Madam, be pleased at a fit time to try my Lord of Lorn's mind, if his
Lordship would be pleased that I dedicate another work against the
Arminians, to his honourable name.[320] For howbeit I would compare no
patron to his Lordship, and though I have sufficient experience of his
love, yet it is possible that his Lordship may think it not expedient
at this time. But I expect your Ladyship's answer, and I hope that
your Ladyship will be plain.
[320] "What his Lordship's answer was, we are not informed; but
Rutherford did not publish any book at that time, or for some years
afterwards, though it is not improbable that, while under confinement,
he devoted himself much to theological study" (Murray's "Life of
Rutherford").
CCVI.--_For the Right Honourable my_ LADY VISCOUNTESS OF KENMURE.
(_THE USE OF SUFFERINGS--FEARS UNDER THEM--DESIRE THAT CHRIST BE
GLORIFIED._)
MADAM,--Grace, mercy, and peace be to your Ladyship.--I long to hear
from you, and that dear child; and for that cause I trouble you with
letters.
I am for the present thinking the sparrows and the swallows, that
build their nests in Anwoth, blessed birds. The Lord hath made all my
congregation desolate. Alas! I am oft at this, "Show me wherefore Thou
contendest with me." O earth, earth, cover not the violence done to
me. I know it is my faithless jealousy, in this my dark night, to take
a friend for a foe; yet hath not my Lord made any plea with me. I
chide with Him, but He giveth me fair words. Seeing my sins and the
sins of my youth deserved strokes, how am I obliged to my Lord, who
amongst many crosses hath given me a waled and chosen cross, to suffer
for the name of my Lord Jesus! Since I must have chains, He would put
golden chains on me, watered over with many consolations. Seeing I
must have sorrow (for I have sinned, O Preserver of mankind!), He
hath waled out for me joyful sorrow,--honest, spiritual, and glorious
sorrow. My crosses come through mercy and love's fingers, from the
kind heart of a Brother, Christ my Lord; and, therefore, they must be
sweet and sugared. Oh, what am I! such a lump, such a rotten mass of
sin, to be counted a bairn worthy to be nurtured, and stricken with
the best and most honourable rod in my Father's house, the golden rod,
wherewith my eldest Brother, the Lord, Heir of the inheritance, and
His faithful witnesses were stricken withal.
It would be thought that I should be thankful and rejoice. But my
beholders and lovers in Christ have eyes of flesh, and have made my
one to be ten, and I am somebody in their books. My witness is above,
that there are armies of thoughts within me saying the contrary, and
laughing at their wide mistake. If my inner side were seen, my
corruption would appear: I would lose and forfeit love and respect at
the hands of any that love God: pity would come in the place of these.
Oh, if they would yet set me lower, and my well-beloved Christ higher!
I would I had grace and strength of my Lord to be joyful, and
contentedly glad and cheerful, that God's glory might ride, and openly
triumph before the view of men, angels, devils, earth, heaven, hell,
sun, moon, and all God's creatures, upon my pain and sufferings;
providing always, that I felt not the Lord's hatred and displeasure.
But I fear that His fair glory be but soiled in coming through such a
foul creature as I am. If I could be the sinless matter of glorifying
Christ, howbeit to my loss, pain, sufferings, and extremity of
wretchedness, how would my soul rejoice! But I am far from this. He
knoweth that His love hath made me a prisoner, and bound me hand and
foot; but it is my pain that I cannot win loose, nor get loose hands
and a loosed heart, to do service to my Lord Jesus, and to speak His
love. I confess that I have neither tongue nor pen to do it. Christ's
love is more than my praises, and above the thoughts of the angel
Gabriel, and all the mighty hosts that stand before the throne of God.
I think shame, I am sad and cast down, to think that my foul tongue,
and my polluted heart, should come in to help others to sing aloud the
praises of the love of Christ: all I dow do, is to wish the choir to
grow throng,[321] and to grow in the extolling of Christ. Wo, wo is me
for my guiltiness seen to few! My hidden wounds, still bleeding
within me, are before the eyes of no man; but if my sweet Lord Jesus
were not still bathing, washing, balming, healing, and binding them
up, they should rot, and break out to my shame.
[321] Grow into a multitude.
I know not what will be the end of my suffering. I have seen but the
one side of my cross; what will be the other side, He knoweth who hath
His fire in Zion. Let Him lead me, if it were through hell. I thank my
Lord, that my on-waiting and holding my peace as I do (to see what
more Christ will do to me), is my joy. Oh, if my ease, joy, pleasure
for evermore, were laid in wadset and in pledge, to buy praises to
Christ! But I am far from this. It is easy for a poor soul, in the
deep debt of Christ's love, to spit farther[322] than he dow leap or
jump, and to feed upon broad wishes that Christ may be honoured; but
in performance I am stark nought. I have nothing, nothing to give
Christ but poverty. Except He would comprise and arrest my soul and my
love (oh, oh, if He would do that!), I have nothing for Him. He may
indeed seize upon a dyvour's person, soul and body; but he hath no
goods for Christ to meddle with. But how glad would my soul be, if He
would forfeit my love and never give it me again!
[322] To show a wish to get at more than he can accomplish.
Madam, I would be glad to hear that Christ's claim to you were still
the more, and that you were still going forward, and that you were
nearer Him. I do not honour Christ myself; but I wish all others to
make sail to Christ's house. I would I could invite you to go into
your Well-beloved's house-of-wine, and that upon my word; you would
then see a new mystery of love in Christ that you never saw before.
I am somewhat encouraged in that your Ladyship is not dry and cold to
Christ's prisoner, as some are. I hope it is put up in my Master's
count-book. I am not much grieved that my jealous Husband break in
pieces my idols, that either they dare not or will not do for me. My
Master needeth not their help, but they had need to be that
serviceable as to help Him. Madam, I have been that bold as to put you
and that sweet child into the prayers of Mr. Andrew Cant, Mr. James
Martin, the Lady Leyes, and some others in this country that truly
love Christ. Be pleased to let me hear how the child is. The blessings
that came "upon the head of Joseph, and on the top of the head of him
who was separated from his brethren," and the "good-will of Him who
dwelt in The Bush," be seen upon him and you. Madam, I can say, by
some little experience, more now than before of Christ to you. I am
still upon this, that if you seek, there is a pose, a hidden treasure,
and a gold mine in Christ, you never yet saw. Then come and see.
Thus recommending you to God's dearest mercy, I rest, your own, in his
sweet Lord Jesus, at all obedience,