ABERDEEN, _May 10, 1637_.
CLXX.--_To_ ROBERT GORDON _of Knockbrex_.
(_LONGING FOR CHRIST'S GLORY--FELT GUILTINESS--LONGING FOR CHRIST'S
LOVE--SANCTIFICATION._)
DEAR BROTHER,--Grace, mercy, and peace be to you. I received your
letter from Edinburgh.
I would not wish to see another heaven, whill I get mine own heaven,
but a new moon like the light of the sun, and a new sun like the light
of seven days shining upon my poor self, and the Church of Jews and
Gentiles, and upon my withered and sunburnt mother, the Church of
Scotland, and upon her sister Churches, England and Ireland; and to
have this done, to the setting on high of our great King! It
mattereth[267] not, howbeit I were separate from Christ, and had a
sense of ten thousand years' pain in hell, if this were. O blessed
nobility! O glorious, renowned gentry! Oh, blessed were the tribes in
this land to wipe my Lord Jesus' weeping face, and to take the
sackcloth off Christ's loins, and to put His kingly robes upon Him!
Oh, if the Almighty would take no less wager of me than my heaven to
have it done! But my fears are still for wrath once upon Scotland. But
I know that her day will clear up, and that glory shall be upon the
top of the mountains, and joy at the voice[268] of the married wife,
once again. Oh that our Lord would make us to contend, and plead, and
wrestle by prayers and tears, for our Husband's restoring of His
forfeited heritage in Scotland.
[267] _Mattereth?_ In other editions it is "_maketh_."
[268] "_Noise_," in old editions.
Dear brother, I am for the present in no small battle, betwixt felt
guiltiness, and pining longings and high fevers for my Well-beloved's
love! Alas! I think that Christ's love playeth the niggard to me, and
I know it is not for scarcity of love. There is enough in Him, but my
hunger prophesieth of in-holding and sparingness in Christ; for I have
but little of Him, and little of His sweetness. It is a dear summer
with me; yet there is such joy in the eagerness and working of hunger
for Christ, that I am often at this, that if I had no other heaven
than a continual hunger for Christ, such a heaven of ever-working
hunger were still a heaven to me. I am sure that Christ's love cannot
be cruel; it must be a ruing, a pitying, a melting-hearted love; but
suspension of that love I think half a hell, and the want of it more
than a whole hell. When I look to my guiltiness, I see that my
salvation is one of our Saviour's greatest miracles, either in heaven
or earth. I am sure I may defy any man to show me a greater wonder.
But, seeing I have no wares, no hire, no money for Christ, He must
either take me with want, misery, corruption, or then want me. Oh, if
He would be pleased to be compassionate and pitiful-hearted to my
pining fevers of longing for Him; or then give me a real pawn to keep,
out of His own hand, till God send a meeting betwixt Him and me! But I
find neither as yet. Howbeit He who is absent be not cruel nor unkind,
yet His absence is cruel and unkind. His love is like itself; His love
is _His_ love; but the covering and the cloud, the vail and the mask
of His love, is more wise than kind, if I durst speak my
apprehensions. I lead no process now against the suspension and delay
of God's love; I would with all my heart frist till a day ten heavens,
and the sweet manifestations of His love. Certainly I think that I
could give Christ much on His word; but my whole pleading is about
intimated and borne-in assurance of _His_ love. Oh, if He would
persuade me of[269] my heart's desire of His love at all, He should
have the term-day of payment at His own cowing.[270] But I know that
raving unbelief speaketh its pleasure, while it looketh upon
guiltiness and this body of corruption. Oh how loathsome and
burdensome is it to carry about a dead corpse, this old carrion of
corruption! Oh how steadable a thing is a Saviour, to make a sinner
rid of his chains and fetters!
[269] Convince me that He intends to gratify my heart's desire.
[270] Carving.
I have now made a new question, whether Christ be more to be loved,
for giving Sanctification or for free Justification. And I hold that
He is more and most to be loved for sanctification. It is in some
respect greater love in Him to sanctify, than to justify; for He
maketh us most like Himself in His own essential portraiture and
image, in sanctifying us. Justification doth but make us happy, which
is to be like angels only. Neither is it such a misery to lie a
condemned man, and under unforgiven guiltiness, as to serve sin, and
work the works of the devil; and, therefore, I think sanctification
cannot be bought: it is above price. God be thanked for ever, that
Christ was a told-down price for sanctification. Let a sinner, if
possible, lie in hell for ever, if He make him truly holy; and let him
lie there burning in love to God, rejoicing in the Holy Ghost, hanging
upon Christ by faith and hope,--that is heaven in the heart and bottom
of hell!
Alas! I find a very thin harvest here, and few to be saved.
Grace, grace be with you.
Yours, in his lovely and longed-for Lord Jesus,