It is with pleasure I sit down to reply to your last letter, and it
has only been from total inability that you have had to wait so
long. I wanted to sit down immediately to send you a few
sympathetic words, for your life must have been very similar to my
own. The best comfort for us is, to say to ourselves, Are not many,
_many_ others carrying the same burdens, disappointments, and toils
as we? How do they bear them, and where do they get their patience
and strength from? Only from studying the words and lives of those
who have had similar trials to bear; and no one bore the cross
better than He to whom the whole world has looked as a guide.
Therefore though you fall and fail often, be not in despair. All
you need is some one to speak with you who sympathizes with you;
and though they may not lighten your burden or change your
circumstances, they will lighten your heart and make the whole
world seem different to you, and full of work to be done, that will
take your thoughts out from beyond your own home, and yet at the
same time only make that all the more precious to you and just the
place you ought to be in. Am not fond of the country myself. Have
always lived in the city, and prefer to be surrounded by people and
life rather than trees and quiet of the country; still, I love to
visit in the country for a short time.... You ask how you can best
prepare yourself to become a member of our church. I sent you the
church programme, and Mr. Thayer says there, "Those who present
themselves in an earnest spirit,"--an earnest spirit to do all the
good you can, in every way, at home and to the world. It is
_character_, and _not_ belief, which makes the true Christian. And
if our conscience is right before God, let man say what he will; if
we are only sure ourselves we are doing our best according to our
circumstances and our health; if our motives are pure and our
conscience clear,--we shall feel a pleasure in joining in a
Communion service, though one can be a member of our church if not
a communicant. There are several books I wish to recommend to you.
The first is a great help to inward strength, and is a gem of a
book, "Day unto Day," which consists of a passage or two from the
Scriptures, a selection from poetry, and one from writers, for
every day in the year.... The whole book is full of selections
which fit the needs of every day. I have two copies, and will loan
you one copy with passages I have marked as read, and which has
benefited several of my correspondents.... Another great help to a
good life is Merriam's "Way of Life." "Theodore Parker's Prayers" I
can loan you too. Since I wrote you, have had presented to our
library Sunderland's "What is the Bible?" shorter than "Bible for
Learners," and on the whole better to read first. I subscribed for
the Sunday-school lessons on "The Life of Jesus," so any time you
are welcome to it. You will understand from what I have written,
that to strengthen the inner man is a good preparation for anything
and anywhere; and you will find a great deal among our books, and
in our papers, and in our religion, to help you and make life a
blessing, though under unfavorable circumstances, and enable you to
have the spirit and faith _of_ Jesus, if not so much _in_ Jesus,
which the Orthodox make most emphatic.
The following letter was written June 27, 1885. The unusual allusions to
her own health are evidently in sympathy with the correspondent, who had
written of ill health and heavy burdens to bear.
"I have been most useless since the middle of February; but, weak
as I am, I have insisted on staying out of bed, waiting on myself,
and keeping my room in order, even to sweeping it, and keeping up
my missionary work slowly. I do dislike to be nursed and a care to
people. Sometimes it seems impossible for me to get dressed for my
breakfast, and it takes me about one hour and a quarter, I am so
weak. Last Sunday I could not get to church; but I spent the day in
resting,--spiritual rest. I had a service at home,--the responsive
service, the three hymns, the Scripture lesson, and read one of J.
F. Clarke's sermons, which I sent to another who needed consoling.
There is a favorite hymn of mine, which I will write out for you.
We often sing it for an opening hymn. [The hymn "Daily
Consecration," by Caroline Mason, is here copied in full.] Excuse
the mistakes, for I have written it from memory. Work on, dear
friend, just where you are, and feel that there you are casting
silent deeds of love which no one knows but the good Father above,
but that they are none the less earnest work in his service....
Every other Saturday A. M. I go to the church to do up papers for
the Workhouse. Was there _this_ morning. Take heart, good friend,
and feel that nothing you do is lost, and that sometime your labor
will be appreciated. I must not write longer, for I want to attend
church to-morrow. They miss me when I am not at my post."