THE TUTOR.
And now above them pours a wondrous voice,
(Such as Greek reapers heard in Sicily),
With wounding rapture in it, like love's arrows.
_George Eliot_.
The next day, the first of my visit, was a very sultry one, and the rest
of the party thought it was, no doubt, a very dull one.
Kilian and Mr. Eugene Whitney went away in the early train, not to
return, alas, till the evening of the following day. Miss Leighton was
languid, and yawned incessantly, though she tried to appear interested
in things, and was very attentive to me. Charlotte Benson and Henrietta
laid strong-minded plans for the day, and carried them out faithfully.
First, they played a game of croquet, under umbrellas, for the sun was
blazing on the ground: that was for exercise; then, for mental
discipline, they read history for an hour in the library; and then, for
relaxation, under veils and sunhats, read Ruskin for two hours by
the river.
I cannot think Henrietta understood Ruskin, but I have no doubt she
thought she did, and tried to share in her friend's enthusiasm. Sophie
had a little headache, and spent much of the morning in her room. The
boys were away with their tutor in the farm-house where they had their
school-room, and the house seemed deserted and delightful. I wandered
about at ease, chose my book, and sat for hours in the boat-house by the
river, not reading Ruskin, nor even my poor little novel, but gazing and
dreaming and wondering. It can be imagined what the country seemed to
me, in beautiful summer weather, after the dreary years I had spent in a
city-street.
It is quite impossible to describe all that seemed starting into life
within me, all at once--- so many new forces, so much new life.
My home-sickness had passed away, and I was inclined to be very happy,
particularly in the liberty that seemed to promise. Dinner was very
quiet, and every one seemed dull, even Charlotte Benson, who ordinarily
had life enough for all. The boys were there, but their tutor had gone
away on a long walk and would not be back till evening. "_A la bonne
heure_," cried Madame, with a little yawn; "freedom of the halls, and
deshabille, for one afternoon."
So we spent the afternoon with our doors open, and with books, or
without books, on the bed.
Nobody came into my room, except Mrs. Hollenbeck for a few moments,
looking very pretty in a white peignoir, and rather sleepy at the same
time; hoping I was comfortable and had found something to amuse me in
the library.
It seemed to be thought a great bore to dress, to judge from the
exclamations of ennui which I heard in the hall, as six o'clock
approached, and the young ladies wandered into each other's room and
bewailed the necessity. I think Miss Leighton would have been very glad
to have stayed on the bed, and tried to sleep away the hours that
presented no amusement; but Charlotte Benson laughed at her so cruelly,
that she began to dress at once, and said, she had not intended what she
said, of course.
I was the first to be ready, and went down to the piazza. The heat of
the day was over and there was a soft, pleasant breeze. We were to have
tea at seven o'clock, and while I sat there, the bell rang. The tutor
came in from under the trees where he had been reading, looking rather
pale after his long walk.
He bowed slightly as he passed me, and waited at the other end of the
piazza, reading as he stood, till the others came down to the
dining-room. As we were seating ourselves he came in and took his place,
with a bow to me and the others. Mrs. Hollenbeck asked him a little
about his expedition, and paid him a little more attention than usual,
being the only man.
He had a most fortunate way of saying just the right thing and then
being silent; never speaking unless addressed, and then conveying
exactly the impression he desired. I think he must have appeared in a
more interesting light that usual at this meal, for as we went out from
the dining room Mary Leighton put her arm through mine and whispered
"Poor fellow! How lonely he must be! Let's ask him to go and walk with
us this evening."
Before I could remonstrate or detach myself from her, she had twisted
herself about, in a peculiarly supple and child-like manner that she
had, and had made the suggestion to him.
He was immeasurably surprised, no doubt, but he gave no sign of it.
After a silence of two or three instants, during which, I think, he was
occupied in trying to find a way to decline, he assented very sedately.
Charlotte Benson and her friend, who were behind us, were enraged at
this proceeding. During the week they had all been in the house
together, they had never gone beyond speaking terms with the tutor, and
this they had agreed was the best way to keep things, and it seemed to
be his wish no less than theirs. Here was this saucy girl, in want of
amusement, upsetting all their plans. They shortly declined to go to
walk with us: and so Mary Leighton, Mr. Langenau, and I started alone
toward the river.
It must be confessed, Miss Leighton was not rewarded for her effort, for
a stiffer and more uncomfortable companion could not be imagined. He
entirely declined to respond to her coquetry, and she very soon found
she must abandon this role; but she was nothing if not coquettish, and
the conversation flagged uncomfortably. Before we reached home she was
quite impatient, and ran up the steps, when we got there, as if it were
a great relief. The tutor raised his hat when he left us at the door,
turned back, and disappeared for the rest of the evening.
The next morning, coming down-stairs half an hour before breakfast, I
went into the library (a little room at the right of the front door),
for a book I had left there. I threw myself into an easy-chair, and
opened it, when I caught sight of the tutor, reading at the window. I
half started to my feet, and then sank back again in confusion; for what
was there to go away for?
He rose and bowed, and resumed his seat and his book.
The room was quite small, and we were very near each other. How I could
possibly have missed seeing him as I entered, now surprised me. I longed
to go away, but did not dare do anything that would seem rude. He
appeared very much engrossed with his book, but I, for my part, could
not read a word, and was only thinking how I could get away. Possibly he
guessed at my embarrassment, for after about ten minutes he arose, and
coming up to the table by which I sat, he took up a card, and placed it
in his book for a mark, and shut it up, then made some remark to me
about the day.
The color was coming and going in my face.
He must have felt sorry or curious, for he did not go directly away, and
continued to talk of things that did not require me to answer him.
I do not know what it was about his voice that was so different from the
ordinary voices of people. There was a quality in it that I had never
heard in any other. But perhaps it was in the ear that listened, as well
as the voice that spoke. And apart from the tones, the words I never
could forget. The most trivial things that he ever said to me, I can
remember to this day.
I believe that this was not of my imagination, but that others felt it
in some degree as I did. It was this that made him such an invaluable
teacher; he impressed upon those flesh-and-blood boys, in that one
summer, more than they would have learned in whole years from ordinary
persons. It was not very strange, then, that I was smitten with the
strangest interest in all he said and did, and that his words made the
deepest impression on me.
No doubt it is pleasant to be listened to by one whose face tells you
you are understood; and the tutor was not in a hurry to go away. He had
got up from the window, I know, with the intention of going out of the
room, but he continued standing, looking down at me and talking, for
half an hour at least.
The soft morning wind came in at the open door and window, with a scent
of rose and honeysuckle: the pretty little room was full of the early
sunshine in which there is no glare: I can see it all now, and I can
hear, as ever, his low voice.
He talked of the book I held in my hand, of the views on the river, of
the pleasantness of country life. I fancy I did not say much, though I
never am able to remember what I said when talking to him. Whatever I
said was a mere involuntary accord with him. I never recollect to have
felt that I did not agree with and admire every word he uttered.
How different his manner from last night when he had talked with Mary
Leighton; all the stiffness, the half-concealed repelling tone was
gone. I had not heard him speak to any one, except perhaps once to
Benny, as he spoke now. I was quite sure that he liked me, and that he
did not class me with the others in the house. But when the
breakfast-bell rang, he gave a slight start, and his voice changed; and
such a frown came over his face! He looked at his watch, said something
about the hour, and quickly left the room. I bent my head over my book
and sat still, till I heard them all come down and go into the
breakfast-room. I trusted they would not know he had been talking to me,
and there was little danger, unless they guessed it from my cheeks being
so aflame.
At breakfast he was more silent than ever, and his brow had not quite
got over that sudden frown. At dinner he was away again, as the
day before.
The day passed much as yesterday had done. About four o'clock there came
a telegram from Kilian to his sister. He had been delayed, and Mr.
Whitney would wait for him, and they would come the next evening by the
boat. I think Mary Leighton could have cried if she had not been
ashamed. Her pretty blue organdie was on the bed ready to put on. It
went back into the wardrobe very quickly, and she came down to tea in a
gray barége that was a little shabby.
A rain had come on about six o'clock. At tea the candles were lit, and
the windows closed. Every one looked moped and dull; the evening
promised to be insufferable. Mrs. Hollenbeck saw the necessity of
rousing herself and providing us some amusement. When Mr. Langenau
entered, she met his bow with one of her best smiles: how the change
must have struck him; for she had been very mechanical and polite to him
before. Now she spoke to him with the charming manner that brought every
one to her feet.
And what was the cause of this sudden kindness? It is very easy for me
to see now, though then I had not a suspicion. Alas! I am afraid that
the cheeks aflame at breakfast-time were the immediate cause of the
change. Mrs. Hollenbeck would not have made so marked a movement for an
evening's entertainment: it seemed to suit her very well that I should
talk to the tutor in the library before breakfast, and she meant to give
me opportunities for talking to him in the parlor too.
"A dreary evening, is it not?" she began. "What shall we all do?
Charlotte, can't you think of something?"
Charlotte, who had her own plans for a quiet evening by the lamp with a
new book, of course could not think of anything.
"Henrietta, at least you shall give us some music, and Mr. Langenau, I
am sure you will be good enough to help us; I will send over to the
school-room for that flute and those piles of music that I've seen upon
a shelf, and you will be charitable enough to play for us."
"I must beg you will not take that trouble."
"Oh, Mr. Langenau, that is selfish now."
Mrs. Hollenbeck did not press the subject then, but made herself
thoroughly delightful during tea, and as we rose from the table renewed
the request in a low tone to Mr. Langenau: and the result was, a little
after eight o'clock he came into the parlor where we sat. A place was
made for him at the table around which we were sitting, and Mrs.
Hollenbeck began the process of putting him at his ease. There was no
need. The tutor was quite as much at ease as any one, and, in a little
while, imperceptibly became the person to whom we were all listening.
Charlotte Benson at last gave up her book, and took her work-box
instead. We were no longer moping and dull around the table. And bye and
bye Henrietta, much alarmed, was sent to the piano, and her poor little
music certainly sounded very meagre when Mr. Langenau touched the keys.
I think he consented to play not to appear rude, but with the firm
intention of not being the instrument of our entertainment, and not
being made use of out of his own accepted calling. But happily for us,
he soon forgot all about us, and played on, absorbed in himself and in
his music. We listened breathlessly, the others quite as much engrossed
as I, because they all knew much more of music than I did. Suddenly,
after playing for a long while, he started from the piano, and came back
to the table. He was evidently agitated. Before the others could say a
word of thanks or wonder, I cried, in a fear of the cessation of what
gave me such intense pleasure,
"Oh, sing something; can't you sing?"
"Yes, I can sing," he said, looking down at me with those dangerous
eyes. "Will it give you pleasure if I sing for you?"
He did not wait for an answer, but turned back to the piano.
He had said "if I sing for you," and I knew that for me he was singing.
I do not know what it was for others, but for me, it was the only true
music that I had ever heard, the only music that I could have begged
might never cease, but flood over all the present and the future,
satisfying every sense. Other voices had roused and thrilled, this
filled me. I asked no more, and could have died with that sound in
my ears.
"Why, Pauline! child! what is it?" cried Mrs. Hollenbeck, as the music
ceased and Mr. Langenau. again came back to the circle round the table.
Every one looked: I was choking with sobs.
"Oh, don't, I don't want you to speak to me," I cried, putting away her
hand and darting from the room. I was not ashamed of myself, even when I
was alone in my room. The powerful magic lasted still, through the
silence and darkness, till I was aroused by the voices of the others
coming up to bed.
Mrs. Hollenbeck knocked at my door with her bedroom candle in her hand,
and, as she stood talking to me, the others strayed in to join her and
to satisfy their curiosity.
"You are very sensitive to music, are you not?" said Charlotte Benson,
contemplatively. She had tried me on Mompssen, and the "Seven Lamps,"
and found me wanting, and now perhaps hoped to find some other point
less faulty.
"I do not know," I said, honestly. "I seem to have been very sensitive
to-night."
"But you are not always?" asked Henrietta Palmer. "You do not always cry
when people sing?"
"Why, no," I said with great contempt. "But I never heard any one sing
like that before."
"He does sing well," said Mrs. Hollenbeck, thoughtfully.
"Immense expression and a fine voice," added Charlotte Benson.
"He has been educated for the stage, you may be sure," said Mary
Leighton, with a little spite. "As Miss d'Estrée says, I never heard
anyone sing like that, out of the chorus of an opera."
"Well, I think," returned Charlotte Benson, "if there were many voices
like that in ordinary choruses, one would be glad to dispense with the
solos and duets."
"Oh, you would not find his voice so wonderful, if you heard it out of a
parlor. It is very well, but it would not fill a concert hall, much less
an opera house. No; you may be sure he has been educated for some of
those German choruses; you know they are very fine musicians."
"Well, I don't know that it is anything to us what he was educated for,"
said Charlotte Benson, sharply. "He has given us a very delightful
evening, and I, for one, am much obliged to him."
"_Et moi aussi"_ murmured Henrietta, wreathing her large beautiful arms
about her friend, and the two sauntered away.
Mary Leighton, in general ill-humor, and still remembering the walk of
the last evening, desired to fire a parting-shot, and exclaimed, as she
went out, "Well, I think it is something to us; I like to have
gentlemen about me."
"You need not be uneasy," said Mrs. Hollenbeck, a little stiffly. "I
think Mr. Langenau is a gentleman."
But at this moment his step was heard in the hall below, and there was
an end put to the conversation.