
She was still in the forest: every lineament of it was familiar. For a
time there were none of the changes of dreams. Then from the base of
every pine something lifted slowly and coiled about the tree,--something
long and green and horridly beautiful. It lifted itself to the very
branches, then detached itself a little and waved a foot of its upper
length to and fro, its glittering eyes regarding her with sleepy
malice. The squirrels had hidden in their caves; not a sound came from
the earth; the waters had hushed their voice. Nothing moved in that
awful silence but the languid heads of the snakes.
Then came a sudden brisk step; her cousin entered. He did not notice the
sleeper, but went to each constrictor in turn and stroked it lovingly.
Once he caught a coil close to his breast and laughed. The small
malignant eyes above moved to his, their expression changing to
friendliness, albeit shot with contempt. To Nina's agonised sense the
scene lasted for hours, during which Clough fondled the reptiles with
increasing ardour.
But at last the scene changed, and abruptly. She was on the mountain
above the fog-ocean, close to the stars. Thorpe's arms were strong about
her. It had seemed to her in the past five months that she had never
really ceased to feel the strength of his embrace, to hear the loud
beating of his heart on her own. This time he withdrew one arm and,
thrusting his fingers among her heartstrings, pulled them gently.
Something vibrated throughout her. She had been happy before, but that
soft vibration filled her with a new and inexplicable gladness. She
asked him what it meant. He murmured something she could not understand,
and smote the chords again. Her being seemed filled with music.
She awoke. The woods were dark. She tried to recall the ugly prelude to
her dream, but it had passed. She put her hands against her shoulders,
fancying she must encounter the arms that had held her, for their
pressure lingered. Then she drew her brows together, and craned her neck
with an expression of wonder. But several moments passed before she
understood. She was very ignorant of many things, and her experience up
to the present had been exceptional.
But she was a woman, and in time she understood.
Her first mental response was a wild unreasoning terror, that of the
woman who is in sore straits, far from the man who should protect her
and evoke the hasty sanction of the law. But the mood passed. She was
sure of Thorpe, and she had all the arrogance of wealth. He would
hasten at her summons, and they would live in this solitude for a year
or more; no one beyond the necessary confidants need ever know.
The maternal instinct had awakened in her dream. She folded herself
suddenly in her own arms. Her imagination flew to the future. Every
imaginative woman who loves the man that becomes her husband must have
one enduring regret: that in a third or more of his life she had no
part; he grew to manhood knowing nothing of her little share in the
scheme of things, met her when two at least of his personalities were
coffined in the yesterday that is the most vivid of all the memories.
And if his child be a boy, she may fancy it the incarnation of her
husband's lost boyhood and youth, and thus complete the circle of her
manifold desire.
And then Nina knew what had scotched the monster of heredity; she could
see the tiny hands at its throat. She lay and marvelled until the
servants, alarmed, came to look for her. The world took on a new and
wonderful aspect; she was the most wonderful thing in it.
IV
After supper she went into the sitting-room and wrote to Thorpe. As she
finished and left the desk, her eye fell on Richard Clough's letter,
which lay, open, on the table. The same chill horror caught her as when
she had encountered his searching eyes on the last day of his visit, and
she understood its meaning. He knew; there was the key to his verbiage.
She dropped upon a chair, feeling faint and ill. Like many women, she
had firm trust in her intuitions. If they had seemed baseless before,
they rested on a firm enough foundation now. She was in this man's
power; and the man was an adventurer and a Clough. Would he tell her
father? Or worse--her mother! She pictured her father's grief; his rage
against Thorpe. It would be more than she could endure. When Thorpe
came, it would not matter so much. And if her father were not told, it
was doubtful if he would ever suspect: he was very busy, and hated the
trip from San Francisco to Lake County. After Thorpe's arrival, it was
hardly likely that he would visit her.
A few moments' reflection convinced her that Clough would keep her
secret. His was the mind of subtle methods. He would make use of his
power over her in ways beyond her imagining.
Terror possessed her, and she called loudly upon Thorpe. With the sound
of his name, her confidence returned. He would be with her in something
under three months. Meanwhile, she could defy Clough. Later, he would
meet more than his match.
The next day she wrote to Molly Shropshire, telling her the truth and
giving her many commissions. Miss Shropshire's reply was characteristic:
"I have bought everything, and start for the cottage on Tuesday.
It is fortunate that I have two married sisters; I can be of much
assistance to you. I have helped on several wardrobes of this sort,
and acquired much lore of which you appear to be painfully ignorant.
I am coming with my large trunk; for I shall not leave you again."
The momentous subject was not broached for some hours after her arrival.
Then--they were seated before the fire in the sitting-room, and the
first rain of winter was pelting the roof--Miss Shropshire opened her
mouth and spoke with vicious emphasis.
"I hate men. There is not one I'd lift my finger to do a service for. My
sisters are supposed to have good husbands. One--Fred Lester--is a
grown-up baby, full of whims and petty vanities and blatant selfishness,
who has to be 'managed.' Tom Manning is as surly as a bear with a sore
head when his dinner disappoints him; and when things go wrong in the
office there is no living in the house with him. My brother's life is
notorious, and his wife, what with patience and tears, looks like a pan
of skim-milk. Catch me ever marrying! Not if Adonis came down and staked
a claim about a mountain of gold quartz. As for Dudley Thorpe!" her
voice rose to the pitch of fury. "What is a man's love good for, if it
can't think of the woman first? Aren't they our natural protectors?
Aren't they supposed to think for us,--take all the responsibilities of
life off our shoulders? This sort of thing is in keeping with the
character, isn't it? Why don't you hate him? You ought to. _I'd_ murder
him--"
Nina plunged across the rug, and pressed both hands against Miss
Shropshire's mouth, her eyes blazing with passion.
"Don't you dare speak of him like that again! If you do, it will be the
last time you will ever speak to me. I understand him--as well as if he
were literally a part of myself. I'll never explain to you nor to any
one, but _I know_. And there is nothing in me that does not respond to
him. Now, do you understand? Will you say another word?"
"Oh, very well. Don't stifle me!" Miss Shropshire released herself.
"Have it that way, if it suits you best. I didn't come here to quarrel
with you."
Nina resumed her seat. After a few moments she said: "There is another
thing: Richard Clough knows." And she told Miss Shropshire of his
letter.
"Um, well, I don't know but that that will be as good an arrangement as
any. Some one must attend you, and a relative--"
"What! Do you think I'd have that reptile near me?"
"Now, Nina, look at the matter like a sensible woman. We shall have to
get a doctor from Napa. If it storms, he may be days getting here. If he
has a wife, she'll want to know where he has been, and will worm it out
of him. If he hasn't, he'll let it out some night when he has his feet
on the table in his favourite saloon, and is outside his eighth glass of
punch. It will be to Richard's interest to keep the matter quiet--you
can make it his interest: I don't fancy he's above pocketing a couple of
thousands. And he'll not dare annoy you after Dudley Thorpe is here.
I'll do Dudley Thorpe this much justice: he could whip most men, and he
wouldn't stop to think about it, either. Don't let us discuss the matter
any further now. Just turn it over in your mind. I am sure you will come
to the conclusion that I am right. If you ignore Richard, there's no
knowing what he may do."
V
The next day Miss Shropshire cut out many small garments, Nina watching
her with ecstatic eyes. Both were expert needlewomen,--most Californian
girls were in those days of the infrequent and inferior dressmaker,--and
in the weeks that came they fashioned many dainty and elegant garments.
Nina no longer went to the forest, rarely on the lake. Miss Shropshire
could hardly persuade her to go out once a day for a walk, so enthralled
was she by that bewildering mass of fine linen and lace. She was prouder
of her tucks than she had ever been of a semi-circle of admirers, four
deep; and when she had finished her first yoke she wept with delight.
Miss Shropshire often watched her curiously, half-comprehending. She
abominated babies. Her home was with one of her married sisters, and a
new baby meant the splitting of ear-drums, the foolish prattle and
attenuated vocabulary of the female parent, and the systematic
irritations of the inefficient nurse-maid. Why a woman should look as if
heaven had opened its gates because she was going to have a baby, passed
her comprehension, particularly in the embarrassing circumstances.
Nina was alone when Thorpe's next letter arrived.
"I am starting for Cuba," it began. "My brother Harold has joined
me; and as his chest is in a bad way, he thinks of settling in a hot
country. I have suggested California; but he is infatuated with the
idea of Cuba. You will forgive me for leaving the United States for
a short period, will you not, dearest? I can do you no particular
good by remaining here, and I am bored to extinction. If you would
but give me the word, I should start for California on the next
steamer; but as you hold me to the original compact, perhaps
you will give me a little latitude. The talk here is war, war,
war,--never a variation by any possible chance. My sympathies are
with the South, and if they fight I hope they'll win; but as I have
no personal interest in the matter I feel like a man condemned
to a long course of one highly seasoned dish, with no prospect of
variety. Address as usual; your letters will be forwarded, unless I
return in a few weeks, as I think I shall."
Then followed several closely written pages which advised her of the
unalterable state of his affections.
Nina put the letter down, and stared before her with a wide
introspective gaze. When Miss Shropshire entered, she handed her the
first two pages. The older girl shut her lips.
"I don't like it," she said. "It means delay, and every week is
precious. It looks--" She paused.
"Unlucky; I have been wondering. I have a queer helpless feeling, as if
I were tangled in a net, and even Dudley, with all his love and will,
could not get me out. I suppose there is something in fate. I feel very
insignificant."
"Come, come, you are not to get morbid. Nobody's life is a straight
line. You must expect hard knots, and rough by-ways, and malaria, and
all the rest of it. Don't borrow trouble. You are sure of him, anyhow."
"Sometimes I hate California. One might as well be on Mars. It's
thousands of miles from New Orleans, and New Orleans is hundreds of
miles from Cuba. And now that everything is getting so upset, who knows
if he'll ever get my letters? I wish I'd started straight for New
Orleans the moment I knew. I am utterly at the mercy of circumstances."
"Well, thank Heaven you're rich," said Miss Shropshire, bluntly. "Just
fancy if you were some poor little wretch deserted by the man, and with
no prospect but the county hospital; then you might be blue."
"Oh, I suppose it might be worse!" replied Nina.
The next day her buoyant spirits were risen again, and she resolved to
accept the immediate arrangement of her destiny with philosophy; peace
and happiness would be hers eventually. She could not violate the most
jealous of social laws and expect all the good fairies to attend the
birth of her child. But she longed by day for the luxury of the night,
when she could cry, and beg Thorpe under her breath to come to her.
When the next steamer arrived it brought her no letter from Thorpe. But
this was to be expected. Another steamer arrived; it brought nothing.
She turned very grey.
"Make a close calculation," she said to Miss Shropshire. "You know how
long it takes to go to Cuba and back. Has there been time?"
"Yes, there has been time."
It was the middle of February, the end of a mild and beautiful winter.
Little rain had fallen. Nature seemed to Nina more caressing than ever.
The sun rarely veiled his face with a passing cloud. She worked with
feverish persistence, keeping up her spirits as best she could. There
was a bare chance that the next steamer would bring Thorpe.
Her father had paid her another visit, and gone away unsuspicious. He
had, in fact, talked of nothing but the approaching rebellion of the
Southern States, and the possible effect on the progress of the country.
It was not likely that he would come again, for he had embarked on two
new business enterprises, and he allowed himself to believe that Nina
had passed the danger point.
The third steamer arrived. It brought neither Thorpe nor a letter. Then
Nina gave way. For twenty-four hours she wept and sobbed, paying no
attention to expostulations and threats. Miss Shropshire was seriously
alarmed; for the first time she fully realised the proportions of the
responsibility she had assumed. She longed for advice. She even
contemplated sending for Mr. Randolph; for with all her dogged strength
of character she was but a woman, and an unmarried one. Finally she
wrote to Clough, who had arrived in Napa a fortnight before. She could
not bring herself to betray Nina's confidence; but Clough already knew.
Then she went to her room, and cursed Thorpe roundly and aloud. After
that she felt calmer, and returned to Nina.
"I can't think he is dead," said Nina, abruptly, speaking coherently for
the first time. "If he were, I should know it. I should _see_ him." Miss
Shropshire shivered, and cast an apprehensive glance into the dark
corners of the room. "But he is ill; that is the only explanation. You
don't doubt him?" turning fiercely to her friend.
"No; I can't say that I do. No--" with some reluctance, "decidedly not.
He's not that sort. Like most men, he will probably cool off in time;
but he's no weathercock, and one could hardly help believing in his
honesty."
Nina kissed her with passionate gratitude. "I couldn't stand having you
doubt him," she said. "I never have, not for a moment; but--oh--what
does it matter what is the reason? He hasn't come, and I haven't heard
from him. That is enough!"
"There will be one more steamer. There is just time."
"He won't come. I _feel_ that everything is going wrong. One way and
another, my life is going to ruin--"
"Nonsense, you are merely overwrought and despondent--"
"That is not all. And I know myself. Listen--if my baby dies, and he
does not come, I shall go down lower than I have ever been, and I shall
stay there. I'd never rise again, nor want to--"
"Then, for Heaven's sake, don't do your best to kill it! Brace up. I
believe that a good deal of what you say is true. Some people are strong
for the pleasure of giving other people a chance to add to the
platitudes of the world; but you are not that sort. So take care of
yourself."
"Very well; put me to bed. I will do what I can."
She did not rise the next day, and, when Clough came, consented,
listlessly, to see him. In this interview he made no impression on her
whatever; he might have been an automaton. Her brain realised no man but
the one for whom her weary heart ached.
She made an effort on the following day, and embroidered, and listened
while Miss Shropshire read aloud to her. The effort was renewed daily;
and every hour she fought with her instinct to succumb to despair.
Physically, she was very tired. She longed for the care and tenderness
which would have been hers in happier circumstances.
VI
Miss Shropshire took the precaution to ask Clough to come to the cottage
a day or two before the next steamer was due, and to be prepared to
remain. The steamer arrived, and with it nothing of interest to Nina
Randolph.
She was very ill. Even Clough, who was inimitable in a sick room, looked
grey and anxious. But it passed; and the time came when the housekeeper,
who had had many babies in her time, placed a little girl in Nina's
arms.
Nina, who had been lying with closed eyes, exhausted and wretched,
turned her face toward the unfamiliar weight, and looked wonderingly
into the face of the child. For a moment she hardly realised its
significance, vivid as had been her imaginings. The baby's colour was
fair and agreeable, and its large blue eyes moved slowly about with an
expression of sober inquiry.
Nina glanced hastily outward. She was alone for the moment. Miss
Shropshire had gone to her well-earned rest, and Dr. Clough was in the
dining-room, attended by Mrs. Atkins. Nina drew the baby closer, and
kissed it. For the moment she held Dudley Thorpe in her arms,--for she
could not grasp their separateness,--and peace returned. Thorpe was ill,
of course; but he was hardy and young, and would recover. The rapture of
young motherhood possessed her. She kissed the baby many times, softly,
fearing that it might break, then drew back and gazed at it with rapt
adoration. Once she met its wise solemn eyes, and the first soul of
Dudley Thorpe looked from their depths. She moved it with trembling
care, and laid its head on her breast.
She gave no thought to the time when the world must know; the world no
longer existed for her. Dudley Thorpe was her husband, and his child was
in her arms,--an actual tangible beautiful certainty; all the rest that
went to make up life was nebulae.
It was a very good baby, and gave little trouble; consequently Nina was
permitted to hold it most of the time. She felt no desire to rise from
the bed, to take an active part in life again. She would have liked to
remain there until Thorpe came and sat beside her. She spoke little,
excepting to the child, and perhaps those hours, despite the great want,
were the happiest of her life.
"What are some women made of?" demanded Miss Shropshire of Dr. Clough.
"What is she going to do with that baby? That's what I want to know. It
may be months before Dudley Thorpe gets here, and it certainly won't be
long before Mr. Randolph comes up again. I don't believe she has given a
thought to the consequences--and I have always thought her an unusually
bright and level-headed woman."
"I see nothing to do but let matters take their course." He hesitated a
moment, then gave Miss Shropshire a swift tentative glance, shifting his
eyes hastily. "Would you--you believe in my disinterestedness, do you
not, Miss Molly?"
"I do, indeed. You have been a real friend. I'm sure I don't know what I
should have done without you."
"Then--if Mr. Thorpe does not return, when she has become convinced
that he does not mean to return, will you help me to make her understand
that I am only too willing to marry her and adopt her child?"
Miss Shropshire stared, then shook her head. "You don't know Nina. It
would be years before she got over her infatuation for Dudley Thorpe, if
ever; and by that time everybody would know. Besides, I don't share your
distrust of Thorpe. He is selfish, and is probably travelling beyond the
reach of mails; but he is the soul of honour: no one could doubt that."
"He may be dead."
"We should have heard by this time; and it would not help you if he
were. Most likely it would kill her."
"We don't die so easily."
"The thing to consider now is that baby. It's a dear little thing, and
looks less like putty than most babies; I can actually see a resemblance
to Thorpe. But, all the same, its presence is decidedly embarrassing."
The baby solved the problem. It died when it was ten days old. Even Miss
Shropshire, who scorned the emotions, shuddered and burst into tears at
the awful agony in Nina's eyes. Nina did not cry, nor did she speak.
When the child was dressed for its coffin, the housekeeper brought it to
the bedside. Nina raised herself on her elbow, and gave it a long
devouring glance. It looked like marble rather than wax, and its
likeness to Dudley Thorpe was startling. The contours of infancy had
disappeared in its brief severe illness, and the strong bold outlines of
the man who had called it into being were reproduced in little. The dark
hair fell over its forehead in the same way, the mouth had the same
arch.
Miss Shropshire entered the room, and Nina spoke for the first time
since the baby had given its sharp cry of warning.
"Take it up into the forest, and bury it between the two pines where my
hammock was." And then she turned her back and stared at the wall.
Shortly after, Mr. Randolph was informed that Nina had had a brief but
severe attack of rheumatic fever, and he paid her a hurried visit. He
wondered at the change in her, but did not suspect the truth.
"She is pining for Thorpe, I suppose," he said to Miss Shropshire. "I
cannot understand his silence; and now God knows when we'll hear from
him, unless he managed to get North before April 19th. Something has
happened, I am afraid. Poor child, she was not born under a lucky star!
Is she all right otherwise?"
"Yes, it looks as if she were cured. But when she goes to San Francisco,
she had better stay with me for a time. I don't think her mother's
society would be the best thing for her while she is so despondent."
"By all means. And that detestable Clough?"
"He is really a first-rate doctor, and has been devotion itself."
"Very well: I shall send him a handsome cheque. But if he has any
matrimonial designs, let him look out. Don't imagine I am blind. A man
does not neglect a fresh practice for cousinly affection. I cannot
suppose for a moment that she would tolerate him, but when a woman is
listless and despondent, and thinks that all her prospects of happiness
are over, there's no telling what she will do; particularly if the
besieger has the tenacity of a bull dog. I'd rather see her in her
coffin than married to Richard Clough."
Miss Shropshire was very anxious to return to San Francisco. She loved
Nina Randolph; but she had immured herself in the cause of friendship
long enough, and thought that her afflicted friend would be quite as
well off where distractions were more abundant. When she suggested
return, Nina acquiesced indifferently, and Mrs. Atkins packed the trunks
with a hearty good-will. Dr. Clough brought a hack, at great expense,
from Napa, and packed her into it as if she were a baby. As it drove
off, she looked through the window up to the forest where her baby lay.
She had not been strong enough to climb to the grave. She knew that she
should never see it.