[WILLIAM GORDON, to whom this letter is addressed, was the eldest
son of Alexander Gordon of Earlston, formerly noticed (Letter
LIX.). He exhibited in youth much of the piety and public spirit
of his father. His well-known attachment to the cause of
Presbytery rendered him early obnoxious to Charles II. and the
Malignant party. When that monarch came to Scotland in 1651, and
held a Parliament, he was fined for his compliance with the
English; and on his refusing to pay the fine, soldiers were sent
out to extract it by compulsion from his tenants, who were almost
ruined by the driving away of their cattle and the robbing of
their houses. He was again fined by Middleton, in 1662, and
summoned before the Privy Council. On the 1st of March 1664,
sentence of banishment from the kingdom was pronounced upon him
for keeping conventicles, and for refusing to engage to refrain
from such meetings in all time coming. Whither he went is not
known; but the Council, on being petitioned, granted him licence
to return until the 15th of March ensuing, at the same time
requiring him to "depart and remain forth of the kingdom the said
day, in case the said Lords give order therefor" ("Decr. Secr.
Council," Register House, Edin.). After this he remained at home,
but his end was near, for, setting out to join the forces of the
Covenanters at Bothwell, in the beginning of the year 1679, after
the defeat (either on the day of it, or the day after), he was
met by a party of English dragoons, who, upon his refusing to
surrender, killed him on the spot. "Thus fell," says Howie, in
the "Scots Worthies," "a renowned Gordon, a gentleman of good
parts and endowments; a man devoted unto religion and godliness,
and a prime supporter of the Presbyterian interest in that part
of the country where he lived." He was married to Mary, daughter
of Sir John Hope, second baronet of Craighall, and President of
the Court of Session, by his wife Margaret, daughter of Sir
Archibald Murray of Blackbarony. His eldest son, Alexander,
succeeded him.]
[Illustration: BOTHWELL BRIDGE.]
(_CHRIST'S WAYS MISUNDERSTOOD--HIS INCREASING KINDNESS--SPIRITUAL
DELICACY--HARD TO BE DEAD TO THE WORLD._)
HONOURED AND DEAR BROTHER,--Grace, mercy, and peace be to you. I
received your letter, which refreshed my soul.
I thank God that the court is closed; I think shame of my part of it.
I pass now from my unjust summons of unkindness libelled against
Christ my Lord. He is not such a Lord and Master as I took Him to be;
verily He is God, and I am dust and ashes. It took Christ's glooms to
be as good as Scripture speaking wrath; but I have seen the other side
of Christ, and the white side of His cross now. I behoved to come to
Aberdeen to learn a new mystery in Christ, that His promise is better
to be believed than His looks, and that the devil can cause Christ's
glooms to speak a lie to a weak man. Nay, verily, I was a child
before; all by-gones are but bairn's play. I would I could begin to be
a Christian in sad earnest. I need not blame Christ if I be not one,
for He hath showed me heaven and hell in Aberdeen. But the truth is,
for all my sorrow, Christ is nothing in my debt, for comforts have
refreshed my soul. I have heard and seen Him in His sweetness, so as I
am almost saying, it is not He that I was wont to meet with. He
smileth more cheerfully, His kisses are more sweet and soul-refreshing
than the kisses of the Christ I saw before were, though He be the
same. Or rather, the King hath led me up to a measure of joy and
communion with my Bridegroom that I never attained to before, so that
often I think that I will neither borrow nor lend with this
world.[197] I will not strike sail to crosses, nor flatter them to be
quit of them, as I have done. Come all crosses, welcome, welcome! so
that I may get my heartful of my Lord Jesus. I have been so near Him,
that I have said, "I take instruments that this is the Lord. Leave a
token behind Thee, that I may never forget this." Now, what can Christ
do more to dawt one of His poor prisoners? Therefore, Sir, I charge
you in the name of my Lord Jesus, praise with me, and show unto others
what He hath done unto my soul. This is the fruit of my sufferings,
that I desire Christ's name may be spread abroad in this kingdom, in
my behalf. I hope in God not to slander Him again. Yet in this, I get
not my feasts without some mixture of gall; neither am I free of old
jealousies, for He hath removed my lovers and friends far from me; He
hath made my congregation desolate, and taken away my crown. And my
dumb Sabbaths are like a stone tied to a bird's foot, that wanteth not
wings,--they seem to hinder me to fly, were it not that I dare not say
one word, but, "Well done, Lord Jesus."
[197] See Letter XCVIII.
We can, in our prosperity, sport ourselves, and be too bold with
Christ; yea, be that insolent, as to chide with Him; but under the
water we dare not speak. I wonder now of my sometime boldness, to
chide and quarrel Christ, to nickname providence when it stroked me
against the hair; for now, swimming in the waters, I think my will is
fallen to the ground of the water: I have lost it. I think that I
would fain let Christ alone, and give Him leave to do with me what He
pleaseth, if He would smile upon me. Verily, we know not what an evil
it is to spill and indulge ourselves, and to make an idol of our will.
I was once that I would not eat except I had waled meat; now I dare
not complain of the crumbs and parings under His table. I was once
that I would make the house ado, if I saw not the world carved and set
in order to my liking; now I am silent when I see God hath set
servants on horseback, and is fattening and feeding the children of
perdition. I pray God, that I may never find my will again. Oh, if
Christ would subject my will to His, and trample it under His feet,
and liberate me from that lawless lord!
Now, Sir, in your youth gather fast; your sun will mount to the
meridian quickly, and thereafter decline. Be greedy of grace. Study
above anything, my dear brother, to mortify your lusts. Oh, but pride
of youth, vanity, lusts, idolizing of the world, and charming
pleasures, take long time to root them out! As far as ye are advanced
in the way to heaven, as near as ye are to Christ, as much progress as
ye have made in the way of mortification, ye will find that ye are far
behind, and have most of your work before you. I never took it to be
so hard to be dead to my lusts and to this world. When the day of
visitation cometh, and your old idols come weeping about you, ye will
have much ado not to break your heart. It is best to give up in time
with them, so as ye could at a call quit your part of this world for a
drink of water, or a thing of nothing. Verily I have seen the best of
this world, a moth-eaten, threadbare coat: I purpose to lay it aside,
being now old and full of holes. O for my house above, not made with
hands!
Pray for Christ's prisoner; and write to me. Remember my love to your
mother. Desire her, from me, to make ready for removing; the Lord's
tide will not bide her; and to seek an heavenly mind, that her heart
may be often there. Grace be with you.
Yours, and Christ's prisoner,