CCXVI.--MR. HUGH MACKAIL _of Irvine_.
(_ADVANTAGES OF OUR WANTS AND DISTEMPERS--CHRIST UNSPEAKABLE._)
REVEREND AND DEAR BROTHER,--Grace, mercy, and peace be to you.--I
received your letter. I bless you for it.
My dry root would take more dew and summer's-rain than it getteth,
were it not that Christ will have dryness and deadness in us to work
upon. If there were no timber to work upon, art would die, and never
be seen. I see that grace hath a field, to play upon and to course up
and down, in our wants; so that I am often thanking God, not for
guiltiness, but for guiltiness for Christ to whet and sharpen His
grace upon. I am half content to have boils for the sake of the
plasters of my Lord Jesus. Sickness hath this advantage, that it
draweth our sweet Physician's hand, and His holy and soft fingers, to
touch our withered and leper skins. It is a blessed fever that
fetcheth Christ to the bedside. I think my Lord's "How doest thou with
it, sick body?" is worth all my pained nights. Surely, I have no more
for Christ than emptiness and want; take or leave, He will get me no
otherwise. I must sell myself and my wants to Him; but I have no price
to give for Him. If He would put a fair and real seal upon His love to
me, and bestow upon me a larger share of Christ's love (which I would
fainest be in hands with of anything; I except not heaven itself), I
should go on sighing and singing under His cross. But the worst is,
many take me for somebody, because the wind bloweth upon a withered
prisoner; but the truth is, that I am both lean and thin in that,
wherein many believe I abound. I would, if bartering were in my
power, niffer joy with Christ's love and faith, and instead of the hot
sunshine, be content to walk under a cloudy shadow with more grief and
sadness, to have more faith, and a fair occasion of setting forth and
commending Christ, and to make that lovely One, that fair One, that
sweetest and dearest Lord Jesus, market-sweet for many ears and hearts
in Scotland. And, if it were in my power, to roup Christ to the three
kingdoms, and withal persuade buyers to come, and to take such sweet
wares as Christ, I would think to have many sweet bargains betwixt
Christ and the sons of men. I would that I could be humble and go with
a low sail; I would that I had desires with wings, and running upon
wheels, swift, and active, and speedy, in longing for Christ's honour.
But I know that my Lord is as wise here as I dow be thirsty; and
infinitely more zealous of His honour than I can be hungry for the
manifestation of it to men and angels. But, oh that my Lord would take
my desires off my hand, and a thousand-fold more unto them, and sow
spiritual inclinations upon them, for the coming of Christ's kingdom
to the sons of men, that they might be higher, and deeper, and longer,
and broader! For my longest measures are too short for Christ, my
depth is ebb, and the breadth of my affections to Christ narrowed and
pinched. Oh for an ingine and a wit, to prescribe ways to men how
Christ might be all, in all the world! Wit is here behind affection,
and affection behind obligation. Oh, how little dow I give to Christ,
and how much hath He given me! Oh that I could sing grace's praises,
and love's praises! seeing that I was like a fool soliciting the Law,
and making moyen to the Law's court for mercy, and found challenges
that way. But now I deny that judge's power; for I am Grace's man. I
hold not worth a drink of water, the Law, or any lord but Jesus:--and
till I bethought me of this, I was slain with doubtings, and fears,
and terrors. I praise the new court, and the new landlord, and the new
salvation, purchased in the name of Jesus and at His instance. Let the
Old Man, if he please, go make his moan to the Law, and seek
acquaintance thereaway, because he is condemned in that court; I hope
that the New Man (I and Christ together) will not be heard;[331] and
this is the more soft and the more easy way for me and for my cross
together. Seeing that Christ singeth my welcome home, and taketh me
in, and maketh short accounts and short work of reckoning betwixt me
and my Judge, I must be Christ's man, and His tenant, and subject to
His court. I am sure that suffering for Christ could not be borne
otherwise; but I give my hand and my faith to all who would suffer for
Christ, that they shall be well handled, and fare well in the same
way, that I have found the cross easy and light.
[331] Not be heard lifting up His voice in that court of the Law.
Grace be with you.
Yours, in his sweet Lord Jesus,