When the wind's Nor-West by West,
Man and beast are rarely blessed.
Sometimes I like mutton best,
Often I like veal.
A poet (_not_ a puny 'un)
Who raves about the Union,
And hymns the States Communion,
Takes none the less his meal.
* * * * *
In the City. Thursday Last.
_First Member of Stock Exchange_ (_Unionist_). I say, JONES, you
weren't in it! Why didn't you join us marching in procession, with
CLARKE carrying the Union Jack, eh?
_Second Member of the House._ Why didn't I join you? Because I didn't
want to make a Union-Jack-ass of myself!
[_Exit, before the retort is possible._
* * * * *
A Pair of Spectacles.
(_After hearing a much interrupted Speech in the Commons._)
When a batsman has to go
To the tent with a "round O,"
He knows _he's_ not made a hit.
When a Statesman's hitting well,
The round "Oh's" around him swell
(Dullards' substitutes for wit).
In debate or cricket score,
The "round O" means _nought_--no more!
* * * * *
[Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY.
_Fair Hostess._ "GOOD-NIGHT, MAJOR JONES. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BREAKFAST
AT NINE; BUT WE'RE NOT VERY PUNCTUAL PEOPLE. INDEED, THE LATER YOU
APPEAR TO-MORROW MORNING, THE BETTER PLEASED WE SHALL ALL BE!"]
* * * * *
May 10, 1893.