PUNCHINELLO has hitherto refrained from criticising the periodicals of
the day, from the mistaken idea that superlative excellence was not
expected in every number of every daily or weekly journal in the land.
He did not know that, if every such journal was not edited so as to suit
the comprehension of all classes of cursory critics, it should be
unqualifiedly condemned. Supposing that a painter should not condemn a
paper for publishing a musical article beyond his comprehension, and
that an architect ought not to get in a rage because he finds in his
favorite journal a paper on beavers which makes him feel insignificant,
PUNCHINELLO has generally looked around upon his fellow-journalists, and
thought them very good fellows, who generally published very good
papers. He did not find superlative excellence in any of their issues,
but then he did not look for it. He might as well pretend to look for
that in the journalists themselves, or in society at large. But he has
lately learned, from the critics of the period, that he ought to look
for it, and that it is the proper thing nowadays to pitch into every
journal which does not, in every part, please every body, whether they
be smart or dull; those quick of appreciation, or those slow gentlemen
who always come in with their congratulations upon the birth of a joke
at the time its funeral is taking place. And so, PUNCHINELLO will do as
others do, and will occasionally view, from the loop-hole in his
curtain, the successes and failures of his neighbors, and will give his
patrons the benefit of his observations.
The first thing he notices to-day is, that the _Evening Snail_ of last
night is not so good as it was a fortnight ago; or, let us think a
bit--it may have been a good number at the beginning of last month that
he was thinking of; at all events, this last issue is inferior. The
matter on the first page is not printed in nearly as good type as the
original periodicals had it, and while the letters in the heading are
quite fair, it is very noticeable that the I's are very defective, and
there is no C in it. The "Gleanings" are excellent, and it would be
advisable to have more of them--if indeed such a thing were possible in
this case. The spider-work inside shows no acquaintance with the
writings of BACH or GLIDDON, and there is nothing about the Spectrum
Analysis in any part of the paper. Besides, the paper is too stiff and
rattles too much, and PUNCHINELLO could never abide the color of the
editor's pantaloons. Why will not people dress and write so that every
body can admire and understand them. Especially in regard to witty
things and breastpins They ought to be loud, overpowering, and so
glaring that people could not help seeing them. And they ought to be a
little cheap, too, or average people won't comprehend them. In both
cases paste (and scissors) pays better than diamonds. The reports of
private parties in the _Snail_ are, however, very good, and if it would
confine its original matter to such subjects, it could not fail to
succeed.
* * * * *
A Query for Physicians.
Are people's tastes apt to become Vichy-ated by the excessive use of
certain mineral waters?
* * * * *
"Behold, how Pleasant a Thing 't is," etc.
Boston has a couple of clergymen who have fallen out upon matters not
precisely theological. In the summer, the Rev. Mr. MURRAY leaves his
sheep, to shoot deer by torchlight in the Adirondacks. This the Rev. Mr.
ALGER, in addressing the Suppression of Cruelty to Animals Society,
denounces as extremely wicked. From all which Mr. PUNCHINELLO, taking up
his discourse, infers,
_First_. That it is a great deal more wicked to shoot deer by torchlight
than by daylight.
_Secondly_. That the Rev. MURRAY and the Rev. ALGER are of different
religious persuasions.
_Thirdly and lastly_. That the Rev. Mr. ALGER doesn't love venison.
P. S. Persons desiring to present Mr. PUNCHINELLO with a fine haunch,
(in the season,) may shoot it by daylight, moonlight, torchlight, or by
a Drummond light, as most convenient.
* * * * *
We are indebted to Mr. SARONY for a number of brilliant photographs of
celebrities of the day. Lovely woman is well represented the batch, with
all the characters of which PUNCHINELLO hopes to present his readers,
from time to time.
* * * * *
Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1870, by the
PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY, in the Clerk's Office of the District
Court of the United States, for the Southern District of New-York.
* * * * *
[Illustration: ALL ABOARD FOR HOLLAND!]
PUNCHINELLO understands that a performance is soon to take place at the
Academy of Music, for the benefit of GEORGE HOLLAND, the well-known and
ever-green "veteran" of "the stage." It pleases PUNCHINELLO to know that
a combination of talent and beauty is to be brought together for so
worthy a purpose. Seventy-four years ago, when GEORGE HOLLAND was a
small child, PUNCHINELLO used to dandle him upon his knee. Hardly four
years have passed since PUNCHINELLO was convulsed by the _Tony Lumpkin_
of HOLLAND. He distinctly remembers, too, administering hot whiskey
punch to little boy HOLLAND with a tea-spoon, which may in some measure
account for the Spirit subsequently infused by the capital comedian into
the numerous bits of character presented by him. Considering these
facts, it is manifestly an incumbent duty on the part of PUNCHINELLO to
request the earnest attention of his readers to the subject of GEORGE
HOLLAND'S benefit, all particulars concerning which will be given due
time through the public press. It used to be said, long ago, that "the
Dutch have taken Holland," Well, let our own modern Knickerbockers
improve upon that notion, by taking HOLLAND'S tickets. Remember how,
in the early settlement of the country, it was Holland that made
New-York, and see that New-York now returns the compliment, and makes
HOLLAND. Convivial songsters frequently remind us that--
--"a Hollander's draught should potent be,
And deep as the rolling Zuyder Zee."
Mind this, all ye Hollanders who would give your support to our HOLLAND.
Let your drafts be potent, your cheeks heavy, your attendance punctual.
Make the affair complete; so that when, here-after, a comparison is
sought for something that has been a sued people will say of it--"As big
as that Bumper of HOLLAND'S."
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