_Sunday._--To-day has witnessed another triumph for the high-souled
German army. Ten Belgian villages have been burnt. Some of the
inhabitants have been also burnt; the rest have been driven out to
starve. This will teach Belgium not to build villages in the way of a
possible German advance. General von Schweinehund was in command of the
noble German column. Have telegraphed my supreme congratulations and
have conferred upon him the Iron Cross. How splendidly God is behaving
in these days.
_Monday._--It is stated that in East Prussia a village has been burnt by
the Russians during a battle. This is monstrous, and must be stopped at
once. Have sent a protest to the TSAR and have telegraphed to neutral
countries pointing out that Russia is spreading barbarism, whereas
Germany is spreading civilisation and culture. A reply has come from
America; it contained only one word--"Louvain." That may be meant for
humour, but I do not understand it. The Americans must not forget that
Louvain was burnt by _German_ troops, and that being so there can be no
complaint. Have told my Court Chaplain, Dr. Meuchler, to draw the Divine
attention to this infamy on the part of the Russian Huns.
_Tuesday._--Six Belgian mayors and five hundred selected Belgian
villagers have been shot by my gallant troops. One of them had sneered
at Lieutenant von Blutgierig as he sat at breakfast. The Belgians are
indeed a stiff-necked race, but with God's help they shall be made to
understand the sympathetic gentleness of the German character. But to
sneer at a man in uniform is an inconceivable crime worthy only of an
Englishman. The lieutenant has had to go into hospital to recover from
this shameful treatment. He is a true German and shall be rewarded.
_Wednesday._--Ordered three cathedrals to be razed to the ground. Forget
how many ordinary churches have been destroyed. All Belgian and French
universities are to be at once bombarded and burnt for failing to
recognise superiority of German intellect. Have just read noble book by
Professor Lumpenthor, who proves that CÆSAR, HANNIBAL, ALEXANDER, HOMER,
VIRGIL, SHAKSPEARE, NAPOLEON, ATTILA and GENGHIS KHAN were all Germans.
He seems to fear that we modern Germans are too merciful. This is no
doubt true, for the Belgians are not yet reconciled to us as their
God-appointed masters.
_Thursday._--Our wonderful navy continues its magnificent deeds. Two
Danish boats and an English trawler have been sent to the bottom by
mines in the North Sea. Have commanded religious services to be held in
all German churches to thank God for all His mercies.
_Friday._--Have arranged everything with Turks, who will shortly
intervene with their army to help Germany to spread civilisation and the
Gospel. Hear that England is about to use Indian troops. This, being an
attack on German culture, cannot be allowed. Unless something is done
about it shall countermand religious services.
_Saturday._--Have ordered all remaining Belgian villages to be burnt and
inhabitants to be shot. This will please my glorious troops. The Divine
blessing is evidently on our cause.
* * * * *
"The Rev. N. J. POYNTZ, M.A., is appointed a chaplain on the Bengal
Establishment.