_Or, Conversation as she is spoken at the Haymarket._
_The Disciple._ Ah, that supper after the Theatre! It was the
unspeakable following the unplayable. I feel so seedy!
_The Master._ Nay, but have I not told you that the two letters to
follow "X. S." are "S. and B.?" And you have yourself said that "Soda
and Brandy is the last refuge of the--digestion."
_The Disciple._ Hang it! I can survive everything--except the cast-off
clothes of my own epigrams,--or, by the bye, death.
[_Exit from this life, to prove it._
* * * * *
Mem. on the Behring-Sea Business.
A Forty-hours' speech by magniloquent CARTER!
That Behring Tribunal has caught a Tartar!
Whatever the upshot one cannot but feel
'Tis a fine illustration of "Say and Seal!"
Though _Bunsby_ might say of this lengthy oration,
"The _Behring_ will lie in the application."
* * * * *
APPROPRIATE SONG (_for anybody connected with the Tourist-Managing
firm of Gaze, on hearing a Lady say that she was "going to try a
Cook."_)
"Ah me! she has gone from our Gaze,
That beautiful girl from our door!"
(_The remainder can be added ad libitum, and sung whenever opportunity
permits._)
* * * * *
"A MOVE ON THE BOARD" IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.--Our Surprising
School-Board has voted in favour of allowing its Industrial School
youths to enjoy "reasonable recreation" on Sundays. Its version of Sir
WILLIAM JONES'S distich would be something as follows:--
The morn at Church, the afternoon at play,
Will serve to while the Day of Rest away.
Apparently it looks favourably on a modicum of Sunday Cricket or
Football, and does not taboo even the enormity of Lawn-tennis.
As against that eminently strict Sabbatarian, Mrs. GRUNDY, the
tennis-player may defend himself by a reference to the "services" in
which he is engaged.
* * * * *
[Illustration: OBVIOUS.
"WANT ANYTHING ON IT, SIR?"
"YES--CONFOUND YOU! MORE HAIR!"]
* * * * *