_House of Commons, Monday Night May 1._--Demonstrated in Debate on
Second Reading Home-Rule Bill that House may talk and talk through
twelve long nights, and not affect single vote--not even SAUNDERS'S.
To-night shown how a single speech may cause to collapse what was
expected and intended to be big Debate. It was Mr. G. performed the
miracle. Looked in at House on his way from Downing Street, where
he had received deputation on Eight Hours Question, and delivered
important speech. That might have served as day's work for ordinary
man, Mr. G., not to put too fine a point upon it, is not ordinary man.
Being here, sat listening to DILKE with close attention. DILKE thinks
time has come to evacuate Egypt. Stated his case in luminous speech;
sustained his reputation of knowing more about Egyptian Question than
most men except perhaps TOMMY BOWLES.
Mr. G. made no outward and visible sign of intention to follow; took
no notes, and sometimes, as he sat with drooping arms and closed eyes,
seemed to sleep. DILKE done and down, he sat bolt upright, looked
round with almost startled air, "Well, really," he seemed to be saying
to himself, "since I am here, and no one else is disposed to follow, I
might as well say a few words."
Spoke for half an hour, without reference to a note, and without
faltering for a word. Preserved throughout that studious assumption
of having accidentally looked in which marked his appearance at
table. Evidently desired to minimise as much as possible importance
of occasion. Subject broached, he was, possibly, expected to say
something; certainly not going to make a speech, much less deliver
oration. Carried out this subtle fancy to such extent that, pitching
voice on low conversational tone, sometimes difficult to catch full
length of sentences. This added to impressiveness of scene. Crowded
House sitting breathless; Members opposite leaning forward lest
they might miss a phrase. Everyone conscious that at the door also
listening were jealous France, the wily Turk, the interested Egyptian,
the not entirely disinterested CZAR, and the other Great Powers
concerned for peace of Europe.
Mr. G., for all his affectation of unpremeditation, evidently had in
mind these listeners at the door. To their shadowy presence was, for
him, added consciousness of keen eyes watching him from all quarters
of the House; some of his friends waiting for sign of readiness to
quit Egypt; the Opposition ready to catch at any token of tendency to
scuttle. Occasional passages he delivered at rapid rate; but you could
see him weighing every word with due consideration of these manifold
and conflicting interests and influences.
When he sat down, there was consciousness that the massive figure of
important Debate that had loomed over House whilst DILKE was speaking
had melted away. JOKIM and GORST had intended to speak from Front
Bench; great authorities on Foreign Policy in other parts of House
had proposed to say something, more or less soothing. Mr. G. had left
nothing for anyone to say, unless it were ALPHEUS CLEOPHAS, and the
TALENTED TOMMY, who, sitting immediately opposite the PREMIER, had,
whilst he spoke, taken voluminous notes, only occasionally withdrawing
eyes from manuscript to fix them with look of calm distrust upon the
aged and unconscious statesman.
"I always like, when I look in," said MARJORIBANKS, smiling
beneficently from the Bar, "to find TOMMY in his place, taking notes.
Gives one a sense of security. I feel, when I'm in the Lobby, looking
after things, it's all right in the House. BROWNING said something of
that sort. Don't remember exactly how it ran; something in this way:
TOMMY BOWLES is in his place;
It's all right with the Empire."
_Business done._--Mr. G. excelled himself.
_Tuesday._--Seven-leagued Boots not needed by TALENTED TOMMY. He moves
about universe with ease and grace, unmindful of mountains, regardless
of ravines, reckless of rivers, oblivious of oceans. Last night, Forty
Centuries looked down upon him whilst he showed how, in Egypt, Mr. G.
is wrong, and DILKE, who criticised Ministerial policy, is not right.
To-night he stands on the Roof of the World, a solitary, colossal
figure upright on the lone Pamirs. His attitude is of manifold
mien. Defiant of Russia, suspicious of ROSEBERY, patronising towards
Afghanistan, he takes young China familiarly by the elbow, and bids
it be of good cheer, for TOMMY BOWLES is its friend. Since NAPOLEON
crossed the Alps, and was caught in the act by the brush of the
painter, the world has not seen so moving a picture as TOMMY throned
on the grandly desolate Pamirs.
* * * * *
[Illustration: A PATRON OF OLD CHINA. (_Vide "China Bowles
Collection."_)]
* * * * *
House almost empty whilst the Talented One discoursed on the subject.
Mr. G., who misses nothing, happily in his place, listening with
eager hand at ear whilst TOMMY spoke familiarly of Asiatic rivers
and mountains, not one with name of less than five syllables. DICKY
TEMPLE, who really knows something about this mysterious region,
looked on in blank amazement at TOMMY'S erudition. EDWARD GREY, who
would presently have to answer this damaging attack, tried to seem
indifferent. But his young cheek paled when TOMMY put his ruthless
finger on that Foreign Office dispatch, out of which a line of print
had been dropped. This a Machiavellian device that had hitherto
escaped detection. TOMMY'S falcon eye had noted it, his relentless
foot had followed up the tracks, and he had discovered, on reference
to the original, that the criminally-deleted line of print embodied
a reference to the Oxus. That was all. "Only the Oxus!" he said,
with withering sarcasm. Then changing his tone and manner, he shook
a minatory forefinger at the shrinking form of the PREMIER, and cried
aloud, in voice strengthened with long warring with the winds on the
Pamirs: "Sir, the stream of the Oxus has been entirely omitted from
this paragraph."
"Poor Mr. G.!" said W. J. LOWTHER, present in his capacity as
Ex-Under-Secretary for Foreign Affairs. "What with LABBY one night and
TOMMY BOWLES the next, he has a sad time of it."
"Yes," said PLUNKET, sole companion on the Front Bench. "It's a hard
fate for a Prime Minister to stand between L. and TOMMY."
_Business done._--Miscellaneous talk on going into Committee of
Supply.
_Thursday._--Little difficulty arisen in connection with Budget.
SQUIRE faced by deficit of million and half. This he met by expedient
that will be historical, as affording JOKIM opportunity for a popular
jape. The SQUIRE has dropped his penny in the slot, in accordance with
directions, pulls out the drawer, and finds there is something more
than the sum necessary to balance the year's account. That is all
very well; but there are some amateur CHANCELLORS of the EXCHEQUER who
would do great things with the odd L20,000 or L30,000 which remains as
surplus. CLARK wants Graduated Income-tax; BARTLEY proposes Abatement
on Incomes below L200; whilst GRANT LAWSON would let farmers off with
half the proposed increase. Best of all is, ALPHEUS CLEOPHAS, who
would straightway abolish the tax on tea. The keen insight of ALPHEUS
notes the little difficulty about the deficit.
"The CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER," he observed, in his most judicial
manner, "may ask me to suggest another source of revenue." The SQUIRE
pricked up his ears; the Committee sat attentive. If ALPHEUS CLEOPHAS
had given his great mind to consideration of the subject, it might be
regarded as settled. All waited for his next utterances. "That," he
continued, in steely tones, "is the CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER'S
business. Mine is to carry out the Newcastle Programme." ALPHEUS
CLEOPHAS thereupon resumed his seat, leaving the SQUIRE gloomily
facing the dead wall of his deficit.
_Business done._--Budget Bill passed report stage.
_Friday Night._--Some young bloods below Gangway, on Ministerial side,
in distinctly low spirits. On Tuesday night, stage of Budget Bill
being taken, with ten minutes to spare, ASQUITH nimbly moved reference
of Employers' Liability Bill to Grand Committee. Opposition, who want
it referred to Select Committee, were under impression Mr. G. had
promised discussion should not be taken till Thursday or Friday. Last
night CHAMBERLAIN protested that they had been betrayed, and deceived.
Young bloods below Gangway disposed to chuckle over this spectacle.
Mr. G., on contrary, takes it seriously to heart. Having got Bill
referred to Grand Committee, positively agrees to rescind Order, and
begin all over again.
"It's very seldom," says the SAGE OF QUEEN ANNE'S GATE, in most
melancholy mood, "that our side show themselves capable of doing a
smart thing. When, by chance, it is accomplished, Mr. G. comes along,
and coolly undoes it."
To-day, nearly two hours spent in discussing question; Bill,
eventually, remitted to Grand Committee, as it had been left at
midnight on Tuesday.
"Shan't play!" cries CHAMBERLAIN. "All very well for you, with your
majority, to bowl us over, but you won't gain any time by it. You may
take a horse to the Grand Committee, but you can't make him discuss
your Bill."
_Business done._--Budget Bill through.
* * * * *