“You’re to bide away—you’re no to come near this place. Na, you may just
fecht; but you’ve nae pith compared to Jenny, for a’ sae auld and thrawn
as Jenny has been a’ her days. It’s no me just—it’s your mamma and the
doctor. Bairn! will you daur struggle wi’ me?”
But Menie would dare struggle with any one—neither command nor
resistance satisfies her.
“Let me in—I want to see my mother.”
“You can want your mother for a day—there’s mair than you wanting her.
That puir auld haverel there—guid forgi’e me—she’s a dying woman—has
sairer lack o’ her than you. Keep to your ain place, Menie Laurie—muckle
made o’—muckle thocht o’—but you’re only a bairn for a’ that—you’re no a
woman of judgment like your mamma or me. I tell you to gang away—I will
not let you in.”
And Jenny stood firm—a jealous incorruptible sentinel in the passage
which led to Miss Annie Laurie’s room. “Miss Menie, ye’ll no take it ill
what I say,” said Jenny; “there’s death in the house, or fast coming. I
ken what the doctor means. Gang you ben the house, like a good bairn;
look in your ain glass, and see if there should be a face like that in a
house where He comes.”
Menie looked silently into the countenance before her—the keen,
impatient, irascible face; but it was easy to see a hasty tear dashed
away from Jenny’s cheek.
And without another word, Menie Laurie turned away. Some withered leaves
are lying on the window-sill—the trees are yielding up their treasures,
dropping them down mournfully to the disconsolate soil—but the meagre
yew-tree rustles before her, darkly green in its perennial gloom. Rather
shed the leaves, the hopes—rather yield to winter meekly for the sake of
spring—rather be cut down, and rooted up altogether, than grow to such a
sullen misanthrope as this.
And Menie Laurie looks into her own face; this gloomy brow—these heavy
eyes—are these the daylight features of Menie Laurie?—the interpretation
of her heart? Earnestly and long she reads—no lesson of vanity, but a
stern sermon from that truthful mirror. Hush!—listen!—what was that?—a
cry!
The doctor is leaving Miss Annie Laurie’s room—the cry is over—there is
only now a feeble sound of weeping; but a shadow strangely still and
sombre has fallen upon the house, and the descending step rings like a
knell upon the stairs. What is it?—what is coming?—and what did it mean,
that melancholy cry?
Alas! a voice out of a startled soul—a cry of wild and terrified
recognition—acknowledgment. Years ago, age came gently to this
dwelling—gently, with light upon his face, and honour on his grey hairs.
There was no entrance for him through the jealous door; but now has come
another who will not be gainsaid.
Gather the children, Reaper—gather the lilies—take the corn full in the
ear—go to the true souls where thought of you dwells among thoughts of
other wonders, glories, solemn things to come—leave this chamber here
with all its poor devices. No such presence has ever stood within its
poverty-stricken walls before. Go where great love, great hope, great
faith, great sorrow, sublimer angels, have made _you_ no phantom—leave
this soul to its toys and delusions—it is a poor triumph—come not here.
Hush, be still. They who have sent him have charged him with a message;
hear it how it rings slow and solemn into the ear of this hushed house.
“There is a way, and it shall be called the way of holiness; the
wayfaring man, though a fool, shall not err therein.” Stay your weeping,
poor fool—poor soul; prayers have gone up for you from the succoured
hearts of some of God’s poor. Unawares, in your simplicity, you have
lent to the Lord. Your gracious debtor gives you back with the grand
usury of heaven—gives you back opportunity—hope—a day to be saved—lays
aside those poor little vanities of yours under the cover of this, His
great magnanimous divine grace—and holds open to your feeble steps the
way, where wayfaring men, though fools, shall not err any more for ever.
“I’ll let you pass, Miss Menie, if you’ll bide a moment,” said Jenny,
wiping her eyes; “he says it’s no the fever he thought it was, but just
a natural decay. Did you hear yon? she wasna looking for Him that’s at
the door, and He’ll no wait lang where ance He’s gi’en His summons—pity
me! I would like to see him coming the road mysel, afore I just found
him at my door-stane.”
The room is very still; through the quiet you can only hear the panting
of a frightened breath, and now and then a timid feeble sob. She has to
go away—knows and feels to the depth of her heart that she must go upon
this solemn road alone; but, with a sad panic of terror and curiosity,
she watches her own feelings, wondering if this and this be death.
And now they sit and read to her while the daylight flushes in
noon—while it fades and wanes into the night—the night and dark of which
she has a childish terror—read to her this gracious blessed Gospel,
which does not address itself alone to the wise and noble, but is for
the simple and for fools. Safe ground, poor soul, safe ground—for this
is no scheme of eclecticism, no portal to the pagan heavens—and you
cannot know yourself so low, so mean, as to escape the range of this
great wide embracing arm.
“I have not done all that I ought to have done,” murmurs poor Miss
Annie. “Don’t leave me:” for she cannot rest except some one holds her
hand, and has a faint superstitious trust in it, as if it held her sure.
A little pause—again the fingers close tightly upon the hand they hold.
“I never did any harm.” The words are so sad—so sad—falling out slow and
feeble upon the hushed air of this darkening room.
“But I never did any good—never, never.” The voice grows stronger. “Does
anybody think I did? I—I—I never was very wise. I used to try to be kind
sometimes;” and in a strain of inarticulate muttering, the sound died
away once more.
And then again the voice of the reader broke the silence. They scarcely
thought the sufferer listened; for ever and anon she broke forth in such
wavering self-justifications, self-condemnings, as these. But now there
is a long silence; strange emotions come and go upon this old, old,
withered face. The tears have been dried from her eyes for hours; now
they come again, bedewing all her poor thin cheeks; but a strange
excitement struggles with her weakness. Looking about to her right hand
and to her left, the dying woman struggles with an eager
defiance—struggles till, at a sudden climax, her broken voice breaks
forth again.
“Who said it was me—me—it’s not me! I never could win anything in this
world—nothing in this world—not a heart to care for me. Do you think I
could win Heaven? I say it is not me; it’s for His sake.
“For His sake—for His sake.” If it is a prayer that ends thus—if it is a
sudden assurance of which she will not loose her hold for ever—no one
can know; for by-and-by her panic returns upon Miss Annie. Close in her
own cold fingers she grasps the hand of Menie Laurie, and whispers, “Is
it dark—is it so dark to you?” with again a thrill of terror and
trembling, and awful curiosity, wondering if this, perchance, is the
gloom of death.
“It is very dark—it is almost night.” The lamp is lighted on the table;
let some one go to her side, and hold this other poor wandering hand.
“Oh! not in the night—not in the night—I am afraid to go out in the
night,” sobs poor Miss Annie; and with a dreadful suspicion in her eyes,
as if of some one drawing near to murder her, she watches the falling of
this fated night.
A solemn vigil—with ever that tight and rigid pressure upon their
clasped hands. Mother and daughter, silent, pale, keep the watch
together; and below, the servants sit awe-stricken, afraid to go to
sleep. Jenny, who is not afraid, goes about the stairs, up and down,
from room to room, sometimes serving the watchers, sometimes only
straying near them, muttering, after her fashion, words which may be
prayers, and dashing off now and then an intrusive tear.
Still, with many a frightened pause—many a waking up, and little pang of
terror, this forlorn heart wanders back into the life which is ending
now—wanders back to think herself once more engaged in the busier scenes
of her youth, in the little occupations, the frivolities and gaiety of
her later years; but howsoever her mind wanders, she never ceases to fix
her eyes upon the span of sky glittering with a single star, which
shines pale on her through the window from which, to please her, they
have drawn the curtain. “I am afraid to go out in the dark;” again and
again she says it with a shudder, and a tightened hold upon their
hands—and steadfastly watches the night.
At last her eyes grow heavy—she has fallen asleep. Little reverence has
Miss Annie won at any time of all her life—but the eyes that look on her
are awed and reverent now. Slowly the hours pass by—slowly the gradual
dawn brightens upon her face—the star has faded out of the heavens—on
her brow, which is the brow of death, the daylight glows in one reviving
flush. The night is over for evermore.
And now her heavy eyes are opened full—her feeble form is raised; and,
with a cry of joy, she throws out her arms to meet the light. Lay her
down tenderly; her chains are broken in her sleep; now she no more needs
the pressure of your kindly hands. Lay her down, she is afraid no
longer; for not in the night, or through the darkness, but with the
morning and the sun, the traveller fares upon her way—where fools do not
err. By this time they have taken her in yonder at the gate. Lay down
all that remains of her to its rest.