_A Doctor of the Lawes boughte a cup, who by the subtiltie of two
false varlets, lost both his money and the cuppe._
To conclude our nomber of Nouels, I haue thought good (gentle
reader) to bringe in place a Doctour and his wyfe, to giue thee
a merye farewell: because thou haste hitherto so frendly and
pacientlye suffred thy selfe to be stayed in reading of the
reste: wherefore with a pleasaunt Adieu in a short and merie
tale, which discloseth the subtiltie of two false knaues to
beguile a poore Doctor and his wyfe, I meane to end. And
therfore do saye, that in the Citie of Bologna in Italie, there
was a worshipful Doctor of the Lawes, called Maister Florien,
which in other thinges sauing his profession was but a slouen,
and of so ill behauiour as none of his facultie the like: who by
sauing of many crustes, had layed vp so good store of Crownes,
as he caused to be made a very great and costly Cup of siluer,
for payment of which Cup he went to the Goldsmithe's house, and
hauinge payed for the siluer, the guilt, and for the fashion,
being without his Clarke to carie it home, he prayed the
Goldsmith to lend him his man. By chaunce there were newly come
to the Citie, two yonge men that were Romaynes, which ranged vp
and downe the streates with eares vpright, to view and marke
euery thinge done in the same, bearing about them counterfait
Iewels and lingots, guilt of S. Martine's touche, to deceiue him
that would playe the foole to buy them. One of them was called
Liello and the other Dietiquo. These two Marchantes being at
good leasure to wander the streates, beholding the passangers to
and fro, by fortune espied the Goldsmithe's man, who (to set
forth the workemanship and making of the cup) caried the same
open. These gallants bearing a spite to the cup, more for the
siluer than for other malice, purposed to inuent some sleight to
get the Cuppe, and a farre of with slie pase, followed the
Goldsmithe's man, of whom they craftelie inquired of the owner
of the Cup, and where hee had left maister Florien. When they
had concluded vppon their enterprise, Liello (the finest boye of
them both) went straight to buy a Lamprey of great price, and
hiding the same vnder his cloake, repayred directly to Maister
Doctour's house, where finding his wife of semblable wit and
behauiour that her husband was, with vnshamefast face and like
grace, said vnto her: "Maistresse, Maister Florien your husbande
hath sent you a fishe, and prayeth you to dresse it and to make
dinner readie, because he bringeth a company of other Doctoures
with him: in the meane time he requireth you, to retorne vnto
him the Cuppe againe, whiche hee sent you this morning by the
Goldsmithe's man, because he had forgotten to stampe his armes
vppon it." The woman receyuinge the fishe, franckly deliuered
him the Cup, and went about to prepare dinner. Liello (which
hunted after gaine but better caught his prey) hied him a pace
and conueyed himselfe with speede to the house of one of his
Countriemen, and there reioyced with his companion, attending
for the comming of the Royster Dietiquo, who taried in the
Towne, wayting and viewing what pursute was made after his
fellowe. Sone after maister Florien retourned to his house and
finding his dinner more delicate than it was wont to be,
marueyled, and asked his wyfe who was at all that coste. His
wyfe very scornefully aunswered: "Why sir, haue you forgotten
that you sente me word this morning that you woulde bring home
with you diuers Gentlemen to dinner?" "What" (quoth the Doctour)
"I thincke you be a foole." "I am not" (sayd shee) "and for
better witnesse you sent mee this fishe, that I would you had
been better aduised before you had bestowed such coste."
"I assure thee:" quoth hee, "I sent thee no fishe, but belike it
was some folishe knaue that had forgotten his arrant and
mistaken the house: but howsoeuer it was wyse, we at this time
will be content to fare well, at other mennes charge." "Why sir
(sayd his wyfe) call your selfe to better remembraunce, for hee
that brought the Lampry, came to me for your Cup, by this token
that you would haue your armes engrauen vppon the same." At
those words the poore Doctour, after he had discharged three or
foure Canons laden with haile shot of scolding words wente out
into the streate, running hither and thither demaunding of al
them he met, if they saw none carrie a Lampry home to his house.
And you would haue said if you had seen the Doctour wyth his
hode hanging at one side, that he had been out of his wittes.
Dietiquo stode still in a corner, and beheld the Doctour's
frantike order, and albeit that he was sure the stealinge of the
Cuppe by Liello his companion was impossible to be knowen, yet
being sorye that the Lampry cost so much, determined also to
play his part, and seinge the doctour stayed from making further
complaintes and pursute, he went home to the Doctour's house,
where smiling with a good grace and bould countenaunce saide
vnto his wyfe: "Maistresse Doctour, good newes, the Cup is
founde, one whom you know caused the same to be done in sport to
bring your husband Maister Florien in a choler, who now is
amonges diuers of his frendes iesting at the pleasuant deceipt,
and hath sent me hither to fetch their dinner, wherein they
praye you to remember the Lamprey, and to come your selfe to
take part of the same, bicause they purpose to be mery." The
woman ioyful of those newes, began some what to complaine of the
griefe which she had taken for losse of the cup, and deliuered
to Dietiquo the rosted Lamprey with the sause, betwene two
platters who incontinently hid the same vnder his cloke, and
wyth so much speede as he could, went to seeke out his companion
Lielo, and their countrimen, which all that while had taried for
him: and God knoweth whether those good fellowes did laugh and
mocke the poore Doctour, and his wife or not, and when she had
made herself gay and trimme to go eate part of the Lamprey, as
she was going out she met Maister Florien lookinge lowringlie
vppon the matter, to whom she said (smiling like a frumenty pot)
"How now, sir, come they hither to dinner? I haue sent you that
Lamprey ready dressed." Then Maister Doctor after faire talke,
beganne to discharge his double Cannons, callinge his wyfe
Whore, bitch, and beaste, and vnderstandinge that he was twice
begiled and could not tell by whom, for spite and despayre he
tare of his beard, and the heare of his head, which bruted and
knowen in the Citie, the Iesters and pleasaunt felowes bent
themselues to laugh, and deuise pastime at the poore begiled
Doctour and his wyfe.